Good afternoon at the 21st off January, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's on the edge off storm and very cold winter weather in the Netherlands. It's dreary and cold, and it started to wind. 

*

It's January, and life is depressing as a doorknob at the moment. What is the best solution to withstand it all? To Winter! 

I'm wintering this season in comfortable Norwegian knits, with vanilla scents and an after-Christmas feeling. I told you how my Christmas vacation wasn't much off a succes, but to truly Winter is a succes. It works with Norwegian knits which are a little off the Christmas colour scale and are not too sparkly, and warm vanilla scents I have left over from Christmas. And a hint off neutral make-up from a Christmas eyeshadow pallet. It lacks the Christmas lights, but everything to it's own and this is not Christmas. It's to Winter. It's to get over with the dark and drearyness off this season. Warm and cozy as it is. 

There's still snow on the streets, and ponds and waters are frozen stiff. January is very well suitable as a month to finish Christmas left-overs. (Offcourse not the food, but some sweaters, scents and make-up are suitable.) Whoever keeps what, has what. Though I purchased these Norwegian knits on an after-Christmas discount. 

Globally seen, in my home the feeling off Christmas can last from half November untill February if it's needed. It's what we need to survive these dark and dreary months. Stone cold as it is. I believe there's nothing against it. It's actually very cozy and nice. Maybe it's an idea for you. To after-Christmas winter these cold months. Maybe you can stand the cold a bit better that way. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 16th off January, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

This morning the streets and the roofs where covered in snow. It's been cold and cloudy today. 

*

I think I must have been cheering a bit too early two days ago. I felt so well, I decided to stay out off bed in the evening. Listening to music, watching movies on Netflix. It's a period where people and animals die in my close surrounding, that very evening. I have been cheering too early. I still feel like I want to be out off bed in the evening instead off being in bed depressed all the time very early. Or is it truly depression? 

I manage my days well. It's just that I'm so winter-tired in the evening. It's strange how I watched cute video's off kitties on Pinterest when my cat died. Especially cute tuxedo kittens. I thought about him that evening. It's hard. 

It's quite the January, and I'm dealing with a gloomy and somber feeling. The weather doesn't work with either. Tomorrow there will be a blizzard according to the forecasts. Now it's said it's 'just in the south.' Where it was the whole country at first. We'll see. I think it's a good idea to watch the news ahead to this blizzard to be informed about it. 

I feel sad and I'm doing hard. I informed everyone here about Tom, I talked about him and his death, but it's still very hard. And one off my elder neigbours came to pass. It was an elderly man in his 70's who was quite someone around this neighbourhood. He fought against darm cancer, but lost. And my friend the old Zoo keeper is sick. So we hadn't have the chance to have coffee yet. He was very good friends with the old man who died, so I expect him to be in big mourning. I think I will wait untill he's fine again. Like Waldorf & Stantler from the Muppets they where. Quite the phenomena to comment to people and situations at de Boed and the terrain. It's a loss for the entire terrain he's gone.  Though he wasn't my friend. 

And my period broke through, I'm firmly bleeding, and I expect that will hold on the entire week. 

It's 'such' a week, with cold, losses and a period. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 11th off March, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

This afternoon was pretty sunny, I had afternoon coffee in the sun. There's a forecast off more showers, whatsoever. The snow is gone so far. 

*

This morning was for baking this forest fruit syrup waffle pie. We will have it at our afternoon coffee at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. Aside to berry sauce, I decided to adjust syrup waffles to the filling. I hope the combination will be a succes tomorrow. It's a try out, but people at de Boed already believe it's going to be great. All my bakings are beloved among them. The icing sugar hides the lack off eggwash, (I forgot) and the messed up checkers on top. I had the berry sauce left over in my freezer, and thought it would make the perfect pie filling. The receipe for the dough comes from 'Appeltaart bij Janneke thuis.' by Janneke Philippi, but I adjusted vanilla extract and my own selected cookie spices to it. 

And offcourse the filling is no appeltaart, but broken syrup waffles on the bottom, and home made berry sauce, thickened a bit with cornstarch on top. Actuall appeltaart will be next week, snow or not. (If I can afford, otherwise it's going to be something else.) 

