Good evening at the 25th off August, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was modest weather. Not too hot, not too cold. I think it was just right. 

*

Today was for wrapping gifts. For Christmas. I purchased my family some cute Holland gifts. We're not extreme right-winged, but my mom loves those Holland souvenirs, since I live in this touristic area. 

I wrapped them with paper from the give away closet I found there previous year. But compared to this year, the Christmas gifts are not completely free. I purchased them myself, but I found them affordable for what it was. 

Next Item I wrapped, was my brother's birthday gift. An Octopus mobile, with dangling fish, handmade at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. Combined with a handmade keychain letter T (His capital) it will be his birthday gift this year. Childish? Probably, affordable? Yes. I hope he aproves off it. But we all still got a soft spot for the stuffed animal category. I just don't have a picture. Care staff took a lot off effort making these gift items. They are nice. 

I have quite an original take on wrapping items, I'm totally not good at it. But it's always done with love. It's handmade and heartfelt. I hope he likes it. It's just that it's some time untill October. And some time untill Christmas. So these gifts have to wait in here with me for a while. Luckily they don't spoil. It's not food or drinks. The motivation behind being early with gifts, is that sometimes I see something in a shop and I just 'Got to have it.!!!' Before it's gone, especially for family gifts. Right before it's out or someone else got aways with it. So I also purchased my capital key chains a bit ridiculously in time, just before someone else could 'steal.' them from under my nose. Usually I'm not that sharp. I'm not as sharp as I used to be, or greedy- not at all. I just can't afford being greedy. It's just that this gift-for-family makes me almost fight over a bargain. (Between you and me, these where bargains. But it's all I can afford for for gifts nowadays.) I'm somehow proud to have gifts for Christmas this year to begin with, it promises to be an expensive Holiday season. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 9th off July, 2.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning promises to become sunny. 

*

Recently I purchased the key chain for my youngest brothers' birthday, a capital T, made by the handcraft team at de Boed in Zaandijk. 

I already gift wrapped it, but it's for October. He will also get an octopus mobile, handmade at de Boed. It's a mobile with an octopus on top and fish hanging onto it. It will be pictured, and then I'll also wrap that. Wrapping paper from HEMA's. Party animals, with all kinds off pets with birthday party hats. Shown on the gift is a red cat. The octopus mobile was only 10 euro's. It's cool to be capable to still afford that. I just hope it doesn't do short to him and he likes it. I'm happy I can still afford birthday gifts. To others they may seem impossible these days. Aside to greeting cards. de Boed has them, handmade and 1 euro each only. it's not such a splurge with them. I'm thankfull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 9th off July, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Tonight it's mildly warm and clear outside. 

*

This is a bush of hand made flowers from de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. It's brown flowers. Usually flowers only brown when they're death, but I found these where so pretty, and very cool for their kind. de Boed comes up with very unusual and original flowers, but it's so awesome for them to be capable to make these, and I let all off them make into a bush, combined with some 'green.' 7,50 euro's- an amount you used to pay at an average flower shop for such a bush. I think it will end up at mom's birthday. Mom has her birthday at November, but I got these allready. They're made from bended pipe cleaners in all colours off the rainbow. de Boed is very creative and outstanding with these. I also got her a keychain, a capital Epoxy Raisin B. Made at de Boed, community centre for people from Leviaan in Zaandijk. 2,50 euro's a keychain and it has most capitals. 

  

The keychains are very pretty, but soon in October, my brother has his birthday, and after November, my entire family got one. I usually wrap these keychains. But then I have to find new gifts. 😏 They where acceptable for their price. I wrapped with old wrapping paper I had on stock allready all the time. 

I have the sad news that I'm going to save out on mom's box off chocolates for her birthday. Not very fancy, but I found chocolates too expensive. It's these flowers instead. It's not November yet, but translated from Dutch the proverb says: 'I can already see the rainshower hanging.' (Above a box off chocolates.) So I'm saving it out. I hope she can take it well, she is always so fond off her chocolates. Her chocolates where handmade from a real local chocolate shop. So it became impossibly priced these years. It's fake flowers in the shade off chocolate. I hope she can take that. 

de Boed is a perfect soutce for affordable gifts, especially when economics don't work with, and everything is impossibly priced. Our handcrafted gifts are still budget friendly. And I'm proud it's made perfect by the handcraft team. It's such an outcome for gifts and greeting cards. 1 euro a handmade card, 3,75 euro's for my handmade necklaces, and 1,50 euro's  for a bracelet. I picked up on jewelry making again. I found new materials this week, and the possibility to create earrings. 

