Good morning at the 16th off February, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's freezing cold with snow on the streets. 

*

It's monsters! It's irresistable, fuzzy, cozy, fluffy green and purple HEMA hug-monsters! 

I purchased them as gifts for my brothers, my brothers are only about two or three years younger than me,  about 30 and 31, so it might seem a bit stange to random strangers why I would do this. But we always have been sorta geeky. So it's not a bad thing to do funny, random stuff like this as gifts. I think these are sooo cute. 💖 Simply to give them away is a good idea. They come from HEMA's, and by the end off the week I will attend to my famiy and I will have some nice gifts for them. 

I have been feeling off these weeks, bad in my skin, delusional, bad sleep, I watch my food, but it's mainly normal food. I feel emotional and gloomy, and I'm often moody and a bit emotional. I keep on having delusions about being followed, It's winter and the snow makes me a bit frightned, about not being into reach for delivery services like PicNic for groceries. Fear is a deep emotion in me, we're kinda stuck in here when it snows. I have been up ever since 02.00 AM, I just showered, I could not catch sleep anymore. Worrying sucks. It shows on my skin. I'm growing old.... Time stands still and passes by, nothing moves with. I'm just growing old. I maintain to look young, but I feel older than I am. On the inside, I feel as old as the mountains, while on the outsde, I'm as young as a breeze. I should maintain youth on my face. It's a waste to look too old on my face. I like the idea off myself as an ageless vampire. Somewhere around 26, I stopped ageing and  I still look stunning. It's perfect.. It's not to complain about, you'd mistake me for a 26 year old if you'd see me. I'm proud I maintained such good health, I would like to stay that way, really pricking out eyes off people my age with this stunt. They live so unhealthy... I would be karma to their face if they'd see me, all young and pretty while passing by. It would be perfect. I may sound like a bitch, but I'd think that would be so funny. If I would maintain good sleep, and be certain medication grants me long live and vitality. If you want to know, I do all these things most people don't do volunteerly and usually dislike or hate. Like eating as good as all vegetables and fruits, little snacking, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no make-up, no sugar in coffee or tea, no high-processed drinks, those sort off things. It's just that I'm medical obese, but with bloodtest results to be proud off. And I adjusted the gym every once a week to it. I feel proud off living healthy. It's just mental issues, being mental a bit moody and bad in skin. And offcourse, that impossible plus-size. I hope the gym will work against it.                                                                                                                                                             

Allright,   

That's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 10th off February, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was grey and gloomy in general. 

*

Not much off a man in sight... No one really watches.... it's always been the same... But hence, this year my mom will be my Valentine. I purchased a handmade gift from de Boed for her, I haven't visited in a long time, and soon I'm about to visit. 

This cute heart was handmade by the handcraft team at de Boed, a small community centre in The Netherlands, specialized in psychiatric patients. It's small, it was 1,50 euro's only, but it's heartfelt. I think it's one off the best items in it's price class. 

I wrapped it with wrapping paper from my storage room. It's been in there for quite long. And offcourse it's a mess, since I'm bad at wrapping, but it's always done with love. and hence, I did not even have heart- themed or valentine themed wrapping paper. But maybe for a mom, this is suitable. I think mom will like it, (or heart it😉)  De Boed's gift shop is perfect for a small budget. It's Iet Petite's Valentines day. But I got a small, deep brown suspicion it's appreciated. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 13th off January, 2026.

 good morning everyone, 

Outside it's cloudy and dark, it's cold. 

*

This year, I feel like Iet Petite with presents. Small, heartfelt gifts- usually personally wrapped, often in old wrapping paper. It's less pricey than big gifts. But it's also a refined, heartfelt art. Instead off 'the biggest box on the shelve...' it's 'A small, well-picked box' or something handmade from de Boed's giftshop. We can't be too expensive anymore, and big gifts have been bingo prices. If you wrap them heartfelt, it's not such a thing they where free. I would not rob someone from expensive gifts, I just think I thought I had less budget for it last year, so we had to take it a bit creative. I believe I got away with it, my mom loved her gifts, so it hasn't been much off an issue, it's just that it's not my usuall style. I had to think it a bit more throughly. I think I did well, I had luck I saw bingo prices fit for it. (And the capability to win them, offcourse.) Maybe I feel guilty, but at least it's not as impersonal as a giftcard, though I think my brothers would not spit on a Nintendo giftcard. It's just that it has not been in my price range. To let Iet Petite go after this crisis is done, and everyone can go expensive again- would be a bit harsh, it's still heartfelt pick-me-ups. But maybe the pick-me-ups can take place on common visits, while bigger gifts can be done at birthdays. I used to be very giving, I loved giving gifts to my brothers and mother. It was always well-received. Nowadays, it's a bit less, and what's for their birthday is on the cheap side. Or so to say, as good as free. I hope they don't mind. I try to give with my heart instead off something cool and edgy. But this way, I manage to still give. 

