Good evening at the 7th off January, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is real slumberness, all rain and greyness outside. 

*

This afternoon was for annoying fellow clients at de Boed for winning the Bingo quiz all the time. We play bingo with quiz elements at de Boed every two weeks on Tuesday, and other weeks we sing and do music quiz. It's really fun playing games on Tuesday and stick them all their eyes out with my basic common intelligence. But it's enough to leave them far behind, and win prices. I often pick chocolate for a price. 

Next week is an open office day for public at de Boed, and I'm going to sing. I'm going to sing a few songs for the audience. They think my voice is really good for singing. And They have the perfect sound boxes and microphones for it. It's something to feel a bit nervous about, but also to look out for. A performance in public. But I think it will work out well, and singing is real fun. I think people should sing more often. To empty their heart and their mind. Sing your heart out! And my mom will come to the open office day, so she will see me singing. It's really cool. 

'The temptation, the lust, the attraction- It sounds like you're really into it for the 'Real Thing.' with that man.'  You know, that ever lasting real thing where it's just about physicall attraction, you don't really talk, and nothing else matters? Perfect for a sane marriage! Well, I don't think so. Just lust and the physicall can be nice, but it's not reliable. No matter what Mustang he actually is. He is just 'gazing, gazing, gazing.' And then it probably fades. That would be healthy. Not following the butterflies all head over heels. That would be dumb. Sometimes I think about a fresh box off strawberries and a valentine's card if I would know where, who and how. Even a strict vegan man would appreciate those as romantic. But I don't even know that. If he's vegan, and where those strawberries are supposed to go, and the receptionist to his job would hold them behind to eat them herself. 'Thank you, dear. That is utmost sweet. I'll make sure he gets them...' *Omnomnomnomnom.* And honest, I should not see a man who could be a young grandpa as a mustang. That's unhealthy. And really, a box off fresh strawberries in February? It's not easy to have lost my mind in 2023 over the dragonslayer. Edo the dragonslayer, real cute mustang and the best off the best. But a waste off my time. 

Yesterday I said I think it will be peace in 2028, now I'm doubting if it's  2026 again. It's either one off those. It's in the short term, but it's not easy. I hope you can get by. Got your bills paid, and food on the table. I hope most off you can cook a meal. It's important these days to know how to cook the basics. It's difficult. This year won't be for relief. Not because it's what I want, but because I got insights about that. It's very cruel, but people have to take it. It will become all better in the short term. But it's gritting our teeth for now. We can better be brave with it. I don't know how stupid I am if I'm not right. I also think it's a bit stupid telling the Rolling Stones will get a number one hit with Angie again, and it will become the massive number one hit off this era. But it also comes from an insight. Yes, the Stones will be numer one again. If you wish to listen to it for cheap, go after it today. Tomorrow you will pay the head price for their albums. 

It's all dark and hailing outside. It's enough to wish to lay in bed. It will be weeks and weeks off winter in the Netherlands, with little to do. And it's forecasted to become real winter weather. I became fan off Wham's Club Tropicana, due to a New Year's Eve show on Dutch TV where it was performed really well. It's always fun to discover a good oldie. And re-discover, if they got on TV really impressive. Those 80's hits really lend themselves well for that, still. To tell you a secret: A lot off ladies in their 60's here still got a crush on George Michael, despite him being gay and death. In their youth, he was really their stud. I think they never got over with it deep inside. And yes, their music picks me up this year, like A-ha's Take on Me did so a few years ago. A good oldie from the 80's or 70's always does it with me. It does so ever since I was 16. It's been my parent's music and it's with me, either. My parents spend whole days listening to it. And I loved it better than my own youth's hits. What is mature youth to listen to in 40 years when music nowadays stays this bad? We don't have much idols or big sensations ourselves. We're not leaving them anything good this way. It's not something to be proud off. I just hope they understand how deep this crisis was. 

