Good morning at the 1st off February, 2019

Good morning,

*

It has been snowing in the Netherlands, I have no work shift, and I think I'll stay in all day this day. My light depression sometimes seems to get the best off me again. I did some wash up today, and as you might know, to share what I'm planning to do with the audience helps at times. 

I hope there are no people watching who are up to evil or who wish to do me harm, comming to think off it. My grandmother is about to celebrate her 85th birthday this sunday. She's such an old fashioned sweetheart. But I think I'll skip that, because off my fear off slipping and breaking a limb in this snow. I rather stay in this weekend, and keep it comfortably. Perhaps I might even finish A novell I have been reading now and then. I'm getting sane in my head again. Was that delusion about A crush nothing but that- A delusion? I wonder. I hope I'll manage to keep it going in my life now. I bet he hasn't even noticed to have been on my social network sites for about two weeks now. But aside to that- my life is important, to stay sane is more important, and to take on every day life makes me A sane person again, with tasks and A road to follow to calmness. Which is almost sacred to me. There are people who follow this road their entire life, and never fall in love. I envy those. acting Acoy to people interested in me, is MY way off not having to get in trouble with this- what makes even me the most sensitive, A crush, no matter how vague that crush feels. I'm not the one to step over things easily, I think off those who demand so as utmost bitches themselves. 'No, I'm not done with it. You better respect my sensitivity, you FEECH.' I tell them, frowning down upon most off that 'Tuig.' Who themselves can litterally take nothing, but who preach all the time about how others are supposed to act and feel. And I'm sure I have survived A dose off that myself. I'm glad I'm close to over with that last step - A crush- On someone from their social circles, and being capable to go on. I guess for my safety, I better shut this blog off, but I also find their threatening towards me A crime on it's own.

I suppose it's not easy for jealouse Natasja that Mark has A crush on me. And that's still the conclusion to what I suspect to be the actuall reason for my ban. She can't take me, perhaps she should do something abouth her salt intake. But I bet that won't reduce the sour acid in her- and their evil system. 

'Can you imagine how - Sour- those people actually act? These muffs allow themselves nothing, but step on me all the time with their rigid jealousy. If that's how they like it- chapeau, but it's not my fault, that nonsense is what they've choosen themselves on how to take on it. A limb off salt, or what I reccomend- Sugar, that stuff reduces the sour, well, all off that might help.' 

But the acid sour feech queen stays on her position. And likes to jealouse tore my emotional heart out. 

And I'm serious with that. (Weet je wat hier aan scheelt? Ze worden te weinig tegengesproken waardoor ze het arrogant te hoog in de bol hebben, en niemand die ermee omgaat, durft er wat aan te doen. Dat betekent niet automatisch dat IK het altijd gedaan heb. Geen punt van discussie 😝 ) Well, stay on being sour and jealouse Natasja, You still can't tip my lemon owl-cakes with that attitude, but I'll keep on going with real life. 

**

Allright, what's there to do today? The kitchen is somewhat cleaner, I'm about to order A range off new plates, both for breakfast and dinner, I feel like making Custad-cakes, and like making hot chocolate, I suppose I have to get out to buy milk this weekend. And then, taking on it super lazy and easy. It's as if 'Shoot.' Something got off, and I'm capable to think clear again, though the sore off this really- over my mind and heart- crush, will be around quite some time. And no- I'm not going to sing with A guitar in Leiden to 'get the guy.' I'm glad I'm over with it- almost, and that I can focus myself again on life. It probably would have gotten in the way off day to day duties. But as long as it took, it was really A nice feeling like I was in heaven. While he wasn't even near, just imagination, but- so nice. 

I have the feeling to see my amount off milk, and go to make that custard cake 😉 

I hope to see you all back soon 

XXX.- 

Maaike.