    

They wheren't scurvey with the materials this time, and they where proud off what I made off it. These butterfly earrings will be 3,50 euro's a pair. They found them extremely pretty and worthit the big price. The materials where so pretty. I work with their materials, but I don't gain any financial profit out off it myself, except being creatively active at a daycare centre. It's a bit sad. I have barely money to eat this week, but my creativity roars due to their new materials. I can live, but thanks to others. It's a bit off comfort in dark days to be capable to be so nicely creative. It's just a pity people don't buy these. It's actually piling a bit up in our shop. I hope we find costumers for my jewelry. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.         

Good morning at the 19th off April 2026, 2.

 

This is a picture off a bracelet I made recently, it worked out pretty cool. 

And this is what it looks like when they hang your jewelry on a rack in a small store. It's really awesome. 

I also finished this pretty little bracelet, it's for sale at de Boed's shop. All upbring will be for them. 

I just wanted to flaunt a bit with these. My inspiration to make jewelry softly came back. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 2nd off April, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been a changing yet dreary day in The Netherlands. 

*

This week, I made this necklace at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk, The Netherlands. And it will be for sale in their gift shop. I'm a bit more creative lately. At times, I got really inspired. I also designed tulip postcards. Also for sale in their gift shop 

They found my tulips very pretty. It's available to be send for everyone interested. My grandma is the biggest fan, she purchased the entire set. And the previous jewelry set has been sold. It's getting somewhere, people think I make pretty items. Inspiration is sacred. 

Aside from creativity, (With their materials, let's be honest, I could never afford that myself. And I personally don't profit from it, the upbring is entirely for their small gift shop) I'm a bit down in spirit, a bit more unstable and sensitive. I'm happy creativity flows, so it can breathe a little. But it's not easy. This time is not easy. I'm over-thinking and overly sensitive. It can be a bit hyper in my mind. Life is beautifull, but things are insanely painfull, and sometimes I try to figure out mankind, but it usually hurts and I still don't have a clue. Mankind is cruel. Difficult... I wish for a better climate in it, but it feels impossible. I'm so gratefull for Leviaan. They keep me standing while I would break from it otherwise. Leviaan is the care home organisation I live in. It hurts big time, always having people against me, and the world being so cruel. It feels lonesome. Inspiration feels gratefull. Or so to say, I feel gratefull for inspiration. The card set's name is Zaandijk Beltaine, but I think they won't accept, and I did not make it the official name. Tulips at the month off may, with the sun in Taurus and the moon in Scorpio and the Beltaine energy in the air off floral Zaandijk feels magic. Almost given from the gods. The fairies out and the garden off our place being so beautifull, covered in flowers with the cherry blossoms out. It's god given. It looks magical, and it makes me feel gratefull to be alive. People might think it's a bit out off place, ancient magic and typical Dutch floral beauty, but I think it connects perfectly when it's out in the month when it's supposed to blossom. It's spectaculair. Everything else goes backwards and is impossible nowadays, but the gardens bloom lovely. Nature is inspiring, and gives strength. It doesn't withhold answers, sometimes it's what I overthink myself, what comes to me, and it becomes how I personally see things and how I think about things. I'm a bit phillosophicall. It triggers both and makes me come to interesting conclusions at the same time. It might be a little bit strange, weird little me... Overthinking is difficult. To keep a bit off track off life, I like to keep things simple in life. Simple, yet meaningfull... Everything else is already complicated. It's easily a bit too much with everything going on in my head. And it hurts... litterally. I always have headaches from overthinking. It's why I'm in here. Life is difficult to figure out. I wish I could find a clue. But probably, it's impossible, and that's why I'm in here. Due to an over-active mind. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 25th off March, 2026, 2.

 

Good evening everyone, 

*

I handcrafted these myself, a necklace and a bracelet, from random inspiration, just out off nowhere, just the memory off making jewelry, and the inspiration off the materials they had made me do it. It's been ages since I made jewelry. These are for sale at de Boed's shop. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 25th off March, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was changing, mostly rain and grey. 

