Good evening at the 9th off October, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is a beautifull sunny autumn day and the leaves on the tree behind my house are turning yellow. It will be soon before they fall off. 

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Yesterday I went shopping at Zaandam city centre. I got there all dressed in fancy autumn clothes, my nails polished and my face in moderate make-up. But what I saw was downright shocking: People looked so poor and down dressed, women without make-up, low-profile clothes and people looking downright shabby and poor, I felt incredibly overdressed. I feel that heavy on my shoulders. It's been a while since I've been to the city centre and I know people usually dress chique when they go shopping. What I've seen where people who where rock bottom on a crisis and that means this country is on it's last leggs. Zaanstad never has been a rich place. It's been build up on the blood and sweat off factory workers. People looking so poor in the streets and me being sooo 2020 in my clothes and overdressed was traumatizing. I don't want to stick out the eyes off people at de Boed, I don't want to stick out the eyes off people in the streets. People can't afford the energy bills, they can't afford groceries and it's a month away the increasing off wages will come. 

I saved up last years' clothes, wearing nailpolish and shoes I still had and pretty autumn fashion from early on, hoping fashion wouldn't have changed too much these months so I could hang on with it affordably, but I have to play it even more low-profile with clothes and look more cheap not to look overdressed this season. Usually I look a bit cheap, and during summer I swear by it to look low-profile. I wanted to celebrate autumn fashion with dark nail polish and edgy autumn prints, and pretty fancy pants. But the world today can't take that. I even wore lipstick yesterday. It's best to play it the usuall way and downdress this season: No make-up, jeans, old sneakers, no edgy prints, and a diffrent coat or jacket than I own as far as I can see this. As far as I could see, people where still vain about their hair, and that's been a thing I have been sober in: no hairdye and growing it. I saw haircuts and hairdye, despite the faces not wearing make-up. 

Maybe the world in the city centre will look diffrent after wages have increased and there is a serious plan about gas compensation, somewhere after the holidays this year. I feel pity with all those people. They really look like they are on their last leggs. I can try not to look too expensive to them by dressing down a bit myself. I don't want to stick out people's eyes. I've been too poor myself to know how that feels and I'm still not rich. I purchased a new jacket for it and some low-profile longsleeves. As long as we're not out off trouble, I refuse to show off. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.