Something good to end this weblog with, before I make heads burst:

Maybe I will make heart-shaped potato cake, with chocolate chips and orange for de Boed's valentine's day. With potato mash. Something from a cookbook from the potato company, except that it's in an ordinairy mold in their receipe, I'm going to try a heart. I think mister Ed does not like the idea off potato cake, but I'm going to pretend I baked it for him. It's with real sugar, so it's supposed to become sweet and tasty. It's just that I'm about to mash potatoes for it. Instead off buying expensive potatoes for it, like the receipe book intends. Cute mustangs might think me weird. De Boed loves a new try out for a baking with their valentine's coffee. I'm going to try to make it for this year's valentine's day. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

Good morning at the 6th off January, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's dark and stormy outside tonight. 

*

There's something I don't like to keep from you, my Christmas 2024 cake: 

It's been a true masterpiece that came out perfectly off it's Wilton Christmas tree mold. It's been a work off love and charity. With money that was donated to me by friends who love my baking, and eggs from a rich friend who often comes by and has her own chickens. Fresh as can be. I got a lot off baking friends since they all love to eat it. It's the quark cake with dried prunes and golden raisins, and this one had hazelnuts in it. And yes, most came from donated money. This cake has become so pricey, it's a Christmas thing for me nowadays, just like my fresh banana cake. It's always the perfect stunt when it comes out perfectly off it's mold. I just decorated it with icing sugar. 

Some people had three slices off this, they thought it was that perfectly good. And I allowed them, since I'm generous with these. I don't like it when something is left. It's my biggest pride when it all got finished. And the plates are returned empty. 

Maybe these just being for Christmas gives them something special, and it makes my audience even more gratefull it's not plain raisin cake, to be honest I became sort off bored making these. But maybe I was about to develop new receipes. - It's just not possible anymore due to finances. But these are winning teams, always good for satisfied eaters, so these are the Christmas cakes for now, in beautifull molds. Since they deserve that. It's a bit pricey to develop something new when it can fail at the moment. That would be too much off a bad thing due to costs. So the trusted receipes it is. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading! 

Good evening at the 5th off January, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Rain and storm is bashing the windows. It's been snow this morning in Zaandijk, the Netherlands. And the rooftops and the gras was covered in a thin layer off snow. It vanished throughout the morning. 

*

This weekend wasn't so bad for an ordinairy, civilized weekend. It's been a walk across the neighbourhood, preparing custard pudding, picturing the local chocolate shop, and harvesting likes with it on the Zaan images facebook, having coffee and good conversations with fellow clients, 

And this morning for tea with my pal from Humanitas, having a real good talk with her, lending her a book, and then to have coffee at de Boed. And a good talk with a care taker. It's important to talk, and have great conversations with people- and to enjoy good company, and be nice with visitors is as ancient as the wold. Having tea with a treat with them, and being friendly with them. I wish I had more friends for tea-visits. I'm just not that good with people. 

I have a picture off the local chocolate shop in the tourist street: 

It's perfect for pick- me- ups and gifts, it's just that they're about to retire this summer. My mom loved all gifts that came from this shop. It's decadent, fancy and run by an old hippie who decorated it old fashioned and frumpy, but that's part off it's perfect sweetness. I haven't been in yesterday, I just have been picturing it's outside. I really should go for a visit soon, it's perfect for coffee and chocolates. 

My care taker said I was kinda edgy and cool by not throwing away items too soon, and keep on using and wearing it. I said I kept my items longer and had no money for much new, but she said I was cool with that. It's a big trend and it ain't so bad for me to do so. That's sort off a pick up, since I'm saving on items and be sober with what I got by conserving all off it. It's not bad for a Dutch woman to do so, a lot off people are known for conserving their old items for decades in this country. It's kind off the national habbit among most older people. Cheap as they try to be with it, and it works for them. I have declared myself a crisis goddess, so I do so too with my items. If Dutch are poor, they keep on using the same items for a long time. We're a sober people to begin with. And I give them their right, it's better for the environment, and why not if things last a lifetime? And sure, it's more cheap. There's nothing wrong with that. If you keep the overvieuw fresh and modern, and keep things fresh, whole and clean, then sure. 

