Good evening at the 23th off August, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

We're in a cooler period in between warm periods, It's breathable but depressingly grey. 

*

Shabby, clean, a little less giving- buisy with trying to do cheap groceries and the household, I'm trying to handle and fight inflation and my feelings about the war this way. It's for the kitchen honour off a war. But not really. Most Dutch say we're not in an actuall crisis, everything is just darn expensive. Still it works against my good moods. I keep on thinking about all the poor families without food on the table. Very sad. But I can't do anything for them. I need my pennies myself. Sometimes I donate a small amount off money to charity. But not that often. I'm like many a Dutch, sober these days. Honest, I'm not that diffrent from average people in my head. Especially when it has to be more cheap. I'm nothing more or less than most people. Just a simple yet fat girl from the poor part off the country. It's such a discovery how I'm like the rest off them when I have to live cheap. 

What I do to try to keep it togheter- to be a little more clean. I got complimented all the time by care staff how my small flat is more clean and tidy. It's a crisis reaction. I feel so good about it when I cleaned something and it's all fresh and smells like lemons. I'm an average clean jerk nowadays. I think I can ditch people over being ungroomed an unhygienic. It's below my cleanline standard nowadays. It may sound a little bit arrogant, but I'm at that point. Cheap, clean, and a little old fashioned. I'm in line with this country. With crisis, actually. 

Strange enough I feel less wobbly and more 'on my feet.' when I do that. More sober, more grounded. But also more cranky in an ordinairy way. Fighting the crisis and waging this war my way makes me feel moody. It's also this place, it's vulgair and there's always things going on here. But I handle and deal with it as much as I can. Perfect life is for a princess, I feel too common for that. But man, do I feel good about managing it this way? I would feel proud to have handled it like this, even if we lose this entire Ukraine war, and Gaza falls entirely. It may sound egocentric, but kitchen honour during a war is not so bad, it's better than none. To feel usefull, healthy and fed, and not bankrupt. Oh, and it's not in conflict with the law and institutes off power can't fight me over it. So it's not dangerous. It's a good thing nowadays. It's just that they don't see me as very serious with this. I'm not off might, I outshine that, and they mention. It's not really edgy or fashionable, the calliby cat and Brussle sprout honour off a war. But it's better than doing nothing at all and just be stressed. It feels as if I put my tensions to use, and make people happy with it. It's fullfilling. Spoiled princesses live in a palace, I clean dishes and mind my money. But do I feel it's worthit? 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

To end this weblog, a picture off tonight's dessert. Low fat strawberry yoghurt with fresh raspberries on top. I ate the entire package off raspberries with this. Just very nice. 

 

Good afternoon at the 11th off August, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's sunny and hot in The Netherlands, and it's said to be a tropical heathwave 

*

Today was for baking a plum pie. With plums / prunes from a care taker's garden. I think it looks quite nice. 

It's done with cinnamon, kardamom, vanillin sugar and star anise. It's going to be served at Wednesday, when that care taker works. I made this today, since tomorrow the weather will be too hot for baking. It's done with cream butter, sugar and real eggs. It's as old fashioned and traditional as can be. It's supposed to be delicious. I even purchased an old fashioned can off whipped cream with it. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 23th off July, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's warm and muddy in The Netherlands these days. 

*

New items in a series I collect- It's almost as if I discovered fresh hope. Despite it's a bit expensive, but it's the latest news on the market, and it's kinda cool to discover. The cooking bible series appears to have almost 5 new titels to collect. I need more space on my shelve for it. But it's 34,99 euro's each. I know if I wait, some enlower in price. But usually I'm kinda fanatic in collecting them. I love these, it's all the information in the field off cookery you need. Almost all the information known to mankind. It's perfect, it's beautifull, but it's high class nowadays where I eat shabby. I think for now it's not worthit, but I'll wait untill it's enlowered, or untill this crisis has ended. Everyone has their fanatical side, The Cooking Bible series is part off mine. But just, really good grief- five titles without me noticing it, I'm thát big, fat behind. Before getting poor, it's almost been pride to 'have all off the latest editions collected.' On my shelves, as if it's a real edgy, cool thing to do so and to have that. In this country, you could say it is, but I walk around on potatoes, veggies and meat and fruits for dessert, and expensive cookery is such a 'far from here' - show, it's almost insultive to myself to own such pricey books on the subject, but not being capable to work from them. So it's a waste. But maybe I can pass by bookstores and the internet every now and then, where it ends in my basket somehow, and badabim, badaboof- it's on my shelves somehow. I think it will end up like that. I'm not that steady in forbidding myself these, I'm afraid. 

And I wish to test fries, French Fries, to see which cheap brand out there is best for Sunday evening. I'm not going to do so every day, I still have to fit my pants. It's a Sunday evening thing. I should not grow more fat from it, and my blood level should stay as good as it is now, but I'll do so in moderation, to a point where the damage is minimal. So it's not dangerous to try what PicNic in The Netherlands has for cheap fries. Last weeks, it came down to a 6, not really well done with my Airfryer power. I wish to keep out all expensive A-Brands, and try the cheap ones. A-Brands give perfect results, but are we rich? I don't think so. So I'll try cheap fry brands. Usually I eat these with vegetables, so it's still kinda healthy. (And a doll up off Zaan mayonaise... so not completely healthy.) It has to make a festive meal perfect. 