My greeting cards are handmade by de Boed, and one euro each only. The old women have been creative with it, and it works out for me these days. It's never something bad, it's always really cozy to get a handmade card. But I used to do prints from bookstores. The only cards I have been expensive with last year, where Christmas cards. all the others came from stock or from de Boed, but I think it's not much off a concern, it's just that I hope the receivers don't mind. And grandma gets free cards, from a mouth and foot painting organisation, my mom is a member, and she gives me these cards and my post stamps for free, and I usually send them to grandma. 

We have had these cards for ages, and no one ever did something with it, untill I saw something for grandma in it nowadays. (A few years back) It doesn't cost a penny extra, and the floral prints are perfect for an old grandmother. And the annual birthday card among them is also very welcome, and I hope well-received. But yeah, I barely spend money on cards. And it's such a pick-me-up for my grandma each time. She loves it. And it's just, that this year cards where not among the parcel mom received from Removos. The perfect flower cards where not in, but mom is not witty enough to call after that. It's a bit off a pity, so I have to do with what I still got. I wish for these cards to still be send to us, so I got cards for grandma all year. It might be strange, but I just think to myself: 'What if  I was 92, and had someone doing it for me?' Grandmas love those sort off things. So it's important to keep on doing them. And without those free cards (And post stamps!) from mom, I would not be capable to send them. Just too expensive. 

This year, it's alphabet keychains for people. It's also a bit on the cheap side. Or so to say, what used to be cheap, I think nowadays it's normal for gifts. I hope people don't mind. Handmade letter keychains, and I try to make it more special by wrapping them. I hope people don't mind it's a bit frumpy. But they're old, so I don't think it's too bad in their opinion. I got a birthday greeting from a Boed card this week, to an aunt. One off those handmade old lady cards. I think I get to be known as a cheap old frump, but family is too important to not have it for. So yeah, a bit off creative thinking. And working with what I got, since shops are too distant and expensive to get by each time. Still, my family deserves their gifts. I just hope it's not looked down upon too much. Maybe by people in the outside world. I hope it's not a bad thing. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.           

Good evening at the 4th off January, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is for snowstorms in The Netherlands. 

*

Sometimes, something stares at you and you gotta have it, or elsewise you just know it will be gone. I got that with a present for my family, it was short before Christmas, and I felt Christmas wasn't the time for it, it looked more like a Spring time present, so I shove it to Mother's day. It's a hand clayed and painted serving tray with ducklings. 

It looked so cute, and I found it reasonably priced for a gift. It was so cute... and if something stares at me like this, it's for the fam. I wrapped it, and to tease mom, I send a message with it, but she doesn't read this weblog. 

I got very bad wrapping skills, but still- it's 'creatively' wrapped. The wrapping paper was just a bit old, from the storage room. But still fit for the job. I also wrapped grandma's capital G keychain 

Did I already mention I got bad wrapping skills? I just hope they like these. Hand-made and well ment by de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. Grandma's birthday is at the end off this month. For Mother's day, I'm a bit too in time, but it's in time. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 25th off November, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's cloudy and grey in The Netherlands, and it's cold. 

*

I wrapped a gift for my stepdad 

His Birthday will be at the last day off December, and I thought a small gift would be nice, though I'm not likely to be there, so short after Christmas. I might ask my mom to give it to him at his birthday. 

It's an epoxy keychain, capital H for his first name. We make these at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. With Epoxy raisin and molds. We add decorations to it, and they make cute gifts. de Boed's handmade gifts make perfect gifts in expensive times. They're not expensive with their prices, and items can be cute. 

He's not likely to see it on here, I posted a picture off the wrapped gift on my facebook, making people guess. 

Last picture, A picture off my dessert last night: 

Low fat strawberry yoghurt, with a pile off fresh raspberries. Really delicious. Despite food being expensive, I decided to still eat healthy foods to keep my body in good health. So Yes, fresh raspberries. And they're delicious. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 12th off November, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today the sky was grey, and the place looked gloomy. It's that dementor atmosphere everywhere... 

*

This was in the box off chocolates for mom's 67th birthday: Windmills and tulips, a perfect gift from old Zaandijk. Her birthday was cozy, and the food was good. I also had these jigsaws:

Ot and Sien are a Dutch classic. I had won these at bingo, my mom loves Ot and Sien and jigsaws. It was perfect for her. Dutch culture is perfect for fancy gifts. My mom always loves them. And I got to say: They're doable, not too expensive and heartfelt. It goes in well with the family. During this era, you could even call it somewhat chique. 

Allright, that's  about it for now, - 

Thank you for reading. 