Sometimes it's a good idea not to eat the entire package off syrup waffles when you allow yourself one at Friday night. 😉 The day is sunny, but there's a promise off even more snow in the air, but I'm doing well.   

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 10th off March, 2023.

 Good evening everyone,

Today the Netherlands was shook up by a blizzard. It's snowing and it has been snowing the entire afternoon. The streets where covered in a layer off snow this afternoon. As if something yells at us: 'IT'S STILL WINTER!!!!!'  

*

This evening is for tea with a syrup waffle. It's snowing outside and ahead off me lays a weekend off doing little, except for baking a fruit pie, probably. I will do so on Saturday. I'm doubting wheter I will top it with checkers or do a pattern in the dough on top, with flowers done with a cookiecutter. The flowers will be a bit easier for me, since the checkers are always a little hard for me. I hope de Boed will enjoy my creation on Sunday. It's nasty weather this weekend, that simply asks for a baking. 

I decided, if next week will be snowy too, I will make de Boed a simple appeltaart (Dutch applepie) for next weekend. Nothing is as appreciated as that when the weather is bad. And practice a little with those checkers on top. Many a Dutch person can make it, I should be capable to do so too. Often I make myself away with it easy, by making apple crumble pie so no one will notice the lack off checkers. Next week I should owe up to it better, and simply give it a try. You never know. 

Somehow I expect the bad weather to last for some time. I'm thinking off not storing away my sweaters and goat wool socks untill I feel spring has truly started. Somehow untill after the first or second week off spring. 

Nothing is as sacred as my evening tea when the weather is all dreary like this. No matter how deep the crisis will be, I just have to have my tea in the evening. A simple heart enhancer, but it's good for mind, body and soul. And it's mind calming in the evening. 

Today was a bit boring. I had lunch with a left over off my mustard soup at de Boed, and I have been thinking out the Wednesday Soup for next week. Other than snow and seeking out soup receipes on the internet, little has happened. (Next week will be for creamy celeriac soup, with stripes off bacon.) 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.     

Good evening at the 9th off March, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cold, grey, dreary and gloomy. In the evening, there has been wet snow. As if something wishes to tell us: 'It's still winter, everyone.' 

*

Today we had the alderman from social business for a visit for lunch at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. Guess what they served siding the sandwiches? Well, yes, my Zaanish mustard soup. The alderman and Leviaan's entire management (CEO, two managers) and staff from the alderman pretty much loved my soup. We had a lot off important people for lunch today, and I made the perfect impression on them with my Wednesday Soup, which they had shoven to Thursday for the occasion. The intention off all off that was to let the alderman meet de Boed, and Leviaan, and share ideas for participating more, and involving the neighbourhood and the government more into Leviaan business and activities. It was quite important, but it wasn't for my soup if it failed. 

Other than that, I wish to reccomend a book to my audience. 

And the Dutch version, which I actually read: 

The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse, by Charlie Mackesy. I had it as a present from my mother this week. I just love it. It's and image book for all ages, and I have been really touched by the images and the story off friendship and the beautifull life lessons they share with us. It's just perfect for any sensitive heart. If you're into loud popculture, it's not for you, probably. But if you are sensitive, mature, and strong- and looking for some wise words, I would definetely recommend it to you. It's a work off love which is very stirring in my opinion. Those images really do something to me. If you are looking for something with great emotional depth, look no further! You're going to love it.  

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading! 

Good afternoon at the 22th off December, 2021.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today was a perfectly frosted morning. The streets and the grassfields, the buildings and the trees where all covered in that perfect white sparkly frost this morning when I opened my curtains to see what weather we would have. It's sweater weather. 

*

Nobody has appointments for work today but me, and there is barely anything to do outside unless you work in healthcare. de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk, specialised in psychiatric healthcare is one off those institutes that's open every day off the week, Corona or no Corona, blizzard and christmas or sweating heath and summertime. It's something to hold on to for the mental and I suspect them to even be open the day after there would be a massive bomb attack from planes on Zaandam. Corona is an excuse for prissys. So. Today was for my Wednesday Soup, despite everything. Creamy Mushroom, like I told you and it was perfect. I believe it could count as a perfect start up for people's christmas. According to the reactions I wasn't far off with that conclusion and it's an easy soup to make. It's a queen among my soups. I have a hard time dealing with restrictions but soup making helped me up again. 

