Good evening at the 2nd off April, 2026.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been a changing yet dreary day in The Netherlands. 

*

This week, I made this necklace at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk, The Netherlands. And it will be for sale in their gift shop. I'm a bit more creative lately. At times, I got really inspired. I also designed tulip postcards. Also for sale in their gift shop 

They found my tulips very pretty. It's available to be send for everyone interested. My grandma is the biggest fan, she purchased the entire set. And the previous jewelry set has been sold. It's getting somewhere, people think I make pretty items. Inspiration is sacred. 

Aside from creativity, (With their materials, let's be honest, I could never afford that myself. And I personally don't profit from it, the upbring is entirely for their small gift shop) I'm a bit down in spirit, a bit more unstable and sensitive. I'm happy creativity flows, so it can breathe a little. But it's not easy. This time is not easy. I'm over-thinking and overly sensitive. It can be a bit hyper in my mind. Life is beautifull, but things are insanely painfull, and sometimes I try to figure out mankind, but it usually hurts and I still don't have a clue. Mankind is cruel. Difficult... I wish for a better climate in it, but it feels impossible. I'm so gratefull for Leviaan. They keep me standing while I would break from it otherwise. Leviaan is the care home organisation I live in. It hurts big time, always having people against me, and the world being so cruel. It feels lonesome. Inspiration feels gratefull. Or so to say, I feel gratefull for inspiration. The card set's name is Zaandijk Beltaine, but I think they won't accept, and I did not make it the official name. Tulips at the month off may, with the sun in Taurus and the moon in Scorpio and the Beltaine energy in the air off floral Zaandijk feels magic. Almost given from the gods. The fairies out and the garden off our place being so beautifull, covered in flowers with the cherry blossoms out. It's god given. It looks magical, and it makes me feel gratefull to be alive. People might think it's a bit out off place, ancient magic and typical Dutch floral beauty, but I think it connects perfectly when it's out in the month when it's supposed to blossom. It's spectaculair. Everything else goes backwards and is impossible nowadays, but the gardens bloom lovely. Nature is inspiring, and gives strength. It doesn't withhold answers, sometimes it's what I overthink myself, what comes to me, and it becomes how I personally see things and how I think about things. I'm a bit phillosophicall. It triggers both and makes me come to interesting conclusions at the same time. It might be a little bit strange, weird little me... Overthinking is difficult. To keep a bit off track off life, I like to keep things simple in life. Simple, yet meaningfull... Everything else is already complicated. It's easily a bit too much with everything going on in my head. And it hurts... litterally. I always have headaches from overthinking. It's why I'm in here. Life is difficult to figure out. I wish I could find a clue. But probably, it's impossible, and that's why I'm in here. Due to an over-active mind. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good afternoon at the 16th off February, 2026.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is cold and grey in The Netherlands. 

*

I already set up my Easter Branch, and other Easter decorations, very cute, very deliberate early. I was pretty early with my Easter Branch, it has all kinds off decorations from previous year onto it, and it's in an old vase. 

It's snowing outside at times. It's still February, but we got an early Easter. 

I'm in a phase off over-reactive acting, I'm not myself, I'm hyper-energetic, doing all sorts off things, over-shopping, spending too much money. It's not good for me. I already foresee it's going to go wrong with me one day, and I should take it easy instead. Take it more calmly, simply not over-do things. I'm off minded and I believe I'm delusional. I'm acting weird. I can't sleep well at night, this morning was for 02.00 AM awake, and 05.00 AM showering. It's like that, -Like that. I know more psychiatric patients got this. My head is crowded, too full to read novells or write poetry. I try to cook simple yet healthy receipes to set off my mind, like apple sauce and tomato soup. I do a lot, but it's not much off a set off. It's over-reactive and strange. Like with this, it's hard and close to obsessive. Not preferable. I got a strange tense. I have to take it more easy. Like a stressed chicken. 

I'm already proud I got my Easter decorations on, it's early, but last year I did not do so at all. Out off some sort off grump. Maybe I do feel a bit guilty about that. Luckily the Elders still like what I cook, Often I cook for my friend, the retired zookeeper, he says my food is delicious. The tomato soup got approved off, luckily I'm not so far off I don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen anymore. But cooking every day would be too much to handle. I'm lucky to live in a care home. It's done for me three times a week. And they make delicious foods. Life is tough, but it's manageable. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 16th off February, 2026.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's freezing cold with snow on the streets. 

*

It's monsters! It's irresistable, fuzzy, cozy, fluffy green and purple HEMA hug-monsters! 

I purchased them as gifts for my brothers, my brothers are only about two or three years younger than me,  about 30 and 31, so it might seem a bit stange to random strangers why I would do this. But we always have been sorta geeky. So it's not a bad thing to do funny, random stuff like this as gifts. I think these are sooo cute. 💖 Simply to give them away is a good idea. They come from HEMA's, and by the end off the week I will attend to my famiy and I will have some nice gifts for them. 

