Good afternoon at the 11th off August, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's sunny and hot in The Netherlands, and it's said to be a tropical heathwave 

*

Today was for baking a plum pie. With plums / prunes from a care taker's garden. I think it looks quite nice. 

It's done with cinnamon, kardamom, vanillin sugar and star anise. It's going to be served at Wednesday, when that care taker works. I made this today, since tomorrow the weather will be too hot for baking. It's done with cream butter, sugar and real eggs. It's as old fashioned and traditional as can be. It's supposed to be delicious. I even purchased an old fashioned can off whipped cream with it. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good afternoon at the 30th off June, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is a bright and hot day in The Netherlands. 

*

Today is for staying in during afternoon, in the morning I had coffee at de Boed, community centre focused on people with a mental handicap in old Zaandijk, the Netherlands. 

But this afternoon is for staying in behind the van with a pilch off water with my obesity and my pale skin. I can't withstand summer heath. On days like this it's a blessing not to have a job. Did you know that hot sun beams can increase mental problems? When it's scorching your scalp, it can worsen. It usually does with me. I don't withstand heath well. So I have to stay in on days like these. 

I'm in with a sore throat. I sneeze and cough and it hurts. I think it's due to changing weather all the time. And sleeping with windows open without a blanket one night. It started that morning. They say I have to drink a lot. I tried sage tea against it. 

People say my tray cake is better than HEMA tray cake, I checked their tray cake, they call it a strawberry vanilla sponge cake. So if I want to be better than them, I need expensive strawberries. And 'vanilla.' Whatever that means, in baking it can mean a lot. From extract to actuall vanilla bean. And theirs is probably from scratch. I think I leave it due to expensive ingredients. If HEMA's had apple- raisin, I would be better. But a restaurant wants it fancy, offcourse. And spongy. So I won't take the challenge. 

I have a lot off food on my bucket list. What to think off summer berry cake, with actuall berries from someone's garden? But I don't know someone with berry bushes. The bouquet on top would probably only take place that way in this time and era, donated and free. But it's like being a celebrity demanding free goods 'because they're good at it.' When I would ask someone. Or expecting them to do so out off nowhere. I don't know someone with a garden. I don't have that luck. I mean something like this 

Zomertaart met rood fruit

Koopmans fruittaart

I already get a lot off items and baking mixes for free from friends. Free berries are a diffrent stage. Sometimes gardeners have them left, but something tells me I won't find it. But it's an example. Wat would be more off a pretty sight than a cake or a tart, with a layer off cream, with a summer fruit bouquet on top? And you can say 'It's all fresh from the garden.' It's so fancy, and you haven't spend a penny too much on it. Or does thinking it like this make me a bit frumpy?   

Spontaneous ideas pop up in my mind. Fruit tart is a classic. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 14th off June, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was muddy, grey and warm in The Netherlands. Really the edge off a swamp. 

*

Today was for baking a tray cake, taste chocolate - cherry, from jar. I haven't been around begging for ingredients this week, I purchased all except the eggs. I got them for free from a rich friend. I made it to honour Father's day. my dad passed away in 2012, and most fellow clients don't have a father anymore. They're old folks. But in honour to father's energy, I felt like baking. It came out perfectly. 

They already think I'm better than HEMA's when it comes to the apple one. I hope they like this one just as good or better.  Maybe people can use a little mood enhancer at Father's day, given it's a bit sensitive. I made this without following the instructions on the back, I rather felt like baking it like a pro instead off dumping everything in all at once. I did so by creaming butter, then eggs one by one, then the cake mix and the milk in stages, ended with the milk. You get more off a volume in cakes if you do so. I hope they will make something out off the way they serve this tomorrow. I will picture it. I hope it's picture worthit. I hope it's not too dense. Or sticky. That's a bit the trick with chocolate cherry tray cake during summer heath. I hope people will like it. 

Edit: 

This is what it looked like on our pastry plates, and they kept complimenting me on it. I love it. it's one off my favourite tastes now. It's delicious. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 7th off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and bright summer weather. I've read it has been raining in the Sahara desert. And flowers are blooming. Someone should film that. 

*

I would like to share with you again peace will officially be in Ukraine in 2028. And unofficially in 2026, when Russia gets tired off fighting, but won't officially sign peace. It's a long sit, if you have a moment...  And it barely depends on planetairy transits. Just like the economically crisis, I'm sorry for those off you who would like to believe otherwise. Uranus from Taurus to Gemini, Saturn and Neptune from Pisces to Aries, but it doesn't truly depend on that.  

It's stressive, especially for those who suffer from it. If you have strong guts and a big wallet, you can do it. All the others probably have to take and accept a lot. It's what I got 'whispered in.' But I'm not the sanest person out there, it could be wrong. But we'll see after that. It's the same story I hang to the internet for a while. I hope I won't go down in history as a charlatan. But we have to take a lot if it's true. 

And I prepared a cake. The cake box and the eggs where donated by a rich woman who lives nearby, and who does small donations to us sometimes. The eggs are from her own chicken.

It came out nicely, and we have a nice slice off cake on Sunday afternoon with our fresh coffee. They think my cake looks perfect.  

I'm not that fine, it's too humid and dense when it comes to weather, yesterday was for thunderstorms, perfect to clear the air. But it's still nauseas, It's awfull for me. 

I expect the Russia-Ukraine war to be the only war on the European continent for this entire century. It's the only conflict we're going to have. It's the only one for an entire century, but we have to sit it out. I also expect prices to increase. Even more than what they have done. Untill it's a totall off 21% for this entire crisis. I should mind my own business, or go crazy, probably. But maybe I just wish to warn you. Expect a long and expensive sit. Don't think too lightly about it. And use your common sense. And probably no big plans in the short term. It's just too expensive for most. 

My system is full with summer heath. I wish it would cool down sooner. I don't like summer. And everything seems like it's too much to take. It's a bit annoying. Let's end this post here. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 28th off August, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is promising to become a hot summer day, with temperatures I find hard to bear. 

*

I prepared for it by 

1. shaving my leggs, and to have let done a pedicure. I have lady-like feet today. Very preferable during summer heat, and it's fresh. 

2. cleaning the toilet, be certain to tame down harches off badteria. 

3. throwing the thrash out, and be certain the kitchen and the floor are clean, which helps in preventing bacteria. 

4. being washed, and be sure I can be washed this evening. To shower and stay fresh is important! 

5. preparing a meal ahead, I don't want to be in the kitchen all day and feeling it because off summer heath.  

6. Opening the windows and the door off this flat wide spread so fresh air can blow through before closing and putting on my van. It's a good idea to air your place  in the morning before summer heath starts. It's cooler in the morning, and the place can chill down a bit before the heath starts. 

7. I put on a summer dress and flipflops. Being someone who was raised near a beach area, I like to wear flipflops in summer. Also when there's no beach near. 

8. I'm sure to have a pitcher off water steady so I can drink all day. Which I do. It's important to drink well all day when it's hot. 

9. Be certain to have something hearty on hand, like a salty snack, when you sweat a lot and you drank water all day, to re-fill your salt level. A cup off vegetable broth can also do the trick. Make sure it's hearthy and salty if you feel faint from heath. 

It's easy, take a mug, put a cube off vegetable broth in, pour over hot water from a water boiler and stir untill the cube is resolved. There you got your magic potion against feeling faint in summer heath!  

10. I prefer to stay inside all day, with my van on and the sunscreen down. No business outside for me on days like this! I can't withstand the temperatures. 

11.  I got zero calorie crystal clear lemon taste in the fridge when I want to drink something else than water. It has no calories, it tastes well and it's sparkly and refreshes. The perfect drink for a hot day! On the other hand, it's good not to get in heavy sodas like coke or orange soda, but zero calorie crystal clear is perfect. 

12. Be sure to have a van on hand. And let it blow and cool the room you spend your day in! Vans and air conditioning are important. 

