Good evening at the 15th off January, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was for winter showers off rain, hail and snow. 

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I got him in 2013. He was a Tuxedo cat, black and white, handsome, playfull and my mom got me him after my old cat died. She named him Tom. Back at the time I was attempting a study which I failed. I tried my best to raise him. He was quite a hand full and a bit naughty, but I felt we could figure it out somehow. 

But then Schizophrenia hit me quite hard, and I had to be in the mental hospital during the stage where kitties get attached to their owners. Say, November / December 2013. Luckily my younger brother took on him so well. I had failed life after getting out off the mental hospital, I was one big zombie. I had no mental power or energy to truly take good care off our pets anymore. Tom was more attached to my brother by then and I had the idea I had failed in raising him. He was doing hard getting attached to other people. What made it even worse, was that by September 2024, I had to go living in a care home in another place. Far from my parental home. So I barely got to see Tom anymore. He didn't like me and he was doing hard being gentle towards anyone else but my younger brother. Except that Tom loved to cuddle in my neck and purr very loud every often when I visited. But only when he got a bit used to my prescence in their surrounding. He wasn't my best friend. 

I didn't get to see him that much. I was working my ass off in Zaanstad at care homes and day care centres, only seeing my cat (Who had the paperworks changed to the name off my family back then, at first he was fully mine.) when I visited my family. He was doing well and adopted with care and love. Being friends with their other cats. It wasn't truly something to feel guilty over, it's just that I felt guilty about failing him. 

Tom had some issues with his liver recently. He had to get surgeries and medication he refused to take. He became more cuddly and attached after the surgeries. I don't know why, sometimes we see the light in the end, but it couldn't be helped: our cat died yesterday evening, and my family called me tonight he died yesterday. Waiting for my younger brother to have come home from work. He was his best friend and a perfect replacing cat-dad. I feel so sad over it. 

If I showed people a picture off Tom, they always said how beautifull he was. He was beautifull, a bit naughty, charming, and it's hard to have lost him. I wish I only would have been capable to take care off him better. But I never could and never could have done in the future. I was too sick. 

I thanked my brother for his good care off my cat, he did so perfectly. He was everything Tom could wish for. My brother is very sad about the loss. It's hard for this evening. 

This is my Tom, 

                                                             In memoriam, 2013-2024. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.