I have been feeling off these weeks, bad in my skin, delusional, bad sleep, I watch my food, but it's mainly normal food. I feel emotional and gloomy, and I'm often moody and a bit emotional. I keep on having delusions about being followed, It's winter and the snow makes me a bit frightned, about not being into reach for delivery services like PicNic for groceries. Fear is a deep emotion in me, we're kinda stuck in here when it snows. I have been up ever since 02.00 AM, I just showered, I could not catch sleep anymore. Worrying sucks. It shows on my skin. I'm growing old.... Time stands still and passes by, nothing moves with. I'm just growing old. I maintain to look young, but I feel older than I am. On the inside, I feel as old as the mountains, while on the outsde, I'm as young as a breeze. I should maintain youth on my face. It's a waste to look too old on my face. I like the idea off myself as an ageless vampire. Somewhere around 26, I stopped ageing and  I still look stunning. It's perfect.. It's not to complain about, you'd mistake me for a 26 year old if you'd see me. I'm proud I maintained such good health, I would like to stay that way, really pricking out eyes off people my age with this stunt. They live so unhealthy... I would be karma to their face if they'd see me, all young and pretty while passing by. It would be perfect. I may sound like a bitch, but I'd think that would be so funny. If I would maintain good sleep, and be certain medication grants me long live and vitality. If you want to know, I do all these things most people don't do volunteerly and usually dislike or hate. Like eating as good as all vegetables and fruits, little snacking, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no make-up, no sugar in coffee or tea, no high-processed drinks, those sort off things. It's just that I'm medical obese, but with bloodtest results to be proud off. And I adjusted the gym every once a week to it. I feel proud off living healthy. It's just mental issues, being mental a bit moody and bad in skin. And offcourse, that impossible plus-size. I hope the gym will work against it.                                                                                                                                                             

Allright,   

That's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 22th off December, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a cold and dark morning in The Netherlands. 

*

I worry a lot, I shouldn't, but it happens. I worry about starving fellow clients who eat bad, and about my mom who cooks cheap and unhealthy. I should not mention everything, that can be shamefull for them, but I worry about their health. It's on the poor side in my part off the world. I myself eat healthy, but I'm also hungry often, from eating moderate. More moderate than what it used to. If I eat in moderation, fruit, vegetables, brown bread and healthy meals are still possible. Just like tea and milk. So I can feed myself. It's the holiday month, so I have a little extra with my coffee or tea when people are generous, but usually I don't. And If I have it's picture worthit. I get by, but I worry about others. If they can pass healthy. I decided I want to eat healthy during this crisis, despite everything being expensive. I save on other things. I'm sober with stuff, I don't even buy books anymore. There was a time when I spend money on novells aside to food. And it's not due to lack off money I saved on them, it's due to lack off motivation to read I don't buy those anymore. I had a thing for Japanese literature, usually containing cats. It's a bit basic how I live. But if times are expensive and uncertain, that's how we do. Still, at the moment I'm reading one off them, I have been hoarding quite a few. And there's still Japanese books I wish to read, despite the fog in my head. I got quite a pile. So it's not completely dry how I live. At the moment I read this book: 

 It does not has an English translation, sometimes Japanese books are only translated in Dutch. It's really feelgood. But I haven't added a new book to the 'to read' pile in a while. Still, it's piling. But that's the only thing my money went to this year. Healthy foods, and books. I have been behaving so poor, it's almost unbearable if I was an ordinairy person, but I had to tolerate poverty ever since early youth. It's been a bit harsh, but not undoable. I have been poor ever since I was 16. What can I say? Unemployed and mentally ill. Strange enough, I can cope with this crisis. 

But I should shove this weblog back on topic: I worry. Other people are not me, and I wonder how families are to be fed if this continues. One day, this will end. I'm certain. One day in the future, it's done with poverty on food and we can sigh in relief. I'm kinda certain about it, but it's difficult. The next year, will still be extreme. I'm doing hard from it. I can feel so guilty when someone is doing worse than I do. But I keep on continueing my standard, I still got to eat. I have to feed on healthy foods. I can't ditch it in my opinion because someone has low standards. They would not for me, so why would I for them? 

Last thing I wish to share, a picture off my dessert from last night: 

 

It's been low fat peach fruit yoghurt with fruit salad on top. It's been delicious, yes, I still eat dessert. I prefer healthy dessert, but I still eat it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 10th off December, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a dark and stormy night outside in The Netherlands. 

*

How to fight the blues, the worst poverty, the hunger, the ratchetness and the vulgairity? Simply by doing house chores and stay basic clean. Be a homemaker and keep the place tidy enough to keep it sane and very comfortable, and keep yourself clean up to a basic despite most people are poor. 

You might think I joke, but these basics can prevent the situation to become worse, and keep us healthy and comfortable in our own home during these expensive times. It doesn't has to be expensive to stay tidy, as long as you do it. It doesn't matter if the floorwash is cheap, as long as you weekly mop the floor with it. Just like brushing teeth: It has to happen. We're at that stupid point where ordinairy people stopped doing it. And start to look like street filth to me. I don't care if you think I'm unemancipated, at least I can stand this war appropriate and we can't say that about you to begin with. I think this would be less painfull if we could keep our dignity despite being poor. That's my opinion. 