13. Don't eat heavy stuff, or stuff which can cause infections like suspicious meat. It's best to stay away from that entirely on too hot days. It's best to eat light meals with well-prepared, quality meat. And be carefull with overly sugared drinks. Anything that can cause sickness and vomiting, actually, is a no-go. 

These are my tips to get through summer heath a bit fresh and healthy. Stay fresh and you'll get by well.   

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 9th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy and acceptable when it comes to temperature. 

*

I came to the conclusion that my favourite by Elvis Presley is 'Burning love.' I love the intensity off that song. 

I'm kinda tired and somewhat inspirationless. Coffee serving goes well, I'm doing somewhat well, Mercury is retrogtade, - It's probably that with this weblog today. Mercury, planet off comunication, is retrograde this month, and we all suffer from that, if we're not carefull. But I haven't been blogging much in a while. 

I can't think off much off a subject, except for feeling proud I'm still washed and clean during a crisis, and the feeling off being physically clean is sooo good. I might not look attractive, but I feel I can reject men for not being washed or as clean as me. This  crisis makes it hard for them to stay hygienic, but I don't do hard with it, due to my storage room, so I feel I can set that standard. Sweaty, bad-breathed dirtbags are not for me, no matter how hot they are. 

Today was for coffeeing at de Boed with fellow clients, I feel they do worse than usuall. But I'm not allowed to talk about their issues. Still, somehow they come off as heavy cases these days. Aside to neighbours becoming truly old and issued. 

Really, when I feel I want to mirror myself to 'common women.' I look at care takers my age. What they look like, what's common for young women around their 30's. Fellow inhabitants off this place are too old or too sick. But actually I mirror to older women. Around their 50's or 60's, since I think they dress more colourfull and more happy. I wear more bold colours than my generation. And more their every day style. I look kinda old, but I feel better when I look a little more irreligiously cheerfull. For a millenial, it's almost irreligious to wear bold colours in a happy style. But I never felt like my generation. I barely fit in with them. But it's not the blacks, it's the colours I prefer. 

It's going to be a hot weekend, and a tropical Monday. I called off all my appointments, and decided to stay in that day. I can't stand heath. And really, I already decided my next birthday cake will be a home made syrup waffle cheesecake, with caramel sauce. It's litterally almost a year away, as if you decide 4 days after Christmas what to prepare next Christmas for dinner. But it's something diffrent than my MonChou cake.  

Big challenge this weekend: To stay alive, and to stay fresh. Nothing is as hard as a tropical day for me. I hope Elvis is going to save the day that day. 

Allright, that's about it for now, 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 7th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today has been too bright, and too sunny for my liking. 

*

The situation in the world makes cranky. I don't seem to be capable to withstand, but it's not only the world that drives me mad. 

I'm a bit out off my mind. And I have the idea, people might think predicting the war's end is a little distastefull later on. As if we can't look worse later on. Tasteless, and vulgair, and everything I shouldn't do. Except if I was crystal clear certain. So I quit predicting the future in public. 

That's how I feel these days: Fed up, from summer heath. The situation in the world, and so on. I'm not really realistic, I also got voices and delusions out off fear. I wish there was a remedy to keep my dignity and my calmth. It can be over soon, it can take a while. I felt up to the ceiling from anger before. I have no clue how I got rid off it back then. It was after a heartbreak. I had to sit on my hands not to act out off anger. 

But here we are, nobody got killed. Maybe I feel better when Summer's done, and temperatures are back to normal. I don't do well in summer heath. Life could be harder, life could be easier. Next week, it's leaping up to 31 degrees celsius in this place. I don't like. 

A positive point about this day, was my youngest brother coming to visit for my birthday, because he had to work this weekend. So I could display my dishware again on an ordinairy Wednesday, and share a pastry on a weekday. 

I love it to feel fancy with these, and do coffee or tea with people. My youngest brother is a straight, geeky  man, he couldn't feel less at ease with it than he did, but I love it. He loved the pastry, though. 

I don't have the occasion often to have people over for coffee and a pastry on my nice dishware. Birthdays really are one off the rare times I got it. 

I'm playing Elvis Presley at the moment. It's the best music for hot days in my opinion somehow, and I can't explain to you why I think so. Elvis hits the nail during hot summer days for me. It's not a hit, he's not in the news, he's just one off the best during summer. And it cheers me up. I feel a little less somber and fed up when playing Elvis. Maybe Elvis understands my loneliness. I don't know. It's just very good. 

It helps me to withstand summer heath. So, Elvis and having coffee with my brother today. 

I don't have much to say about Mark's canary for this year. The 2024 wickerbeast was just a powerfull one, and I hope they know what they're doing. It's not to play with. It's actually a 'death corvus!!!!' 'Don't you mess with it!!!' But I keep on pointing at it as 'Mark's canary.' I don't know if I can survive their disaproval off my degradating, but it's uncle Mark's canary. ('Mark z'n kanarie') There's nothing dangerous about that thing. I have no points against it. 

And it helps me to laugh to relativate the Castlefest 2024 canary. 

I would like to end this weblog with the modern classic 'A little less conversation.' Elvis remix by Junkie XL, a 2002 hit. And still a cool one. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 20th off July, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is a warm day in the Netherlands, it's not much to my liking, I'm not good at standing heath. 

*

I'm not doing bad, I can cope with my crush on mister Ed, the pagan hunk. I can withstand it and mentally I don't flip over it anymore. It's so hard to withstand crushes and lust when you're mental. To the point where mental health comes first and you have to let them go if you're sane enough to understand that. But I can handle it. Though it was hard. 

I popped the laundry in the machine, and now it's in the dryer. I had coffee this morning, and I polished my nails fuchsia. It's a hot, lazy Saturday morning. I'm taking it easy, I should drink more water. It's recommended to drink plenty off water when it's this hot. I'm typing this while my nails dry. I mentioned nailpolish dries easy when I type weblogs, and I got 'something on hand.' when it's drying. I haven't typed in ages, so it feels. But maybe there was little to write about. Just life, plain and easy every day life. 

I cope with the crisis a bit easier since my caretaker said: 'We're in it for some time now, people learn to deal with it. It's not so hard.' It took tension off my shoulder. It's a sane thing to say. She said people are used to it, and have learned to cope. Learned to deal with this economic crisis, instead off being in missery. It does good to my tensions about it. I felt such pity with them. It's good for my stress to realise people 'can do it.' So to say. 

It's what I mention, people can deal with it. And it doesn't seem too hard for them. But maybe that's me and this surrounding. This place is as poor as the streetbricks, but when they say they can cope, it's not too bad for now. Still I hope we will get out off it soon. And people aren't too troubled by it. Still, but really- it's stressive. Especially for a sensitive soul like me. 

Personally, I think to eat fresh vegetables and to be clean with A-brands counts as my personal biggest luxury off these days. Fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, good home-cooked foods, and for today- clean laundry. And fresh A-brand coffee in the morning. I think I should be gratefull for these. And offcourse, Thursday swimming each week. It's on summer retraite, but the first week off September, it starts again. I love to swim. And I love vergetables. I eat plenty off them. 

Maybe all my generation peers from this place can brag about is too have eaten fresh vegetables in their youth, during the crisis. Being 'such snobs.' Because the cucumber, the paprika and the carrots where perfectly fresh. But that's all we can do. All the other luxury simply wasn't there, or for us. Poor as the streetbricks as most off us are. We can't even go on summer vacation. And we usually wear too little make-up and expensive clothes to be snobs about it. 'But the vegetables? Perfect!' But then you're a real poor Zaanstad snob. And no, they don't come from the market anymore, but the supermarket in my case. Fresh fruits and vegetables and perfect home cooking with them is my pride. It's 'important.' for someone with my poor social status. As far as I have one. I think it's as low as the streetbricks, but to cook propper meals with fresh supermarket vegetables is our pride. 

