Good morning at the 19th off April, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's gloomy and dark tonight. 

*

Mensen hebben het te veel over 'Van goede huize.' komen, en scheppen op over afkomst die ze helemaal niet hebben, of doen alsof ze belangrijk zijn en gaan op hun strepen staan met gegoede manieren die niet van hun voorouders komen, maar uit hun eigen kop, waarin ze zichzelf wel heel erg belangrijk wanen. 

Maar laat me je dit vertellen: Er is niks mis met van gewone maar gedegen huize komen, en opgevoed zijn door wat gewone mensen. Vooral als je wat aan je opvoeding hebt, en de gewone mensen echt om je geven, en je handige dingen geleerd hebben. 'Van goede huize.' En er dan arrogant of nep bij zitten, met alleen het recht op een grote mond, is eigenlijk een beetje vulgair. 'Wat dat dan ook inhoud?' 

Je mag best trots zijn op je voorouders, je ouders of je komaf, als je het maar een beetje normaal houd, en niet overdrijft, en je hoeft je ook niet te schamen als men gewoon was in jouw familie. Nergens voor nodig om ergens dik over te doen. 

Ik kan me beroepen op gegoede voorouders, en een gewone boeren huize met een dorpse achtergrond. Dat is wat het is, niet meer dan dat. Ze waren vroeger gegoed, maar toen ik geboren werd waren het gewone mensen. En er is niks mis mee. Mensen zouden dankbaar moeten zijn voor normale dingen, dat het er is. Want zelfs het normale is niet vanzelfsprekend. En het heeft me met liefde opgevoed. Dat kan ook niet iedereen zeggen. 'Van gegoede huize.' word zo eigenlijk wel heel gewoon. Of iets om mee op te scheppen. Een stok om mee te slaan. En dat is niet altijd terecht. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 4th off February, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and cold outside. 

*

I'm in a period where I'm not doing well. My mental state is pretty lame at the moment, I suspect I'm severe delusional at the moment. It's not really going well. I had to take emergency medication for two times now. I think I'm spied upon in the computer all the time, but what the hell are they looking for in my system? And one off these spies is familiair.... honesty, my docuents are pretty lame, and behind - I can't afford a good windows version for several years, so it's a bit crap they're after when they are after something artistic I've made. Not really sane. It's a bit off a household computer. It's not off importance in my opinion for the far wide world what's on. But the rats in the attic ('Geouwehoer op zolder.' Zoals dat in het Nederlands heet.) better stay away, or something in me is not right. The idea makes me unstable.  I'm a mental patient, I think I have vermin in the computer. It's good enough for a ton off delusions and haunting scenario's my mind makes about it. But what the hell is after sick old me? To be honest, I think it even can't do damage if they're after this old crap. 

Thoughts... Thoughts... I'm over-thinking on it, and on heavy medication for it. More emergency medication since it's not handy to me. It's asking too much off me to handle something does that. I should get a clue on how to keep them out, but it's difficult. They are NOT welcome. 

Either that, or I could use a good amount off help. It's at that state off being. I'm not doing well from it. but I would not expect them to be after me. It looks delusional. How to stay sane despite this? And Who the Hell cares about my documents? I suspect them to be after my documents, but they won't find anything in there. Let me tell them that ahead. Most off it is creative content and old. It's stupid to be after that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 21st off January, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and cold outside. 

*

I had visions about fashion Gothic being the total It-style off the 30's. Why can't it be? Wasn't it to be found one off the prettiest styles off recently? Why can't we, Fantasy alternatives, ever be totally It? It has been like this since ages. We are totally peeved and looked down upon by the fashion industry, but some time ago the trend was totally fashion Gothic. I adored it. I would love that to come back, I'm always hiding I'm alternative to the audience, I finally could come out for it when everyone started wearing Dr. Martens in public. It was so cool. So beautifull. Even I dared to be more out in the open. There's a hole in my heart, and a stone in my stomach it's not more widely accepted. But the whole fashion loving town was taking part off it, when Versace and Chanel started to make work off it. I think I finally would have gotten away with it with my old peers at school. It always has been forbidden for me to be a public alternative by them. I don't see them anymore, but you can probably imagine. It's like I'm secretly a werewolf or so, they where not allowed to know. Nowadays I'm far more public with it, on Facebook, but we broke all contact. They're kinda short minded people. But deep inside I hope fashion Gothic made them think it a bit diffrently, or maybe they started following a fashion trend, something as simple as that. It's not a feeling or a philosophy with them. 

It's such a stone in my heart, coming to think it can never be accepted by the main crowd. I don't look alternative here, but hey, we're at a mental institute with old people with mental issues, and it's not appropriate. I look dull and boring on a daily base. I had a time where I tried to look like a Wolf Witch Warrior, and showing you're pagan can be done in many ways. I'm still pagan, still a witch. But secretly. This place is old fashioned, conservative and Christian. And it makes me look like a shabby old tramp not to get in trouble with them, there's also something against looking too expensive. To people from the past, it might seem a bit aso even to look like this. But it's my way to adapt to the surrounding. I'm always in situations where it's not appropriate to be a heathen in public. This country still has rules about that. Nowadays I do my utmost best to be off taste to old people. At leat they're nice to me. But you get it: I better don't be over the top. But it's not too bad since they have good taste in music. I love listening to their music. After breaking up with Vana Events, it did not feel too bad. But it's a stone in my heart. I'm a witch on Facebook, but not in their face, I would get in trouble with it and they would hate me for it. 