I'm not a fashionista and I have never been, but I think I look better than the gross majority out there nowadays. Clean is a must. I don't care if they keep me for old fashioned, at least I can pass. I have never been a make-up princess from the past, but at least my face is clean and my clothes are tidy enough. And my hands are clean and groomed. That's how we do it during a war. I hope this ungrooming phenomenon among young people is a war phenomenon, and not something that will be continued. Offcourse I feel with those who can't afford a clean outlook, they have no choice. but those who choose to, should re-think themselves. Utmost basics in cleanliness should even be taught at schools in a time where people are hopelessly filthy. It has to do with health and hygiene. It's a basic in health care. But I'm preaching like an ass, so I should beware. 

I think I better end this weblog with a picture off my last night's dessert: 

Low- fat forest fruit yoghurt with fresh raspberries on top. It was delicious. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 14th off November, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's dreary and rainy outside. 

*

I would like to share some images off my foods off the previous days, some where really good. Like the bowl off vla with a doll up off whipped cream at my parental home after dinner, and my attemps at oven baked carrots in diffrent shades, and my dessert. Low fat peach yoghurt with pommegranate seeds. All too delicious. I should clean the kitchen today, but I'm almost dying out off headache. I'm about to see General Practice about it. It's really wrecking to be as stressed as I am. Maybe I'll clean my kitchen this afternoon. I would do good about it. Being schizo and on meds almost kills me. My head hurts incredibly, I could move planets, stars, whole galaxies, space ships with this feeling off incredible pain... I have never felt it this bad before. Just too much, and always late in the evening when I go to bed. It's impossible to sleep with it. General Practice and mental health should know what to do with it.    

I think my carrots can almost pass for Christmas. They where delicious. I'm dizzy from headache, unstable on my feet. I hope something can help for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 5th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny yet cold in The Netherlands. 

*

It could also be possible, peace will be upon us in July, and the worst case scenario won't come true. The worst case is when we have to shut down the energy in this country, and we have to surrender to Russia as Europe. In 2028. It's really worst case, it could also be peace in July, Then we'll be less doomed. Since it's loss off face if we have to give in to Russia forced. It's a possibility. It's a disaster if I just hope for the best. Lights and traffic lights, aside to the railroad at night- all will be shut down to save the country energy in the future if it continues like this, and by then we still can't afford. It's really hopeless. We can do so with pride, or really lose our dignity as Europe, and countries will look down upon us. Our high position could have never been lower if we lose our dignity to Russia. And they waltz over us. It's worst off the worst case. Our whole status will be ruined by not surrendering in time. It's not how or if we win, but how we lose. With or without our faces still on. 

I've also seen they will shut the lights to big touristic spots, like the Eiffel tower or Brandenburger Tor if they can't afford the energy for it anymore, and they'll be as poor as a rat when that happens. And that is in the darkest off years, in 2027. Short before forced surrendering. Please, if you have any pride left, lose with pride. Or The Wargirl really will be the '20's muse off the decade. This might happen if it lasts too long. It's the downfall off society. We have no choice. We can safe what's left by surrendering in time. 

And the worst off the worst, when everyone in Western Europe is forced to shut their energy from 21.00 untill 05.00 AM for three winters long. To safe energy. It's been all in my visions. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 4th off May, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been a cold and cloudy day in Spring in The Netherlands. 

*

I don't use a sixth sense here, but somehow my common sense tells me the situation in the world won't change soon. It's really pulvering teeth while gritting what you have left off them. But don't pinch-point me at it. 

Today was a calm Sunday with little going on, except baking an easy cake. With a cake mix and eggs donated to me. All I had to add was cream butter, a fancy serving plate and milk. Tomorrow, at our Liberation Day, we will have a slice off cake with our afternoon coffee. 

I hope people can appreciate this version, usually it's with added fruits or dried fruits to it, but this year that was a little too pricey. And this is done with donated stuff and devotion. I really took my time preparing it. It wasn't done with everything added all at once, like the instructions might sugest. I did more like a French professional, eggs one by one adjusted to it. And milk at last. I think we got a more airy cake than what you got if you dump everything in your batter bowl all at once. It looks more big. And I know people love these cakes when I lay a little heart in them and bake them that way. But, yeah, no additions other than basic cake ingredients. Even the fancy serving plate comes from a give away shop. It's half a work off charity. A quarter off it is love. I hope people can appreciate. 

I have mild sleeping issues recently, I got up during midnight, or very early. Simply to haunt the internet or my diary. I go back to bed when I get tired, but it's becoming a pattern, and it's hard to break. And that fighting with death at night... I have this issue where I think I'm about to die when I'm in bed. Really troublesome. It never happens, it's just that annoying feeling. I simply, silly wake up the next day. I think my body is still going strong, so I won't die. It's just... really difficult. It's frightfull. 