Today is for trying to get in enough water, and keeping calm during this heath. My nailpolish has dried, and it's almost luxury I used top coat on top off it. Essence, but what else? Fuchsia pink statement nails! But I'm not certain if fuchsia was just a trend, or an actuall statement colour. But I think it works for summer, or for a very feminin Christmas look, somewhere in a luxurious time. But let's not start about Christmas yet! We're dealing with summer! Still, fuchsia pink, and it's almost joyous. Almost scandalous if I wasn't to think it's 'statement.' for these times. 

I would like to see perfect research on these times when it's all done. in as much fields as possible. We lack so much information, we're almost blind during crisis and war-time. It's pretty dangerous and lame. But maybe it can only be answered afterwards. Still, I got questions I want them to answer. Research on marks and poverty causes by the crisis, what people suffered on, I want them to do those researches, and causes to the crisis I want them to research. I want this to become more open and clear. It should be done over and over again, maybe in times with a brighter look on these times. What where they up to? I wish for it to become clear. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

    

Good evening at the 27th off June, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today has been bright and sunny. And over 25 degrees celsius. Not much off a weather for me. 

*

I wonder if people dress and groom more tidy when they still live at their parents'. A lot off people my age and older still live in their parental home in the Netherlands due to the home crisis, this country lacks homes for starters. I have been wondering if people look more groomed to their parents' demands. I myself can slack and be ugly as I please, at home mom wasn't fond off it. Not that I look untamed or bad, I try to do well up to a basic, and I got that managed for now. But people at their parental homes might have to behave a little better when it comes to that. 

Today I'm a bit better than the 'Adult pagan male gaze.' (To a point where he would not be ashamed to be seen with me in public.) mode. I wore a berry shade summer dress, and I had my toe nails polished a bright fuchsia in black flipflops, and shaved leggs. Tip-top for a summer day. I could even flaunt with my toenails to a fellow client during coffee service. I don't lazily slack it anymore. But it's up to a basic for a female at this point. It's not pagan colours, but fancy nice female colours. I got complimented over it all the time. They liked my dress. And my coffee service was good as usuall. 

But things I wonder about. Just like the quetion what the economic crisis actually contains for most people, and what they actually do bad with. It's a bit vague since I think most people do well. Maybe that's due to this being a rich country. Most people don't look as ratchet as the images with the bad hair on Pinterest, and they're fed and well-dressed. They wear make-up and their hair looks good. It might be a little less splendorous than a few years ago, but I think we manage. So it's not that clear where the problems lay. We have to take it sober, it's not a celebration, but I think most working people get by well enough. They say they have to think twice over a spending, and less vacations, and use their minds, but maybe this country is too rich to let itself being knot by this crisis. The real problems don't show up here. I consider 'less luxurious make-up' not as a real problem. Just like the over-dose off jeans jackets and the basic 00's clothes. We're dressed well enough in my opinion. And so to say, I never liked all that 10's make-up to begin with. Maybe I'm a bit naive, or just lucky. I'm not in my 30's without a home, or financialy to the ground, or bankrupt. But I don't mention too big trouble when it comes to an economic crisis. Maybe they should do more research to the actuall problems. But maybe that's just me. What I do mention: Less luxurious bakings, no fancy cookbooks, and I'm lucky to be your typicall old fashioned sober Dutch woman, otherwise I would have mentioned. If you don't blindly follow trends and use your mind, it's doable. But maybe I'm too simple and too easy with it. I never digged into luxurious make-up or fancy fashion trends to begin with. 

But do parental home dwellers have to adapt to their parents' will when it comes to grooming? If I would have stayed this fat at home, mom would have hated me for it, just like the make-up. And some time back at depression point was just not possible there without their annoyance. I think people have to adapt more at their parental homes. 

Something in me thinks we're not over with it yet. So we have to over-think it all a little more. Maybe I'm too easy with it. Or even blind. But it's not too hard for me. I think one off the first things after this crisis, is splendorous layers off make-up back in fashion. Just like how most women love it. But I think, and maybe I'm a bit harsh, now's the time for real beauty to proove itself. Sometimes, real beauty simply is and can withstand a trend like this. Just too bad for the actually ugly faces. But that's how it is. We could try to accept ourselves for who we are more. And learn to love our faces, including beauty and flaws in an era that's less drag-queen like. It's more to my personal liking. We are what we are without pretence. I think it's soo much better to be honest. But maybe I'm cheering a bit too early. Some women simply swear by make-up. And a crisis won't teach them off. But I learned a long time ago 'we are what we are.' As long as we're truly clean and basically groomed. Simply plucked eyebrows, a shaven body, clean skin and tidy nails. And clean cut hair. It's as hard and as simple as that for a female human being. I'm a fan off hairdye if you need it, but I myself prefer not to get too harsh on myself. (I do dye, though.) Make-up is NOT important. We are what we are. There's nothing wrong with nice make-up, I like to flaunt with fancy toenails, too, but it's preferable not to get too obscene or insane with it in my opinion. 

Maybe it's from a poor psychiatric patient's point off vieuw people don't seem to do bad. And I cheer for less make-up, and I wonder how people my age have to do at their parental homes when it comes to grooming. Other than that, this wasn't such a bad day. I had the luck to swim after coffee service. It's great to swim on a hot day. 💖 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

     

   

Good evening at the 1st off May, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was warm and sunny in the Netherlands for a day in May. 

*

Today, my hobby went a direction with my creativity. I had yoghurt and time on hands, and though I promised not to do so, I baked. I prepared a natural quark cake from package in a Nordic Ware loaf pan. 

In the 75th anniversary loaf pan, that one I got on a discount with points, some time ago before the Ukraine war. My creativity went on with it, and it came out perfectly. Though it's plain quark cake without raisins or other adjustments. They had the luck I had 200 grams off plain yoghurt left, and some fresh eggs. And offcourse, that Nordic Ware loaf pan, ordinairy mortals are not likely to purchase during this crisis. It's darn expensive. 

It's a bit against my principles, but I haven't kept to them today. It's just that my creativity got me, and wanted that loaf pan, on that pretty cake plate. It's perfect for Beltaine tomorrow. Sometimes it calls to be celebrated. Though I haven't prepared an altair for it, it's just that it sometimes creeps up in me and it wants to be celebrated somehow. I think this is done with left overs and it's nothing too fancy, it's all been skills and just 'what I had on the shelves.' But there, a small gesture to the fairies and the gods tomorrow. (As if they haven't made me do it.😉) Like I said, like previous year, Beltaine wants to be celebrated. And this year, it's a bit small and humble, but it feels as if it's somehow there. It's perfect for this crisis. It did not demand too much, but it's beautifull this way. Though my lack off attempts this year, in my heart I'm still a pagan. And I can feel when this is asked by the gods. So, a small sacrifice for tomorrow. 

I'm not going to explain this to my fellow clients. I just hope they enjoy their cake. They don't know the concept off modern pagan, let alone witch. (In this conservative town, it's still feared.) But I keep a good attitude towards them, so they know I'm a good and giving person. And sometimes I make small remarks and jokes. But I know and feel I better keep it to myself to them. 

In beautifull, old fashioned Zaandijk, surrounded by green buildings and flowers, Beltaine asks to be celebrated in all modesty, in the sweetest way possible. So with a nice home made cake. And that's how I answer 'the call.' that's within me this year. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

Good evening at the 10th off June, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was incredibly hot, and I have been hiding in my home most off the time. I only have been out to de Boed for coffee or meals. Other than that, I have been in all the time.

*

I have been trying incense for mid-summer. I ordered a few new packages, and tried them on my altair sending wishes and prayers in the air. And I'm burning a yellow candle for peace in Ukraine. It's going to be bad, also for the economy. 

