Good evening at the 9th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's a sunny and warm day outside in The Netherlands. 

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Really, do I get it right? The day Mark banned me, was the day they all resentlessly banned me, started to spit on me, and slutshame me. It was really ruthless, unforgiving and too sharp to fully get. I never understood. At least, not what I was supposed to be. I believed mankind and morals to be a bit softer than what they portray. It sucks, and it hurts and hell has frozen my heart. It's not what I intened, but they are too difficult, and too stupid. 

And I was a bit stupid, for not understanding. Thinking things could be talked and done over. Untill it was right. But it's so unforgiving and cruel, it's murder for the mind. I did not understand how cruel these bitches where back then. I never fully undersrtood untill recent, I always thought it could be made truly right somehow. 

But it's so cruel and unforgiving, and it doesn't look like Vana at all. But it sure was Vana that did so. Vana has hurted me a murderous amount. And what do they know? I stand alone against them. It's so many people. I can't solve it. And it's so cruel. I became so sick over it, delusional, heartbroken, misunderstood, slutshamed, left outside alone, and made bigger and worse than I am. I lost my face big time over it. It was terrible. It felt like too much, I lost this game, and I could have lost my life over it. Given what happened in those desperate delusions, where I run alone from home moonstruck. I did not get support from anyone, they all abandoned me. 

No one helped me out, they all told me to shut up for Castlefest sake. It was cruel, unfair, and cowardly from the rest. But they all blindly followed Vana. It hurts so badly to have been treated so cruel. It looks so nice, but it's all ice, snow and venom underneath in them. I could not handle it back then. I finally start to understand what it contained, and how big it is and was. I never felt that. I never felt it that right. I always flew somewhat above it. my heart wasn't in it. I did not understand. I could not understand why or how. It's been too mean. I have been right to leave. It can't be solved. The unworldliness off this pain is what stands out. I'm not like them. they are cruel people with no heart. They are the cruelest people with a shallow smile and an empty heart. They are not what they pretend to be. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.