The life off a home maker is still nice with me. Doing basic chores, making sure the home is nice, Though I don't have a husband. But I feel comfortable and almost safe at home when I do it like that. I can be annoying and flip, but at least I have this place. Be as sick and annoying as I please in the safety off this small care home. Well, at least it's a clean home. Or at least I try to. It's messy, but clean enough and cozy. Perfect for me. While NATO planes fly over, (On the other side off the country, but they do fly there.) and police helicopters seek for scum around this area, this place is clean and comforting. Sometimes it's so important and it's all we need. 💖 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 26th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a fresh night tonight in The Netherlands. 

*

It's 4 AM, I've slept, I'm sitting here in the living room, writing this to you, as good as pain free. But let's not outcall the gods. I decided to stay home this Kingsday, and do it in moderation. I don't feel much for celebrating Kingsday this year, but I'm willing to eat an orange Tompouce pastry for The King at de Boed today. I might come off as an old crank. It's just a way off perceiving things this year. I think The King is a spoiled man, who actually doesn't deserve this during a crisis like this. But then I would steal away a beloved party from The People. That's the other side off the story and we can't do that either. People love Kingsday. It's just that The King could do less spoiled in times like this, but that's my opinion.  I painted my nails orange, though. Simply not to fall out off tune with other people today. 

But my pain has faded and I'm doing almost fine. I can sleep on my side. But let's not sigh too early in relief, let's take it slowly so I can be utmost certain. I think it would be outcalling the gods if I would visit mom. I sighed a bit too early last week, and I started to feel it directly afterward. So I had to call it off. Really, I had to skip Easter from pain. I wish to visit at Mother's day, but that's way ahead. 

These days are for spending a lot off time at home. I'm unemployed, but to keep myself buisy, I do home work like cleaning. Keeping my tables tidy, doing dishes at least once a day, keep the laundry up to date, and yesterday evening was for cleaning my grill. Really, household jobs can be vulnerable. I got help with laundry folding, cleaning the bed sheets and vacuum cleaning, but I mop the floor myself each week. And I clean the toilet. This home is still on the messy side, but at least it's getting somewhere clean. I open curtains and windows each day for fresh air. It's been hard to get me at that point. I was a real slouch with a messy home. But as I'm getting older and this whole crisis thing continues, I'm getting more and more tidy. I think them lazy slouches are a bit jealouse, but most people are proud off me. They'd declare me a lunatic if I would call it wealth, but it sure is luxury to have a clean grill. 😉 

Isn't it a fundament off most religions worldwide, to be clean? Cleanliness is next to godliness. Christianity, Islamic, Jewish, Buddhistic, all swear by clean houses off prayer. I think it's much better than filthy messes to burn incense in. It's just that it stays more in the home and the near surrouding than to go in the outside world when it's this fresh and clean in my home. That's what I mentioned. Maybe that's a more safe option than to seek it too far off, or merely, it's all I can handle at the moment. And this home is the place I can be found most off the time. So why seeking it in the outer world? Maybe the Universe is more common sensed than I think. It's more in the home or the close surrounding when I burn incense now. But why would I need something far off to work? To stay home is safe. It works for me at the moment. 

These are pictures I blogged about some time ago, from fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. It's just that the link failed when trying to share these. Today it works. I went out short before Easter and pictured these. My close surrounding can be so beautifull and pittoresque. It's really lovely. It's national heritage. Simply to be here is no punishment. It's beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a lovely Easter day in Spring. Beautifull and nice. 

*

I promised to post a picture off my Easter tulips. Here they are, they're a bit wreched, a bit crooked, but everything goes well if you know how to photograph. 

Easter wasn't too bad. I have been enjoying it outside nearby our koi-carp pond. With the neighbourhood cat to keep me company. Sacha the cat is really my friend. She is a tortoise shell and said to bring luck according to the Japanese. She lives in a home nearby. It wasn't too bad due to the sun and petting Sacha. 

I have been worrying, over-thinking. 'All those small things people aren't concerned with anymore... I still do these. But aren't they stupid for not doing so? why don't they still do these?' 'Why the hell do you think they don't do them anymore?' Something replies back in me. They're too buisy at their job or with their friends, at life. I've had that feeling for a long time. 'Why don't they do so anymore?' But I think people are too buisy, their minds too caught up with other things. But sometimes I feel what I do should also be done, still. But they say I should not over-worry. It's a flaw in me. It's why I'm in psychiatric health. See. Two days off bad medication intake and I start it again. This morning went well, by the way. My failed career at school started by wanting to change the world. And it failed at worrying. I worry about things nobody seem to do anymore. Them lazy slouches probably have a clearer mind. That's why they're no mental patients. 

I constantly think 'oh, someone should do this or that, or it should go with a little more care or diffrent.' I might be a little obnoxious. I can't do it myself to begin with. I think I have too much heart or a diffrent mindset that does not make sense. Something from an era where people still cared. Some place, somewhere, some time, long ago. But that can't be. I'm a bit annoying with it. The opposite off love is not hate, it is indiffrence. I see it constantly happening. That's why things go bad in my opinion. Because they don't care anymore. And the crisis makes it worse. They where not concerned to begin with, and now everything has to go cheap or be skipped due to money. Will the world still be allright after this? I know it will keep on turning, but will it still be allright? And will things withstand? I probably got nothing better to do than to worry about these things. Especially when I'm badly medicated I'm like this. They say I should not be concerned. Since it's bad for my health. 