I foresee growth marks off -1,7 % and -1,4 % for next year for the quarter off years if the war and the crisis continues. This counts for the Netherlands. The crisis, at that point, has become lethally dangerous for most. It's going to be awfull. Most people will be poor or close to poor. And I wonder what will happen to our food if people have no money to eat anymore. It will be bad 

Bad times are part off this earth. They have always been there. More floaty types will predict you all sunshine and roses if you don't watch out. But it's the truth off the day troublesome times and war and death are part off this world aswell. I count myself a realist, not a pessimist. Like some people used to say: 'This world is bad? No, dear, this world is deeply rotten.' And that's the truth off the day nowadays. I can't go more soft on it if I wish to keep this prediction realistic. I have low faith in mankind to be honest. I believe in doing good for ourselves and our own karma points. But most people don't seem to do so. I do good because I believe in that. I try to do good to the people in my surrounding. 

But I'm not a prissy. I can handle a lot, but I'm not to be messed with. We will see a shrink in the economy next year, even up to a point where the year mark will be a minus. I don't know what it will do to us in the long term. It's already bad as it is. And badly as it is, I don't have any solution for you. I don't know how to solve the war and the crisis if Russia doesn't give in, or if this is some sick Iluminati game or not, like there are rumors about out there. I just don't know what to do. I know I should warn you. 

It's good to prepare yourselves somehow. Be sure to have products on stock and a closet filled with clothes you can re-wear for a long time. Prepare for a period where most people will do less, economically seen. AND, last advice: Don't be ungratefull for what people do give you, if you are used that they gave more some time ago. (For an occasion, or a holiday present, for example.) Or when the food you have to eat is less than what you are used to. Don't be lame on the person who prepared it for you when you go to them for a dinner. Don't mock about it, since that can be painfull. Be prepared to live in a world where we already do live with what we have 'on the shelves.' instead off buying something new all the time. It's a deep necessity. We simply can't spend more money on things than we do have. 

I have a bit off a hay fever this weekend. A runny nose, sneezing all the time, runny eyes, and a little enhighering off temperature. Aside to being hot, this weekend also has code red for pollen. I have just a little hay fever, but all off these pollen are enough to make me grab my box off tissues and just sick it out. There's nothing that can be done about it this weekend. The best thing that can happen for me for now is rain. But they predicted a whole week off high temperatures. I feel sick from it. 

I decided to shut down the central heathing for summer. It's getting hot, there's no need to warm the home for this period. It saves money and gas, hopefully. 

Pluto will be in Capricorn again tomorrow, and it's a good idea to be sober. The first Aquarius period has been fun for me. I have been doing very well, and I have been going out to fun things and had fun despite the crisis. I feel less chained to medication and health borders this period, but it's about to end and we have to be carefull once more. Still, I can say I enjoyed spring. I hope Aquarius will be this good to me it's entire period with Pluto for the next 20 years, after we took this last step with Capricorn. I just hope Aquarius will also come up with an idea to end the crisis and the war, and we can live up to our full potential again. But like I said: We will have a crisis the next period. I know it's going to take some time. People, it's going to be hard, but take care. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.     

Good evening at the 9th off June, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was bright and sunny, and there is a hot and sunny weekend ahead to us. With my pale skin and my obesity, I´m not looking forward to it. 

*

This evening I'm baling a bit. My budget is at a point where I can't afford to donate, give or bake for other people anymore. Without getting in trouble myself. I have to safe it up, and then be sober and see if I can make it through. It's not to my liking. The crisis takes away a lot from me this way. No more spontaneous gifts, no new cookbooks anymore, sober with clothes, no baking, no baking supplies, no laundry wash or softner for the give away shop, just saving it up so I can safe my own ass this time. Those extra's that made life fun for me are gone. I have been capable to have lunch out at lunchrooms and restaurants a few times, and shop small items. But those big fun things like new cookbooks or luxurious Sunday bakings? Not for me anymore. And baking on it's own has become theft off my own wallet. Not doable anymore. Just too bad.  

I like to be an every day superhero. But not being capable to donate, it's harder for me to perform that act. 

I still make soup every wednesday but that's on de Boed's costs. It's probably the only superhero act off kindness I can still perform on a regulair base. Preparing soup for everyone's lunch every once a week. And I help doing the dishes after dinner time. Or I sweep the floor for them. We have chores at de Boed after dinner. I like to be a superhero for free and dry and store the kitchenware every often (Not every day) during the week. They love me for doing that. They think I work fast and they are gratefull for me taking it on me so easily. I like organizing the cupboards along. And it still gives me that superhero feeling. I'm fat and unemployed. I probably need it for my self-esteem to be a superhero every now and then. 

But still, no donations kinda hurts. My wallet hurts from this crisis. Let's be glad I haven't truly been beaten by a villain, but it's still kinda bad. The last weeks I have been sharing bakings, multipack boxes off good brand laundry wash, a box off expensive ice cream and I have been sending several postcards. I have been capable to purchase a few small 'In between' gifts, and a cool birthday gift for my brother. (His birthday will be at the 19th.) I have been doing anything to fight the crisis, also for other people with lower budgets than me. But there is a certain border up to where it's capable. It's become too much to keep up with what I have been trying. 

I have to realize I have to live on governmental wages myself, and these increasement off prices just makes my actions impossible this way. I'm not capable to get more money each week. I have to get by with what I got. It's doable, but just for myself and thinking on the terms off just  one Christmas gift each for my two brothers this year if I start hoarding them for cheap. Just collecting that one book to my cookbook series that came out recently (And that's it for now with them) and then saving the rest up untill the products from my stock are up and purchasing the multipacks on a discount like that. I can still donate one item from a package in the give away closet down the hall, but that's going to be about it with my acts off charity. As far as I can see it, the biggest luxury in my life is off. And this is how I'm going to do it: I think I just have to accept it for now. Accept I'm going to wear last year's clothes, and not purchasing gifts for everyone and a box off chocolates along for christmas. 

I have been thinking, what did ordinairy women do during the 1930's? To fullfill their lives? Taking care off their family, sewing, handcraft, reading, knitting, crotcheting, cross stitching, baking appeltaart, but those typicall, classical feminin things are impossible for me at the moment. It's no use trying to put inspiration from that. Emancipated and modern as I am

I do hard with it, paying a higher price for a smaller portion in a restaurant. Not because I'm a gluton, but because I wish there to be enough food for people. These times are sucking me out. I even have been saving money on hairdye and a haircut. I wear it in a natural shade. It's better than during my depressive periods, but nowadays I dye every 6 months and wear it in an ordinairy braid in my neck to save money. I still wear nailpolish, but I barely wear make-up on my face. I hate these days, but still I come round. I manage to get by despite it's with beeping and creaking, (Thanks to de Boed for supplying my meals each day) 

I wear simple clothes. It's either been in my closet for a while, or it's simple and cheap. Those two do combine well. But it's not the kind off clothes I prefer to wear. Though it's comfy to wear. At least I'm comfortable. And I have been purchasing nice colours. I still like my cheap ass shirts. 

I have been investing in notebooks, however. I like to journal each day about life to empty my head. I have been thinking I needed those fun notebooks, so I deciced they where worthit. Don't get me wrong, I have been painting my toenails a vibrant orange this morning. I still live in a small flat with nice furniture and I have clothes to wear and foods to eat. But the biggest extra's off life are off. 

I foresee us to still have to live with the crisis for four to five winters, and the economy off the Netherlands and the European Union even to become lower. Growth marks of f -1 % and down are even possible. (Somehow I foresee -0,9% for the next quarter off a year for the Netherlands) As we know by now, I'm not an over-acting trouble shooter but a realist. This is what is going to happen. The economy is going to get worse and I suspect the inflation to become dangerous for society, as far as it hasn't already become. I have been burning incense and a tealight on my altair to wish for the war in Ukraine to stop earlier on. This is going to become ink black if it continues like this, I'm sorry to say. It needs to stop as one hell off soon as possible, and I'm not going to dim my words. Since this IS too bad for everyone. 

I got hay fever complaints. It's code red for symptoms. I have it in a very mild form, but it's enough for a runny nose this evening and sneezing all the time. 

I'm not looking forward to a good weekend this weekend. I'm sorry to say. Heath, hay fever and a head full off worries about the crisis. And that's my Friday evening. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.          