It's somewhat hard since the lockdown has increased. I've had the plan to bake more cookies during these weeks, but I'm so anxious I can barely set myself to it, and that christmas cake that elderly lady asked me to make? Forget it, I just can't when I'm like that. I have slept terribly these weeks. The only light at the end off the tunnel is that I will have my booster vaccine on Friday, by the end off the week and it's pretty fast since I live in a care home. I'm a prissy these days. I could help my fellow patients but I'm all sleepless and anxious these two weeks. I decided tonight that I would be off no help and just be in the way to care takers if I would fall down from stress and I had to be brought either to a psychiatric clinic or the hospital. The last can't help me these days, and the first is already on it's last leggs as far as this crisis goes. I don't know if it helps me already, but I felt I could sleep again after that thought. I'm not off help for professionals when stress kills me in times like this.

I still can't set myself to making the cookies I have been thinking out for this occasion off increased lockdown, or the polar bear cake for Anne, (There are a lot off women named Anne, I suspect people wouldn't be capable to find her this way if I wrote her name on here.) but at least I could sleep the rest off the night. And despite the morning being hard- My christmas start up soup this week was a fact. I'm tired from sleeping bad for about half a week. I have mentioned good night tea (slaapthee) helps, but the second night I drank it, I couldn't sleep but my mind was more at ease. I felt well rested despite no sleep had happened. 

I hope I can keep myself to these words off courage. I hope sleeping is easier with this mindset, but life still is stressfull and frightening these days. I have been thinking 'I wish someone would bake me those coconut stars.' but as far as I know, I can forget about that. Life is hard for the first time for my mental disorder since the crisis broke down. It's a bit too harsh to demand me to get back up on my feet if I don't know if I can take that at this moment. My light in the darkness is that I will get my vaccine soon.

Some care takers are a bit harsh about it and push me to limits. I have been discussing this with other care staff and they say I should talk about it. But that's a story on it's own about a witty care taker who isn't feeling with people very well and who works a lot off people on their sensitive nerves.   

Previous year I wasn't so afraid but it's because there have been riots all over the country. I'm afraid it might come to a civil war once those riot seekers are getting wild and they will get after me and do harm to me personal. Out off jealousy because I can take on the crisis well compared to others in the country and I don't have to deal with outstanding poverty like a lot off people. (I'm far from rich, I live in a very small appartment but I don't have to deal with things that hit common working people these days.) If the riot seekers get violent, I'm afraid the police and even the army can't stop them. That's my main fear. Not even Corona on it's own since I can cope with that. The lockdown has massively increased, I'm afraid the people can't take it and this small country will go mad somehow. 

Allright, that's about it- Thank you all for reading.                    

Good evening at the 27th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is rainy and cold. I even saw hints off snow on our pavement in front off the building and that is rare. The Netherlands hasn't had snow in November since ages. It somehow reminded me off scenes in Harry Potter, where they return to the castle with snow in their hair during November / early December. 'It's already snowing somewhere in the mountains.' All because off that depressing tad off snow on our local pavement somewhere in the flattest area off the world with no mountains in sight. It's probably gone tomorrow, but it was there for a while. 

*

Corona restrictions are strictening by monday, and I had my own way off fighting Corona Blues. 

By making de Boed an outstanding Banana bread decorated with icing, slivered almonds and pieces off crushed Speculaas cookies. 

It was a great taste to people at de Boed and I had the receipe from a free magazine called 'Boodschappen.' Available for free at the supermarket I mainly go to. (Supermarkets in the Netherlands hand out free magazines with good receipes to their costumers for inspiration to them. I have a big pile with years and years off free editions in my book case. They have one every month.) Sometimes the best things come to you for free or are somewhat free. Not always, but sometimes luck comes for free.  