I can take deep breaths and sneeze again, it's only a pinch point off sore in my side for the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Merry Easter to all. 

It's cold and cloudy outside in The Netherlands. 

*

I'm typing you this while my nails dry. I don't look that Easter best, I'm a bit slouchy this year, but at least my nails look almost a statement pink. For fancy and almost tidy occasions, I think this shade rocks it. Otherwise I think it's a little bit loud on people. I should not tell them what to do, but it's how I feel about it. But Easter actually feels like the perfect occasion for such a shade on my nails. It's not too loud or too heavy today. 

Yesterday I felt like shaking up them lazy slouches by tidying up my living room table, and serve myself tea with a pistachio pastry and Easter eggs really cute. And show the world. Really fancy, really nice, during a vintage era like this, this is almost pride. You could say. And the lazy slouches had a hard time dealing with it and gossiping about it loud and stupid. I think some women in the fantasy scene are really stupid and lazy when it comes to these sort off things. Slouching it like pigs. During a war in this style, that is not appropriate. I might be a little insane, but it's how I try to keep spirits up. Unemancipated? Might be. honourable? Yes. That's more off the thing. I think we're about to lose the war, but can we at least keep spirits up or try to? Or am I the only one who does that? The foods on my table are simple but good, my table is clean and I still feel well and not depressed. Maybe due to household duties to keep me strong. And the whole style I try to put up with it. But just for myself. Most men have never proven themselves worthit. So I put on all off this just for silly old me to have a comfortable living in this world during this time and day off being. 

Why am I awake at night? I feel I'm fighting death again. When I put myself to sleep, my head is wreched and I feel I'm almost dying. I can't catch sleep due to it. It's not my side that hurts, it's really my head that plays games with me. I'm a sucker who forgets her pills in the morning. I take them around noon from forgetting them for two days in a row. That's almost asking for it. Health care thought it would be a good idea for me to take controll off my own medication intake. But I have told them ahead I would mess with it and be forgetfull. But that's why my head is toiling a bit and doing hard with me. I have told them I'm an idiot with it, but where they to listen? Nah-ah. 

Chocolate is really expensive these days. but I think I do well for ignoring that, and not buying it that much. This Easter it's just one bag off plain dark, milk and white chocolate eggs during Easter itself. I don't crave 300 flavors and even more Easter rabbits for this year. Simply not purchasing, just like Christmas cookies. You could almost feel I'm unemployed on my pictures about it. Barely any sweetness for me during these holidays. Though I found out Pistachio in a pastry tastes great. 

   

It's something to give lazy slouches a headache with. And to enjoy Easter with, offcourse. A clean, lucky and almost organized home maker can still show this off to the world. It's my humble idea off pride nowadays. I should not over-act on it, though. That's almost seeking for trouble. And this picture does not show I'm unemployed. On other hand, I think this is good enough. (That deserves it, at least.) If I tidy up tomorrow morning, I'm all steady for a lonesome Easter 2025. I don't even have my family in my surrounding this year, but at least my care home does it for me. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 19th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning it's sunny and cold in The Netherlands. 

*

It's something for the headlines off the news, I've slept through for a whole night! It's really an appropriate morning, and the sore in my chest is reduced. It's still there, and it's still bothering me, but it's acceptable and something I can live with for now. Only if I breathe in real deep or sneeze it's still there. Still enough being felt to stay at home for it. It's not done, but I could sleep on my side tonight. 

I'm baking off two cinnamon buns for breakfast. It's not Easter yet, but they where calling my name from the freezer. At least to eat goes well. In moderation, since I can't call the amounts for Easter foods scrumptious. It was one hell off pricey, but I got little amount for it. Still I think it's going to taste well. But really, these amounts are hell to pay if you have a family. I'm glad I don't have one. Still, Easter. I think many a picky care taker would not call me out for eating too much with these scandalous sober amounts. 

But yeah, I've slept untill 8 this morning. Being in bed wasn't so hurtfull 💖 Maybe next week I will hand out the Easter chocolates to mom if the curing proces goes this well. I'm not like Miss Piggy, getting up from a surgery table all at once yelling 'I'm cured!' Naw, this sore is quite serious. But this place is so beautifull, it's almost a crime to go home from here during Easter. It's authentc, covered in flowers, and incredibly, timelessly springy beautifull this year with the cherry blossoms all out. It's a dream this Easter. So, I don't mind to stay. I'm photographing all the beauty this year. It's like the 1930's and 40's, where everyone had to live it sober, while the farmers and the village folks still had a little luxury with everything in bloom. It's timeless and lovely. Yesterday I pictured fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. I love it, and more will follow. So my Easter isn't all ruined. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading   

  

Good evening at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

*

Today was for General Practice. Appearently, they think I cramped or stretched a chest muscle. It's not really dangerous, it's just that it can last for a few weeks. I prefer my own home and my own bed when it comes to that. So, I stay at home this Easter. And I have to keep that spot warm. I have to find something for that. 