Good evening at the 6th off September, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a warm day and the promised rain was nowhere in sight. It's been a pity for the dry soil. 

*

This evening's dinner at de Boed reminded me off a period some time ago, around 2013 when mom was poor after dad died, and we had good foods but we had to be creative with foods. This was like one off those meals and it was good. I enjoyed my meal and they should cook more often like that, but it takes me away to a time when my family was very poor, we where cold, dad had died and we had to be creative with our resources. Like now it's like that on a nation, European wide scale. I don't wish to offend de Boed's good cooking for this evening. But I come to think poverty is now a European problem, and not just us. We overcame our crisis in the past. But do we have to live like that again now things look so bad this period off time? I'm probably complicated. I complimented de Boed, saying I loved their food and it was 'A celebration to eat it.' This evening. Still it reminded me off our creativity during our poor times. The only thing I missed was the wine. Mom and I sure drank a bit off alcohol during those days but I'm not allowed anymore since I'm on medication. 

It was high quality foods because we where creative and sober on other aspects off life. Mom had a kitchen garden and made sure we ate what she could harvest. She doesn't has it anymore since she stopped it due to too much memories coming up when she worked it after grandpa died. She loved working in that garden and it was her favourite hobby. She just can't do it anymore nowadays also due to physical issues. But this year I worked with harvest from people's garden a few times -which was good.- I haven't done so for several years, probably. But it's more healthy to eat fruit and vegetables fresh from the soil if you can. There is nothing wrong with growing your own foods and it's also cheap. I made zuchinni soup and applepie this year from people's harvest. I had people saying they never had such good zuchinni soup before. Fresh fruit and vegetables make a diffrence in our dishes. And the applepie was just a masterpiece. (That one I showed on here short time ago)

Tonight we had oven baked potatoes, beet salad and a hamburger. The beet salad and the oven baked potatoes where better than what they intended since they wanted to shove us cooked beets and boiled potatoes down the throat. This was such a good idea to switch to something more acceptable for a hot day. My family could have come up with this on a creative day and that's probably where it somewhat itches but I shouldn't complain. Our lifestyle was poor, but good back in the days. Maybe that will come to de Boed- A poor lifestyle but with aspects off very good quality. Isn't that what I have been up to for several years? Still, the trauma off being poor re-opens. It's something that still isn't over. If you are creative, poverty is less off a drama than when you have to be victim to circumstances. I'm somewhat creative. But I have also become a bit easy minded and lazy when it comes to a lot off things ever since leaving home. I didn't have to think creative to survive anymore for a long time. Maybe de Boed will make me dust it off these days. 

Tomorrow will be for cauliflower soup. I have to work with a leftover cauliflower and I'm thinking off using fresh rosemary from de Boed's garden, like back in the days I used our fresh herbs from the garden for our dishes. (I couldn't pick what soup we where about to eat this week. I have to work with cauliflower they froze last week.) Maybe I will also use thymian from the garden and really make something good out off this soup. The drought did well for the rosemary, it really looks good this year, but again- I have to think creative and use herbs from the garden like back in those hard days. Maybe the hard days wheren't so bad for my development after all. It's good to use fruits, vegetables and herbs fresh from the soil if you can get your hands on it. 

Back in the days I also started to worry more about natural resources and environmental friendly products for beauty products and in my kitchen. It wasn't a bad trait. It's been something good from a bad period off time. I could integrate it in our modern times to keep our head above the water and provide de Boed good, inexpensive and healthy foods. It's been something good I believe.  

I have been thinking about a good christmas dessert for this year and I came up with stewed pears with a scoop off ice cream. Stewed pears are perfect for christmas, if you prepare them with winter spices and enough sugar, they will be the perfect ending for many a christmas dinner. I believe they are expensive, but I suppose they are less pricey than a more extravagant christmas dessert this year. I wish to give and seek advice on a less pricey christmas, I don't know if stewed pears fit into that place. They are a beloved classic by many, though. Fruit has become expensive. It's still a good choice for this year I believe. 

It wasn't a day to bake. This morning I had a massive attack off just sitting in one place and not being capable to move somewhere or do something else but having coffee all the time. No baking took place unfortunately. I explained to my caretakers I had an issue with that and they told me it's a side effect to medication enlowering. You can't motivate yourself when you're like that. I have issues with that sometimes. Today was a bad episode off it. It somehow faded a bit after lunch. I don't really bale. I realise I have to survive this period off time and I better can't be worried with my issues since that isn't helping. So I can forgive myself for not baking. Staff said it's been a good thing since I also didn't make a mess out off the kitchen. With medication enlowering, the household seems almost impossible.            

I was about to make a trip to my mom's place for the next week. Mom has pears for stewing in her pear-tree and they are good. They are ripe around this period. I can't have some or a slice off the pear-pie she makes every year from them due to medication enlowering. I can't travel to her place when I'm like this. I feel ignorant about it, though. Since it can't be helped. Maybe the blow will come afterward and I will feel even worse about not going to her place for a week. I didn't have much off a summer vacation this year and now even that is impossible. I haven't seen the sea even once. I used to live in a place close to the sea when I was younger and I went there frequently. This year I'm caught up in the factory-filled city and have no opportunity to go to the sea. Just too bad. I would love to paddle a bit in the sea. Just a walk aside the shore line with my feet in the water would be nice. Unfortunately I have no chance to do so soon.   

To stay in the spirit off home from a few years back, and the spirit off ecological friendly foods, I'm having nettle tea this evening. We used to drink a lot off teas back in the days. I could definetely drink more since I still have a cupboard chocked full with teas off all kinds. Tea is good for your system. Especially herbal tea from a reliable brand. I stopped it since I thought it would flush medication out too easily in the evening. It's just that now I have a medicine that needs to be out. So I believe I can drink a cup off tea.

I hope I will survive the medication enlowering. It's hard already. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.     

Good evening at the 24th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was tropically hot with here and there a cloud, but mainly clear skies. 

*

I think serving de Boed cake from a Nordic Ware loafpan isn't too suitable. I think I better serve them two cakes in a cheaper mold. It was pretty cool how everyone enjoyed their cake, but we had little and it could have been more. Giving them just a crumble off cake doesn't make anyone forget the crisis and trouble they are going through. I should make everyone enough, though it's something cool to still be challenged by the loafpan mold. Maybe I should keep that for the weekends when there are less people. I don't want to serve anyone too little when I'm about to serve cake. (To be continued) The substance that came out off my cake receipe was nevertless good. Banana cake tastes great. See, a test drive was a good idea. Just like adjusting walnuts to the receipe. They are a great variety to the usuall where I would adjust almonds. 

What am I up to? Fangirling over Elvis Presley. I'm that much off an oldie. I'm only 30, but I love Elvis at the moment. He deserves the title off 'The King.' If he was still alive he would be in his 80's. If I was in the '50's, I would probably develop a crush. Elvis is cool. His music sounds refreshing compared to a lot off stuff I've heard. It's diffrent than everything else on a cool level. 

Aside to Elvis, I'm so tired and got enough off the summer heath. The country is strangled by a drought and I feel bad about it since I hate summer heath. I hope it will stop soon, and rain will start to fall untill the ground is satisfied again. I don't know but global heath surely is a thing this year. 

What do you think off this: Even when someone is a deliberate drunk with a gamble problem, they still would have the nerve to look down on me and call me too ugly for them while they are the true scum. They would still play that 'I'm high up in the tree.' game with me and other people based on their status somewhere, while it's all as fake as plastic surgery. You wouldn't take effort for such scum anymore, and your heart, mind and soul has said a thousand times goodbye to them and they're not worthit the slightest positivity. If someone is a drunk, gambling scumbag, they would get away with it as long as Vana Events protects their status among their social circles. And their woman is too insecure to stand up against it. Such people truly are going to waste. I don't know why I share this, they can't stand on the fact that they are more than you morally seen. They lack moral and manners, they are nothing anymore but that. They make debts, they lie, they drink themselves to coma's and they are rude. And then I'm insecure for them calling me ugly. Honestly. I could also waste my time on something usefull. This is a prediction. Something I have foreseen in a vision and it's about to happen. They wish to leave me insecure on the Vana Events level while their life is going to a waste. I could stand against it, I should let it be. I could also let it happen and let it be and let them sit on the blisters on their ass. Drunk, ruined and admired by their stupid ass girlfriend. How cool that must seem to them. Well, I could also think it this way: At least I don't have debts, at least I'm always sober, and at least I have money to save my own ass. I'm not dependent on them. 