My kind off spirituality has never been publicly accepted, not as much as some time ago when it was everywhere, and it started to be a little more accepted, but sometimes this country almost do it for it, and it's stuck up again against pagans like me. I'm lucky to have my mom to discuss things with, and I read books about subjects. But still, despite the fight for equality and justice, we're still seen as obscene by the establishment. I hate it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 3th off January, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Wet snow is falling outside the window. It's still dark. 

*

I'm out off coffee. That shall teach me to hamster. I have been hamstering an amount a few years ago- but it was all spoiled and it ended thrown away during a time where coffee is something to win a prize for. I think it would be totally acceptable if people would do house games and one off the prices is a pack off Douwe Egberts coffee. Expensive as it is. 

It's 02.30 midnight, I can't sleep that well. I watched a movie last night, and even over something simple as Love Actually, my mind is over-acting and prickly. I barely watch movies, but it's a pitch dark winter, so I'm going to. Maybe I should get used to movies instead off acting so whimpish. It's healthy to take media in. It's unhealthy to be an austrich. But it's a bit off a challenge for a mental patient. Today is a free Saturday, so I got all the time to watch Netflix. Though I should not over-do it. But still, if I wish to stay ahead, I should watch all the classics. I have started to watch classic romantic comedies. From the era where actresses where actually a tad too perfect. I totally see why women did have such a low self-esteem in the days. But still, nothing but therapy from a romantic comedy to soothe the mind. 

But each to their own, I'm a bit mentally prickled from actually doing something aside from watching the news. Usually, if I can set myself to it at all, I watch the evening news, and otherwise the TV is out. Often it's all I can take. The news is not recommended, but I do watch, to be informed about what happens in the world, and about what they want you to know. It informs about governmental cuts and the duration off wars. So I can make a mental sketch off whether it's gonna cost and what is gonna cost. It's one reason to watch the news. Bad harvests and war make groceries more expensive. It's interesting enough to keep me watching, if I can. Usually my mind is too full to take media in. But it's important enough to tune in at times. If something doesn't want you to watch the news, you should not trust it. My intuition tells me I should watch every now and then. Like, it was on the news energy prices are increasing- it's important to know. Especially during wartime, the people should stay informed. The situation is desperate, and the news gives more off an insight. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

Good afternoon at the 14th off November, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's dreary and rainy outside. 

*

I would like to share some images off my foods off the previous days, some where really good. Like the bowl off vla with a doll up off whipped cream at my parental home after dinner, and my attemps at oven baked carrots in diffrent shades, and my dessert. Low fat peach yoghurt with pommegranate seeds. All too delicious. I should clean the kitchen today, but I'm almost dying out off headache. I'm about to see General Practice about it. It's really wrecking to be as stressed as I am. Maybe I'll clean my kitchen this afternoon. I would do good about it. Being schizo and on meds almost kills me. My head hurts incredibly, I could move planets, stars, whole galaxies, space ships with this feeling off incredible pain... I have never felt it this bad before. Just too much, and always late in the evening when I go to bed. It's impossible to sleep with it. General Practice and mental health should know what to do with it.    

I think my carrots can almost pass for Christmas. They where delicious. I'm dizzy from headache, unstable on my feet. I hope something can help for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 26th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a fresh night tonight in The Netherlands. 

*

It's 4 AM, I've slept, I'm sitting here in the living room, writing this to you, as good as pain free. But let's not outcall the gods. I decided to stay home this Kingsday, and do it in moderation. I don't feel much for celebrating Kingsday this year, but I'm willing to eat an orange Tompouce pastry for The King at de Boed today. I might come off as an old crank. It's just a way off perceiving things this year. I think The King is a spoiled man, who actually doesn't deserve this during a crisis like this. But then I would steal away a beloved party from The People. That's the other side off the story and we can't do that either. People love Kingsday. It's just that The King could do less spoiled in times like this, but that's my opinion.  I painted my nails orange, though. Simply not to fall out off tune with other people today. 

But my pain has faded and I'm doing almost fine. I can sleep on my side. But let's not sigh too early in relief, let's take it slowly so I can be utmost certain. I think it would be outcalling the gods if I would visit mom. I sighed a bit too early last week, and I started to feel it directly afterward. So I had to call it off. Really, I had to skip Easter from pain. I wish to visit at Mother's day, but that's way ahead. 

These days are for spending a lot off time at home. I'm unemployed, but to keep myself buisy, I do home work like cleaning. Keeping my tables tidy, doing dishes at least once a day, keep the laundry up to date, and yesterday evening was for cleaning my grill. Really, household jobs can be vulnerable. I got help with laundry folding, cleaning the bed sheets and vacuum cleaning, but I mop the floor myself each week. And I clean the toilet. This home is still on the messy side, but at least it's getting somewhere clean. I open curtains and windows each day for fresh air. It's been hard to get me at that point. I was a real slouch with a messy home. But as I'm getting older and this whole crisis thing continues, I'm getting more and more tidy. I think them lazy slouches are a bit jealouse, but most people are proud off me. They'd declare me a lunatic if I would call it wealth, but it sure is luxury to have a clean grill. 😉 

Isn't it a fundament off most religions worldwide, to be clean? Cleanliness is next to godliness. Christianity, Islamic, Jewish, Buddhistic, all swear by clean houses off prayer. I think it's much better than filthy messes to burn incense in. It's just that it stays more in the home and the near surrouding than to go in the outside world when it's this fresh and clean in my home. That's what I mentioned. Maybe that's a more safe option than to seek it too far off, or merely, it's all I can handle at the moment. And this home is the place I can be found most off the time. So why seeking it in the outer world? Maybe the Universe is more common sensed than I think. It's more in the home or the close surrounding when I burn incense now. But why would I need something far off to work? To stay home is safe. It works for me at the moment. 

These are pictures I blogged about some time ago, from fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. It's just that the link failed when trying to share these. Today it works. I went out short before Easter and pictured these. My close surrounding can be so beautifull and pittoresque. It's really lovely. It's national heritage. Simply to be here is no punishment. It's beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 23th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cold and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

The sore was almost off yesterday, but I felt it came back really badly. I almost made the appointment for a weekend at mom's. I have to call off from pain again. It's 01.30 at night, and I got out off bed from a stomach ache, and the sore on my side makes it impossible to sleep on my side. 

He's victimizing me, and it takes too long. It places such a stamp on me and my life and it's a heavy burden while I'm the innocent party in here. He has had that slut for several years, but he outcalls me ugly and scum all the time. He doesn't let me go in it, I'm not granted a second or even a seventh chance with any other man. It's just him and my feelings are not important. It's oppressive and humiliating and I feel so oppressed by Yoram again. I wish he made me free to choose someone else over him, like I was supposed to do all the time. He just doesn't let me while banging that slut. It's all me to blame, and they all call me ugly for no reason nowadays, while at first I was the prettiest girl in the world. I'm always the one to blame, to be kept low, while that gladjakker with his big dick gets away with everything. It's been unfair from the beginning on. I'm NOT the one to blame, It's NOT right. And I wish to continue my life in freedom and with equal rights to anyone. Not these rights to be scampted and dominated all the time by this giant dick off a man. And his prissy yet dominant followers. 

He should let me go, instead off sucking out my blood like a first class parasite. 

And people should realize and accept we are not a set, and it has never been there. People where so convinced we where 'the thing.' But in the end it wasn't, and I never wanted to. It was actually really scarry to be pressed in such a corner. They did not want to see the truth from my side. We are not a thing, and for my mental peace, we are better not since I never could stand the man. He's too stupid for me. Deal with it. They should finally move on and let me go. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 22nd off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's fresh and cloudy outside tonight. 

*

I can't catch sleep. Something in me stays wide awake, and makes it impossible to sleep tonight. My second day off Easter went by pretty well. I feel with the death off the Pope. He was someone who felt with the poor and the weak and stood up for them. And who reformed the church or tried to. A loss for the world I guess. 

But my Easter went by pretty well. I prepared extra good foods and ate so good. I pictured everything. I don't know if it's appropriate to post all off that on here. I don't know if it will make people jealouse off it. Or snobby, or below this standard. I have no clue to what people might think off it. That's the charm off this weblog, but it could also go wrong. Maybe my dinners.... 

Dessert: 

white chocolate mousse for two days. It's been really great to eat all off this. It was delicious. It's how Easter meals should be. I only have to find out how to cook steak more perfectly. It's a way to go to practice with it. My skills on cooking perfect steak. It's really a challenge. And offcourse I had Kaiser buns for breakfast and cinnamon buns for lunch. It's been really good. 

This perfect food is not something I do every day. It's this year's Easter for this turn. de Boed had some Easter treats for us. 

Really nice off them. I have been vreeting this weekend. I still have to do the dishes. I'm out off energy for it for tonight. And I had this: 

Chocolate Easter eggs with a Pistachio pastry for two days. It's been Easter best and I have been enjoying it. I have been arranging it perfectly, I'm almost proud off myself. Some points off improvement, but most things where perfect. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 18th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cloudy and fresh outside in The Netherlands. It's still dark, though. 

*

I'm here in my living room, I just took painkillers and I try to empty a pilch off water. (By drinking it, offcourse.) I put on a warm vest and I'm sitting my sore out. Today is for tidying up, cleaning the kitchen, tidying the living room and clean the toilet. Household chores I piled up this week. It sincerely has to happen. I think I'm very proud off myself if my home is clean during Easter. 

I don't know who else has this, but due to this crisis, I prepare foods better than I usually did. More thoughtfull, with great care and more caution. Due to prices. If I grease and flower a cake pan for example, I make sure it's done utmost well and all cake comes out perfectly instead off bits being off after the proces off baking. I do my best better to it. And a little grease to that: I imagine to prepare it for my really hot crush. The tension off you know what (😉) makes me do my best a little bit better, and picture it very nicely for the internet to see on Facebook. 

So it's not just dry potatoes, vegetables and meat, but really tastefully made food from it, done with Ikigai care and love. When I'm capable to cook. If not, it's just take away and pizza. But honestly, I would not feel ashamed if Ed the dragonslayer would look at my Facebook, and see what I cook with him on my mind. So, that makes me do my best a bit better too, both prices and the idea off my very hot crush seeing it. He's so hot you won't believe it. 

I had him on my mind with the Easter groceries. It made me want to eat perfect foods. I think it works to take good care off myself and cook well for myself. I never confessed to him. I just don't know if my broccoli would be so good again if I would end up with a broken heart. But I'm not planning to confess he's the hottest man in the whole Zaanstreek. I should be very carefull with that. It's good not to have him in my close surrounding. It's a little key secret in cooking for the eye off the world to see: The thought off a little you know what when picturing it. It's grease for the mechanics in my head / my system that make me cook. Just like price increasement. And my idea off respect for food. 

In my head, I hear them lazy slouches complaining it always looks that good. But it's the only thing I do. I don't take more care off my looks, though I think I don't look dull, but making foods look sincerely good on the internet is all I do due to that crush. A common gal would spend tons on make-up and clothes, spend time in the bathroom and tempt him. (And get the guy) I make sure my foods look nice and picture them in a good-looking light for the world to see. 

I think Ed the dragonslayer would reject me if he would find out. That would make me so sore, I'm not likely to say it to him. I wish to keep on cooking this way. For my own sake. It's affordable and healthy. I better keep it at that. Before I start to swoon over the potatoes again. (Naw, it's usually the meat and the vegetables that steal the show.) And it's just that on a daily base, I can't afford expensive desserts, but I can flaunt a bit with the dishware. I got second hand bowls from a give away spot a few years ago. They look perfect. And it's always the cheapest Vanille Vla. But it's all I can afford. Ed the dragonslayer is no ordinairy man, I think I might do it all wrong. Maybe he wants to see better foods, or diffrent foods. But this is what I got at the moment. But he's inspiring. Motivating, and if a lazy slouch wishes to do what I do, she should pretend to cook for her man my way. I think I would not be capable to 'get the guy.' But I eat well at the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 16th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's warm and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

My side hurts so badly, I can barely breathe. It's 04.00 AM, I've slept a few hours. Health care said they can't do anything for me untill General Practice opens. I'm hurt so badly, really, I'm not used to over-eating on such a scale. Usually I'm really prude with food. If that's the cause. I'm hurt, I can barely breathe or laugh, or cough. Yesterday evening I was doing really hard finding a position to sleep. I have a Guardian Angel LadyBug on the internet. Everytime I post a sore, he cures me kinda fast. That's what he does, that's why I'm so open about it. I believe if I post something on the internet, someone cures it with magic, or something reads it which cures it kinda fast and easy. Or I should see General Practice first thing tomorrow, and use common sense, though the Guardian Angel often also works for me. If he's still among my readers. 

It's a sign I don't vreet. Being hurt from feeding on take away this weekend is a sign I don't do it that much. Not as much as common youth, usually I'm more well-thought with it. But I can't withstand it, appearently. It hurts really badly. And it holds on for several days. Usually it vanishes more easily than this. I'm not used to this. Really, to take a deep breath already hurts. I had to pile up several thoughts and emotions yesterday evening. Because relieving them would have hurt too much. We're almost three days further now, and I think to see a doctor is not a bad idea. Laughs already hurt. It's not preferable for me to have this issue. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 15th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's somewhat warm tonight. 

*

I'm out off bed with a stomach ache. I have to take it calmly for the next few hours. My body digests the foods from this weekend a bit slow. 

I'm doing a bit floaty. I have been following the news these days. The subjects are really interesting. People say you better don't follow the news, but I think I better do, to be informed about what's going on in the world nowadays a bit. It's better than knowing nothing. They can tell you anything if you don't watch. If you watch it like a great adventure, it's not as damaging than when you watch with your whole heart in. At least that's what works for me nowadays when I watch it. Contrairy I'm like 'Oh, my favourite soap starts at 8.' but that's my cynism. Sometimes I watch a TV show after it, sometimes I quit watching TV for that night, but then at least I know what's going on. It's better to be informed than to stick your head in the sand. At least I watch only once a day. I'm not a news junk, but just slightly informed. 

I think, this year it does not matter not to be festive with Easter. I will attend at my mom's, but I'm thinking off doing so only for one day. I don't feel like celebrating it this year. It's not really important if I do so or not. If I would have children, it would have been diffrent. But I'm an old spinster without, so I don't disrupt anyone for not celebrating. Just a matter off how I feel it this year. Photographing flowers is my ode to Spring for this year, I'm not Christian, usually Easter marks the beginning off Spring and celebrating Spring alltogheter for me. But this year I don't feel like it. I just don't know if my photography counts for the Easter gods. I've just been told that it's really good. So maybe it's not that bad at all to do this instead off celebrating Easter. I think it doesn't matter for the cause off Ukraine wheter I celebrate it or not at all. It's not important. But it's up to me. I haven't even eaten Easter chocolates. My mom ordered some from the local chocolate shop, I bought them for her, so I think my first Easter chocolate for this year will be at Easter itself. I haven't had a rabbit or an egg so far. I'm that much off an Easter Grinch this year. I think it should be integrit this year. But that's my opinion. I also don't feel for Kingsday this year. I'm probably a bit off a crank. I think the king is a spoiled rat during this time and day off being, during this crisis. And the royal arrogance doesn't speak to me this poor year. He doesn't deserve to be celebrated this year. I think it doesn't matter wheter I celebrate or not. It's not off importance. I just don't feel for the nation wide festivities. I'm not in a mood for parties and celebrations. It feels inappropriate this year. It just doesn't speak to me. 

What do I feel for? Small comfort. Healthy foods, comfort reading, such things. Not really big parties. Something with both feet on the ground. It doesn't matter, the world is not saved by it. It's just this soft attack off mine, to skip on festivities. But I hope they understand. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 18th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a cold, romantic night in the Netherlands. Nothing is on in my life with that, but cold nights in a warm home can be romantic. It's either that, or it's pretty hard to bear. I think this night isn't so bad, so let's call it romantic.

*

I have a voice in my head: 'You better come up with something nice to blog about. Something really nice to read.' I hear him saying, usually I'm a bit on the negative side. But I can't help it at this point. Life ain't all sunshine and roses for me at the moment. I'm not negative or positive, but rather a realist. Which makes me negative at the moment. Given this time and day off age. I rather see things from a realistic point off vieuw. It helps me to keep on going, to the right direction and to land on my feet and stay safe. It's the way to go when you're a lonesome girl in a big, mean world. So I might sound a bit negative at times. I doubt if I was a guy, I also had to explain myself. Men can be as shamefully sarcastic as they please without hesitation. Especially on the internet. I find them hilarious. I love to read a good sarcastic rant. But it's just a voice in my head. Maybe it's good advice, but you could also deny their point off vieuw and not take them serious. Like any critic. 

I could also deny Vana when they say what I do in the kitchen in private is unemancipated. In their opinion, it's a typicall gender role. I'm in denial. It's my hobby and my pride to cook. I call it Ikigai when I have a good day, and it ends up delicious or above average good. I'm not forced by people to bake. I find their allegations, especially towards me personal, horrendous. But I'm not forced to bake banana cake. It's no statement against emancipation, it's pride, just like most cool hobbies. I do so volunteerly with heart and soul. I just think Vana excists off lazy slouches who are afraid to cook well themselves. At a certain point, I even followed food trends and would call myself a foodie. I came up with cool, delicious things a few years ago when it still wasn't too pricey to experiment, and companies came out with good food ingredients and great receipes all the time, when being a foodie was a cool thing. And yes, I inherited a lot off talent from my dad. In my case, it's been my loving father who taught me the basics off cookery, not my mom. What I really hate, people who nag I should not cook. I think they're afraid to stick out their own hands in the kitchen, and rock it like Nigella Lawson like I try. It's not a matter off emancipation, it's a matter off love for cooking. 

It's also love for making the table, and make it look presentable, like Martha Stewart. I love nice tableware, and it's allowed to look a bit decadent and old fashioned. But sure, pretty. maybe a bit frumpy, but that's because not much people my age try to do so. It's just that I love how you can make great food look that way. Like an acte de prescence that gives it just that little extra. You could slouch it on any boring plate and eat, or you could situate it nicely on something romantic, and you can dine. I love that. I'm not unemancipated, it's just that the kitchen is my personal pride. A romantic hobby. And I'm not forced by anyone. It's all done volunteerly. I feel I don't want to give it up to anyone. It's something I love. I hate how household shops in the Netherlands like V&D and Blokker go bankrupt throughout the times, I loved to spot nice dishware there every often. It's just became too pricey to change all the time. Otherwise you could see better what I intend. Tableware can be boring, it can also be state off the art, or romantic like mine, to beat a dreary and depressing day. I might have changed tableware more often and be more off a stylist with it if it wasn't so expensive. Now I do with these. But hence, again a rant to confirm the narrow minded dining like me is not a bad idea. I think being boring in the kitchen and on the table and defending it like Vana is a bit narrow minded. It's not emancipation, it's their own stupidity and lazyness that makes them think this way. To me it's decadent pride. Especially during these times. Vana is just irreligious slouches who don't know any better. That's my opinion. I'm not forced to do this. It's just love for the subject. They better deal with it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

 

Good morning at the 15th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This night it's dark and cold outside in the Netherlands. 

*

I don't know what it is, and if you could call me a crank for it. It's just that I don't feel like Easter. To be honest with you, I just removed some left Christmas decorations I forgot to remove, and the bare sight off the home isn't so bad either for now. Though it might be a bit dry for almost Easter, where other people and public spaces dwell in Easter. 

It's not that I don't have Easter decorations, I have a few cute ones. Perfectly suitable for todays day and age. It's just that I don't feel like it. Maybe I'll have to wait and see. Otherwise I might Scrooge Easter this year. And just be there for the foods. My feeling is a bit too dark for cute and fluffy Easter. That might answer it. I don't have kids, so it's not too bad. If I was obliged to kids, it would have been problematic, but I don't even own a cat, I can be as annoying as I please. 

I've seen the news yesterday, it looks like they won't end the war soon. It's as if the Union will give it a whole new dimension soon. It's traumatic to watch. But I feel I should keep on being informed about this. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 13th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and cold outside tonight. Very cold. 

*

I do hard sleeping. Usually I sleep untill some point between 3 or 5 at night, and then get out off bed for an hour or sleep won't get me anymore. It's a bit disturbing. disruptive, it makes me blog when I can't sleep at night. I wonder who reads these. But it's not as if these are less off quality than daily blogs. I take my time for these just as well. It's almost a habit these days, just like waking up at 5 AM was my previous one. But I decided I could not keep up with that one, so out off bed with a break and then going back in it is now. Otherwise I would have lacked more sleep. 

I had a massive headache these days, but it's been fading. I think it has to do with the news. I allowed myself not to follow it, and be in bed and rest instead. I have done so for two days, and my headaches are fading. It's not good to stick your head in the sand. Not preferable during this war! But against these tensions, a little rest works. I still feel I'm shaking on my feet from that strange cold. I took two paracetamole before bed but I'm awake now, and I still feel it. I think I have a real fever. But let's sit out my nightly break first before going back to bed again. I feel so tired and shakey, really awfull. I believe I should call in sick from coffee service this morning. I'm feeling really nasty. You could call all sorts off awfull things out loud on the internet and in public, and calling it 'your nasty cold.' But let's not do so. I'm rather at the edge off dying instead off feeling like shouting out stupid things. You can offend little people when you're sick in bad with your nasty cold. That's to say, if you don't have acces to a computer. 

I take real pride in coffee service with red statement lipstick on, so it's a bit off a bummer to have to skip it. Last week was not for red lipstick, but this week surely would have been. In this place, they appreciate my red statement lips, though over done make-up is seen as inappropriate. Especially for coffee service, they like it. Mind that these are cranky old frumps, not used to much. But they get the red statement lips and they love my coffee. It's bad not being capable to do so this morning. But sick is sick, and I should not overwork myself. Let's go back to bed, and see if I can get some more sleep. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 10th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This period was a time where temperatures where getting kinda agreeable, just like weather circumstances. Also during night time. We're heading towards a colder period, but the weekend was really lovely. 

*

This weekend was not for baking. But previous week I made a quark tart. I think they had nothing to complain, I still bake frequently for them and they can do without for a weekend. It's not as if it's an obligation. So I think, so they would tell me themselves when I appologize for it. So agreed upon: It doesn't matter. 

Previous week I came up with a real nice method for quark tart with cherries and liquid from jar. The result was really delicious. 

And health care brought out their most fancy pastry plates for it. I even purchased the whipped cream for this. People enjoyed it. For this method, you have to let cherries from jar leak out, and you have to catch up the jar liquid. If the package requires water, (In this case about 300 ml) you use cherry liquid, and cherries can be stirred through at the end. So you'll have perfect cherry strawberry flavour. I think jar cherries are still kinda affordable. They're not expensive. I think it would make a perfect treat for my personal birthday, either. It's been really a good idea. This has been for Friday. It's just that the weekend went by a bit dry for them without baking. 

I watched all kinds off TV shows this weekend, and started to read a book. 'Before the coffee gets cold.' by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. It's a novell from Japan. And so far it's really good. 

I haven't finished it yet, but it's really next level when it comes to emotions, and emorional writing. I can see why this is populair. It's beautifull and I can recommend it if you're into a real good ghost story. 

Japanese novells really do it for me recently. Aside books with Japanese philosophies, these make good reads in my opinion. It's really fascinating, and well-written. Not like a manga, but more personal and emotional. With more realistic people. It's beautifull. 

That's how I keep buisy these days, novells, cd's, TV shows- it's less boring and dry than the previous 5 year or so where I could get nothing in and doing nothing was kinda standard. I felt the inspiration to take in media in moderation again. It's been a real big block to me the previous half a decade. Really difficult. But it's gone and these books make sweet entertainment. They're not too big or intimidating, and the style off writing is beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 3th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a dark and cold night in The Netherlands. 

*

I feel I'm full with inspiration to cook daring things. It's a bit outstanding, since lately I felt like preparing potatoes, vegetables and meat all the time. My way, it's delicious, but it's the other end off edgy, it's as dull as the streetbricks in this country where you can stil cook anything. 

What would work: An affordable Albert Heijn. And people who are less stuck up with our Dutch culture and tradition. It's just that this way off eating is very affordable, you get everything in when it comes to nutritions, and it can count on mass appreciation when you show such a plate on the internet. And it's good if prepared well. So it has it's pro's. During crisis, it feeds the nation, so I should not look down on it. It's just that untill the crisis broke out, untill I had to eat at de Boed actually, I could call myself a foodie. With several creative cookbooks on the shelves. By renowed Dutch chefs who have put their heart and soul in it. I loved trying all sorts off food, and work with receipes from these books and the internet. When eating at de Boed, I could display my talent several times. I was allowed to cook foods in their professional health care institute kitchen several times, and I had an almost professional soup kitchen where I could play. The results where always perfect. Always very satisfied eaters, fancy old audiences who could appreciate, and ratchet fellow client men with their heart at my feet for my food. 

I don't seek an audience for my food work these days. Just playing around in the kitchen would be great, like we used to in the good old '10's. It's just that it's more expensive than ever. I had a thought where with Saturn, Aries could grid the stones in it's stomach for these expensive prices, while with Uranus some time ago he could enjoy great foods. (Saturn in Aries will be from 2025 untill 2028, The Uranus in Aries transit was from 2011 untill 2019) Neptune, the great inspirator, will be in it for a longer period. And maybe it's Neptune that gives me that inspiration. It's just that sad insight that with Saturn in Aries, the world can grid the stones in their stomach when it comes to food. Just a sincere thought. Saturn in Taurus will give us the tableware but no foods on it, and Saturn in Gemini will finally make us (all, also the low incomes.) eat again in moderation. It's really a sad insight. With these food prices. I don't litterally have to grid stones, I have to duck prices with potatoes, vegetables and meat. And I heard the prices even will be increased. Just like the energy costs. You could say I'm lucky for not litterally having to grid the stones in my stomach, I should be gratefull for it, and a care taker would rant I'd better be, since 'there are so many sad and sore people who can't eat to begin with' and so on. It just doesn't make the foodie in me happy. Untill 2019, I had diffrent acces to foods, with affordable  XLAlbert Heijns beyond the corner. Or if it would have been like this, I would have just been stretching my leggs to Aldi and Lidl. But those times are over. I live very far off from shops in this current town. I mainly order from the Picnic grocery app. It comes in very handy, and it's fruits and vegetables always look perfect. I hope it's fresh fruits I can grid instead off stones. But I'm too poor to be working my hobby as a foodie. I can just still eat good. Old fashioned way healthy, and have three meals a day. But I'd better forget it when it comes to big masterpieces in the kitchen. I think the New Moon in Aries doesn't give the right inspiration this time, as a warming up to the upcoming transits. Planets in Aries make me very creative in the kitchen. It causes inspiration to do so. It's not known for it, but it has that effect on me. Combined with the old Pluto in Capricorn, my food was a true work off art at that time. I call it my Ikigai, like how Japanese call such energy. It's a waste off money nowadays. Money we better be spare with. 

'Armoede houd een mens knap.' (Poverty keeps a person decent.) Like how an old neighbour used to say often before she died. Being this poor, I don't have to be concerned causing witchcraft in the kitchen, and lose my mind over an own-thought out receipe and become delusional about something, and it gets too good to be true when I do so. Messy kitchens, and health care that can't keep me under control when I do so. I can't control myself when I let it run out too freely. But then I would finally be practicing a hobby again. Most off the time, I'm not that free anymore with creative energy. I keep myself a bit caught up. To not make this flat messy. Since they would not like me to do that. There's a lot off reasons to be moderate at the moment. But I feel inspired to do things. Maybe I should practice my inspiration a bit diffrent, or follow a few parts instead off some idiotic things. Otherwise I might fall in love with an unknown man again I got delusional about. Delusions can be that lethal. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

  

Good morning at the 3th off February, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is really cold and freezing outside in the Netherlands. 

*

I think, during a time like this, there is space for praise in the Netherlands. Praise for the quality off our foods and items. Fresh fruits and vegetables, aside to meat and potatoes are one off the best options for dinner nowadays if you season well. It's perfect farmland quality, and it's nutricious and keeps us going and healthy all day. It's really outstanding what comes from Dutch fields, and what we see as 'ordinairy.' Aside to the cheese they produce. It's one off the best in the world and we can be proud off all off it. We should be. The nation could do much worse when it comes to that, and food could be litterally shooting through the roof. We all really could be a little more gratefull for perfect Dutch foods. It keeps us healthy and strong. 

And then again, coffee with a pastry I made yesterday served to us at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk: 

The decorations off the current Boed are very cozy, and a little high in their head. It looks very posh and fancy. Almost as if they got it from a county government building or so, or a company that wants to impress. But we're really at Leviaan Zaanstad for these. I love it, they remind me off my time as a trainee at the government about 15 years ago. But I don't know if that could be the intention. If that's a good idea. It's all very fancy decorated there, but who are they to impress? They're a care organisation. They don't make amends or law decrees. It's funny how this style follows me. It's beautifull, but it feels demandive. As if I really have to step it up for my care. But that can't be the intention. It's fun for a while, and offcourse it's very fancy, but should we want it there? 

Yesterday evening, I got a little high in my head myself and polished my nails with the Pearlfection luminous pearl polish by Catrice. It's limited edition for this month.

 It's a lavender mother off pearl with a pearl shine and it really looks like I could be that employee from civil registration that gets you married today. It's just that it's a bit overkill here. Most women don't have such nailpolish. But yeah, yesterday that old diva feeling followed me again. That killing forum diva feeling where I got a bit high in my head from all the fans it caused me to have been famous at such a young and important time and space off life. And we use Mother off Pearl for that. Almost Sailor Moon, but in real life. It was really glamourous. Nowadays I feel everything but glamourous. You'd say people better accept me for who I am, and don't judge me for it. It's a crisis, and I'm not rich. I'm a fat mental patient with a block. This whole Mother off Pearl attack seemed like perfect inspiration. I'm wearing it with soft pastel sweaters, to tone down the diva effect on me. This with a cute sweater makes pretty, but not obscene diva. I felt I should 'tone it down.' Not to cause heart attack among my elder fans at de Boed. So well-behaved pastel sweaters it is. That makes me look cute instead off snatchy. We would not want to overwhelm there. That could give the wrong idea. But maybe I should let go off that and just wear those sweaters and be a bit 'old glam.', whatever that means for me. 

The care taker who impressed me left Leviaan. He's no longer an issue. It's not a bad thing to look too seductive anymore. (Except if you want to avoid the wrong general attention. That's more my jig.) Elegant nailpolish is agreed upon. Maybe they even like it. And I should not worry too much. Often I worry a bit about what they think off me, and our unwritten rules are tight. Less is always more with them. So I'm daring today. 

It's really something. Most off the time I think it's such a waste. But yesterday I felt like doing these. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 2nd off January, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's cold, cloudy and grey like the other ones these weeks. It's just that I can't see the weather yet, it's just what I feel is going to happen. 

*

It's around 04.00 AM, This morning will be for coffee service. I'm in my living room, when I feel like it, I go back to bed. 

I have been thinking. Maybe my facebook and weblog will be such thick cult later on, for it being absolutely boring, and nothing happening on there except the plain, dry and daily. It's a certain wisdom on it's own for youth to follow that. Especially youth who don't have much off an interesting life themselves. It's so sickly boring and dull, they can relate to it. It's not as jealouse making as I hoped it was. That's a bit sick. But ordinairy stuff still doesn't get people too jealouse. It's just a plain idyle, and meanwhile it's not threathening, it's so stupid it's funny. 

I thought I was making people jealouse, with coffee, food and chocolates and cookies with my coffee. Since it's that much off a crisis. It's just that no one mentions. So I think it's actually the opposit. Maybe it's too dry to generate jealousy. Who, except for a real desperate, gets jealouse at cauliflower? I know, a lot off people wish they had it. But I think it doesn't sicken them with sharp, poisonous jealousy. 

Naw, I think that doesn't truly hit it. I'm not jealouse making, I think I'm so dry and boring that it's cult-like funny. But you should be into that cult before enjoying it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 16th off November, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a grey and gloomy day covered in fallen leaves. 

*

Today was for trying at de Boed again, I had called in sick for two days. I felt a bit off. Today I had coffee moments and I baked for Sunday. It's been productive and usefull for a Saturday. I baked stuffed Speculaas, since Sinterklaas entered the Netherlands, and our 'Sinterklaasperiode.' Has officially started today. 

I will share this tomorrow afternoon. It's spiced cookie stuffed with almond paste, and decorated with almonds and eggwash. I smuggled with a package. It's an art to make this from scratch, but that's too expensive during this crisis. It requires fresh cookie spices and a special technique. It will be something for after the crisis. I think my fellow clients and care staff won't mind about it, though. It's perfect weather for this. All gloomy and dark. I couldn't cover my entire top with Speculaas dough, so I tried to fill in the gasp with almonds. haha, I hope that won't be an issue either. Usually the dough from those packages comes spare. I had to roll the bottom out with a rolling pin. I should try a smaller springform. (This is a square springform) but it was about 24 cm on the package, and this is about it. I think they don't mind, but it was a bit off a jigsaw to fill it in.  

I slept little, I start to become a little weary. I get up too early. Around 5.00 AM, and I can't sleep much longer. I start to feel it, also mentally. It happens too often for me to sleep so little. Mental patients need their sleep, and they need a lot off sleep. I have to get out at 8.00 AM for medication, officially. But that happens barely. I also got in quite late. Well I never worry, now that is a lie (- Under the Bridge, Red Hot Chilli Peppers.) I think I will get in early with an 'if necessairy.' extra medication. And my head hurts from voices, it's a bit buisy in my head. I should stop overthinking things. Finally put a dot after it, and end the tale. But it keeps on bugging me. I have been through a lot. It's difficult to forget. And the voices keep on creeping up. 

This is what I'm doing at this moment: I have tea, but this picture is not made on this day, but I have too many tea pot and tea glass pictures on my phone. So it's replacable. I'm having green tea, since it was on a discount and I ordered a stock off it. I love green tea. It's a healthy heart enhancer. And it's good for you when you drink it without sugar, on a regulair base.

My headache is getting too much, I end today's story here. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

   

Good morning at the 1st off October, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and rainy outside. It's early in the morning, and it's a serious potential for a day in Autumn. 

*

In front off me is a pot off detox tea, it's almost 6 AM and it's very early. I could not catch sleep anymore. I always wake up early these days. But I suspect I have slept enough. 

I decided to try 90's clothes. The cool, modern 90's style that's in fashion everywhere. Because it's cool and still edgy, and the feeling off anarchy that comes from 90's grunge appeals to me. It's to my liking. 

What's also to my liking, is that to look young and fresh, make up is not required in modern times. Most women don't wear it on a daily base if they're young, and if you have a young face, like me, you get away with it claiming I'm 7 years younger than my age, and honestly, I do get away with it... 

This is what I look like when 'I feel like it.' And I'm glad I don't need that much make up to look like I can do. I need to pluck and moisturize. And keep clean. But honestly, I can pass for 25, and that generation doesn't wear much make up, so I can pass with it. I have my own beauty secrets, but too much make up has never been one off them. Actually, that would have worked kinda contra. So, I could reccomend to my readers to wear little to no make up on a daily base if they dare. and rather care for your natural beauty. It's in fashion nowadays. 

And yes, 90's grunge. Just too awesome. I'm a 90's kid, so rumor has it I should wear it these days. All off it makes me still look young and fresh. Life is as dull as you make it, so, yes to beauty treatments and cool clothes! Also if you have to live in here, like me. 

Allright, that's about it for now, it's about time to drink my tea. 

Thank you for reading.