When it comes to Easter, I decided to purchase yellow tulips for the occasion. They're on my dressoir in an antique vase from the family. I bought them on the way home from General Practice. And I decided to eat nice meals and do a pastry this Easter. A coffee with a fellow client with an en Vogue pistachio pastry. I've read up somewhere pistachio is the trend for this Easter. 

My plates are one hell out off fashion, but I serve good foods on them. And to be honest, I don't like the current Easter trends. My shirt is a bit Easter Fashion. But leave it at that, I think the current fashion in dining is a bit rough in it's lines. I think it was cheap to develop. It's not refined, where I prefer more cozy details. But if you'd want dining plates like that, from, say, Pip studio in The Netherlands, you'd pay the head price. I can see why that's not actually fashion. But it comes off as if current Easter dining trends look a bit cheap compared to previous ones. But maybe that's this year. I feel I should fall back on the timeless and the classics not to fall out off style. Or my own feeling off style,  (Classic is out off style this year. But it was so pretty when it began these previous years.)

I miss the days where every farmstyle Belle could flaunt with her Pip Studio dish ware. Even my cousin had it. (I was too young and too poor for a set.) But that's really back in the days. I have to accept there's a time where I come off a bit old fashioned with what I got. Naw, I can't flaunt with the dishware, but at least I can flaunt with what's on top off it, at least that still stands. 

 I hope my tulips will bloom, They're still in the green knob at the moment. They deserve a picture on here when they stand all nice. 

Honestly, I made Easter less dry, but what is more off a dry Easter than one where laughing hurts like hell? Naw, that can't pass for a dark point in a crisis, where I have to keep myself in all the time not to hurt myself from laughing about my own jokes. I'm like the Brits, when it's bad, make sure you can laugh about it. Really, vreeting myself an incident was not the intention last week. They say this can lasts for a few weeks. I have to accept. Hopefully it will be over by next month. But let's simply await that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's softly raining outside. 

*

I'm sitting here with a pot off tea in front off me. I can't sleep anymore from pain in my chest. The Guardian Angels aren't really biting today. It hurts an awfull lot. It's 04.00 AM, I decided to spend Easter home alone, due to my bed being more comfortable when I have all sorts off pain to deal with. And mom not really being helpfull if I would go there. It's going to become a boring and dry Easter. I'm also recommended not to eat fat foods. I have to take it lightly due to these pains. And now we think it's not my stomach, but maybe a muscle in my chest. I have to call General Practice this morning. It's too much to sanely handle. 

To breathe deeply, to cough, to swoon, to laugh deeply- it all hurts too much due to the pain in my chest. It's so deep, it's almost unnatural. I hope it's not a heart attack due to greasy ordered foods. I can't get the clue to it, so I better don't analyze it myself. That would be unthoughtfull. 

It's really overwhelmingly big. Just like the headaches, but I got rid off them by drinking enough water. That's how I saved my life with that. Having pain that kills me in my chest is really hurtfull. I don't know how to get rid off it this time. I took painkillers. But I still feel it through medication.  It lasts ever since Sunday. It's really time to see the doctors for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 16th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's warm and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

My side hurts so badly, I can barely breathe. It's 04.00 AM, I've slept a few hours. Health care said they can't do anything for me untill General Practice opens. I'm hurt so badly, really, I'm not used to over-eating on such a scale. Usually I'm really prude with food. If that's the cause. I'm hurt, I can barely breathe or laugh, or cough. Yesterday evening I was doing really hard finding a position to sleep. I have a Guardian Angel LadyBug on the internet. Everytime I post a sore, he cures me kinda fast. That's what he does, that's why I'm so open about it. I believe if I post something on the internet, someone cures it with magic, or something reads it which cures it kinda fast and easy. Or I should see General Practice first thing tomorrow, and use common sense, though the Guardian Angel often also works for me. If he's still among my readers. 

It's a sign I don't vreet. Being hurt from feeding on take away this weekend is a sign I don't do it that much. Not as much as common youth, usually I'm more well-thought with it. But I can't withstand it, appearently. It hurts really badly. And it holds on for several days. Usually it vanishes more easily than this. I'm not used to this. Really, to take a deep breath already hurts. I had to pile up several thoughts and emotions yesterday evening. Because relieving them would have hurt too much. We're almost three days further now, and I think to see a doctor is not a bad idea. Laughs already hurt. It's not preferable for me to have this issue. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 15th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's somewhat warm tonight. 

*

I'm out off bed with a stomach ache. I have to take it calmly for the next few hours. My body digests the foods from this weekend a bit slow. 

I'm doing a bit floaty. I have been following the news these days. The subjects are really interesting. People say you better don't follow the news, but I think I better do, to be informed about what's going on in the world nowadays a bit. It's better than knowing nothing. They can tell you anything if you don't watch. If you watch it like a great adventure, it's not as damaging than when you watch with your whole heart in. At least that's what works for me nowadays when I watch it. Contrairy I'm like 'Oh, my favourite soap starts at 8.' but that's my cynism. Sometimes I watch a TV show after it, sometimes I quit watching TV for that night, but then at least I know what's going on. It's better to be informed than to stick your head in the sand. At least I watch only once a day. I'm not a news junk, but just slightly informed. 