*

Somewhere in May, I have an aunt celebrating her birthday, she is off old age. I made them make a capital N key chain for her birthday: 

It's made by de Boed's handcraft team. It's the first letter off her name, and I wrapped it: 

It's done with old wrapping paper, and I'm still not good at wrapping, but it's done with love. I'm about to give this with a bush off pink roses. At least, that's the intention. If I'm not fit enough, I will send it by post. Often I feel unstable, so the trip to go there can be quite irresponsible. Still, I wish to go. I haven't been there in years. I hope she appreciates. 

Lately, I haven't got much to mention. Life goes by, I'm still alive. 

Allright, that's about it for now, thank you for reading! 

Good morning at the 19th off March, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's rainy and cloudy outside tonight. 

*

I did not feel like sleeping, I could not catch sleep anymore, and I giftwrapped my brother's birthday present. The crocodile plushie from two posts ago. 

It's not done tidy, but like I said, I'm not good at it, but still it's fun to giftwrap presents and hand them like that. It's a bit unpersonal to just push stuff in someone's hands and claim it's a birthday gift. I think it's better when they're wrapped. It's just that my brother's birthday is actually in June, so I'm early with this. I wish to adjust a handmade capital keychain from de Boed to it. Though I also think they're not manly, so they might not fit for a man. So it's a matter off doubt about it. And maybe I just let it, since I think my brothers won't be charmed off it. 

This country has elections all the time, how are they about to govern the country to begin with when power is elected again and again all the time? I think you can't work out long term plans when the government does not function, and the people off control always end two years before it's going to happen. In the end, nothing is actually done about problems. It's something that's on my mind. It happens all the time in this country lately. It's always elections, and nothing is done about real problems. And meanwhile the people are stuck with it. It's problematic, but it's not solved. Something to think off. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 5th off March, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is a bright morning in spring. 

*

I purchased an Easter gift for my family, and I wrapped it. It's a handmade wooden charm from de Boed, and it's 1,50 euro's only. Coffee service did not take place today, due to lack off staff. Still I fixed them a kettle off coffee and bought their gift. The kettle is for the creativity participation where they handcraft items, that was open. But public coffee time could not take place. 

This is the rabbit charm, it's the back off a rabbit with a tail, and it's green and purple. It's perfect for Easter, next month. 

And this is how I wrapped it, it's kinda messy, but it's cute. It's how I wrap, I'm not good at it, but I still do it this way. It's always straight from the heart. I think the elders bale most from coffee time not taking place. For them it's most difficult, just like for the fellow clients. They always crave those coffee moments. I hope it won't happen again, but there are so many sick people, it's impossible to be certain. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 1st off March, 2026

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning is mild for late winter when it comes to weather. 

*

Yesterday I purchased my oldest brother's birthday present, he's only two years younger than me, and he has his birthday in June. I felt it was a good idea, given it was on a discount, so it was 7 euro's only. Not that I don't value my brother, it's just that during this time and day, I found it acceptable for a birthday gift. I still have birthday wrapping paper on the shelves, so it will be well-ment and straight from the heart. 

It's a fat crocodile dragon plushie. It's very big and stuffy, and I think it's a funny present. Some time ago, I went a bit overboard in my opinion wrapping paper shopping, you could only order four rolls. But now that comes in handy, since I still have it for Mr. crocodile. I'm a bit sober with gifts, a bit frugal in my opinion. But I hope they forgive me that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 16th off February, 2026.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is cold and grey in The Netherlands. 

*

I already set up my Easter Branch, and other Easter decorations, very cute, very deliberate early. I was pretty early with my Easter Branch, it has all kinds off decorations from previous year onto it, and it's in an old vase. 

It's snowing outside at times. It's still February, but we got an early Easter. 

I'm in a phase off over-reactive acting, I'm not myself, I'm hyper-energetic, doing all sorts off things, over-shopping, spending too much money. It's not good for me. I already foresee it's going to go wrong with me one day, and I should take it easy instead. Take it more calmly, simply not over-do things. I'm off minded and I believe I'm delusional. I'm acting weird. I can't sleep well at night, this morning was for 02.00 AM awake, and 05.00 AM showering. It's like that, -Like that. I know more psychiatric patients got this. My head is crowded, too full to read novells or write poetry. I try to cook simple yet healthy receipes to set off my mind, like apple sauce and tomato soup. I do a lot, but it's not much off a set off. It's over-reactive and strange. Like with this, it's hard and close to obsessive. Not preferable. I got a strange tense. I have to take it more easy. Like a stressed chicken. 

