Yesterday, I heard A voice in my head, - that's not the best source for information, but it was something that got me angry, and in the mood even for writing on this suspicious weblog.
It told me there is A rumor going on about me hating on fellow fat people. - FYI, that's not true. I'm A big fan off body postive roll modelling, and body positive images, since I know like no other what it's like to be big. I don't know why A voice in my head told me that, alongside that I'm A pervert for hitting on ladybugs. (This is some sort off true, I'm afraid. I had an imaginairy, human like ladybug named Hector for quite A long time, and I loved him. I believe he helped me out soon after moving, but I really did came to love him like I woul love A crush, but he's some sort off gone off now. I have tried to draw him some time ago, but I doubt whethether I should share it. He was pretty cute, though.)
Allright, back on topic. I'm not someone who hates and harasses other fat people. I think everyone is worthit. I hate to be devaluated for being ugly and fat, so I would never for real do so on someone else. However, it's A rumour in my head about stupid people thinking so off me. Why would I even bother re-starting A blog and defend myself on something that just happened in my head? Probably because it got me still angry. The voice was gone off after my angry outburst to him. (Most off the time, voices aren't that intelligent and fade after you reply to them with A sincere wit. People should try that more often: If you have voices in your head, simply talk back to them, tell them their wrong and see what happens. It works for me.)
I'm not depressive anymore. I got nice neighbours and more on hand to keep me buisy than I had last year, I'm doing much better than before. But I say that everytime I think I'm doing well, to find out after A while that I didn't do well in that certain period.
How are we doing then? - Tired, fallen out off love recently, but I'm also proud I didn't steal someone from their relationship. I kept my appropriate distance instead off causing trouble, and I deserve A pat on my shoulder for that. I got my surrounding and my hobbies (I bake every often for the nearby community centre, which is most off the time highly appreciated.) which keep me on track. Even if I'm not actually doing well without being aware off it, I feel like life is going nicely and things work out well for me.
I'm not American, I live in the Netherlands, but I know it's thanksgiving soon, I wonder if I should make A pumpkin pie this week to share A bit in that spirit. Really, how can you hate fat people and being this fat yourself, if you love food so much? That just doesn't make true sense. Fat girls love their foods and just can't do without.
Allright, that's it for this evening. Thank you for reading.
XXX- Maaike.
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