I feel like I'm chickensoup atm

Good evening everyone, happy ending off the year and good luck and strength to all services who have to work this evening. Like police forces and hospital staff. 

It's cold outside, there is no snow, and fireworks are all around despite there to have been a national ban on fireworks during new year's eve. I believe we can see something big this evening with a lot off emergencies due to forbidden fireworks. Most troublemakers don't care for fireworks being made illegal, they have been shooting trouble with fireworks ever since November. (Teens out on the street use fireworks to cause trouble a lot. It's ment as a new year's eve tradition but it's abused as it's something they use year round to pretend to be cool. It's been for a reason it's banned. Most adults around here agree with that law. It's been out off hand everywhere several times for years now.) 

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 I have been in a personal crisis last night. I have been colouring in a colouring book for adults. It's getting somewhere with that image. I have been over the moon with a man I barely know, I suspect him to cause trouble for my well being and I fear he could do damage for my mental super powers if it continues like this. I think he is some super might and he damages what I'm doing. I was up to causing world peace but then he came up (made off blue light and causing mind powerd to interfere with me) He believed I was something bad. While I ment well for the world. I have been overthinking how to solve the war situation in the Middle East last night, while playing music that might have been a bit too uplifting along with such thoughts. (This is nothing but the bare truth.) 

That man is not evil, he just clashes with my might. And sometimes we talk in my mind. Last night I have told him about my world saving super powers and it made him suspicious. I have been fighting a major battle in my mind last night. And he gave up since he couldn't take the responsibility and the mental burden off being a blue supermight so I could have my way and continue with what I was doing. Nobody got harmed in person. This could be a perfect script for some super hero movie, and I wish to be portrayed as a red supermight if this gets somewhere. You bet I'm playing a more calm cd (I'm old fashioned, I play and buy old cd's.) this evening. I'm still not at peace with what happened in my mind last night. Emotionally, I'm overwhelmed and exhausted from it while real life barely stirrs me when it comes to emotions. 

He didn't actually get my motives for my actions but he said 'I couldn't do what you do without getting mad myself.' 

My attemps to understanding war and peace in the middle east probably got a lot off me while I was still in school. I was a teen when the second gulf war started and ever since the Middle East at war being a politicall issue it has my interest. If I would have had the luck to finish my political study (Which I couldn't finish since I got mental issues.) I would have used it to try to cause or at least work on peace in the Middle East if I could have done it. My main issue at the moment is how to get the Russians out off Syria without big damage for the area or world peace. I have been overthinking it untill late. I got to the conclusion that I couldn't solve it myself, no matter what I would have come up with. 

And then there was the idea I got scooped off by secret services. I was on it out loud all the time. And because I'm mad and they could see me as a potential threat (Which I'm not when being on that subject.) for national or local safety when being out off my mind like that. I feel somewhat uneasy by the major feeling off being watched. I can't explain why, but I told my care takers about that. I think it's a safe idea to keep them informed about all off this. Somewhere around 4.30 I finally slept, but I had to get out early for medication. I have the luck off having no serious job. I have been colouring a butterfly today at de Boed and it turned out gorgeous. (I'm about to picture it tomorrow.) It's been on a split page, it's hard to get the finished project out off the colouring book. I think I'll let them keep it but picture it for myself and publish it on here. I have been colouring a mandala yesterday morning at de Boed, about the blue man I sensed. 

A few weeks ago I bought Aleppo Soap. A kind off soap produced in Syria which supports their local economy. I bought a shampoo and two bars off soap. I hope the money benefits their broken country somehow. I hope it went to the right pockets. 

Allright, that's it for this moment. 

Thank you for reading. 

Edit: This is my finished butterfly. If I continue this way, my mad weblog becomes like a children's book with bright coloured images every often. 

What if they'd start a nation wide protest march against corrupt poisoning?

 Good afternoon everyone, 

I have some sort off an inspiration. What if people in the U.S would start to protest against their companies poisoning the planet, and I mean: real big action from the ordinairy people against those corrupt CEO's putting poison and chemicals which addict and cancer the mass and who live on the blood and money off victims. What if the entire world would put up with that. Stop the poisoning by your chemicals, stop polution to produce your products and give us back the power to stand up for our rights. 

Most people here think corruption started with large companies buying themselves power in politics. And the right to poison you for the sake off making big money. I think sane people shouldn't tolerate that by any means and the source off that problem is to most people's beliefs the United States. I believe there is truth in that, but what if the nation would take serious action and strike against those companies who buy their rights by employment on mostly an unfair basis. If the U.S would only be sane... If people would only take their health serious... If people would only believe in a better world without mass polution by chemicals....  

Merry Christmas everyone.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

The best way to bug a metalhead pagan is to wish them a merry christmas out loud. They would react in disgust to it. You could try it if they don't look too agressive. 

It's typical Dutch christmas weather. It's grey and rainy outside, there is a promise off wet snow by the forecast, but more than often, that won't be made true by the clouds today. Most off the time such forecasts don't come true during christmas. real white christmasses are something from the past. 

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I'm doing well. I had a third corona test one week ago and it was negative. As far as that seems I'm completely cured and it does something to me. I got cured from the world's reason for a pandemic but you might have heard that before from me. 

Last week I decorated a rose gold coloured christmas bulb for a christmas bulb decoration contest at de Boed. I didn't win a prize. I haven't pictured my apply for that contest, but I gave it to my mom as a christmas gift afterward. I had no opportunity to go christmas shopping this year. I believe that christmas bulb straight from the heart was a good idea. I haven't send any christmas cards to relatives either. I haven't done my best to be giving this christmas. Next year I hope I do better. I'm doing well in my parental home at this moment. It feels like I'm finally getting to rest this year. Life has been busy. I could stay here for a whole week and feel like I finally get to be relaxed. To fall asleep is an issue I have. I'm doing bad sleeping in in the evening. I have had that issue quite some time. I need sleep, as it's good for a damaged brain, but part off the issue is that it's hard to sleep well if you have brain issues. 