I'm already proud I got my Easter decorations on, it's early, but last year I did not do so at all. Out off some sort off grump. Maybe I do feel a bit guilty about that. Luckily the Elders still like what I cook, Often I cook for my friend, the retired zookeeper, he says my food is delicious. The tomato soup got approved off, luckily I'm not so far off I don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen anymore. But cooking every day would be too much to handle. I'm lucky to live in a care home. It's done for me three times a week. And they make delicious foods. Life is tough, but it's manageable. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 16th off February, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's freezing cold with snow on the streets. 

*

It's monsters! It's irresistable, fuzzy, cozy, fluffy green and purple HEMA hug-monsters! 

I purchased them as gifts for my brothers, my brothers are only about two or three years younger than me,  about 30 and 31, so it might seem a bit stange to random strangers why I would do this. But we always have been sorta geeky. So it's not a bad thing to do funny, random stuff like this as gifts. I think these are sooo cute. 💖 Simply to give them away is a good idea. They come from HEMA's, and by the end off the week I will attend to my famiy and I will have some nice gifts for them. 

I have been feeling off these weeks, bad in my skin, delusional, bad sleep, I watch my food, but it's mainly normal food. I feel emotional and gloomy, and I'm often moody and a bit emotional. I keep on having delusions about being followed, It's winter and the snow makes me a bit frightned, about not being into reach for delivery services like PicNic for groceries. Fear is a deep emotion in me, we're kinda stuck in here when it snows. I have been up ever since 02.00 AM, I just showered, I could not catch sleep anymore. Worrying sucks. It shows on my skin. I'm growing old.... Time stands still and passes by, nothing moves with. I'm just growing old. I maintain to look young, but I feel older than I am. On the inside, I feel as old as the mountains, while on the outsde, I'm as young as a breeze. I should maintain youth on my face. It's a waste to look too old on my face. I like the idea off myself as an ageless vampire. Somewhere around 26, I stopped ageing and  I still look stunning. It's perfect.. It's not to complain about, you'd mistake me for a 26 year old if you'd see me. I'm proud I maintained such good health, I would like to stay that way, really pricking out eyes off people my age with this stunt. They live so unhealthy... I would be karma to their face if they'd see me, all young and pretty while passing by. It would be perfect. I may sound like a bitch, but I'd think that would be so funny. If I would maintain good sleep, and be certain medication grants me long live and vitality. If you want to know, I do all these things most people don't do volunteerly and usually dislike or hate. Like eating as good as all vegetables and fruits, little snacking, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no make-up, no sugar in coffee or tea, no high-processed drinks, those sort off things. It's just that I'm medical obese, but with bloodtest results to be proud off. And I adjusted the gym every once a week to it. I feel proud off living healthy. It's just mental issues, being mental a bit moody and bad in skin. And offcourse, that impossible plus-size. I hope the gym will work against it.                                                                                                                                                             

Allright,   

That's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 10th off February, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was grey and gloomy in general. 

*

Not much off a man in sight... No one really watches.... it's always been the same... But hence, this year my mom will be my Valentine. I purchased a handmade gift from de Boed for her, I haven't visited in a long time, and soon I'm about to visit. 

This cute heart was handmade by the handcraft team at de Boed, a small community centre in The Netherlands, specialized in psychiatric patients. It's small, it was 1,50 euro's only, but it's heartfelt. I think it's one off the best items in it's price class. 

I wrapped it with wrapping paper from my storage room. It's been in there for quite long. And offcourse it's a mess, since I'm bad at wrapping, but it's always done with love. and hence, I did not even have heart- themed or valentine themed wrapping paper. But maybe for a mom, this is suitable. I think mom will like it, (or heart it😉)  De Boed's gift shop is perfect for a small budget. It's Iet Petite's Valentines day. But I got a small, deep brown suspicion it's appreciated. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 29th off January, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cold and cloudy outside. 

*

I'm Hekate's apprentice, She knew what to do with me, Love and motherhood godesses are a diffrent kind. I'm not like most women, I'm diffrent, I have been following a dark path and got many scars. I'm not much off a love goddess. I would call upon Venus, and it feels like I have to get to know it a bit better. It's not like it's easy with me. 