And last thing I woe about- Autumn pies and bakings. Something says I won't be so fanatical with these this year. I happened to bake the stars from heaven in Autumn my way each year. It was beloved by fellow clients and staff. It's not as much as it used to be. Cooking an average meal already takes up a lot off time. So a common farmstyle cake is already much. Sometimes I'm a bit high in my head, like with that banana bundt cake from two weeks ago. It really just had to happen. It's constellations where just too perfect, and it just had to be. But it takes up a lot off energy, so I have to be spare with it. Both costs and energy, almost like owning a company in The Netherlands nowadays. It's a bit doubtfull wheter to bake or not. I think I have done my best to it this year so far. High point really was the Valentine's Potato orange chocolate chip heart cake. But Autumn usually asks for a bit more. It's the pressure home bakers have put on themselves nowadays. Autumn is for perfect bakings. It's just that that's more off a '5 years ago'- thing, and this is crisis Netherlands. As long as faces aren't caked in make-up, you know money is spare for baking. Otherwise I really would like to do a square apple pie, and a pumpkin pie this year. With fresh mashed pumpkin. It takes up energy, but the results are usually great. Maybe it's worthit the spending, and I can get eggs for it for free. You know, these inner dialogues off wheter to do something or not. I think it's best to await and see how much it will cost. It's best not to sell a bear skin before shooting it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.        

Examples off Shabby chique dining

 

Good morning everyone,

 if you wonder how Shabby Chique dining can look, well, like this: 

It's just boiled potatoes with fresh carrots and peas, and a normal piece off meat, but it's done on a nice place. So it also serves the eye. 

Fried potatoes, chicken and brocoli, same story. Very normal foods, but served on a nice dish. It makes a diffrence. 

And this is cauliflower with potatoes and a slice off meat, also served on a nice plate. Just sided with water, but I could not feel more decadent than when served on a nice plate.

It enhances the feelings you have during dinner time. It looks good, and you'll feel less cheap when you have these, and it's expensive and looks cheap. Nice dishware is the key! 

I hope you got something onto it, 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 19th off July, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's very early, but it's cloudy and warm in The Netherlands. 

I keep on having this idea that the economic turbulence off the world might take a little longer, and we can still be stuck in it for at least five years. I wish I was reliable and could say something like: 'Please take count off it.' It's not a joke. This crisis is not a joke, and we're not free from it in the short term. We have to be sober, and use our minds with our money and spendings. I think you better do that. The days off splendour and luxury are over for a while. I have shared some tips on this weblog on soberness already. It's what I do: Be sober and use what I already have. It's my way to handle it. A clean and fed body is most important, aside to a clean home. All the other stuff is not necessairy. 

Offcourse we need clothes, but we don't need trouble, so we can do with less. It's that trend from a few years ago, but now for serious matters. I think it ain't so bad. 

Think basics, think health, last tip: Try to eat healthy, since doctors are expensive and unreliable. Keep your body functioning well, by eating veggies and fruits. It's worthit your money. It's what I personally do. I eat healthy to keep out off trouble with my body. And I drink a lot off water. Fresh fruits are less expensive than most desserts nowadays, so I eat them to finish meals. 'She finished her meal with a piece off fruit, and a glass off water.' In a book, you are usually not off high rank when you do so, but for now I don't care. It's either fruit, or low fat fruit yoghurt or quark for my desserts. It's affordable and healthy. To maintain functioning well is important these days. Since doctors and hospitals are unreliable and expensive nowadays, and surgery and medical treatment seems only for the rich. So for the sake off it, to eat healthy, you could give it a try. I'm not going to beg you. 

But yeah, another five years at least for the bad economics and the expensive prices. It might become even worse. Don't think this will be easy. 

I hope to have shared with you what I think. I might be wrong. Don't rely on planetairy transits to think it will end at that time, some things need time. It's what I think will happen. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

   

Good afternoon at the 30th off June, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is a bright and hot day in The Netherlands. 

*

Today is for staying in during afternoon, in the morning I had coffee at de Boed, community centre focused on people with a mental handicap in old Zaandijk, the Netherlands. 

But this afternoon is for staying in behind the van with a pilch off water with my obesity and my pale skin. I can't withstand summer heath. On days like this it's a blessing not to have a job. Did you know that hot sun beams can increase mental problems? When it's scorching your scalp, it can worsen. It usually does with me. I don't withstand heath well. So I have to stay in on days like these. 

I'm in with a sore throat. I sneeze and cough and it hurts. I think it's due to changing weather all the time. And sleeping with windows open without a blanket one night. It started that morning. They say I have to drink a lot. I tried sage tea against it. 