How to make a point

 Good evening everyone, 

Sometimes it's everything 'how you put it.' 

This is a bowl off perfectly scooped strawberry and rum- raisin ice cream, in a plain square bowl, but on a printed table cloth, and done perfectly, many a gelato salon would hire my stepdad for this. It's simple, but done so well, it's elegant. 

We could dine like we're at the raw edge off civilization with our plain foods, and take it like garbage, we could also be a little more romantic and tidy, and treat our foods with respect- and make that table, shape our food and give credit to it like it deserves. Civilization- it makes such a diffrence, but people seem to dismay it nowadays. It's how they like to see us, as unmannered pigs, but what if this savage tells you we could prove them diffrently, and bring it a bit more civilized? You have a chance they take you more serious if you are aware off how you put it. Just an idea. Add a little style, a little know-how, a little touch off je ne sais quoi class to your work- and see how it transforms. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 21th off January, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was mist over the North-Holland meadows, it's been icy cold and misty. It looked haunted everywhere today. 

*

Someone, someone should have this talk with her. For god sake, Natasha Marchal, are you going to weep this out in bed all the damn time, or are you gonna get up and show the world what you're worth? Someone should kick your delicate ass back to sanity. And tell you not to hang on to Mark too much. Get a clue, bitch. We, women, are not ment to cry our entire life over heartbreak. They call it emancipation. You need a fire person to get you a clue about that. 'Tha lady is in bed all the time, and oh woe if you make her cry...' That just doesn't do it. You need to continue with life. Go on with life, live life. Life is both too long and short to waste it. Get yourself a lambourghini, a younger lover and a trip to the south off France. Call it a midlife crisis. And kick ass to all those morons. I can't stand you to begin with, and I can't stand your attitude towards this. Get up, BITCH, and fight it. Instead off this stupid nonsense. No one is getting any better due to it. That's my advice about it. Get tons off projects, set offs, glamour, you need to reach for the edge off glory- not this patheticness. Be the role model for once they see in you, for the sake off it. Not an over-aged dragon off a slut with a broken heart. Get up and start to kick some ass again. 

Today was for going over to my mom to give her a small gift, the latest chocolate from the chocolate shop in a handmade box. It was a perfect gift, and a sweet visit. We need to share gifts. It's a Dubaï chocolate the shop owner invented, with pistachio in it. Perfect for my mom to try, since she loves the chocolates from that shop. It's important to give gifts and share some happiness with people we love. It's important during these dark days. They brought me home by car. The meadows on the road really looked haunted. Spooky, as if we could drift off to another time if we continued throughout it, a time and age where everything was more easy yet more difficult in the old fashioned North-Holland countryside. Very intriguing. But I'm home now, I'm washed and I'm doing my laundry. It's important during this crisis to have comfy sweaters and clean underwear. It's kinda private, but it's important to wash those regulairly in my case. With the finest laundry wash and softner in the country, washed and dried to cleanliness. My ass is gratefull for it. I won't settle for less than the opportunity to clean my underwear perfectly. I think I'm going to replace these after the war is done. It's that much off a nightmare becoming. It almost belongs in a museum. 'But look at what the war did to our guts. If this kinda laundry doing can't get the stains perfectly out.' It can be saved in the archive as an example off filthy war-underwear. That's with perfect laundry wash. Especially in these times. 'Ja, daar moet je wel Robijn tegen aan gooien.' And even then it's forecalling the gods for it to work. So far, clean is sooo nice, it's a necessity. And it's a luxury to put on clean underwear all the time. I can reccomend it. It always feels nice. 

So, yeah, a good day. Coffee visit and clean laundry. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

  

 

 

Kerst 2024.

 Goedenavond iedereen, 

Ik wens jullie allemaal een fijne kerst. Dat is wel het minste wat ik kan doen, dus prettige kerstdagen. 

De dag verliep niet slecht, ik had best een goede kerstdag met een goede sfeer bij mijn familie thuis. Authentiek, sfeervol en er is moeite voor gedaan. Je voelt het aan alles. Dit is heel prettig. 

De man van mijn moeder is zich echt aan het uitsloven in de keuken, dus het eten is erg lekker. 

Hij heeft bijvoorbeeld deze tulband voor onze koffie gemaakt met kerst. Bestoven met poedersuiker was hij erg lekker. En ze hebben allebei hun best gedaan op het kerstdiner. Het eten en de sfeer zijn gewoon te goed tijdens deze Antico- kerst. Dus van mij geen gezeur. Ik ben gewoon tevreden vandaag, dus ja, vrede op aarde, genieten van zelfgemaakt eten, en de top-sfeer als ze hier hun hart in de kerstsfeer leggen. 

Bedankt voor het lezen! 

Good morning at the 20th off October, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's still too dark outside to see the weather for today. 

