Good evening at the 28th off January 2020

Good evening everyone.


Today was A day for using up applepie filling leftover to create A whole new applepie.
I think it just takes someone nice to share coffee and pie with to enjoy it. I think it's A bit off A pity to eat such A pie on my own.

It smells wonderfull, and my apples have been soaking in spices and honey for days for this one. I think I'll invite someone from my health care staff over for pie, since they are doing such good work for me, and deserve A slice off this. Traditional dutch applepie is supposed to have grid shaped dough on top, but usually I make my pies without that, and simply make it's crust A bit more thick. Usually I'm A bit irritated to have too little dough for that, but today I decided to use A rolling pin and I managed to give it at least two stripes on top. That's quite something for my applepie. It's made with lots off honey (I soaked my raisins in honey and left the sugar out) and A hint off star anise.

Despite it looking A bit spare on top, I'm known for being A good pie maker, My pie crust is famous, and I had several requests for this week to make A few for people around here. Two for A birthday, and one for someone who will have their aunt and uncle over for visit. I'm going to be buisy. I hope I can manage to make all off that pie this week in time. I practiced with this one for the matter.

I'm proud for having such A reputation among people. My dad was A perfect applepie maker aswell, I inherited his talent and I'm proud off that. I got taught how to cook well from my father. My family was quite emancipated with that. Like I probably said before, I think cooking isn't necessairily something conservative, but merely something fun.

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My diet for this week simply didn't last, I think I'll see how I feel about it for now, and simply give it another try when I feel like it. You can't diet and love unhealthy baking alltogheter, that much is too true. But I decided to share bakings with people and cut my intake that way. Though today wasn't A good day for enlowering my calorie intake, and my coffee intake. I mention that when it's about time to sleep and I feel I sleep worse these three days than I did previous week, I think I'll get A hold on myself before it gets out off hand. I allow myself only three small cups off coffee each day, and it works. Today I had three large mugs off coffee, and I'm afraid it's too much, but I enjoyed drinking all off that coffee since I love coffee. 

I think I need A man to help me to eat my foods, if I would share my food with A special someone, I could enlower my overweight A bit. It's A joke I crack often when I have prepared too much for myself. 'I could use A man with this.' The same counts for that large amount off coffee. If I would have shared it with someone, I would probably sleep better tonight. On the other hand, I could also keep A hold on how much food I prepare, but that's A bit hard. Life is quite good, despite not having A relationship, although with this I could use A man who loves the way I cook. And who loves me, someone fun to chat with while having that food would be nice either. Someone not too over-ruling would be nice. I had two large chocolate bars today and yesterday, for example. I could have easily shared half off them with someone.  

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Moonlight drama 

I purchased A lamp in the shape off the moon some weeks ago. I tried to buy that same kind off lamp online two years ago but I didn't receive it, and lost about 30 euro's on it. It got advertised on facebook and I wanted to buy it.  I felt annoyed about it not being shipped, I couldn't get my money back from it since the entire website was gone after A few months. *Poof* did my money go. But two weeks ago I saw the same lamp for only 7,99 at the local supermarket in real life. At least it was there, and it wasn't A fake. I'm glad I finaly have that moon lamp. It's A cool item. But I felt robbed from my money and still feel A bit scammed when it comes to this. It taught me to never trust facebook advertisement, ever- again.  

  

  

Good evening at the 26th off January, 2020

Good afternoon everyone.

Today was for getting to know the woman next door, by inviting her and A member off the Leviaan health care staff for coffee and home made oatmeal applepie. I had three slices left from A baking, and I decided to invite my neighbour. She's not very populair in our neighbourhood, she's known for being unreliable and dangerous, (She's known for taking profit off people) yet she comes off very cheerfull and friendly. So I decided to not take on this on my own, and simply invite some back support (Who was gladly to take my invitation as she's always fond off my bakings and loves to volunteer when it comes to that) to help me with this.

The fellow client I invited is an elderly lady in her sixties with short grey hair and glasses.

My neighbour has asked me a few times to invite her, so I did yesterday. She didn't extremely misbehave, she was actually kind and we had chit-chat talks like neighbours do, yet I believe we don't have much off A connection on most matters, so that was probably for only once and not much more than once after that. But it was usefull to actually to get to know people. At least I did my part. I think I got rid off something that could be dangerous, simply by not having A personal click with her. But maybe I'm over-speculating on this. Well, at least the applepie got appreciated.

*

And January goes by, winter makes people gloomy yet I feel like this winter is A bit better than usuall, at days when I feel like not getting out off bed and staying in all day. I feel lucky to have A community centre nearby where I can have coffee with people and share being creative. I got appreciated in my new neighbourhood pretty well. It's much better than to be A lonely soul. 