People say my tray cake is better than HEMA tray cake, I checked their tray cake, they call it a strawberry vanilla sponge cake. So if I want to be better than them, I need expensive strawberries. And 'vanilla.' Whatever that means, in baking it can mean a lot. From extract to actuall vanilla bean. And theirs is probably from scratch. I think I leave it due to expensive ingredients. If HEMA's had apple- raisin, I would be better. But a restaurant wants it fancy, offcourse. And spongy. So I won't take the challenge. 

I have a lot off food on my bucket list. What to think off summer berry cake, with actuall berries from someone's garden? But I don't know someone with berry bushes. The bouquet on top would probably only take place that way in this time and era, donated and free. But it's like being a celebrity demanding free goods 'because they're good at it.' When I would ask someone. Or expecting them to do so out off nowhere. I don't know someone with a garden. I don't have that luck. I mean something like this 

Zomertaart met rood fruit

Koopmans fruittaart

I already get a lot off items and baking mixes for free from friends. Free berries are a diffrent stage. Sometimes gardeners have them left, but something tells me I won't find it. But it's an example. Wat would be more off a pretty sight than a cake or a tart, with a layer off cream, with a summer fruit bouquet on top? And you can say 'It's all fresh from the garden.' It's so fancy, and you haven't spend a penny too much on it. Or does thinking it like this make me a bit frumpy?   

Spontaneous ideas pop up in my mind. Fruit tart is a classic. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 14th off June, 2025, 2.

 good evening everyone, 

I got all windows open wide, so it can cool down at home after a hot day. 

*

I have no clue how bad the impact off this crisis is, if people suffer a lot, and what will happen if it really continues for 5 next years. It's possible, since the country ia already suffering from 5 years off crisis. I think it might take a little too long for people to accept. I hope the economical crisis will get off, and supermarket prices won't be so expensive anymore. Inflation should be off. But honest, I think it might take a while. Longer than we are willing to take. And maybe emergensy lights are not much off a bad idea. I got some for when they want the energy off during winter. I think the government is going to force us a few winters without energy at night. From 21.00 untill 05.00 AM, no energy. It's going to be hell to pay. Emergency lights on batteries and books for entertainment are a requirement during such winters. I suggest you to buy emergency lights for when you need them. On batteries. 

I think the end off the situation won't be determined by Uranus in Gemini next year. It might end during that period, but I don't expect a miracle during the exact transit, though I expect it to end during that period. The end off the economic crisis might be the other end off the story. 

I got an idea they think off me being buisy in the kitchen or cleaning is already intimidating to them. I think they're horendous. Except if they are really lazy slouches who do nothing all day, then peeling potatoes and baking meat well might allready seem like too much, just like baking tray cake. I think that's a bit weird. Or maybe they're really easily on their guard, thinking I got a bitch attitude for doing so. I think it's strange. Maybe they should do more themselves. Some men are really easy to annoy, thinking we, women, should litterally do nothing and just be pretty. But that's not what I'm made off. I rather do a bit off work. I'm not a mindless doll. Household should not feel intimidating. And women's classic heroistic tasks should not be seen with jealousy. It insists you're a really wee man. If people would only be less jealouse... Or peel those potatoes themselves... but that's my opinion. If only my generation was raised to survive to begin with. But that's how I think it is. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

Good morning at the 5th off June, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning it's cold yet clear in The Netherlands. 

*

I often got these ideas: 'After the war I want to share toffees and candies at de Boed.' 'Oh, look, this or this and that looks perfect for a baking after the crisis and the war.' While people think I'm mental over it. Mental care takers think I'm not sane for saying the war will be over in the short term. They're all on their guard and think I'm not right in my head for stating that. While before the war, it was the other way around. I was the only one in the area thinking it would become war, while others thought I was absolutely mental. I still got the idea this Ukraine war will be over in the short term, and thinking off after-war treats is legid. 

Most common people don't know and think I'm cheering too early. I keep on having good spirits and good hope it won't take too long. It's just that they think it's crazy. 

I got a few nice ideas for candies and cake after this war. Nowadays I have to do with box bakings, it's barely from scratch anymore. Not that it's bad, and bakings aren't allowed every weekend anymore by them, so for this period it's not an issue to be a bit cheap with baking. And toffees are too expensive for me to eat myself. Whenever I feel like treating it's one euro a box cream puffs from the market. I heard no one complaining yet. They all like it and it's tasty enough for nowadays. It's good enough. Cream puffs are the cheapest and the best treats I can get for that cheap. When I feel like going to the market on a Saturday, I take two boxes with me for them. One with a flavor, and one plain cream puffs. I don't go every week, but when I feel like it, my fellow clients are lucky. I always got 'serving them nice so I can picture them for Facebook.' as a request, and they're answering to that. 