When it's Valentine's day, I rather would work in the kitchen to set my mind off off things, and make world's best creamy mustard soup, quark taarten or perfect cookies, and not feel it that much. When you work, you do not feel it so much. It's not a big deal to work a kitchen for 28 people, create magic with food or enchant the crowd at fantasy events, but to have a boyfriend? Oh, help- That's not my department. I'm stupid when it comes to that. I'm NOT easy. 

It's always been my wish to bake my love a batch off Valentine's cookies. I have been over-posting an image off home made love cookies around some time, but it never came to it. 'De liefde van de man gaat door de maag.' Like they say, Or at least the lonely hearts club at de Boed has a treat. I'm desperately stupid when it comes to seduction. Not that I'm unatractive- I have rumors on my ass that I'm too ugly for love, but let's be honest, it just never worked a certain way. Pluto in Capricorn era made me work my ass off for a certain standard off wealth. I still don't look like a Venus' follower. I barely do make-up, I'm wretched and sarcastic. Recently Hekate found a way to show me she was my protection godess, with dreams and insights. I rather believe in natural beauty, and keeping your skin healthy and your face naturally pretty. But it's not the standards. I'm a magician rather than a lover. I feel so strange sometimes when it comes to love. I'm not a talent for it. But it ain't so bad, I did not waste my life. I dedicated it to working on myself, exploring my talents and developing a set off skills that came in very handy. It's NOT wasted on self-pity, doubt and sadness. I'm just not fit as a lover. I believe in things we can controll rather than love. -MEN, forget about it,- but the world is saved!  Something along those lines. It's not too bad being a spinster, truly, I can live. I would not enlower myself for lust or love, and I don't take bad sides or standards for an answer. I respect myself enough for that. It's fun being still single as a pagan, we do what people should do instead off mocking. But yes, Hekate knows what to do with me, Venus is a diffrent story. I still don't feel completely at ease when calling upon her. I just don't know what to serve the Lonely Heartsclub this year. Last year it was Mr. Ed's potato cake. Delicious for what it was. But sugar bakings are not allowed anymore. And we don't do soup for lunch anymore. It's a bit dry this year. It's a bit baling. Something delicious to heal our lonely hearts. Most people at de Boed don't have someone in their lives. But a treat would make it less sour. This year they don't even have valentine's cookies from store with our coffee. It's just fruit they allow. It's the health and sugar policy. Maybe I should adapt to it, since baking has become expensive, as forbidden as love between a jew and a muslim at de Boed, and looked upon ungratefull. It's like Forbidden Love. It's impossible to make it happen. 

But I'm thinking about what to do that day instead off being sour. How to keep my head up without a treat. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.      

Good evening at the 28th off January, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

*

I will hereby confirm I will attend at the Faun concert at the Amsterdam Forest upcoming 24th off July, Yes, I will be there. At Faun. It looked too tempting, and sometimes I got voices off Niel Mitra and Oliver Sa Tyr inviting me personally there. I obeyed, so I ordered a ticket, and I will be there. I was doing the dishes at de Boed, like always, and it was as if Niel Mitra popped up to invite me personally to the concert, and then, the next day at dinner in my own home, Oliver Sa Tyr asked me to come. It started talking to me, so I purchased a ticket. Yes, I will go somewhere for the first time in such a long time. 

A question, what would you do if you got your heart broken by a captain from a ship, and you so would not know what to do with yourself afterwards? Given things have already been on since school, but by then no one was allowed to know. It's a memory from some time ago, I started talking to him on Facebook, but he rejected. While I found myself pretty brave for confessing. It's been painfull, and I'm so stupid in getting over with things. I overtalked it with mental health care staff. It worked to get rid off painfull edges. I could have picked one off my friends, that would have made me much easier, but I found that guy a bit more interesting and sexy. But I'm stupid for the way I have done it. I have been overthinking him a lot, overthinking, like, I think we got more in common than you realise, but I never had the chance to open up about who I really am. It's been a phillosophicall matter over a love matter almost, just, discussing subjects, politics, style, music, why are you not religious? And you are sooo handsome, why aren't we a thing? But that's for not being honest  about being pagan at school. Things got so complicated, but seem so impossible now. He pops up in my mind sometimes, and sometimes I think I have a 'green man.' with his image after me, seeing him in other people. It's lightly annoying but it follows me while it got shut down. Open up and talk about myself has never been possible. I got delusional about the matter, it's annoying. But that's what I do- when things go wrong, it keeps on spinning in my mind. And I'm an overthinker. I don't really know his personality, it just seems pretty lame by now. I have been hiding myself ever since forever at school, and started to open up and transform into a better person during the years afterward. I just soo wish I could tell him. But I think I might get accused of stalking when I try again. 'I'm not desperate, but you are on my mind. I think I got a soft spot for you, you are inspiring.' It's more personal and important than just a flirt. The Green Man doesn't make it easy. 