About the mess with health care providers- it's getting solved and I'm changing locations and people pretty soon, without much issues these days. The stars are on my side this year, aside to my Guardian Angel. (I somehow believe I have one.) Things go A little more easy these weeks. They have no problem with re-locating me. Somehow I feel like I say goodbye to the wrong people. I only have the current people for A short time, while the previous ones where the people who had me under their care for years. It feels A bit unfair to have my exit-talk with the current morrons, but I think I'm far better off at the new location.   

I felt pretty well these weeks. It's not as bad as it was previous years. I invite people over at my home sometimes, to help me get rid off bakings and home cooked dinners. I love that. Especially when it got appreciated by people that I cook for them and me being A good cook. Validation can be the air underneath my wings at times when I feel bad. 

Thank you for reading, this is about it for today. 

Yours sincerely, 

XXX- Maaike. 

  

Switches in health providers, and issues with that.

Good afternoon everyone.

I got A bit annoyed by my psychiatric health provider, Dijk en Duijn Fact Zaandam. 

They have changed A lot off people there previous period. I have A new psychiatrist, My psychologist decided I was done with her therapy sessions, and the personal health worker had been changed A few years ago already and it's A bitch - I'm sorry to say that- she's messy with our appointments, skips appointments all the time and when I'm feeling bad, she lacks making new appointments and she doesn't remind me off my appointments so I keep on forgetting them aswell, I decided to keep track off A calendar and An agenda this year, to avoid skipping appointments. I haven't seen her in ages, also at points where I could use A professional to keep an eye on my health.

People at my protected living organisation got fed up with them being such A mess with my health, and decided I have to switch to Fact Wormerveer. (Same institute, other place where it's provided.) Because they have good experiences with them, it's just that my personal health worker blocks that idea, since she has to give permission to switch, and my psychiatrist keeps telling me to try to talk things over with her to clear things up, but it just doesn't seem to work. Sometimes, it's better to stop with certain people than to try over and over again. The story goes on...  now people from the protected living organisation have asked me personal to ask them to switch me to other places. I'll give it A try. It's all super annoying these days.

I find it troublesome that it's my mental health they decide on, and that's in their hands to keep me on track and sane in life. I had no issues with my previous health providers. They where nice, but the current people are not suitable for me.

 

Good evening at the 3th off January, 2020

Good evening everyone.

-New years resolutions-

I hope you enjoyed your change off decades. That only happens every 10 years, after all. So I hope at least it wasn't troublesome for people. I hope you had fun.

My year starts with A 'I start off with A diet and watching my calories.' mood. - That's almost A January tradition for me personal. Previous year, I couldn't bring up the energy to start watching my weight because I was as depressed as  the proverbal doorknob. This year, I can bring it up and get started, but somehow, I usually have bad luck with me when I wish to diet.

It's always as if people decide to share all the bad yet good tasting foods at the point where I start to diet. Yesterday, it was slagroomtaart (cake with filling and decorations because to celebrate the new year) and today it was shawarma, I had plans to go out grocery shopping to buy healthy foods, but I didn't leave my home because off the rain and got lazy and easy going with my day. So I gave in to eating at 'de Boed.' community centre where they served shawarma with A lot off fresh garlic sauce, (The consequence off that decision will follow me like- bad breathe..-) A side salad with A lot off vegetables and pommes duchesse. I love shawarma, it's one off my favourite foods but it's not A healthy choice. At day three, things started to work against my diet plan. I decided to re-try tomorrow, however. If this whole period continues with all off that fatty foods, I think I better try to avoid 'de Boed.' and prepare my own meals. I love taking part at 'de Boed.' at their coffee moments and meal time, But I have to give healthy eating A proper chance.

 Somehow it's as if my doctor Guardian Angel is guiding me in loosing weight, I already got complimented on looking slimmer after only three days, and I think that's due to being more active in life this winter. At least I'm not keeping myself inside and hide from the world all the time. Life got better this year, but to shake previous year off, I also have to loose the weight it gained me. 

However, I kept at my resolution to drink less coffee today, since I have issues to sleep well every night, and I suspect it being due to my coffee intake every day. I enjoy myself some coffee most off the time, but I saw A link between that and my sleeping issues, so I decided to cut. I hope I'll keep up with that.

Tomorrow is for healthy grocery shopping at the local street market, and bringing A broken fan to A repair café. It's  A new fan and it broke during this summer. Can you imagine the discomfort off the heath last year... I hate tropical summers. I hope this year I can do something about it being unbearable by loosing A good amount off weight.

Allright, that's it for today.
Thank you for reading.