*

There's a picture I don't like to keep from you, it's the pavement in a park nearby my mom's home, covered in Fall leaves, which gives such an Autumnal feeling to the picture. 

I think this really makes a nice image. I made quite a long walk yesterday, about 10 kilometres and 1500 calories off, according to my step counter app on my smartphone. It felt good, doing such a long walk. There was a time and place when I still lived here, Around 18, when I used to do them every Sunday with our old dog. I was a bit out off my mind sometimes when walking the dunes, as how they're known internationally, but I enjoyed forest walks. People might have thought I was a bit old fashioned, since it's seen as something for old people to go around walking the dunes and loving nature and the surrounding every weekend. It was at the height off my Fantasy interest, where I loved imagining all kinds off things in the local forest. The Castricum dunes lend themselves perfectly well for that. Usually old people do forest walks on Sunday morning, but I'm somewhat off a weird witch, loving being out there aswell. It's a nice forest. 

I never told anyone, except my family. They would not have understood. But I miss it. The long forest walks on Sunday morning. Even without the imagining. I love the forest. And our old dog was certainly my friend. It's just that during my hard period, I stopped them. After to have to live somewhere else, it stopped entirely. Walking the forest was good for my condition. And I believe I slimmed down after starting that. If smartphones where more common back then, I would have pictured more off it. But I was doing hard, so it ended. 

Maybe when I'm here, I can re- start them. forest walks are incredibly good for our health. Japanese call it Shinrin Yoku. Forest bathing. It's good for mind, body and spirit to walk forests. Franscesc Miralles and Héctor Garcia have a great work about it: Shinrin Yoku 

 

  

I don't know if this is also in English, but it describes the scientific and psychological side to an ancient Japanese wisdom. And it's feelgood mental health. It's good to be out in the forest at least once a month according to this. Maybe I should visit my family once a month, and pick up on that again. It would be so good for me. It's something to think about for me. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

    

Good morning at the 19th off October, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's still too dark outside at almost 07.00 AM to see the weather. 

*

Yesterday evening I washed my hair and body with the brand Naif, which my mom won at the lottery for a price, I just think it dries the skin and the hair too much. It claims to be 'good for the planet.' And harm free for skin, but my sensitive skin doesn't take these products well. It makes my skin tight and makes my hair lose it's bouncyness. You can also wash your face with it, but I'm glad I had my face oil with me, so it kept my skin from being bouncy. These sets go for 50 euro a set in stores, so it's important for the audience to know how they feel on their skin. They claim the world, but they aren't that good for our human skin. I got a sensitive skin, and it's not feeling well on mine. So I'm not a fan. 😒 I'm a fan off every brand that claims to be good for the planet, and has no harmfull ingredients in their products, I'm into trying them. But this stuff just doesn't work on me. 😒

I went to my family for a visit. My brother has turned 29, and I got him a cute present. A tortoise stuffed animal. It was a large, funny one and he liked it. 

We're still big kids in our hearts when it comes to presents. He got a pastry for me yesterday. A nice Speculaas vlaai. With a cup off coffee 

It just screamed 'picture!' at me. 😏 

I just have been making tea, and it's infusing at this moment. Maybe I'm in it for a walk outside today, simply to stretch my leggs. And the surrounding where my family lives is beautifull. Yesterday has been quite nice. 

I can't set myself to more than this, but maybe because it's this early in the morning 😅 

Allrigh, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 11th off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today the weather was pretty good. Moderate warm but not too hot. And sunny but not scorching. Like how weather should be.  

*

Today I took an escape to mom's. This morning was for swimming a few lapses at the local pool. I still swim every week. It's just that there happened to have been waaay too much children at the recreation section today. A school's game or so. It's very much to my relief a child is not off my own concern. 

I'm so concerned about the world all the time. I wish we could all afford everything again, and people would not have to suffer so much from the crisis. I overpainted bladdered off statement pink nails, so the colour is on again. It's bright fuchsia pink. 

I took an escape to mom's. de Boed is not very positive these days. People are negative and cranky. I don't know if bold, fuchsia pink is actually 'statement pink.' Just like the buzzing bright green. Maybe I'm just following a fashion trend and declaring it 'statement.' Just like my shoulder length, dirty blonde hair and my bright red lipstick. People are not complaining I'm disruptive or annoying with these. So I guess I'm not doing harm to anyone. Maybe I'm just annoyingly following stupid fashion. 

Maybe I'm even the only one trying to make these statements with fashion. I barely see anyone out on the streets or in the shops with it. I do see bright pinks and greens being worn, though. I'm not harmfull with it, maybe they'll just see me as someone wearing what's in fashion. And the fuchsia and the bright green where just a temporarily but expensive trend, though I did not pay much for having both on my nails. (In my opinion, it wasn't much.) Maybe it wasn't too bad off me doing so. I didn't pay the head price for it. 

