Good evening at the 5th off January, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Rain and storm is bashing the windows. It's been snow this morning in Zaandijk, the Netherlands. And the rooftops and the gras was covered in a thin layer off snow. It vanished throughout the morning. 

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This weekend wasn't so bad for an ordinairy, civilized weekend. It's been a walk across the neighbourhood, preparing custard pudding, picturing the local chocolate shop, and harvesting likes with it on the Zaan images facebook, having coffee and good conversations with fellow clients, 

And this morning for tea with my pal from Humanitas, having a real good talk with her, lending her a book, and then to have coffee at de Boed. And a good talk with a care taker. It's important to talk, and have great conversations with people- and to enjoy good company, and be nice with visitors is as ancient as the wold. Having tea with a treat with them, and being friendly with them. I wish I had more friends for tea-visits. I'm just not that good with people. 

I have a picture off the local chocolate shop in the tourist street: 

It's perfect for pick- me- ups and gifts, it's just that they're about to retire this summer. My mom loved all gifts that came from this shop. It's decadent, fancy and run by an old hippie who decorated it old fashioned and frumpy, but that's part off it's perfect sweetness. I haven't been in yesterday, I just have been picturing it's outside. I really should go for a visit soon, it's perfect for coffee and chocolates. 

My care taker said I was kinda edgy and cool by not throwing away items too soon, and keep on using and wearing it. I said I kept my items longer and had no money for much new, but she said I was cool with that. It's a big trend and it ain't so bad for me to do so. That's sort off a pick up, since I'm saving on items and be sober with what I got by conserving all off it. It's not bad for a Dutch woman to do so, a lot off people are known for conserving their old items for decades in this country. It's kind off the national habbit among most older people. Cheap as they try to be with it, and it works for them. I have declared myself a crisis goddess, so I do so too with my items. If Dutch are poor, they keep on using the same items for a long time. We're a sober people to begin with. And I give them their right, it's better for the environment, and why not if things last a lifetime? And sure, it's more cheap. There's nothing wrong with that. If you keep the overvieuw fresh and modern, and keep things fresh, whole and clean, then sure. 

And I decided that my current crush is a waste off youth. I'm wasting my time, energy and youth on him. I wish to keep these things in my own hands. But crushes are a bit harsh to get rid off if the emotion is too much. I'm not really good with getting rid off it. Or getting my mind truly off. I don't wish to be wasted on someone who doesn't know about it. It's a lot off energy. But I'm a mental patient. If I'm so stuck I can walk around quite a while with this. It's sweet, but it's also energy consuming. I think they would not expect this one from me if they would see it. Or merely, If they would see it... oh, woe! But really, men... silly men... what am I to do with them? I better bake appeltaart. I found a baking mix for only 66 cents a package. Too good to resist. Almost as if the devil himself plays with it. I'm glad to have found it. Instead off making them flip flip flip over my crush. It's not wrong or illegal, it's not against appropriate matters off being. It's even perfectly straight. There's just an age gap, but I don't care. I have become 32 years old, after all. But it's against 'their.' rules. And 'they.'would look odd at me for it. I think I waste time and energy on it. It's just like with peekering, it's often on in an annoying way. I'm not good with these emotions. 

I think I should look for something fun to do this week. I'm getting a bit annoying due to hormonal pills this week. I don't feel like doing the household. But rather be in bed or do small fun things. And let the hormones have their way for a while. At least I'm not in the way off someone living. I'm not responisble for care. Just my own. I should receive a medal for that, but that's my opinion. 

Allright that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.