You can think off this as false, but I've also predicted a war with Russia and an economical crisis ten years ago. Take that. 

I'm on the level off saving my own ass at the moment. I also know Vana isn't the right place to share predictions since they are sceptic while I was downright right. Austrich politics aren't going to save people. Just sayin'. Saving a lot off money and taking it very economical is. It will save people to budget and be sober with the income they have to build a bridge to the future. This is not going to be easy. It takes common sense and I'm proud I got that. 

Sometimes people deserve a downright 'I told you so.' And a kick under the ass once more. I'm not the right person there to do so and my role is finished in those idiot driven circles. I'm not going to appologize. 

I should let the emotion fade away with Elvis on the background, and my eyes focused on the tasks that lay ahead. It's not easy for me. I got the feeling Elvis is going to pick me up a lot since I discovered him. I'm sweeped away by a mountain off emotions at the moment and it's too much for me. I stop writing tonight right here. Another day tomorrow, another chance. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 23th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was hot outside with here and there a cloud. 

*

Today was for trying my new Nordic Ware loafpan. Instead off trying TuttiFrutti-cake, I tried banana cake from a receipe I have made a dozen off times ever since I live here. It didn't came out perfectly. It was a bit off fussing over getting it out, but I couldn't manage to do so well. 

This is how it came out. 

So I decided to put on some icing sugar to cover the cracks. 

I just hope people won't notice too hard it's broken. It tastes well, I tried a chip that was left in the baking mold and it's a bit diffrent since I adjusted walnuts instead off almonds to the batter, like I usally do in this receipe. Trying good old banana cake in this mold gives it a new dimension in my opinion. (Man, I made that receipe often.) It's a challenge to practice untill it comes out perfect and that makes it something great. I love a good challenge every now and then. It's good not to have tried something with high expectations in it, but just something I'm familiair with to do some sort off a 'test drive.' I still have to stir this loaf pan to a comfortable drive so to say. 

Tomorrow the people at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk, will get it served in slices on pastry plates. And I hope they won't notice too hard it's broken. hopefully they love it just as much as the earlier versions off my banana cake and all they notice are the ridges and the walnuts. I'll make them serve it at the afternoon coffee moment. It has cookie spices and coconut in it aswell. It's a celebration to eat. 

I have to make a new jar off self-selected cookie spices. Previous year when it was so rainy I already came up with it in May, but since it's so hot outside all the time, I barely feel like 'cookie spices.' This year. Maybe I feel more like it on a rainy September or October day.  But as I should note to myself: 'Slow down, the cookie spices season hasn't started yet. It doesn't hurt to take it easy in summer heath.' 

Before the Dhammapada, I feel like reading Jane Austen. Something completely diffrent and I can't explain to you why. I can't order it soon, since I already purchased a few household items which where broken in my small care home, like a TV and -finally- a coffeemaker. I can serve myself and guests fresh coffee again once it's delivered! Yass! But since I purchased a TV from money my accountant granted me, and a coffeemaker, I have to take it easy with the budget. 

Well, I could watch TV this weekend. I think I will enjoy that and be gratefull for real about it since I love Discovery Channel and the news. And hopefully something to laugh about since I need that. I got a brand new TV- let's put it to use once it's delivered. I payed quite a price for it, so I got something to do when I feel like watching. I prefer to keep up with the news on a moderate level. 

I shouldn't trust people who say to not follow the news for all gold and silver in the world. It's good to stay informed about The World. I follow every day news and I read the local newspaper. I'm not an expert but I know what's going on around me. And that's important. It's better not to be unworldly about it. That's not cool, it's naive and stupid. I won't say following everything or the harsh things is good for you, it's been proven to be bad, but it's good to stay informed about the important things. Especially with crisises going on around us. 

I could invite a neighbour this weekend for a cup off fresh coffee. And them to admire my new coffeemaker and TV. Some people throw entire parties when they purchased things like that. I'm not among those. I'll just see if a caretaker or a neighbour has time for me. I can't do much fun things and I live far off, but at least I can have a neighbour over for coffee every often. And I can make myself a cup when I got time for myself. That's important too. Coffee and tea make an important part off my life. I love to drink both. 

This above meme is from the artist Chibird and these are things I believe in and which I do quite often, except off complimenting myself in front off the mirror since I believe I slack and could do better when it comes to how I look. Still most off the meme fits me. I hope more people will follow it. I would almost think I'm kind to myself. (Which is important.) 

Today was quite a positive day. I made a cake and I got myself some cool and expensive household items. Except for the warmth. That was less positive. But it wasn't too bad. 

Allright, that's about it - 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 18th off August, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

The sky is clear and it's about to be warm again. The whole day it was cloudy and yesterday was for rain. Today the weather is changing. 

*

Today was for planning a trip to The Hague (Den Haag) to go shopping and have coffee. My personal care taker just told me this morning they where about to take a bloodtest- but the nurse from the bloodtest organisation (Send to me by General Practice) didn't show up. They are going to test my blood to see where my exhaustion comes from all the time. I'm difficult to prick. But you can imagine I had to sit inside de Boed all morning untill there was no longer the illusion off visiting The Hague for a bit off funshopping. 

This afternoon is for buying stuff online and having tea behind my laptop. I have to take it moderate from now on since I crossed my budget and I'm not willing to go below a certain amount off money on my pay account, so further shopping has to be awaited. I have asked for extra money for a new TV, however, since mine is broken and I need a new one. I like to keep up with the evening news every often so I like to have a TV. I can just addapt to basic channels and I have no expensive subscription to digital TV, so I have to accept I can't watch 300 channels. As long as I can watch Discovery and the news I'm fine. (And it sort off asks for Star Wars, I was complaining about not being capable to watch high definition Star Wars on my old TV- With a new one I can probably watch as crazy and loud as my heart desires.) Usually I just stick to the news. And I have a few golden oldies on my to-watch list: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Singing in the rain, and Hayao Miyazaki's work. (I own a DVD player) I got a lot off material I wish to watch. The weekend is perfect for that.  

I ordered the Wabi Sabi book I wrote about. From another author (Beth Kempton) to read their vision on the subject. I love eastern philosophies and wisdoms. The world would probably a better place if people would practice Wabi Sabi a bit more. The art off appreciating imperfection and decay. Simply because nature doesn't fit in into our modern standards off perfection, and it decays. Things never stay the same and they are likely to grow old. That's nature. It's not up to us to wish to change that or paint a coat off perfect standards over it. It simply doesn't work that way. Humans who always strife for perfection are hurt and shallow on the inside most off the time. It's a bright and brilliant concept to follow the wisdom off Wabi Sabi, and that's why I wish to read more about the subject. This week I will receive the book and I can read it this weekend. 

This afternoon is for nettle tea. It's a good idea to drink herbal, organic teas if you wish to look fresh, young and pretty and if you wish to give your organs a good cleanse. It's one off my secrets to look young and pretty: Herbal tea. It's good for you and I personally love the taste off nettle tea. It's suprisingly good. 

This week, there will be a yearly market held in Zaandijk. Some sort off yearly fair with all kinds off artistic stuff, a waffle stand and fruit boots. I allow myself to buy cherries and waffles and see if there is something nice among the stuff they sell. It's only a few streets ahead from here and it's promising to become a nice weekend: A new book and a market. And after visiting the market reading while having a waffle. Can't be too bad. The weather is changing back to cloudy at this moment. There is a heathwave promised for next week. I'm not looking forward to it. I would love the weather to rain and the country to complain about it since there is a massive drought going on and it's screaming for water. Entire Europe is suffering from drought. It would be soooo incredibly nice for it to rain. 

