What would be if I was in charge off my life.

 

Good afternoon everyone, 

It's raining cats and dogs at this moment in the Netherlands. It's an autumn storm. I hope most people are feeling safe and warm at home. And not being stuck in traffic or something off the like at this moment. I feel a bit like complaining about my life today. 

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'The kids are terrified, they're so scared off Corona. How are we going to handle this?' Me: 'Don't worry. We're going to prepare a stuffed pumpkin for dinner this afternoon, and while it's roasting in the oven, we're going to colour some colouring books and mandala's to keep everyone at peace this afternoon.' 

This might sound a bit sour, or even stupid. Or just incredibly needy. I have been thinking a bit this afternoon, and somehow I visualized a bunch off anxious people who where just terrified for Corona. Not necessairily my kids, but some people in need. And I felt like taking care off that by making them feel comfortable today by doing something cozy. That would probably be my solution if I had a family in real life. I would make every day go by calm and making them feel at peace at home. Keeping a serene atmosphere where people would pass by this crisis at peace. We would have that beautifull cheesecake with some stewed pears for dessert, and I would make dinner the high point off our day. This evening being rainy actually screams for something like that. But I have pumpkin nor wine, I probably have to spend my evening at de Boed where they serve something I simply have to accept this evening. I'm not fertile, I have no kids and no household to take care off. Sometimes that's a good thing, but it's someting I do defenetely miss in life. I have luck with other things.   

Stuffed pumpkin out off the oven has been on my wishlist for quite some time to try. I don't have the opportunity to make it, whatsoever. I spotted it in some woman's magazine at de Boed's coffee table and came across the idea several times in food and supermarket magazines. It's the perfect autumn dish. I forbid myself to complain out loud about not getting the chance to prepare it. As it might come off ungratefull and bratty. I think I'd better be a good girl this evening and think off the money I don't have to spend while eating their food, and be thankfull for whatever they serve me. I hope they have something with an autumn feel this evening. That's all I wish for. I should talk about this with a specialist. It's a strong feeling to miss a family and my own home. Rain has become dripply now. I should pick myself up, realise that I'm at least not as pathetic and sad as Vana Events, and go on with life today.