And I decided that my current crush is a waste off youth. I'm wasting my time, energy and youth on him. I wish to keep these things in my own hands. But crushes are a bit harsh to get rid off if the emotion is too much. I'm not really good with getting rid off it. Or getting my mind truly off. I don't wish to be wasted on someone who doesn't know about it. It's a lot off energy. But I'm a mental patient. If I'm so stuck I can walk around quite a while with this. It's sweet, but it's also energy consuming. I think they would not expect this one from me if they would see it. Or merely, If they would see it... oh, woe! But really, men... silly men... what am I to do with them? I better bake appeltaart. I found a baking mix for only 66 cents a package. Too good to resist. Almost as if the devil himself plays with it. I'm glad to have found it. Instead off making them flip flip flip over my crush. It's not wrong or illegal, it's not against appropriate matters off being. It's even perfectly straight. There's just an age gap, but I don't care. I have become 32 years old, after all. But it's against 'their.' rules. And 'they.'would look odd at me for it. I think I waste time and energy on it. It's just like with peekering, it's often on in an annoying way. I'm not good with these emotions. 

I think I should look for something fun to do this week. I'm getting a bit annoying due to hormonal pills this week. I don't feel like doing the household. But rather be in bed or do small fun things. And let the hormones have their way for a while. At least I'm not in the way off someone living. I'm not responisble for care. Just my own. I should receive a medal for that, but that's my opinion. 

Allright that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 4th off January, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cold, wet and dreary. For tomorrow they've forecasted snow. 

*

I had this insight about the upcoming planetairy transits, Neptune and Saturn moving to Aries, and Uranus moving to Gemini. And honest: It's just planetairy transits, and nothing will miraculously happen due to that involving the Ukraine War. Aries is the war-sign, but I think we're (Western Europe) are not going to fight it out. I'm sincerely about that, I think it won't happen and that's for real. I think peace will take place in 2028. And it has nothing to do with us fighting. I simply don't know what causes it. It's just that that's the year I've gotten about this through visions. 

And we better hope that that would be the year. I had visions about trends in society when it will not, and it's all poverty and propaganda we're about to deal with if it doesn't take place during that time period. We better pray it will be over in such a short term. We better do. 

I hope for festivity if we triumph. But I've foreseen the period off peace will go by in dark somberness, people having to get used to it, and things still being very expensive. It's not festive from here to Maddison Square Gardens. So I think peace won't come after victory. It's in slumberness and drearyness it's going to take place. It's because we have no money for that. No money for peace parties. They're not keen on spending money on it, and that's all I've seen. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 2nd off January, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today it's cold, cloudy and grey like the other ones these weeks. It's just that I can't see the weather yet, it's just what I feel is going to happen. 

*

It's around 04.00 AM, This morning will be for coffee service. I'm in my living room, when I feel like it, I go back to bed. 

I have been thinking. Maybe my facebook and weblog will be such thick cult later on, for it being absolutely boring, and nothing happening on there except the plain, dry and daily. It's a certain wisdom on it's own for youth to follow that. Especially youth who don't have much off an interesting life themselves. It's so sickly boring and dull, they can relate to it. It's not as jealouse making as I hoped it was. That's a bit sick. But ordinairy stuff still doesn't get people too jealouse. It's just a plain idyle, and meanwhile it's not threathening, it's so stupid it's funny. 

I thought I was making people jealouse, with coffee, food and chocolates and cookies with my coffee. Since it's that much off a crisis. It's just that no one mentions. So I think it's actually the opposit. Maybe it's too dry to generate jealousy. Who, except for a real desperate, gets jealouse at cauliflower? I know, a lot off people wish they had it. But I think it doesn't sicken them with sharp, poisonous jealousy. 