I wouldn't mind if this weekend at the fair there will be rain. It's not good for the stand holders, but it's good for the country. I love rain, especially in summer. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 16th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

The sky is cloudy yet it's warm. Somewhere around midnight there will be rain and tomorrow will be rainy according to forecasts. 

*

Today is for being at my mom's house. This day is the tenth year my dad has passed away. He died in 2012. After a long battle with all kinds off lung and heart diseases. A lot has happened the previous 10 years but I can't say they where good for me. It was a good decision, however, to attempt to this place to be around my family. 

Dad wouldn't liked me to hang into grief for too long. He would have wanted me and us to go on after a while but that's sort off an issue sometimes. I can woe still over his death and when I do the sadness seems almost lethal. Today I've only sobbed a few tears, I came here with five square 'Gevulde koeken.' A nice Dutch treat filled with almond paste and usually they're round, or flower shaped. But the bakery I got them from (Fresh from the bakery, yes, sir.) sells them square. Square bakings are sooo 2011. 2013 at i's highest and it's not a trend anymore to eat from square plates with square kitchenware. But I still love it. Square bowls and square plates are out off fashion. (they where on trend somewhere around 2007) Sometimes ago (For those who don't know that era or those who don't remember.) They where the edge off edgy. It's still chique to serve something haute cuisine on a square plate. You got that still in some restaurants. My personal kitchenware is diffrent, however, yet cute in style (And I'm not going to replace it)- still a square baking or a square plate is cool in my opinion. I still hang on to that idea off style. 

Still I have nice plates. You don't have to buy everything that's on your mind immediately. I have breakfast plates with a Japanese cherryblossom print, and soft pink dinner plates with a fancy edge, it does it's utmost best to look fancy and chique. (They're getting a bit chipped here and there, so it needs a little update- still I'm not heading to a website for a large set off square kitchenware.)  My dishes need to be done to be honest since my kitchen is a mess this week. It was too hot outside to do anything so I hope I'm not in trouble for it. 

So, today we had coffee and a square Gevulde Koek fresh from the baker. Mom had a new footbath I have been using. An electric one with massage function and my feet are clean and I feel refreshed. She had footbath salt with Calendula and orange smell in it. I think I will sleep well tonight. 

Aside to that, my bedsheets have been changed and I sleep in a clean bed tonight. In this summer heath, it's important to stay fresh and keep your bed and yourself as clean and fresh as possible. It's no good idea to go around all sweaty all week, though I have to say it was a bit harder this week to keep myself entirely fresh each day and clean my bedsheets in time. Still I'm glad I have done so! 

(When you're mental, it's hard to take count off grooming and personal care.) 

I got a bit sick off the crisis the world is going through. By the end off this month, a lot off people are probably short on money and winter hasn't even started. de Boed is often short on food, and it's low quality this week. 

Often they have just enough to feed everyone one plate and that's about it. I have had enough food this week, I don't need a lot despite people thinking diffrently off me due to my weight. I can do with just one plate off potatoes, vegetables and meat and a few peanutbutter sandwiches in the morning. (It was too hot for fried eggs this weekend. I have eggs left on the shelve and a package off bacon.) But it's not to my liking. It's probably not the most healthy choice in food, but I have to accept it. Tomorrow I will cook myself pasta the way my family used to make it back in the days when I still lived here, with a lot off vegetables and tomato sauce. It's hopefully a healthy dish with a lot off flavour. I got work to do tomorrow. Clean the kitchen after Wednesday Soup, then make pasta. Well, it's probably better than what they serve this Wednesday if I cook myself pasta. Tonight I will eat at my parental home. 

I personally am not in a crisis. The ingredients for tomorrow's pasta where a bit on the expensive side and I would never be capable to make it if I didn't have de Boed to eat my other meals from. Still, something isn't to my liking, I can skip to something I will make myself tomorrow. But it's only one or two times this week. I don't have acces to close supermarkets or the money to buy enough fresh vegetables for meals for the entire week. Where I live is far off from shops. It teaches you a harsh lesson in gratitude for what you do have if you live like me. And that's me. What about all those millions off people who can't afford food due to the crisis? I had still money left for gevulde koeken today and an ice cream after the bus drive to this place. But that's because I'm dependent on de Boed. They serve less food to us and it's low quality this week. (A lot off frozen vegetables sided with potatoes and meat) I'm so glad I don't have to eat with tonight and tomorrow. (And probably another day this week, since I'm likely to make pasta for two days.) 

Aside from the foods there's those fights in de Boed and the uneasyness that comes from it. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with it for most days off this week. I should grant myself that more often: Homecooked meals and to eat in peace. 

Allright, that's about it for now, 

Thank you for reading.      

Good evening at the 14th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's sunny and hot outside. Tomorrow there will be thunderstorms and rain and I'm looking forward to it. I just hope this entire autumn and winter will be very rainy to solve the drought. I don't mind if people are going to complain a lot about it- It's a necessity if this place doesn't want to be as dry and death as the Nevada desert (I wrote 'dessert.' somewhere. But it's a bad idea to think you can eat desert sand and dry ground after dinner. So I wrote it wrong. And it's better not to dive into it with a spoon after a meal. 😉)

*

Officially today is half a year untill Valentines' day. Let's hope it's rainy that day too. I hope there won't be too much gloom this winter from rain and thunderstorms, but dear goodness- we could use it. 

Am I planning things with Valentines' day? Nah, just bake something special for that day and make a few lonely souls at de Boed a bit more happy. It's all a single old spinster like me can do. I'm not expecting something, I just take note it's only half a year away from us and it's probably better than scorching summer heat.   

Today was for ordering food. I didn't feel like 'Zaans geluk voor gevorderden.' This evening so I ordered a Shawarma dish at a local restaurant, sided with fries and garlic sauce. That's closer to my personal idea off real luck for dinner. I love middle eastern meat with garlic sauce for dinner. I also ordered some baklava for dessert. (In this case, it's a good idea to have that after dinner.) 

I have been finishing Wabi Sabi by Fransesc Miralles and Héctor Garcia and I wrote a positive review on the site I bought it from. (I've been reading it pretty fast.) It made me feel that positive, so I thought they'd deserve it. I never write reviews on items on that site since I don't consider myself an expert on things. But this made me feel so good, it deserved 5 out off 5 stars. 

I have been thinking off a concept for a TV-Show: Top Gear for kitchen tools. You know, that legendary British car program from the BBC? Something like that for kitchen tools for an every day user / hobbyist / noob / specialist / anyone who loves to cook would be great since there is a lot on the market and I have to find my way in it when I search for the best 'gear.' for what I'm making. There isn't such a thing as a guide for baking molds, springforms and cookbooks. (Maybe something more subtile like a monthly paper guide would be also great.) Given there is quite something on the market and everyone needs those tools, and things come out new every day, I foresee material for TV-shows for over 20 years. To keep it from being boring, it needs humor and a spicy twist like Top Gear. But maybe it's a bit unrealistic. It was a 2 A.M thought at midnight when I couldn't sleep. 

Today not much happened: I had coffee at de Boed, I got home for an afternoon nap, then finished a book. (I couldn't sleep during that nap. But a bit off rest was nice) Ordered food and then wrote a review for Wabi Sabi. There's another book out there with the same title. Maybe it's worthit also ordering and reading. 