I think, this year it does not matter not to be festive with Easter. I will attend at my mom's, but I'm thinking off doing so only for one day. I don't feel like celebrating it this year. It's not really important if I do so or not. If I would have children, it would have been diffrent. But I'm an old spinster without, so I don't disrupt anyone for not celebrating. Just a matter off how I feel it this year. Photographing flowers is my ode to Spring for this year, I'm not Christian, usually Easter marks the beginning off Spring and celebrating Spring alltogheter for me. But this year I don't feel like it. I just don't know if my photography counts for the Easter gods. I've just been told that it's really good. So maybe it's not that bad at all to do this instead off celebrating Easter. I think it doesn't matter for the cause off Ukraine wheter I celebrate it or not at all. It's not important. But it's up to me. I haven't even eaten Easter chocolates. My mom ordered some from the local chocolate shop, I bought them for her, so I think my first Easter chocolate for this year will be at Easter itself. I haven't had a rabbit or an egg so far. I'm that much off an Easter Grinch this year. I think it should be integrit this year. But that's my opinion. I also don't feel for Kingsday this year. I'm probably a bit off a crank. I think the king is a spoiled rat during this time and day off being, during this crisis. And the royal arrogance doesn't speak to me this poor year. He doesn't deserve to be celebrated this year. I think it doesn't matter wheter I celebrate or not. It's not off importance. I just don't feel for the nation wide festivities. I'm not in a mood for parties and celebrations. It feels inappropriate this year. It just doesn't speak to me. 

What do I feel for? Small comfort. Healthy foods, comfort reading, such things. Not really big parties. Something with both feet on the ground. It doesn't matter, the world is not saved by it. It's just this soft attack off mine, to skip on festivities. But I hope they understand. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 15th off March, 2025, 2.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's still very cold and dark outside in the Netherlands. 

*

What I think is going to happen with the war, is an ink black scenario where it will end in negative doom, and we can't help changing it for the positive. It's not given to anyone to foresee, it's just that it's ink black, and I think it's best today than tomorrow to end those predictions here, and just show nice cakes and bakings and household items on here so further. I can't predict, it's too heavy. It's just very negative, and no mortal should see it. And that for years off coming. Don't take it too lightly. With lots off money on spare, and billions spend on warfare. It's not fair, but it's what's going to happen. Next five years off crisis? At ease, at ease. But don't ask more from me. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 13th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and cold outside tonight. Very cold. 

*

I do hard sleeping. Usually I sleep untill some point between 3 or 5 at night, and then get out off bed for an hour or sleep won't get me anymore. It's a bit disturbing. disruptive, it makes me blog when I can't sleep at night. I wonder who reads these. But it's not as if these are less off quality than daily blogs. I take my time for these just as well. It's almost a habit these days, just like waking up at 5 AM was my previous one. But I decided I could not keep up with that one, so out off bed with a break and then going back in it is now. Otherwise I would have lacked more sleep. 

I had a massive headache these days, but it's been fading. I think it has to do with the news. I allowed myself not to follow it, and be in bed and rest instead. I have done so for two days, and my headaches are fading. It's not good to stick your head in the sand. Not preferable during this war! But against these tensions, a little rest works. I still feel I'm shaking on my feet from that strange cold. I took two paracetamole before bed but I'm awake now, and I still feel it. I think I have a real fever. But let's sit out my nightly break first before going back to bed again. I feel so tired and shakey, really awfull. I believe I should call in sick from coffee service this morning. I'm feeling really nasty. You could call all sorts off awfull things out loud on the internet and in public, and calling it 'your nasty cold.' But let's not do so. I'm rather at the edge off dying instead off feeling like shouting out stupid things. You can offend little people when you're sick in bad with your nasty cold. That's to say, if you don't have acces to a computer. 

I take real pride in coffee service with red statement lipstick on, so it's a bit off a bummer to have to skip it. Last week was not for red lipstick, but this week surely would have been. In this place, they appreciate my red statement lips, though over done make-up is seen as inappropriate. Especially for coffee service, they like it. Mind that these are cranky old frumps, not used to much. But they get the red statement lips and they love my coffee. It's bad not being capable to do so this morning. But sick is sick, and I should not overwork myself. Let's go back to bed, and see if I can get some more sleep. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 3th off March, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a dark and cold night in The Netherlands. 

*

I feel I'm full with inspiration to cook daring things. It's a bit outstanding, since lately I felt like preparing potatoes, vegetables and meat all the time. My way, it's delicious, but it's the other end off edgy, it's as dull as the streetbricks in this country where you can stil cook anything. 