Naw, I think that doesn't truly hit it. I'm not jealouse making, I think I'm so dry and boring that it's cult-like funny. But you should be into that cult before enjoying it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good afternoon at the 1st off January, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's windy and stormy in the Netherlands. 

*

First off all, I wish you all a Happy New Year, and something on hands to keep your minds buisy, since we need distraction every often that's not illegal. 

This morning I showered and washed, Finally got myself clean. I smell like lavender and body butter. I think I killed no one by not looking fancy during New Year's Eve. It was more the feeling that got me out off bed this morning to clean myself. It's better than feeling filthy. 

The fireworks where really beautifull yesterday. So incredibly pretty. They can't afford their health insurance, but they do pay an awfull lot for fireworks. The least I can do is watching it and enjoying it in awe. And they made me. So it worked. 

I learned the truth: The grocery van was mainly cut due to finances, not because 'it's our own responsibility.' Actually it's a bit off a bitchy reason to tell us to seek it out ourselves. I think the manager is such a bitch for cutting it. And ditching us with such a story. We should have common acces to groceries, not just an app on the internet.  

The Leviaan manager should use her mind. If she's gonna cut things to hell, I'm gonna make it known on this weblog. It's not acceptable what's happening. And the public should know. It's my freedom off speech and it's a form off legal protest. She has to keep it acceptable, or I'm going to make her pay for it and kick her ass. No groceries is NOT acceptable. She should not think she can shove me up with everything. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good evening at the 31st off December, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's already dark outside, and the fireworks are cracking like crazy. It's New Year's Eve in the Netherlands. 

*

Today wasn't spend in New Year's Eve best clothes. I have been a bit off crisis yeaterday, so it's unwashed and slobby old clothes. No sparkling eyeshadow like other New Year's eves- I'm the perfect slouch. 

Maybe I should treat it like it doesn't matter. This is psychiatric health care, there's a day after tomorrow. It's just a lame day like many, and tomorrow will be bliss for being washed and fed apropriate again. 

The good side: I got alcohol free white wine my mother gave me, and music TV. Perfect way to spend New Year's Eve. And the slouch should be gratefull she's got no party to go. It's just safe in. I feel like watching the fireworks at midnight from behind the window. I live on the first floor, it's a good sight. After all, it ain't so bad. It's cozy, and I had coffee at de Boed just a moment ago. It's where I got the idea for music TV from, simply for this evening. It almost felt like a party at de Boed with everyone there and the music on an entertainment show. And between you and me, I'm not the worst tramp there, so being a bit filthy did not matter. 

I hope prices won't become traumatic this year. In a vision I had, I saw them becoming traumatically high in ordinairy supermarkets. I have to take a deep breath and deal with it. But honestly, I can feel it in a painfull way. Poverty can be felt and is a trauma one can have for life. I mutter over the upcoming year a lot. Wondering how to come round next year if it stays this way. With a lot off luck and god's blessing I suppose then. I don't know how elsewise. My younger brothers have their birthday in June and October, but I purchased a gift and wrapping paper for them already, before it could get any more expensive to do so. It's barely doable for me. Just the art off thinking ahead helped me out. I'm proud I even have wrapping paper for it this year. It's not the most brilliant gifts, but they better accept. 

I'm glad I still got my home. I'm Schizophrenic and I'm still granted my care home. It's the smallest flat one can get, but everything is present. I got food, warmth and electricity and that's what I mean with a god's blessing. I'm not rich, I have to mind what I spend, but I'm granted the luxury off psychiatric health care, and clean, washed clothes on my body. And I was told I can stay here. Being mental has become my biggest blessing almost. Instead off a burden. It's why I'm in here to begin with. It's the word 'crisis.' that makes it diffrent. I'm not baling anymore I'm granted all this. 

Tomorrow I'll start the year with a period cure, to start up menstruation, so I'll start the year good. I'm getting all the symptoms, including female mood swings from it. I'm lucky I've been hoarding period cloth in the storage room. And that's how we start 2025, very much aware off my woman hood. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.