Latest action off sharing cream puffs: 

But yeah, toffees are a bridge too far nowadays. Just like castles off bundt cakes. Even for Christmas that would be too much during a crisis like this. I can perfectly see myself spoiling them with boxes off chocolates all the time after shopping when this is all done, to a point where they (They already are) complaining I should watch people's sugar intake and 'It's not good for the diabetics among them. Please shut it would you!' Like they do when I would do it freely. It's not a celebration when I would murder diabetics with all that sugar, and I wonder if I can still handle it myself, that much sugar. 

My candies, my cookies and my cakes are on a mild level nowadays. It's not really too much. It's not too bad, but often I only eat one cookie a day with my afternoon coffee, handed at de Boed. It's on an unemployed level. But peace and the end off this crisis would ask for a celebration. I always got such pleasure out off sharing home made cake. I hope I can still feel that. 

Nowadays I feel it with plain cake or an almost free and donated box baking, so that's not really the issue. I hope I can level to a world where it's peace, and it's not much off an issue to be generous anymore. I'm used to crabby soberness nowadays, pretending I live up to Dutchness. Usually that makes me feel tamed down and a bit cranky since I associate it with short mindedness. But nowadays I got my budget on my mind when play pretending with it. It's what Dutch would see as well - behaved what I do. At least it's not vulgair, still I hope we will see better times where I can fill the treat box to de Boed with toffees and nougat every often. And make them happy with generosity again. It's really a good feeling I got from that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.      

Good evening at the 28th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been a dreary day which ended sunny. 

*

I've prepared our Ascension day Tray cake with half my ingredients donated. It looks very delicious. If I do say so myself. It's almost tempting. 

If you bake it more professional instead off following instructions on the package, you can get more airy cake and more amount off cake out off a box. And offcourse not using the cardboard mold they include, but your own if it's bigger. It's unemployed cake at it's finest, but it looks so temptingly good, it's promising. I hope it will blow away the worse dreary Ascension day blues for me and my fellow clients tomorrow. 

de Boed starts providing evening meals again. A good care cooking company started to do buisness with them. they're better than my potatoes, veggies and meat. Really good quality for affordable pricing, so I will start to eat there again soon. It's like the Universe has mercy for me with those meals for that price. And it reliefs me off dishwashing. It's really dreamy meals. Are we, unlucky mental patients, lucky for once? I do think so. I can't picture those meals, I think it's not fine with them. It's really three star restaurant quality they serve. Almost unbelievable. But then you should see it. It's really a miracle. They will start after vocation time. When all care takers are back. 

Allright, that's about it for now. 

Thank you for reading. 

 Edit: This is how my applecrumble traycake got served, I took pictures: 

Good evening at the 23th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a fresh and changing day in The Netherlands. 

*

I don't know how the world gets by during this economic recession. I don't have a vision to that. It's a bit unclear. I don't know if they're rich or poor. In The Netherlands, it seems to get by well. People live less luxurious and cuttings need to be made, but there's no life threatening danger with most in my opinion. Maybe it's a bit bad doctors do less due to costs. Doctors, lists, hospitals- all a shame due to costs and time it takes to be helped. Other than that, I think this country gets by. Just a little poorer. Just a little less snobby. But is this a crisis? I think most can take it. 

Offcourse the war should stop, preferably as soon as possible. And prices should be acceptable again. But I think they're getting by allright. I actually have no real clue to it. It's not like the masses die from it. We just have to use our minds and common sense. Maybe it's worse than I think. I should not take too much conclusions out off what I see. People die, but they're old and sick. It's not like they die from starvation or cold. They're dressed and they have a roof above their head. That counts for most. It's not slant luxurious, but is that an issue? I just mention they're a little less groomed. They could use a wash, but isn't that a trend movement? I just don't know if it's out off crisis. I wish someone would do research about this era. In the future, when times are normal again. Fashion is more humble, but I think the country gets by. 

I think a girl should be capable to withhold a crisis. It's important. If you're a young adult woman, you should have savings and security. The world is too cruel to let it depend on someone else. Women should start savings, get stability with their finances and start a life where they can keep on living even when things get nasty. A woman, at, say, 25, should be already capable to do so. I'm certain about that. Men are not dependable, and something could happen where you could stand alone. So a buffer is not a bad idea. And ways to stay somewhat independent. Since men are not likely to be a safe option. And the option to say No when something or someone doesn't feel right. Financial independency helps with that. 

It's good to have the capability to still stand on your own two feet when everything goes wrong, and not go through life mindless. That's my opinion. I hope someone has something to it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

 

Good evening at the 4th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been a cold and cloudy day in Spring in The Netherlands. 

*

I don't use a sixth sense here, but somehow my common sense tells me the situation in the world won't change soon. It's really pulvering teeth while gritting what you have left off them. But don't pinch-point me at it. 

Today was a calm Sunday with little going on, except baking an easy cake. With a cake mix and eggs donated to me. All I had to add was cream butter, a fancy serving plate and milk. Tomorrow, at our Liberation Day, we will have a slice off cake with our afternoon coffee. 