Trends are following each other like crazy these days. I think that's Pluto in Aquarius. It's not so steady to tell what's on trend, or truly in fashion. Let's not be too bothered with it, unless I really like something. I decided on trying to keep pretty hands this weekend, though. I'm glad I put the nailpolish in my purse, so I can over-paint, and maybe it's not fashion (anymore) but fuchsia pink nails are really lady-like for a change. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

Good morning at the 17th off May, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cloudy and it's forecasted to go to rain all day. 

*

This Pentecost weekend, I will go to my parental home and spend the weekend with mom. I think I'm going to love it, since I haven't been there for a while. 

My lying about the banana cake worked, yesterday people loved it, and care takers fell for the lie. It's not my habit to lie, so I said I'm not about to bake for a while for them, and I gave up the prices as a reason. Actually that's true, since it's a god's grant from me to bake for them these days with these murdurous prices, but actually I think they take it way too strict with the rules for my baking these days. And they're not very nice in my opinion, so it's done for now. I think I'm not going to regret this for a while. 

I'm not completely done baking, I will prepare my own birthday cake this year, but that's for something private and care takers have nothing to do with that. But it will be for August, and it's a while away. And I will prepare my own birthday treats for them. But it won't be tomorrow for that to take place. So I think I get away with it. 

It feels wrong to have lied, but it's been the only reason for the cake to have been allowed. Otherwise we could forget about it. But my concious is playing up for it. Usually I believe in honesty, but this just had to go this way. I just hope they don't read my weblog. 

And I signed up an old wooden coat rack for bulky waste this morning. It's been wasting around in my bedroom for a while. It's about time for it to be thrown out. I filled in the web form at the government website, and it will be done at the 7th off June.  

Beside to all off this, I finished collecting the cooking bible series: 

I got all 33 books complete for now, due to vacation money from Leviaan. I think I can be proud off myself for to have collected all off these. Though it wasn't easy and it had to be delayed this year due to money. But I'm fullfilling this. (These are very good cookbooks with a certain kind off status in the Netherlands. And they're quite expensive.) It's kinda something to have the entire series complete at this point. But I think I can be proud at myself for it. Everyone their own hobby, and I don't smoke, drink expensive booze or have kids. So I can afford this. Each to their own. And this is what I like. 

Collecting cookbooks is cool. This is the only series I collect at this moment. All the others I have ditched due to the crisis, but I started this before the crisis, so I want to finish it, despite everything. Everyone needs something they're a bit nuts over in their life. I got this and Nordic Ware. Other than that I don't have hobbies or strange collections. And I don't go out or to fun places most off the time. Life would be too dry without these. I can't wait to make use off these. And prepare perfect dishes. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

  

Good morning at the 1st off April, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning it's cloudy and rainy. 

*

This morning after medication is the third time this weekend I overpainted my nails with 577 Cream Supreme by IsaDora. I let them dry while typing a blog. I learned to let your nails dry by typing, (A blog for example) is the best way to let them dry in a way that's not boring. My hands and nails looked tidy and will look tidy this evening during the second day off Easter meal at de Boed. Though Cream Supreme is not an Easter colour, but it's a cool 90's nude. It can pass for today. 😁 It's super cool for my hands to look this lady-like this Easter. 

Today is April fool's day, and second day off Easter in the Netherlands. Who are you gonna prank by letting them sit on an Easter egg? 😉 I myself will probably behave myself. This weekend at mom's felt like an Easter vacation. I feel like to have come to rest here. I made a few walks around  the surrounding and watched some sweet movies with mom. And her company felt great. 

On Friday I visited grandma, and gave her a large box off chocolates. Zaandijk has one pittoresque chocolate shop, run by a hobbyist who made her dream come to live and who makes hand made chocolates. She's perfect at it and my family loves them. They're the perfect gifts. It's just that she's going to retire next year (2025) in June. Her chocolates are my mom's favourite. But she doesn't has a successor, and the shop will be closed by then. But she makes the best chocolates. 

Back on main topic, grandma enjoyed my visit. I don't visit weekly, but when I attempt at mom, I visit her. (They live in the same place.) It's important and good to do nice things for your grandparents when they are still alive. I started to feel like that about it at some point, and now I try to do nice things for her more often. I send sweet postcards, and I visit more. She appreciates that. 

This afternoon, I will head back to Zaandijk. Easter wasn't so bad. It was cozy and nice. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

  

 

Good morning at the 30th off March, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it seems rainy and it's a promise to rain all day. 

*

This Easter, I have tidy hands. It's quite something since I neglected the very dry skin on my hands, and I just put a common wear nail polish on my nails. But my hands are very lady-like and tidy thanks to my mom's hand cream. And my insight for this weekend to keep the nails polished and maintained. It's something for the headlines, simply because usually it's dry, sore and uncomfortable skin on my hands. Mom found a handcream that works. 💖 My own cream only dried them even more. It's no Easter pastel nails. The colour is called 577 Cream Supreme by Isadora, it's a 90's nude. But my hands look fine this Easter. It's a bit off an Easter miracle to me. It's been that dry. 

Mom and I came to terms on something else yesterday. If I would not purchase make-up or books from it, she would allow me a little money to have more space to eat when de Boed quits their meals. But she's quite strict on it. I'm allowed to cover my basics and fruits and vegetables from it. But she decided I'm not allowed to purchase new cooking bibles. There's four new on the market I don't own yet, this weekend there was published a new one. But I better skip that idea. I bet new Nordic Ware isn't allowed either. But I can cook with fruits and vegetables again and make cooking for myself fun again when we have to participate and prepare meals ourselves. 

That's what you got when you're dependant on someone else. Their will is law. I'm also not allowed to purchase mindfullness books and so on from it. Just cover up for my food and basics. Mom is really a strict one when it comes to that. But maybe I can fill up my instagram again with pictures off good meals to keep it fun. It's been a bit on it's ass due to price increasement. On the other hand, now I can finally make my current cookbooks roll a bit and prepare foods from them. Let's try to turn it into something positive. I just hope I can manage to keep the kitchen clean after cooking. I'm not that good at maintaining a clean surrounding when I'm 'like that.' All off it is quite something, but with mom's money I'm going to make it through. 

And just natural hair and plucked eyebrows? at de Boed, my fellow clients and me don't do it any diffrent. So no make-up is not a big deal. And I think I'm not allowed to purchase books on the subject off modern, feel-good mindfullness. I love those. But it's something for later on, probably. As long as this lasts, mom is in charge. And she told me I can't take it so expensive with laundry wash anymore. I have a stock, but to re-fill it my way is not allowed. 

I have to give up a lot to save my ass, but that's how the world works nowadays. It's crisis. But I'm covered, saved, and I'm going to be fed. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

        

   

Good evening at the 28th off March, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was bright and sunny weather changing with clouds. 

*

First news off the day, is this picture off my Easter branch. I managed to picture it better this morning than I did a few weeks ago. I think it's quite a nice picture. 

It's been quite a buisy day. I have been swimming in the morning, and went to mom during afternoon. I'll be at my parental home this weekend. 

Life is quite something for fellow clients. Easter is quite something for them. Most off them have no family anymore. Or a bad bonding with them. It's a good thing to take count off. And so counts for most people. You could say Gorterhof is quite a lonely hearts club. I can consider myself lucky I still have family. Holidays are quite a thing for some people. A lot off people, usually the common, go through it like it's fun. But the lonely hearts club at de Boed does hard with it, mainly. 

We are not common. We do less than common. This world is hard to them. Hard to fully get. Nowadays, with society and the world being screwed up, it's even harder. I should try to understand. Sometimes it's difficult, since their low intelligence makes them short-minded. It's not nice to start about it in public. But what I can do is to convince them. Simply to eat more garlic, simply to try to be open minded, simply to try to be open for new things. Since it can be good for them. And it works. I'm no miracle worker. But to convince them to eat garlic, is simply to put it deliciously prepared in all my soups. But I lose my patience too, I'm no health worker. But this evening, I feel like understanding them more. What it comes down to: Not to be too harsh on them. I got a bit more off a distance to them this evening. That's why I probably understand: All they got during Easter, is de Boed. And it sucks. 

I came to another conclusion. I have no kids, but instead off feeling bad about it, when I see someone elses kids, or when I think about them, I feel 'They are not my problem.' And it's relief I feel about it. 'These kids are NOT MY problem.' Neither money-wise. I don't have to owe up for them during this crisis. And it's a massive relief. Their future, their well-being, their costs- NOT MY PROBLEM!!! Thank god, and it feels great. I'm honestly gratefull not to have kids. I'm free and independant. I don't have to feel guilty to have passed mental issues and my bad genes, and I can be sick and misserable however I please. It's a blessing. It's perfect. 💖And most off all, I'm not guilty to anything. I love it. 

It's good to turn something negative into something positive, and it got on me out off nowhere. I'm free, and I'm gratefull for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 2nd off February, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's cold, cloudy and dreary. 

*

I've read a paranormal magazine which says the Ukraine war will bleed out due to lack off money, people and resources on both sides. It's cheating to share other people's prophecies with you. It's what all prophecies from ParaVisie, a paranormal magazine in the Netherlands, say about the Russia-Ukraine war. That will happen for an end. I haven't seen that scenario lately, it must have been somewhere at the back off my mind, but I couldn't see it all too clear. Allright, I didn't. 

It's not like you can start to make big future plans already, since the economic crisis might take a bit longer for most. And in my opinion, we have to wait untill we have money again before we set the horses on big plans again. Better safe than sorry on everything in my opinion. 

Sometimes all you need is the green, green grass off home. That's why I decided to get to see my family this weekend. I'm at my parental home. It's cozy and nice here. I purchased a cool book at a local bookshop, which has to do with mindfullness and cats, and I would like to inform you all about once I finished it. It's a promise for people who are into such subjects. Buddha, Eastern philosophy, Cats, Ashrams... perfect. 

Translated it's title means 'The monk who loved cats.' (I can't find it's original title.) And it's by Corrado Debiasi, it's often named among authors off my liking like Charlie Mackesy, Hemin Sunim and Hiro Arikawa. It looked like perfection in the window off the bookshop. I was lucky to have the copy from the window, since they where already almost out off it. I could not resist and it's a perfect novell to fill next week evenings with. Or maybe next weekend. I will inform you about it once I finished it. It's truly promising. 

I feel so wobbly and bad tempered at the moment, maybe Buddha has an answer. Like he had on the most difficult struggles with my intense, maddening emotions. I think it's not in this novell, but maybe I can find something, a proverb, a wisdom, that works for me. What to do when you're angry from fear and it's overflowing you like lava? Almost fluid, like warm blood. I'm too familiair with that emotion. If I was a dragon, I would probably burst into fire. It's getting the best off me. Maybe I should start reading my new book when I'm in a more peacefull state off mind. Buddha is too sacred for an angry outburst. (Buddha helps with them. I have these, but Buddhism knew a way to get me over with Vana Events. Maybe it also knows a way to get me over with war and wartime.) 

Don't get me wrong, I would be an angry beast, suffering from old pain and being violent probably if Buddha would not have found me. Short tempered and idiotic, but I prefer wisdom and sanity. Though I'm doing hard with these times. 

I have a request for Dutch publishers, I'm looking for 'The way off Nagomi.' By Ken Mogi, translated in Dutch. Nagomi seems to be a Japanese wisdom off peace, and they have it in English and German, but I can't find a Dutch copy off it. I have read Ikigai from his hand, and simply knowing he has more work which I can't find in my language yet, is not preferable. I would love to see it translated in Dutch, sold at a near bookstore. I would be so thankfull for that. I would love to read it, and fullfill my mind-calming journey through Eastern philosophies and wisdoms. 

Maybe Buddha has found me again. Sending me inspiration in the form off that novell in the window off the bookstore. During a time where I'm doing hard with my fear and anger. But Buddha wishes to save my soul with love and send me that book on my path. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.     

  

 

Good evening at the 15th off January, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was for winter showers off rain, hail and snow. 

*

I got him in 2013. He was a Tuxedo cat, black and white, handsome, playfull and my mom got me him after my old cat died. She named him Tom. Back at the time I was attempting a study which I failed. I tried my best to raise him. He was quite a hand full and a bit naughty, but I felt we could figure it out somehow. 

But then Schizophrenia hit me quite hard, and I had to be in the mental hospital during the stage where kitties get attached to their owners. Say, November / December 2013. Luckily my younger brother took on him so well. I had failed life after getting out off the mental hospital, I was one big zombie. I had no mental power or energy to truly take good care off our pets anymore. Tom was more attached to my brother by then and I had the idea I had failed in raising him. He was doing hard getting attached to other people. What made it even worse, was that by September 2024, I had to go living in a care home in another place. Far from my parental home. So I barely got to see Tom anymore. He didn't like me and he was doing hard being gentle towards anyone else but my younger brother. Except that Tom loved to cuddle in my neck and purr very loud every often when I visited. But only when he got a bit used to my prescence in their surrounding. He wasn't my best friend. 

I didn't get to see him that much. I was working my ass off in Zaanstad at care homes and day care centres, only seeing my cat (Who had the paperworks changed to the name off my family back then, at first he was fully mine.) when I visited my family. He was doing well and adopted with care and love. Being friends with their other cats. It wasn't truly something to feel guilty over, it's just that I felt guilty about failing him. 

Tom had some issues with his liver recently. He had to get surgeries and medication he refused to take. He became more cuddly and attached after the surgeries. I don't know why, sometimes we see the light in the end, but it couldn't be helped: our cat died yesterday evening, and my family called me tonight he died yesterday. Waiting for my younger brother to have come home from work. He was his best friend and a perfect replacing cat-dad. I feel so sad over it. 

If I showed people a picture off Tom, they always said how beautifull he was. He was beautifull, a bit naughty, charming, and it's hard to have lost him. I wish I only would have been capable to take care off him better. But I never could and never could have done in the future. I was too sick. 

I thanked my brother for his good care off my cat, he did so perfectly. He was everything Tom could wish for. My brother is very sad about the loss. It's hard for this evening. 

This is my Tom, 

                                                             In memoriam, 2013-2024. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good afternoon at the 26th off December, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's cold and cloudy outside in the Netherlands. 

*

Mom got out off bed yesterday, and we all celebrated Christmas togheter so it was still fun to be here during the holidays. 

Today I will head back to my small home in Zaandijk, after dinner. 

I have good news for you, in two years more positive planetar constellations are in the air. The planets that seem to withold war and crisis are in a diffrent sign, and it seems more positive so far. This war and crisis won't last untill no extend, and it's good to hold on to that idea. There is a day after tomorrow for planet earth. But for now, we just have to sit out 2024. Which will be crisis. I'm certain off that. But it will fade off one day, and it won't be here forever. The cliché is when Uranus gets out off Taurus in 2025. Uranus also has been in Taurus during WWII. There are astrological rumors the war in Ukraine will end by then. It's a miracle if it happens before that point. If the economical crisis and the massive inflation will also truly end by then, I don't know. 

In my personal visions, I have seen 2028. Uranus will get to Gemini in 2025. I'm not certain wheter the Ukraine war will stop at the exact date off the transit. Something as brilliant as the bank crisis and Pluto in Capricorn on that exact day we are probably not likely to see again. I don't believe it, to be honest. That was just too brilliant for an astrological transit. But positivity is on it's way in two years. Pluto will transit to Aquarius in January 2024. And Neptune goes to Aries in 2025. Saturn will be permanent in Aries in 2026. 

But coming to think off it, I don't know if it's favorable to have a lot off planets in Aries with a war going on. Since Aries is also a sign off agression, temper and war. It can either be the ending off big negativity, but it can also come with it's own kind off trouble. That's how mankind works. Still, all the positive signs can mean there is finally a better time coming up in the air and the problems will truly stop. But don't be too optimistic and positive all at once. It promises something better, it looks as if there are better times waiting for mankind. And now for real. But I learned not to be too optimistic in astrology and weigh everything to it's own. Some people would believe Capricorn would lead to a better way off mankind handling resources on earth. But that has been a fable. Aquarius can lead to bigger awareness to the greater good, but Aquarius can also be very ignorant. And getting to know people who are an Aquarius, learns they are sensitive. They don't like to crack a joke often. They are easily offended. And I can't call them down to earth. But in a prissy way. Most off the time they seem to count on sheer, dumb luck to make things work. It's not well thought out usually. I can't use them during a war. To be honest. I hope it's prissy enough to make the war end ASAP. To be honest. 

For mankind, it's probably good. But they're a bit straight on sometimes. And they can be simple. Not sophisticated. Simple and a bit too easy. Usually they solve things the easy way. And the computer department? Only when they have money for it! Otherwise, they're cheap. And it's a sign that loves to whine and complain in an annoying way. It's a bit childish. They are social, probably better grounded in social habits than Leo, and they seem to care about the weak compared to the capricorn. But usually, it's not favorable to have them care for you when you do bad. The women are usually short and fat. They are modern off style, though. And the colours are often light. They don't want it 'dark and offensive.' But 'Light and positive.' So mind that in fashion. I don't expect peace all at once. I do expect a fashion change. I don't know a lot about Aquarius psychology. I have been calculating the Capricorn well, but that's because I understood how they think and work. Aquarius is uncommon ground for me. I know them only from a distance. But I had a Capricorn parent, and I'm an old soul. So to understand the rules off Pluto in Capricorn somewhat worked out for me, though it was hard. Aquarius I'm not familiair with. It's a bit wait and see. I'm it's opposite sign. (Leo) It can work out well, it can work out bad. The other generation signs, however, are going to be in my favor in two years. It could be good, for once for me. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

    

   

Good evening at the 24th off December, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was grey, cold and rainy outside. It promises to become a wet Christmas. 

*

It's  Christmas eve, I have been here all day, but mom has been sick in bed all day, and there is a big chance she caught Corona. Not due to me, but due to circumstances, as how she thinks it was. Tomorrow she'll get out off bed again, she promised. But today was not the best day since she got so sick. Short before Christmas, we all got sick. Luckily to have caught Corona recently makes me immune for it now. All I could do was to bring mom a cup off tea. Other than that, she wanted nothing. 

Corona has hit hard on me and my surrounding these months. Luckily nobody died due to it. 

Tomorrow will be Christmas. This evening is to survive. I can deal with it, but it doesn't make the best holiday memory ever. 

Mom is tough. I have the idea she will overcome. But for now, it's doing hard for her and suffering. 

And sometimes, this is all I need to share with you for this evening, and other inspiration has run dry for now. So it's something for later on, hopefully. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.