It's funny how I upload a picture off something that's already been gone by now. People loved it during coffee time at de Boed. It's a way to fight Corona Blues to soften circumstances to them by serving them something good with their coffee every often. I can invoice my groceries by now for baking, so I can serve people these kind off things with de Boed paying for it. They said 'I didn't have to pay everything while everyone enjoys it.' I still have a lot off ingredients left. I have the feeling I might make one again tomorrow for them. That seems sort off fair since they paid it.   

It's cold, it's wet snow outside and Corona is increasing and the country slowly gets back to lockdown. But at least I can soften it a bit for fellow clients and staff members. 

I wish to spend the week in between christmas and new year's eve watching Harry Potter. I wonder if we can see a white christmas this year, snow falling and temperatures below -15 degrees celsius for the entire winter. That requires even better baking, and more heartwarming soup each week. 

I'm tired. I feel exhausted a lot and I'm not really high in energy. I do walks each evening after dinner with a member off our care staff to get fresh air and not getting rusty in my legs. I sleep in time (I try to each night) I need fresh air to keep myself from overheating, inside and outside. I might drink a cup off coffee too much every often but I believe most Dutch people love their coffee. (I might just speak for myself. You can't speak for everyone if you state something like that.) Today I had just a few small cups at de Boed. I feel with poor people this season as poverty is not funny and I wish the government wouldn't increase the gap between rich and poor and be more heartfull with those in need. Most people aren't rich these days and hospitals are overflowing with patients and are not functioning up to where they should. We need the left wing in politics, but they are fighting each other and are unreliable these days. We need a better care system and something that watches us from falling behind in social care and things we need in life, and improvement should be for everyone. Not just for rich people. I'm not rich and I never have been, but at least I have something. Just a little something and I wish for care and wealth to be accesible for everyone. It's going to be a long cold winter, look after each other and don't be egocentric. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.   

A blizzard in the Netherlands

 Good morning everyone, 

This is the area behind my flat, seen from out my window. It's all covered in snow and it keeps on snowing, so the forecast we had here actually did came true. It's a blizzard outside and I think it's allright but somehow I forgot how it felt to have one here. After the first sight on it, I started to re-think and started to worry about what might happen in the long term. care-takers rather don't want people to enter de Boed today since even that small chicken walk is covered in snow and dangerous for us. 

It's been a while since there has been this amount off snow in this area off the country. 

Allright, that's about it for this moment. 

Thank you for reading. 

My personal idea off 'beggar's pudding.' - and a few other hints on saving money from your groceries

 Good evening everyone, 

I hope there will be the blizzard that has been in the forecast this weekend. I would love it to snow this weekend and there to be lots and lots off it. But maybe I'm crazy when it comes to that. I haven't seen a true snow storm in years. It's about to blizzard this weekend. At least, that's what they say. 

*

If you wish to eat a sunday dessert which is relatively cheap, I can advise my Dutch readers to buy themselves a package off 'Custard.' and start making custard pudding with instant custard, just pour it into milk with an equal amount off sugar and borrow your gran's pudding form. It's tasty, (It can also be served in average dessert bowls. Maybe you could give it something special by turning them upside down on small plates so you have a few small puddings. Or just any bowl you think it might suit. Don't forget to pour cold water into your bowls and empty them from water and then stir in your pudding before you let it stiffen up somewhere cold.) It's old fashioned, but back when my family was in a poor phase, I made it quite often for my brothers and you can make up to 4 large puddings from a package that's (Or at least was) below 1 euro's in price. I've learned to hunt bargains when I was poor. And when I had to fend for myself. It's not officiall beggar's pudding. But you could call it that way since it's low priced. And it's fancy and tastefull if you like the taste off vanilla pudding. 

Any extra's are optional (Like berry or chocolate sauce.) you can adjust raisins, or a teaspoon off almond or rum extract or even cinnamon if that's to your taste. And maybe you have some cocoa left in your cupboard - then you can make a large chocolate pudding from it. It serves a lot as it's made from about 1 liter off half fat milk. It's enough for a family to eat twice from. I made this about once every week back in our poor days. If you buy smart, you don't have to starve. It's a crisis out there, but it's no reason to starve. 