I hope people can appreciate this version, usually it's with added fruits or dried fruits to it, but this year that was a little too pricey. And this is done with donated stuff and devotion. I really took my time preparing it. It wasn't done with everything added all at once, like the instructions might sugest. I did more like a French professional, eggs one by one adjusted to it. And milk at last. I think we got a more airy cake than what you got if you dump everything in your batter bowl all at once. It looks more big. And I know people love these cakes when I lay a little heart in them and bake them that way. But, yeah, no additions other than basic cake ingredients. Even the fancy serving plate comes from a give away shop. It's half a work off charity. A quarter off it is love. I hope people can appreciate. 

I have mild sleeping issues recently, I got up during midnight, or very early. Simply to haunt the internet or my diary. I go back to bed when I get tired, but it's becoming a pattern, and it's hard to break. And that fighting with death at night... I have this issue where I think I'm about to die when I'm in bed. Really troublesome. It never happens, it's just that annoying feeling. I simply, silly wake up the next day. I think my body is still going strong, so I won't die. It's just... really difficult. It's frightfull. 

The life off a home maker is still nice with me. Doing basic chores, making sure the home is nice, Though I don't have a husband. But I feel comfortable and almost safe at home when I do it like that. I can be annoying and flip, but at least I have this place. Be as sick and annoying as I please in the safety off this small care home. Well, at least it's a clean home. Or at least I try to. It's messy, but clean enough and cozy. Perfect for me. While NATO planes fly over, (On the other side off the country, but they do fly there.) and police helicopters seek for scum around this area, this place is clean and comforting. Sometimes it's so important and it's all we need. 💖 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 27th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a warm night tonight. We're ahead to a warm week in The Netherlands. 

*

The protocol has it, orange nailpolish has to be off the day after Kingsday. I removed mine yesterday evening. My nails could be done more tidy, there's both statement pink and orange polish still in the ridges. We had an orange tompouce (The 'ou.' in it being pronounced as the ou in douche, not like mouse.) on a cute plate, but other than that it was a bit on the boring side. But it did not matter to me. 

I just did not feel like it due to my opinion. I haven't even watched the high points off Kings day in the evening news last night. It totally passed me by. It did not matter. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 26th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a fresh night tonight in The Netherlands. 

*

It's 4 AM, I've slept, I'm sitting here in the living room, writing this to you, as good as pain free. But let's not outcall the gods. I decided to stay home this Kingsday, and do it in moderation. I don't feel much for celebrating Kingsday this year, but I'm willing to eat an orange Tompouce pastry for The King at de Boed today. I might come off as an old crank. It's just a way off perceiving things this year. I think The King is a spoiled man, who actually doesn't deserve this during a crisis like this. But then I would steal away a beloved party from The People. That's the other side off the story and we can't do that either. People love Kingsday. It's just that The King could do less spoiled in times like this, but that's my opinion.  I painted my nails orange, though. Simply not to fall out off tune with other people today. 

But my pain has faded and I'm doing almost fine. I can sleep on my side. But let's not sigh too early in relief, let's take it slowly so I can be utmost certain. I think it would be outcalling the gods if I would visit mom. I sighed a bit too early last week, and I started to feel it directly afterward. So I had to call it off. Really, I had to skip Easter from pain. I wish to visit at Mother's day, but that's way ahead. 

These days are for spending a lot off time at home. I'm unemployed, but to keep myself buisy, I do home work like cleaning. Keeping my tables tidy, doing dishes at least once a day, keep the laundry up to date, and yesterday evening was for cleaning my grill. Really, household jobs can be vulnerable. I got help with laundry folding, cleaning the bed sheets and vacuum cleaning, but I mop the floor myself each week. And I clean the toilet. This home is still on the messy side, but at least it's getting somewhere clean. I open curtains and windows each day for fresh air. It's been hard to get me at that point. I was a real slouch with a messy home. But as I'm getting older and this whole crisis thing continues, I'm getting more and more tidy. I think them lazy slouches are a bit jealouse, but most people are proud off me. They'd declare me a lunatic if I would call it wealth, but it sure is luxury to have a clean grill. 😉 

Isn't it a fundament off most religions worldwide, to be clean? Cleanliness is next to godliness. Christianity, Islamic, Jewish, Buddhistic, all swear by clean houses off prayer. I think it's much better than filthy messes to burn incense in. It's just that it stays more in the home and the near surrouding than to go in the outside world when it's this fresh and clean in my home. That's what I mentioned. Maybe that's a more safe option than to seek it too far off, or merely, it's all I can handle at the moment. And this home is the place I can be found most off the time. So why seeking it in the outer world? Maybe the Universe is more common sensed than I think. It's more in the home or the close surrounding when I burn incense now. But why would I need something far off to work? To stay home is safe. It works for me at the moment. 

These are pictures I blogged about some time ago, from fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. It's just that the link failed when trying to share these. Today it works. I went out short before Easter and pictured these. My close surrounding can be so beautifull and pittoresque. It's really lovely. It's national heritage. Simply to be here is no punishment. It's beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 21st off April, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's fresh, grey and rainy in The Netherlands. 

*

I got my laundry on, it's the second day off Easter, I have been eating well and the food was really yummy, but I haven't stuffed my face on Easter foods. It's not going too bad today. My side still hurts a little, I thought it had increased a little this morning. So taking it easy it is. I can handle it. So far, I'm a little restless. But taking it easy I think goes well, unless when I get messed up in my mind. So it's not easy to determine. Maybe emotionally I handle it too well. Pressing all emotions about it away untill it become delusions. I'm not used to Easter this way, but it's not too bad. Altough the sun isn't out today, so no outside bench hanging with the cat for me. In the end, it might have been as if something has missed this Easter and I'm taking it too easy. (I mean a weekend with mom. Not Easter luxury. But mom's company.) 

In my opinion, one off the summons off luxury is dried fruits. I don't know where that comes from. Just like medieval royalty I think that really shows wealth. Just like spices and nuts. There was a time where in this country, it didn't cost that much. But now we're all robbed and companies take it like criminals, it sure is a sign off wealth again. Just like in the medieval age. Tutti Frutti cake certainly is the head price nowadays. But it would be such a refined Christmas treat. Or something for the winter months starting November. I promised to make Tutti Frutti cake on here some time ago, I still didn't get to it. (That's been years ago.) Maybe if I got it high in my head, I even might purchase fresh Tutti Frutti from the market, and feel like a medieval princess this winter. I know these times are very expensive. I might ditch it when it gets too much. So I should not be pinpointed to it. I can't even afford splurges on Christmas cookies and chocolates, so I should beware with dried fruits in Christmas gifts. But maybe I'll do that for this year's Christmas cake. 

I'm making plans way ahead. Maybe a bit early. And we should see. But it's one way I feel really rich. I found out spices, dried fruits and nuts where for the very fortunate during medieval times. Maybe that feeling off wealth when working with them comes from that place in history. Maybe something in my soul remembers. Strange enough. But I should not sound floaty. Good fortune like that for everyone is something from recent times. Somehow I think fortunate times will come back. And ordinairy people can afford them again. It's a dream to work with these again on a regulair base. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.      

Good evening at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a lovely Easter day in Spring. Beautifull and nice. 

*

I promised to post a picture off my Easter tulips. Here they are, they're a bit wreched, a bit crooked, but everything goes well if you know how to photograph. 

Easter wasn't too bad. I have been enjoying it outside nearby our koi-carp pond. With the neighbourhood cat to keep me company. Sacha the cat is really my friend. She is a tortoise shell and said to bring luck according to the Japanese. She lives in a home nearby. It wasn't too bad due to the sun and petting Sacha. 

I have been worrying, over-thinking. 'All those small things people aren't concerned with anymore... I still do these. But aren't they stupid for not doing so? why don't they still do these?' 'Why the hell do you think they don't do them anymore?' Something replies back in me. They're too buisy at their job or with their friends, at life. I've had that feeling for a long time. 'Why don't they do so anymore?' But I think people are too buisy, their minds too caught up with other things. But sometimes I feel what I do should also be done, still. But they say I should not over-worry. It's a flaw in me. It's why I'm in psychiatric health. See. Two days off bad medication intake and I start it again. This morning went well, by the way. My failed career at school started by wanting to change the world. And it failed at worrying. I worry about things nobody seem to do anymore. Them lazy slouches probably have a clearer mind. That's why they're no mental patients. 

I constantly think 'oh, someone should do this or that, or it should go with a little more care or diffrent.' I might be a little obnoxious. I can't do it myself to begin with. I think I have too much heart or a diffrent mindset that does not make sense. Something from an era where people still cared. Some place, somewhere, some time, long ago. But that can't be. I'm a bit annoying with it. The opposite off love is not hate, it is indiffrence. I see it constantly happening. That's why things go bad in my opinion. Because they don't care anymore. And the crisis makes it worse. They where not concerned to begin with, and now everything has to go cheap or be skipped due to money. Will the world still be allright after this? I know it will keep on turning, but will it still be allright? And will things withstand? I probably got nothing better to do than to worry about these things. Especially when I'm badly medicated I'm like this. They say I should not be concerned. Since it's bad for my health. 

I can take deep breaths and sneeze again, it's only a pinch point off sore in my side for the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Merry Easter to all. 

It's cold and cloudy outside in The Netherlands. 

*

I'm typing you this while my nails dry. I don't look that Easter best, I'm a bit slouchy this year, but at least my nails look almost a statement pink. For fancy and almost tidy occasions, I think this shade rocks it. Otherwise I think it's a little bit loud on people. I should not tell them what to do, but it's how I feel about it. But Easter actually feels like the perfect occasion for such a shade on my nails. It's not too loud or too heavy today. 