There probably aren't much places in the world where you got a picture perfect white christmas with snow. Most places have become gloomy and rainy. I bet if we continue this way, even the north pole will become some gloomy place instead of an artic landscape consistent off snow and ice. 

I haven't been giving this year, but I received cute christmas gifts from my family. A lama stuffed animal from my brother and a famous cookbook which has won the most important award off the year for cookbooks. (The golden cookbook.) I got that from my mom. One can't have enough cookbooks in my opinion. I'm just not the only one who decides what's getting into my house, and I have just a small appartment. I can't simply stuff it with cookbooks. But I'm doing my best so far. I need more space, and a second book case. It's just impossible to place it at this moment and I don't like to throw stuff away at this point. First world problems I guess. 

As far as life goes, I'm not troubled by the second lock down that has come over the Netherlands. Life goes on and I'm handling it pretty well. 

I challenged mom's husband into making a buche de noel, also known as yule log (A log made from cake, often covered in chocolate) and he did perfect on it. The merengue mushrooms he made with it are better than what I challenged him into. They're larger and he managed to colour their heads a reddish pink. I believe that was a perfect idea to do this christmas as the whole house benefits from it. we have a perfect christmas cake with great merengue mushrooms this year. He is a pastry baker's son and he knows these kind off things better than I do. I can advise anyone with parents that can and love to bake perfectly to do such a thing every often. Challenge them to make festive and delicious foods every often and your entire family will have joy from it. Next time they are going to challenge me to make them something. I like that idea as we're going on and on with that. These kind off (baking) challenges I'm happy to participate in.  

Allright, that's about it for now, 

Thank you for reading.         

Hector the Ladybug

 Good evening everyone, 

I happen to have an imaginairy friend. Hector the ladybug. It's an image off a young man with black curls and light skin and I think he wears glasses and a ladybug suit, or fancy men's clothes. He's muscled on a level where it's acceptable for men. He's not overly skinny or fat. He wears purple, red or shirts with long sleeves and a print and tidy pants and sometimes he has about four arms. He talks to me a lot and he cheers me up when I'm down or he relativates when I feel stuck or stupid about something. He has been a bit cranky on me lately, but I feel as if I'm connecting with something when I talk to him. He looks like he has been walking out off a children's cartoon. In the beginning he did cute salto's and a funny dance every often. I love him. I don't know how my mind came up with him but it's a perfect pick me up when I feel bad. It appears as if he's something with it's own personality and voice. he's cute but imaginairy. I hope he won't abandon me out off being fed up with me. He's too funny. 

Even 28 year olds can have imaginairy friends. 

The Administrator

Good evening everyone, 

I have been under administration ever since living protected and so far my finances are healthy. I just have to ask every often for extra money if that's needed or wanted. It's possible, I'm not in debt and I have a small saving so far. 

It's just that my administrator hasn't answered his mail for two months and I have been sober these months but I have the feeling I need a little extra these weeks. I just haven't been able to contact them. No replies and even care-takers can't seem to get an answer. I have been doing well however, I believe out off some sort off bigotted pride I haven't complained to care-takers before about that. Usually my administrator is perfectly trust worthy and answers pretty soon, or merely to say, soon enough. I need to solve this issue. I wish there was some ladybug guardian angel with curing abilities who can magically obtain answers and requested money form my main bank account. That would help me out this week. 

Though being a bit on low money, I have been managing myself well. I haven't bought new winter clothes except for a coat this winter. I have been wearing the same outworn winter clothes I have been wearing for years, I have stock in materials and foods for quite some time, I don't have basic needs that need to be covered soon. I just need acces to my money so I hope I can throw away some sweaters with holes in them. (That's no pun.) I actually do wear sweaters with holes in them. Pride and managing my weekly allowance as good as it gets keeps me from hitting rock bottom this month, (Rock bottom might be a little too much, but it's not much I have left on my pay account. I can hear some judge me on this, but I know they're probably not much better than me when it comes to it.) I have been perfectly able to donate home made cakes to de Boed almost every week with what I got. I just need the requested extra money so I can go on. I hate the idea to depend on others so I don't ask other people for a loan and I'm not about to do so. I can solve my own issues and I don't need anyone when it comes to that. I rather keep on wearing sweaters with holes in them, even if that means I have to wear them untill March (I hope not.) but it's no option for me to depend on others as that's not a good idea most off the time. 

I hope I'm about to obtain what I asked for as soon as this week. 

Allright, that's about it. 

  

Officially protected spices

 Good morning everyone, 

I have put some stewed pears on the stove, (I love them this season.) with two tablespoons off 'Koek- en Speculaaskruiden.' (Combined myself to a blend)  I have an idea for it. 

It's something I use over and over again in my kitchen. It's something traditionally Dutch though some countries have the same compound somewhat but call it diffrent. (Applepie spices or Pumpkinpie spices is something that comes close to it.) It's parts have been introduced by the VOC and come from asian countries but we combined them to spices suitable in cookies and other pastries. If you put them up for some time, your entire house will smell divine and warm and every Sinterklaas we use tons off it. 

The smell off it is just divine and are typicall for winter, and I wish to advocate for making it a Traditional Speciality Guaranteed for our country, protected by the European Union. I suppose it's much and much better than a cheese sandwich in that fashion. 

If we would do so, it's consistency would be descripted gram by gram for what it should be. My mixes wouldn't be able to call themselves official. But I think it's not bad to have it mentioned by the Union.. It's been a Dutch tradition for centuries, after all.