*

I don't like the idea off starving people. I'd like to advice to keep on buying garlic, potatoes, onions and stock (And maybe some brocoli or a zuchinni or two) so you can at least make vegetable soup (Don't forget pepper and salt) for yourselves which is nutricious and healthy. It only takes that to make a perfect soup if you have a hand mixer to puree the stuff. French bread isn't expensive either. You could make it a meal on thursdays and saturdays with what's left over from it. I hope I can make you eat well. It takes only one clove off garlic, two small potatoes and one onion for half a liter off fresh soup. It also goes well with paprika's from the market where you can buy a big package off them for only one euro each. Make sure you have 600 grams off veggies for half a liter- which you can easily turn to if you use cheap ass zuchinnis. The market also sells bake off breads for cheap. Really, the market is the first place to turn to if you still wish to eat during days like this and you have to fend for yourself or a family. They sell large bags off left over veggies and fruits for very low money. I can advise people to keep on buying milk aswell, as it's something cheap in this country you'd better keep on stock in your fridge. I hope my advise works. I used to do that all the time when I still had to feed myself - fresh soup with a little bread for a meal for the weekend. Saturday is soup day in the Netherlands after all. Simple mustard soup which goes almost the same, just takes two leeks and a few tablespoons off mustard and a hint off cooking cream to make. (For about 700 milliliter of soup.) Soup is a perfect go-to meal if you're low on money and still need to eat for the weekend.

*

 Last advice: Green tea from Aldi's. If you have people over for a hot drink but can't make them coffee since a package off coffee is pricey after all, head to Aldi's and buy a package off plain green tea and serve them tea. It goes a long way and it's very cheap for a package off 20 teabags which can serve you a full teapot. And it doesn't taste bad. It's also a good idea to have some green tea on stock in case you wish to do good for your health or when you fall sick. You might need it. I could also advice people to stop using sugar and milk in their tea as that can drive them to costs. It might take something to teach yourselves off, but it pays back in the end as sugar is bad for your health if you drink it with each serving off your tea. Tea with your breakfast is something I can also advice as it's relatively low on money and a good idea to take in your fluids that way.

*   

Allright, that's about it. My attempt in helping you with your groceries through this crisis. You can take my advice or ignore, that's all up to you.  

Thank you for reading. 

A basket made from popsicle sticks

Good afternoon everyone, 

Yesterday was an evening for wet snow in the Netherlands. There has been a bit off snow which didn´t last in our part off the country. It somehow felt like christmas eve. I had been making a luxury applepie for de Boed for us which we had this morning with our coffee. It was quite a luxury one with almond paste inside and toasted nuts on top instead off the traditional diamond shapes with dough on most applepies. Today didn´t feel like christmas, but people loved my pie. We had it with some whipped cream.   

I made the basket pictured above this text myself yesterday. It´s a creative project they have started at de Boed, getting people to make baskets from popsicle sticks to set off their mind off off things and to keep them buisy. I finished mine entirely yesterday. It´s not a bad thing, but as far as I feel it, I keep it at one at a time because too much would take too much from my mental energy. It´s a project that takes preciseness to finish. And after a while I feel like it takes too much from me. These are not old popsicle sticks, you can purchase them by the lot at some places and use fresh and clean ones. Old ones people have put in their mouth are a bit gross for this project. Mental people living in a care home often have no clue about normal people´s idea off ´weekend.´ Life most off the time goes on the same almost every day, except that week days are a bit more buisy.  

I´m a bit out off my mind. I have visions off a man named Romeno in my head. He bothers me a lot and sometimes I have the feeling the vision replies to me and talks to me when I tell him something. It´s funny untill it gets stuck on you and it´s hard to get off off it, but I supose it´s not as bad as the delusions I had around new year´s eve. I have the feeling Romeno needs my love and support somehow if he would excist. I simply wouldn´t know how to trace him in real life if he would excist and I doubt he would like a hug from someone like me, troubled as I am. If I´d meet someone like that in real life, I would barely dare to talk to him and give him a heart. I have been googling him and searching for the name he told me on facebook, but I haven´t found anyone with that name. I doubt he´d excist at all. I´d love to be as brave in real life as how I feel in my mind towards him, and give him that hug whenever I meet him. But that´s probably something for later on. 

Tomorrow, my late dad would have turned 68. He´s death since 2012 and it´s almost 10 years now. My brothers will come over to my place to have a little memorial togheter tomorrow. Dad would have been proud off my applepie for today. I´m sure off that. The both off us have baked a lot off them back at my parental home when I was younger. He taught me cooking and baking basics. I became very skilled at that old time, years ago and it still works for me nowadays. Life in care homes is easier when you love to cook and bake for people. 

Allright, that´s about it for now. 

Thank you for reading.    
 

Good morning at the 1st off February, 2019

Good morning,

*

It has been snowing in the Netherlands, I have no work shift, and I think I'll stay in all day this day. My light depression sometimes seems to get the best off me again. I did some wash up today, and as you might know, to share what I'm planning to do with the audience helps at times. 

I hope there are no people watching who are up to evil or who wish to do me harm, comming to think off it. My grandmother is about to celebrate her 85th birthday this sunday. She's such an old fashioned sweetheart. But I think I'll skip that, because off my fear off slipping and breaking a limb in this snow. I rather stay in this weekend, and keep it comfortably. Perhaps I might even finish A novell I have been reading now and then. I'm getting sane in my head again. Was that delusion about A crush nothing but that- A delusion? I wonder. I hope I'll manage to keep it going in my life now. I bet he hasn't even noticed to have been on my social network sites for about two weeks now. But aside to that- my life is important, to stay sane is more important, and to take on every day life makes me A sane person again, with tasks and A road to follow to calmness. Which is almost sacred to me. There are people who follow this road their entire life, and never fall in love. I envy those. acting Acoy to people interested in me, is MY way off not having to get in trouble with this- what makes even me the most sensitive, A crush, no matter how vague that crush feels. I'm not the one to step over things easily, I think off those who demand so as utmost bitches themselves. 'No, I'm not done with it. You better respect my sensitivity, you FEECH.' I tell them, frowning down upon most off that 'Tuig.' Who themselves can litterally take nothing, but who preach all the time about how others are supposed to act and feel. And I'm sure I have survived A dose off that myself. I'm glad I'm close to over with that last step - A crush- On someone from their social circles, and being capable to go on. I guess for my safety, I better shut this blog off, but I also find their threatening towards me A crime on it's own.

I suppose it's not easy for jealouse Natasja that Mark has A crush on me. And that's still the conclusion to what I suspect to be the actuall reason for my ban. She can't take me, perhaps she should do something abouth her salt intake. But I bet that won't reduce the sour acid in her- and their evil system. 

'Can you imagine how - Sour- those people actually act? These muffs allow themselves nothing, but step on me all the time with their rigid jealousy. If that's how they like it- chapeau, but it's not my fault, that nonsense is what they've choosen themselves on how to take on it. A limb off salt, or what I reccomend- Sugar, that stuff reduces the sour, well, all off that might help.' 

But the acid sour feech queen stays on her position. And likes to jealouse tore my emotional heart out. 

And I'm serious with that. (Weet je wat hier aan scheelt? Ze worden te weinig tegengesproken waardoor ze het arrogant te hoog in de bol hebben, en niemand die ermee omgaat, durft er wat aan te doen. Dat betekent niet automatisch dat IK het altijd gedaan heb. Geen punt van discussie 😝 ) Well, stay on being sour and jealouse Natasja, You still can't tip my lemon owl-cakes with that attitude, but I'll keep on going with real life. 

**

Allright, what's there to do today? The kitchen is somewhat cleaner, I'm about to order A range off new plates, both for breakfast and dinner, I feel like making Custad-cakes, and like making hot chocolate, I suppose I have to get out to buy milk this weekend. And then, taking on it super lazy and easy. It's as if 'Shoot.' Something got off, and I'm capable to think clear again, though the sore off this really- over my mind and heart- crush, will be around quite some time. And no- I'm not going to sing with A guitar in Leiden to 'get the guy.' I'm glad I'm over with it- almost, and that I can focus myself again on life. It probably would have gotten in the way off day to day duties. But as long as it took, it was really A nice feeling like I was in heaven. While he wasn't even near, just imagination, but- so nice. 

I have the feeling to see my amount off milk, and go to make that custard cake 😉 

I hope to see you all back soon 

XXX.- 

Maaike.