Yesterday I felt like shaking up them lazy slouches by tidying up my living room table, and serve myself tea with a pistachio pastry and Easter eggs really cute. And show the world. Really fancy, really nice, during a vintage era like this, this is almost pride. You could say. And the lazy slouches had a hard time dealing with it and gossiping about it loud and stupid. I think some women in the fantasy scene are really stupid and lazy when it comes to these sort off things. Slouching it like pigs. During a war in this style, that is not appropriate. I might be a little insane, but it's how I try to keep spirits up. Unemancipated? Might be. honourable? Yes. That's more off the thing. I think we're about to lose the war, but can we at least keep spirits up or try to? Or am I the only one who does that? The foods on my table are simple but good, my table is clean and I still feel well and not depressed. Maybe due to household duties to keep me strong. And the whole style I try to put up with it. But just for myself. Most men have never proven themselves worthit. So I put on all off this just for silly old me to have a comfortable living in this world during this time and day off being. 

Why am I awake at night? I feel I'm fighting death again. When I put myself to sleep, my head is wreched and I feel I'm almost dying. I can't catch sleep due to it. It's not my side that hurts, it's really my head that plays games with me. I'm a sucker who forgets her pills in the morning. I take them around noon from forgetting them for two days in a row. That's almost asking for it. Health care thought it would be a good idea for me to take controll off my own medication intake. But I have told them ahead I would mess with it and be forgetfull. But that's why my head is toiling a bit and doing hard with me. I have told them I'm an idiot with it, but where they to listen? Nah-ah. 

Chocolate is really expensive these days. but I think I do well for ignoring that, and not buying it that much. This Easter it's just one bag off plain dark, milk and white chocolate eggs during Easter itself. I don't crave 300 flavors and even more Easter rabbits for this year. Simply not purchasing, just like Christmas cookies. You could almost feel I'm unemployed on my pictures about it. Barely any sweetness for me during these holidays. Though I found out Pistachio in a pastry tastes great. 

   

It's something to give lazy slouches a headache with. And to enjoy Easter with, offcourse. A clean, lucky and almost organized home maker can still show this off to the world. It's my humble idea off pride nowadays. I should not over-act on it, though. That's almost seeking for trouble. And this picture does not show I'm unemployed. On other hand, I think this is good enough. (That deserves it, at least.) If I tidy up tomorrow morning, I'm all steady for a lonesome Easter 2025. I don't even have my family in my surrounding this year, but at least my care home does it for me. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 18th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cloudy and fresh outside in The Netherlands. It's still dark, though. 

*

I'm here in my living room, I just took painkillers and I try to empty a pilch off water. (By drinking it, offcourse.) I put on a warm vest and I'm sitting my sore out. Today is for tidying up, cleaning the kitchen, tidying the living room and clean the toilet. Household chores I piled up this week. It sincerely has to happen. I think I'm very proud off myself if my home is clean during Easter. 

I don't know who else has this, but due to this crisis, I prepare foods better than I usually did. More thoughtfull, with great care and more caution. Due to prices. If I grease and flower a cake pan for example, I make sure it's done utmost well and all cake comes out perfectly instead off bits being off after the proces off baking. I do my best better to it. And a little grease to that: I imagine to prepare it for my really hot crush. The tension off you know what (😉) makes me do my best a little bit better, and picture it very nicely for the internet to see on Facebook. 

So it's not just dry potatoes, vegetables and meat, but really tastefully made food from it, done with Ikigai care and love. When I'm capable to cook. If not, it's just take away and pizza. But honestly, I would not feel ashamed if Ed the dragonslayer would look at my Facebook, and see what I cook with him on my mind. So, that makes me do my best a bit better too, both prices and the idea off my very hot crush seeing it. He's so hot you won't believe it. 

I had him on my mind with the Easter groceries. It made me want to eat perfect foods. I think it works to take good care off myself and cook well for myself. I never confessed to him. I just don't know if my broccoli would be so good again if I would end up with a broken heart. But I'm not planning to confess he's the hottest man in the whole Zaanstreek. I should be very carefull with that. It's good not to have him in my close surrounding. It's a little key secret in cooking for the eye off the world to see: The thought off a little you know what when picturing it. It's grease for the mechanics in my head / my system that make me cook. Just like price increasement. And my idea off respect for food. 

In my head, I hear them lazy slouches complaining it always looks that good. But it's the only thing I do. I don't take more care off my looks, though I think I don't look dull, but making foods look sincerely good on the internet is all I do due to that crush. A common gal would spend tons on make-up and clothes, spend time in the bathroom and tempt him. (And get the guy) I make sure my foods look nice and picture them in a good-looking light for the world to see. 