I don't know if I'm suitable for the concept off Wabi Sabi. I don't crave perfection and I could do in a world without that strive since it would make me more comfortable. But I'm somewhat off a perfectionist when it comes to baking since that is my Ikigai. I wish to strive for better results each and every time I'm at it. But the relaxed way Wabi Sabi makes people think, accept and handle the world around them when it's not perfect, is a great way off wisdom. I just love it despite thinking I would be bad at it. Another book on the subject hopefully wouldn't do bad for me. I'm curious for it. I wouldn't do bad practicing it since it would also get a hold on my perfectionism when I would do so. My eternal strive to do better each and every time, and my strive to display these things I earned and the love off all that praise it often gets. I'm a bit off a show off sometimes. Do I have an ego or what? I just love people complimenting me. It's just in the field off baking. On all other aspects off life I could truly live a Wabi Sabi mentality. I would be 100% fine with it. Would I? I'm somewhat doubting it. But it's a perfect book to make people think. (Also people like me, who would do hard practicing it completely.) 

I'm not a perfectionist on most things, except for my creativity. 

But that's a personal issue and I don't know if insights from Wabi Sabi can truly solve it. Still I'm positive about the subject and I love the feel-good book I've been reading about it. I own almost all works from Fransesc Miralles and Héctor Garcia in the Japan-wisdom series. I love reading them and they're truly inspiring. Just like green tea- this is Very Good for your (mental) health. 

It's probably a good idea to read even more on the subject off Wabi Sabi. It can't be a bad thing to order that other book out there on the matter. It makes me feel positive to read eastern philosophy and not much in this world has that capability, to be honest. 

Let's continue this journey on eastern philosophies since I just love it. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.        

Good afternoon at the 13th off August, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

The sky is bright and clear and it's hot outside. We're still dealing with a heathwave. 

*

I have slept terribly last night. I just couldn't sleep due to the warmth. The whole nation probably had that issue, and the heath makes irritated and cranky aside from poor sleep. 

I decided to try a little rest after morning coffee this morning but it didn't turn out well since I couldn't sleep. I'm still a lot in my bedroom with my fan on. I moved my computer from the living room to the bedroom this week and it turned out to be a good idea to stand the heath. (This is the room with the fan where it's cooler.) I don't have much space in my home, so I have a small bedroom and a small living room. To sit here inspired me to order stuff to decorate it a bit more to my liking. 

Yesterday evening was hilarious for my parcels to turn out to have been delivered at my neighbour instead off there happening something suspicious. (But why should there? I've got nothing bad going on in my life.) 

Yesterday late in the evening I felt like I almost lost it mentally seen. I felt like going overboard with mental issues and loosing grip on my situation. I can't remember anymore what I did yesterday, except for unwrapping my Nordic Ware molds. They look fabulous and I'm certain they are going to help me in my mission. But that's all I can recall. Maybe I had a few glasses off water and I felt tired. I simply don't know what else I have been up to and it's been such a bad night untill the evening truly cooled down and I felt capable to sleep finally - Untill my alarm got off at 8.00 AM and I had to go to the medication office. It's always that early, also in weekends. I eat breakfast and then go for medication. It's downright terrible to have to get up that early always. But I have no choice and it's good to have coffee and the newspaper during weekdays at de Boed, where they provide my medication.  This morning was for coffee, and wearing a fabulous summer dress. Except for that, nothing happened but it's a heathwave outside so I better don't expect something off today. Sometimes, you have to accept what life throws at you. No matter how bad you'd want something else. 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading! 

Good evening at the 12th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today we´re in the middle off a heathwave. I´m lucky I can stand it inside my home. But it´s scorching hot outside without a cloud in sight. There is a thunderstorm promised on Monday and that's about time for it to cool down. I have to withstand this the entire weekend. 

*

So, today is for staying in all the time and doing little. Aside from unwrapping parcels I ordered online. Trying to decorate my home and purchasing nice items online for it gives my life somewhat off a purpose. I can't go overboard with shopping, but I purchased a large mirror and a poster off The Great Wave, a Japanese traditional art classic. I forgot material to hang my poster on the wall so I need to attempt a place where they sell said material, I'm probably going to order it among my next big order online and put it to use. It's been a good idea to purchase those items. My place could use it. (It looked a bit boring and cheap in here.) 

Next first world problem: A pile off cardboard a homeless could build a villa with. It needs to be thrown away but it's too hot for that so I await for the temperature to cool down so I can get to the thrash bin to dump it. Seriously, it's a lot. And it makes me somewhat a-social. Plundering websites in these expensive times and collecting such a pile off cardboard. That's not good for the environment and they could have made books out off those boxes. Still, I somehow need comfort shopping and solving my peronal space to give myself more fullfillment. I could have finished it all within a year and feel empty again. Just too bad. I could also see where the ship strands when I'm finished with this project and head to the next project. It's scorching hot outside. I have little other to do than being inside behind my computer all day (Post funny stuff online, shop a bit- that sort off things.). 

I don't know how people can stand these temperatures at places where it's common to be hot outside. It doesn't sound like a place for me to live. I'm glad I own a fan to cool my bedroom. 

My Nordic Ware still isn't delivered. Sometimes I suspect the post company to keep it behind from me and not deliver to me on purpose. Since they think I'm just a poor nobody and they better deliver it to some rich person who can put it better to use and who is more vulnerable and en vogue. What am I to do with Nordic Ware? Life can be unfair that way. But it's probably not the truth. (I hope it's not.) Maybe some higher hand from the post company or the iluminati is behind all this and doesn't want me to own fancy baking molds. That's probably not true. But my mind scoops it there and makes that out off them delivering late. But I paid for them and it's my right to get them delivered. (It's in the Dutch law: Once you paid for something, it's their plight to deliver and it's yours once you paid.) 

I wish to own that loaf pan so I can make TuttiFrutti cake. (I own a new baking book. It has a receipe for TuttiFrutti cake). You could serve it to them like any other cake, you could also serve it to them fancy style and molded to true beauty. Anyone who gets a slice or sees that loaf off cake will probably be made happy the entire day. (And how about them eating it?) I need it to fullfill my mission: Help people cope with the crisis and soften their day with cake and other bakings. Discussion closed, I need that loafpan just as much as some pretty edgy tut with a big house and big money on her bank account. And the XL bundt pan can make any christmas a feast. I hope I can still take it they are slow on delivering my stuff. I hope I won't be overheated or stressed due to it. It works on my nerves, though. 

I'm looking forward to Christmas, let's keep it at that. It's scorching hot outside today and it's not the most sane thought or ideal to hold on to. I'm also thinking 'Valentines' day.' when making something romantic. Half a year and two days untill Valentines' day and it's probably just as normal as any other day for me. I'm not expecting something special. But maybe I can take baking to a nice level and bake something romantic for de Boed that day. So I'm still celebrating it a bit though it's not much. I need fancy loaf pans, bundt pans and books to keep on being challenged. Just like a man who buys new gear for his cars, boats, camping or sports hobby all the time, I got a bit off an ego in baking. (I won't say 'a dick.' since I'm a woman. But you got it, probably) I also own a cookiegun (Or cookie press as how it's also called) Which still has to be put to use. I was planning on baking blue cookies with it, but given the people at de Boed are a bit short-minded and conservative when it comes to food, I better keep it at a nice cookie colour (Golden brown, preferably) I also wish to create rosettes with the cookie gun. Looking like a poof off cupcake frosting. (You can also do that with cookiedough when piped well) And it seems like they won't be distrusting such a cookie, as long as it's cookie-coloured instead off blue or purple. 

It's too hot anyway to bake but I'm fussing over it already. I promised myself the cookiegun earlier on this year for fullfilling a course in mental education. I didn't buy it back then for some reason, but now I own one. It's a year filled with buying items somehow. What a year, what a year. I hope the world makes it alive untill Christmas. I feel like baking a lot off fun things for christmas this year and I'm thinking off keeping you informed on this weblog. Like some sort off an artist, or a man with a hobby and a hurt ego, I can say: 'It's never enough.' Somehow I always wish to shoot for more and let's put those items and books to use. It's probably only going to benefit those who eat and me- since I love baking. But it's too early for christmas. Let's await the end off summer, fall and Halloween first and bake them stuff for that. (Traditionally seen, these are perfect occasions to bake.)

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading.