Good morning everyone,
It's dark and cold outside.
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I had visions about fashion Gothic being the total It-style off the 30's. Why can't it be? Wasn't it to be found one off the prettiest styles off recently? Why can't we, Fantasy alternatives, ever be totally It? It has been like this since ages. We are totally peeved and looked down upon by the fashion industry, but some time ago the trend was totally fashion Gothic. I adored it. I would love that to come back, I'm always hiding I'm alternative to the audience, I finally could come out for it when everyone started wearing Dr. Martens in public. It was so cool. So beautifull. Even I dared to be more out in the open. There's a hole in my heart, and a stone in my stomach it's not more widely accepted. But the whole fashion loving town was taking part off it, when Versace and Chanel started to make work off it. I think I finally would have gotten away with it with my old peers at school. It always has been forbidden for me to be a public alternative by them. I don't see them anymore, but you can probably imagine. It's like I'm secretly a werewolf or so, they where not allowed to know. Nowadays I'm far more public with it, on Facebook, but we broke all contact. They're kinda short minded people. But deep inside I hope fashion Gothic made them think it a bit diffrently, or maybe they started following a fashion trend, something as simple as that. It's not a feeling or a philosophy with them.
It's such a stone in my heart, coming to think it can never be accepted by the main crowd. I don't look alternative here, but hey, we're at a mental institute with old people with mental issues, and it's not appropriate. I look dull and boring on a daily base. I had a time where I tried to look like a Wolf Witch Warrior, and showing you're pagan can be done in many ways. I'm still pagan, still a witch. But secretly. This place is old fashioned, conservative and Christian. And it makes me look like a shabby old tramp not to get in trouble with them, there's also something against looking too expensive. To people from the past, it might seem a bit aso even to look like this. But it's my way to adapt to the surrounding. I'm always in situations where it's not appropriate to be a heathen in public. This country still has rules about that. Nowadays I do my utmost best to be off taste to old people. At leat they're nice to me. But you get it: I better don't be over the top. But it's not too bad since they have good taste in music. I love listening to their music. After breaking up with Vana Events, it did not feel too bad. But it's a stone in my heart. I'm a witch on Facebook, but not in their face, I would get in trouble with it and they would hate me for it.
My kind off spirituality has never been publicly accepted, not as much as some time ago when it was everywhere, and it started to be a little more accepted, but sometimes this country almost do it for it, and it's stuck up again against pagans like me. I'm lucky to have my mom to discuss things with, and I read books about subjects. But still, despite the fight for equality and justice, we're still seen as obscene by the establishment. I hate it.
Allright, that's about it for now-
Thank you for reading.
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