What would work: An affordable Albert Heijn. And people who are less stuck up with our Dutch culture and tradition. It's just that this way off eating is very affordable, you get everything in when it comes to nutritions, and it can count on mass appreciation when you show such a plate on the internet. And it's good if prepared well. So it has it's pro's. During crisis, it feeds the nation, so I should not look down on it. It's just that untill the crisis broke out, untill I had to eat at de Boed actually, I could call myself a foodie. With several creative cookbooks on the shelves. By renowed Dutch chefs who have put their heart and soul in it. I loved trying all sorts off food, and work with receipes from these books and the internet. When eating at de Boed, I could display my talent several times. I was allowed to cook foods in their professional health care institute kitchen several times, and I had an almost professional soup kitchen where I could play. The results where always perfect. Always very satisfied eaters, fancy old audiences who could appreciate, and ratchet fellow client men with their heart at my feet for my food. 

I don't seek an audience for my food work these days. Just playing around in the kitchen would be great, like we used to in the good old '10's. It's just that it's more expensive than ever. I had a thought where with Saturn, Aries could grid the stones in it's stomach for these expensive prices, while with Uranus some time ago he could enjoy great foods. (Saturn in Aries will be from 2025 untill 2028, The Uranus in Aries transit was from 2011 untill 2019) Neptune, the great inspirator, will be in it for a longer period. And maybe it's Neptune that gives me that inspiration. It's just that sad insight that with Saturn in Aries, the world can grid the stones in their stomach when it comes to food. Just a sincere thought. Saturn in Taurus will give us the tableware but no foods on it, and Saturn in Gemini will finally make us (all, also the low incomes.) eat again in moderation. It's really a sad insight. With these food prices. I don't litterally have to grid stones, I have to duck prices with potatoes, vegetables and meat. And I heard the prices even will be increased. Just like the energy costs. You could say I'm lucky for not litterally having to grid the stones in my stomach, I should be gratefull for it, and a care taker would rant I'd better be, since 'there are so many sad and sore people who can't eat to begin with' and so on. It just doesn't make the foodie in me happy. Untill 2019, I had diffrent acces to foods, with affordable  XLAlbert Heijns beyond the corner. Or if it would have been like this, I would have just been stretching my leggs to Aldi and Lidl. But those times are over. I live very far off from shops in this current town. I mainly order from the Picnic grocery app. It comes in very handy, and it's fruits and vegetables always look perfect. I hope it's fresh fruits I can grid instead off stones. But I'm too poor to be working my hobby as a foodie. I can just still eat good. Old fashioned way healthy, and have three meals a day. But I'd better forget it when it comes to big masterpieces in the kitchen. I think the New Moon in Aries doesn't give the right inspiration this time, as a warming up to the upcoming transits. Planets in Aries make me very creative in the kitchen. It causes inspiration to do so. It's not known for it, but it has that effect on me. Combined with the old Pluto in Capricorn, my food was a true work off art at that time. I call it my Ikigai, like how Japanese call such energy. It's a waste off money nowadays. Money we better be spare with. 

'Armoede houd een mens knap.' (Poverty keeps a person decent.) Like how an old neighbour used to say often before she died. Being this poor, I don't have to be concerned causing witchcraft in the kitchen, and lose my mind over an own-thought out receipe and become delusional about something, and it gets too good to be true when I do so. Messy kitchens, and health care that can't keep me under control when I do so. I can't control myself when I let it run out too freely. But then I would finally be practicing a hobby again. Most off the time, I'm not that free anymore with creative energy. I keep myself a bit caught up. To not make this flat messy. Since they would not like me to do that. There's a lot off reasons to be moderate at the moment. But I feel inspired to do things. Maybe I should practice my inspiration a bit diffrent, or follow a few parts instead off some idiotic things. Otherwise I might fall in love with an unknown man again I got delusional about. Delusions can be that lethal. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

  

Good morning at the 9th off February 2025, 2.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is a cold yet cloudy day in the Netherlands. 

*

I think I should inform you about my bloodtest. My values where extraordinairy good. It was really remarkable according to them. I eat healthy. I think home cooking vegetables and potatoes and fresh meat most off the time on a budget and wishing to live healthy do give healthy options for basic food, and it pays off appearently. So it's nothing in my blood that causes head cramps. It's good, but it's annoying for them not to find a cause. I had a thought. 'A blood test for a headache mate? How's that supposed to be?' Like those two did not rhyme for the voice in my head. Some time ago I had to go an MRI-scan, and nothing visible was found in my brain when it comes to itches. So it's not visible or shown on tests what's wrong. I think I'm not over-acting. But that's all that I can say about it. I wonder what this is supposed to be, it's very annoying for them to find nothing, but that's as far as medical tests can help me. 

And I re-found the spirit to work in the home. Not play-pretending being someone's wife, but to see the importance off it during these days. I think I'm about to slack again when it's all over, or I'm perfectly drilled with it's importance. Then it grew in my system. It's a bit over-acting, but it works to keep a cozy home. I should keep up with it. And not get lazy or off-minded. It's part off having a home: homework. And nobody can deny, and when they do, they're filthy pigs. Which I try not to be. I play Irish folk all the time with my home work. It works well for me as home making music, to keep the spirit up. Doing dishes- The Dubliners. And my spirit to keep it agreeably tidy in here is back. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.