Today I got a bit air from the subject, and I started to paint tulips at participation, instead off hazes off waterpaint, trying to get to a certain point. And my tulips will be sold on cards, at de Boed's shop. I got a total hit with it. Maybe from talking about it with care staff, and a cleared mind about the past. I got a breakthrough, and miracles did happen as we speak. I'm going to be printed on postcards. My past does not hurt so much anymore. I got air, and I draw flowers. Zaandijk Beltaine. Spring in Zaandijk lends itself perfectly for Beltaine with all it's beautifull flowers. Dutch tulips, daffodils and blossoms are perfect for it. I got a small park, being in total bloom during the may month, when the sun is in Taurus and the full moon is in Scorpio, and it was inspiring for this art project, it was almost as if there was magic in the air here. If it's a set, It's name should be 'Zaandijk Beltaine.' But I think I should tame it a little bit down for the common audience. So it's better off as 'Tulips.' I felt like a little Zaandijk Benzaiten (The Japanese godess off beauty, inspiration and art.) When creating them. There was totally magic in the air when painting them. They will be printed and sold for 1 euro's each in our shop. 'Get usefull!' 'Word zinnig!' Well, today I totally was. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 4th off January, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is for snowstorms in The Netherlands. 

*

Sometimes, something stares at you and you gotta have it, or elsewise you just know it will be gone. I got that with a present for my family, it was short before Christmas, and I felt Christmas wasn't the time for it, it looked more like a Spring time present, so I shove it to Mother's day. It's a hand clayed and painted serving tray with ducklings. 

It looked so cute, and I found it reasonably priced for a gift. It was so cute... and if something stares at me like this, it's for the fam. I wrapped it, and to tease mom, I send a message with it, but she doesn't read this weblog. 

I got very bad wrapping skills, but still- it's 'creatively' wrapped. The wrapping paper was just a bit old, from the storage room. But still fit for the job. I also wrapped grandma's capital G keychain 

Did I already mention I got bad wrapping skills? I just hope they like these. Hand-made and well ment by de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. Grandma's birthday is at the end off this month. For Mother's day, I'm a bit too in time, but it's in time. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 3th off January, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Wet snow is falling outside the window. It's still dark. 

*

I'm out off coffee. That shall teach me to hamster. I have been hamstering an amount a few years ago- but it was all spoiled and it ended thrown away during a time where coffee is something to win a prize for. I think it would be totally acceptable if people would do house games and one off the prices is a pack off Douwe Egberts coffee. Expensive as it is. 

It's 02.30 midnight, I can't sleep that well. I watched a movie last night, and even over something simple as Love Actually, my mind is over-acting and prickly. I barely watch movies, but it's a pitch dark winter, so I'm going to. Maybe I should get used to movies instead off acting so whimpish. It's healthy to take media in. It's unhealthy to be an austrich. But it's a bit off a challenge for a mental patient. Today is a free Saturday, so I got all the time to watch Netflix. Though I should not over-do it. But still, if I wish to stay ahead, I should watch all the classics. I have started to watch classic romantic comedies. From the era where actresses where actually a tad too perfect. I totally see why women did have such a low self-esteem in the days. But still, nothing but therapy from a romantic comedy to soothe the mind. 

But each to their own, I'm a bit mentally prickled from actually doing something aside from watching the news. Usually, if I can set myself to it at all, I watch the evening news, and otherwise the TV is out. Often it's all I can take. The news is not recommended, but I do watch, to be informed about what happens in the world, and about what they want you to know. It informs about governmental cuts and the duration off wars. So I can make a mental sketch off whether it's gonna cost and what is gonna cost. It's one reason to watch the news. Bad harvests and war make groceries more expensive. It's interesting enough to keep me watching, if I can. Usually my mind is too full to take media in. But it's important enough to tune in at times. If something doesn't want you to watch the news, you should not trust it. My intuition tells me I should watch every now and then. Like, it was on the news energy prices are increasing- it's important to know. Especially during wartime, the people should stay informed. The situation is desperate, and the news gives more off an insight. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

Good morning at the 22th off December, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a cold and dark morning in The Netherlands. 

