Good afternoon at the 27th off May, 2020

Good afternoon everyone,

I hope my guardian angel watches this.

I feel exhausted, I have incredible trouble sleeping at night, and I can't seem to relax. Nothing helps me to feel at peace, something in my mind is always troubled and I'm doing hard with it.

I have talked through it with my mental health provider but what she suggests are things that don't work. Like reading, or taking small walks in the evening, or listening to relaxing music. I found stuff like that doesn't actually work for me. I'm looking into kinds off herbal tea which may work.

She also suggested for me to go to bed later instead off 21.30 in the evening, as that might work. It sounds like one thing I haven't tried yet. What to do to fight restlessness and exhaustion during times like this?

I have episodes like this a lot. Mainly during stressfull events.

The tv show 'Well Rested.' should be canceled by now. I wish we could find the reason for my sleeping issues. That's a bad ending for such a remarkable show.

My target to eat more healthy on the other hand, often goes well. I eat healthy, less than before, and I maintained to loose about 2 killograms this month, I don't know how I did that, it just happened but I feel good by it. I think it's mainly because I only ate breakfast and dinner for a while, but that's not the most healthy way to do it. I'm glad it worked to loose weight. I tell you this while eating a roll off chocolate digestives. I could get smart with it and finally start to eat healthy completely and make it a habbit. But to get rid off sweet tooth and a love for food is hard. Though I'm doing better with it since a few months.

These days some idiot at the pharmacy changed the brand to one off my meds and it doesn't do good on me. Luckily Leviaan made it right, so tonight I'm back at the usuall brand. I hate when that happens since it makes me unstable. Luckily, it was possible to set it back. It might take me some days to get re-used to the old brand.

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It's late spring, almost the beginning off summer in the Netherlands. We have bright days often where the sun shines and people are out more often. I feel less depressed than during winter. lack off sunlight even affects me. Instead off staing in bed for hours since I couldn't get enough sleep during the night, I was out early and spend some time on looking good today, and on my breakfast. I got to the morning coffee moment 'de Boed.' has outside on the terrace, but I can't say I feel energetic. I had two cups off coffee and tried my best socializing despite feeling moody.

after that I made some strawberry-rhubarb compote for dessert this evening with fresh strawberries and rhubarb. It's yummy and relatively healthy compared to most desserts. it's vegan, gluten and diary free and plant based. despite it having sugar in it. But that's mainly it. The combination off strawberry and rhubarb, if you can get your hands on it, is one off the best things off this season and a favourite off mine. It should  be on the list 'spring / summer foods.'  during winter I made a blog on how I found it hard to decide what foods are in season for spring / summer. Strawberries and rhubarb defenetely belong on that list.

Allright, I feel like I might overwhelm the audience with all off this. I'll make this the end off this blog post.

Thank you for reading.