I think Ed the dragonslayer would reject me if he would find out. That would make me so sore, I'm not likely to say it to him. I wish to keep on cooking this way. For my own sake. It's affordable and healthy. I better keep it at that. Before I start to swoon over the potatoes again. (Naw, it's usually the meat and the vegetables that steal the show.) And it's just that on a daily base, I can't afford expensive desserts, but I can flaunt a bit with the dishware. I got second hand bowls from a give away spot a few years ago. They look perfect. And it's always the cheapest Vanille Vla. But it's all I can afford. Ed the dragonslayer is no ordinairy man, I think I might do it all wrong. Maybe he wants to see better foods, or diffrent foods. But this is what I got at the moment. But he's inspiring. Motivating, and if a lazy slouch wishes to do what I do, she should pretend to cook for her man my way. I think I would not be capable to 'get the guy.' But I eat well at the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

*

Today was for General Practice. Appearently, they think I cramped or stretched a chest muscle. It's not really dangerous, it's just that it can last for a few weeks. I prefer my own home and my own bed when it comes to that. So, I stay at home this Easter. And I have to keep that spot warm. I have to find something for that. 

When it comes to Easter, I decided to purchase yellow tulips for the occasion. They're on my dressoir in an antique vase from the family. I bought them on the way home from General Practice. And I decided to eat nice meals and do a pastry this Easter. A coffee with a fellow client with an en Vogue pistachio pastry. I've read up somewhere pistachio is the trend for this Easter. 

My plates are one hell out off fashion, but I serve good foods on them. And to be honest, I don't like the current Easter trends. My shirt is a bit Easter Fashion. But leave it at that, I think the current fashion in dining is a bit rough in it's lines. I think it was cheap to develop. It's not refined, where I prefer more cozy details. But if you'd want dining plates like that, from, say, Pip studio in The Netherlands, you'd pay the head price. I can see why that's not actually fashion. But it comes off as if current Easter dining trends look a bit cheap compared to previous ones. But maybe that's this year. I feel I should fall back on the timeless and the classics not to fall out off style. Or my own feeling off style,  (Classic is out off style this year. But it was so pretty when it began these previous years.)

I miss the days where every farmstyle Belle could flaunt with her Pip Studio dish ware. Even my cousin had it. (I was too young and too poor for a set.) But that's really back in the days. I have to accept there's a time where I come off a bit old fashioned with what I got. Naw, I can't flaunt with the dishware, but at least I can flaunt with what's on top off it, at least that still stands. 

 I hope my tulips will bloom, They're still in the green knob at the moment. They deserve a picture on here when they stand all nice. 

Honestly, I made Easter less dry, but what is more off a dry Easter than one where laughing hurts like hell? Naw, that can't pass for a dark point in a crisis, where I have to keep myself in all the time not to hurt myself from laughing about my own jokes. I'm like the Brits, when it's bad, make sure you can laugh about it. Really, vreeting myself an incident was not the intention last week. They say this can lasts for a few weeks. I have to accept. Hopefully it will be over by next month. But let's simply await that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's softly raining outside. 

*

I'm sitting here with a pot off tea in front off me. I can't sleep anymore from pain in my chest. The Guardian Angels aren't really biting today. It hurts an awfull lot. It's 04.00 AM, I decided to spend Easter home alone, due to my bed being more comfortable when I have all sorts off pain to deal with. And mom not really being helpfull if I would go there. It's going to become a boring and dry Easter. I'm also recommended not to eat fat foods. I have to take it lightly due to these pains. And now we think it's not my stomach, but maybe a muscle in my chest. I have to call General Practice this morning. It's too much to sanely handle. 

To breathe deeply, to cough, to swoon, to laugh deeply- it all hurts too much due to the pain in my chest. It's so deep, it's almost unnatural. I hope it's not a heart attack due to greasy ordered foods. I can't get the clue to it, so I better don't analyze it myself. That would be unthoughtfull. 

It's really overwhelmingly big. Just like the headaches, but I got rid off them by drinking enough water. That's how I saved my life with that. Having pain that kills me in my chest is really hurtfull. I don't know how to get rid off it this time. I took painkillers. But I still feel it through medication.  It lasts ever since Sunday. It's really time to see the doctors for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 16th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's warm and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

My side hurts so badly, I can barely breathe. It's 04.00 AM, I've slept a few hours. Health care said they can't do anything for me untill General Practice opens. I'm hurt so badly, really, I'm not used to over-eating on such a scale. Usually I'm really prude with food. If that's the cause. I'm hurt, I can barely breathe or laugh, or cough. Yesterday evening I was doing really hard finding a position to sleep. I have a Guardian Angel LadyBug on the internet. Everytime I post a sore, he cures me kinda fast. That's what he does, that's why I'm so open about it. I believe if I post something on the internet, someone cures it with magic, or something reads it which cures it kinda fast and easy. Or I should see General Practice first thing tomorrow, and use common sense, though the Guardian Angel often also works for me. If he's still among my readers. 

It's a sign I don't vreet. Being hurt from feeding on take away this weekend is a sign I don't do it that much. Not as much as common youth, usually I'm more well-thought with it. But I can't withstand it, appearently. It hurts really badly. And it holds on for several days. Usually it vanishes more easily than this. I'm not used to this. Really, to take a deep breath already hurts. I had to pile up several thoughts and emotions yesterday evening. Because relieving them would have hurt too much. We're almost three days further now, and I think to see a doctor is not a bad idea. Laughs already hurt. It's not preferable for me to have this issue. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.