*

I worry a lot, I shouldn't, but it happens. I worry about starving fellow clients who eat bad, and about my mom who cooks cheap and unhealthy. I should not mention everything, that can be shamefull for them, but I worry about their health. It's on the poor side in my part off the world. I myself eat healthy, but I'm also hungry often, from eating moderate. More moderate than what it used to. If I eat in moderation, fruit, vegetables, brown bread and healthy meals are still possible. Just like tea and milk. So I can feed myself. It's the holiday month, so I have a little extra with my coffee or tea when people are generous, but usually I don't. And If I have it's picture worthit. I get by, but I worry about others. If they can pass healthy. I decided I want to eat healthy during this crisis, despite everything being expensive. I save on other things. I'm sober with stuff, I don't even buy books anymore. There was a time when I spend money on novells aside to food. And it's not due to lack off money I saved on them, it's due to lack off motivation to read I don't buy those anymore. I had a thing for Japanese literature, usually containing cats. It's a bit basic how I live. But if times are expensive and uncertain, that's how we do. Still, at the moment I'm reading one off them, I have been hoarding quite a few. And there's still Japanese books I wish to read, despite the fog in my head. I got quite a pile. So it's not completely dry how I live. At the moment I read this book: 

 It does not has an English translation, sometimes Japanese books are only translated in Dutch. It's really feelgood. But I haven't added a new book to the 'to read' pile in a while. Still, it's piling. But that's the only thing my money went to this year. Healthy foods, and books. I have been behaving so poor, it's almost unbearable if I was an ordinairy person, but I had to tolerate poverty ever since early youth. It's been a bit harsh, but not undoable. I have been poor ever since I was 16. What can I say? Unemployed and mentally ill. Strange enough, I can cope with this crisis. 

But I should shove this weblog back on topic: I worry. Other people are not me, and I wonder how families are to be fed if this continues. One day, this will end. I'm certain. One day in the future, it's done with poverty on food and we can sigh in relief. I'm kinda certain about it, but it's difficult. The next year, will still be extreme. I'm doing hard from it. I can feel so guilty when someone is doing worse than I do. But I keep on continueing my standard, I still got to eat. I have to feed on healthy foods. I can't ditch it in my opinion because someone has low standards. They would not for me, so why would I for them? 

Last thing I wish to share, a picture off my dessert from last night: 

 

It's been low fat peach fruit yoghurt with fruit salad on top. It's been delicious, yes, I still eat dessert. I prefer healthy dessert, but I still eat it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 15th off December, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's dreary and cold outside in The Netherlands today. 

*

I have won a christmas gift for my mom at bingo some time ago, and I found a roll off free christmas wrapping paper in the give away closet, donated for free. I wrapped the gift, and now it looks fancy 

I also have a small box off chocolates for the family, which was the headprice, since it came from a real chocolate shop with handmade chocolates done by chocolate professionals. I took a cheaper amount than usuall, since I'm not that rich I can afford the 'biggest box for mom, please.' For this year. But still, it's Christmas chocolates. And they're for the family this year, combined with this so I have Christmas presents for Christmas 2025. Evil as it is. Expensive as it was. But I still got presents 😊

And I think today is for sending Christmas cards. 💖 It's the only thing I went overboard with this year, but I have few people to send them to, so I thought a fancy Hallmark box was acceptable. And yes, I still do Christmas cards. I'm still a bit old fashioned. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 14th off December, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Outside it's stormy, grey and windy. It's kinda moody. 

*

Sometimes, there isn't much to say, I feel satisfied after cooking and eating traybake, and a dessert. The evening wasn't too bad so far, and I took pictures. I'm always proud my traybake ends up looking so festive. And my plates make it pretty. Just like my dessert, somewhat festive, and so pretty in a fancy bowl. It's all I can do to fight the gloom. I'm fighting negativity with cooking. And to me, it works. Good foods and a nice presentation do the job. 💖 My kitchen is simple, yet healthy. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 😉