Good morning at the 19th off February, 2024, 2.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's almost 02.00 o'clock. I still can't see the weather outside. 

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The hell with Faust made me unpopulair among Vana Events. People assumed I was a brainless barbiedoll after just one thing. But I'm not like that, and I never have been. It kinda shove me away from the cool metal head boyfriends I actually wanted. And now I have that issue with cute blonde, geeky men and pagan priests, when it's into Vana Events, they are likely to know me from the forum and loathe me for it. I'm famous in a bad way and it's quite an issue. I never got over it since I learned to hide away from it. I never got really close since most don't live in my place. But in far off places where I can't find them. 

I'm seen as pretty, but I'm no good and a bitch and a slut according to them. I'm working my ass off to prove their wrong. But they don't see. Nobody sees who I truly am. I have been hiding my real self for a lot off people. All the jealousy, all the hatred, all the gossip, all the haters, all the fake - it did just too bad for my nerves and I flipped on the subject. Vana was the cause off getting into the mental hospital and on these pills to begin with. It got me in the overdrive and killed my career. I could not take it very well. Still I felt the urge to state my opinion and stand by it. I should have stand by it better and not let them make me insecure about it. I should have never appologized, since I always have been right all along. I shouldn't have backed down. Those people are annoying when it comes to taking things with a limb off salt, where I have done so long before. 'Goddamn it people, take it with a limb off salt. Just like I do.' It's what is said about it all the time, but still they don't get it. Am I harsh or are they just stupid?  I think it's the last and it doesn't make me a bitch to fight back against them. 

I'm not a bitch. I'm just honest and real. It's hard fighting with people on the level off a few sandbox toddlers, while I feel like an adult. It's hard to win a serious argument from someone who uses 'I'm gonna burst out and cry.' as an argument, and you have to quit from the moderator. While you're actually into a serious discussion. I'm not into the austriches, the whiners and the sexists. But this is not what paganism is supposed to be like in my opinion. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

  

Good morning at the 19th off February, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's almost 01.00 o'clock, it's dark outside and I can't see the weather. 

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Question: Have you ever been in love with Faust from the Vana Events forum, or his real life self? 

Answer: 

That man has been my personal nightmare. I felt awfull about him. Delustional, and I have been calling him things in my head that are not fit to repeat on here. And that was before the cheat-thing where he suddenly had someone else. I'm fine with that, to be honest. We where never a thing, though there where several rumors about it. And that's for the better because I can't stand the man. I even have been calling him terrible things related to his Jewish background, even including the holocaust and WWII. You don't want to know how bad it was. I downright hate him. 

I never said so in real life and I felt obsessed with it at some point, to the point where it drove me insane. I felt I better kept distance from him since he was the main source off my delusions and feeling awfull, while he drove me in a corner, claiming he was about to 'get me pregnant. Hearhearhear.' Just like that. It's terrible to an unfertile woman like me when they joke about that. He drove me batshit insane, and the worse thing was that powerless feeling, off not being capable to speak up how I felt about that baboon's face. He looks like a baboon with a jewfro and buckteeth. He's just terrible to look at. And he wears those pesky 'Look, I'm a macho.' sunglasses everywhere, which are stupid. He's NOT my type, and he has never been. I felt most awfull about not being capable to tell the truth. People assumed his feelings where mutual and I would or had to answer positive. Which was not te case, and which makes Vana some sort off a sect in my opinion, forcing people to do what they want. 

I don't want a fucking baby with that retard. He doesn't respect me, he behaves too macho in a male dominant way and he thinks he's a whole lot off something. He's not my type. 

I have the song 'Just a girl.' by No Doubt in my head with this. People see me as too girly girly and simple to even get it. Even to a point where it's humiliating. Assaulting, overruling and sexist. 

But I'm not, Just like the song, I've had it up to here with them. There are certain reasons for me to never to come back to Castlefest. I wish him and his new girl all the luck. But forget about me. 

Let's post No Doubt on here: 

Mother off Ancestors, the Vana Wickerbeast from 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

I can't see Vana as emancipated, I can't see it's crowd as emancipated. 

They have been trying to push me into motherhood, and called me a slut and a whore and a barbie when I rejected. I don't want to be a mother, but A LOT off alternatives went off and started catcalling and slutshaming me alltogheter for a long period off time. I don't believe the gods haven't seen that. It's an offend for Paganism, it's an offend for any true worshipper off a female tripple godess and I stick with my words. 

Somehow I also think the crowd is waaaay too much into having kids themselves, seeing it as the duty almost off women to become a mother, preferably at a young age, or she is dedicated a slut. I can't see Fantasy as emancipated to be honest, there are too much off examples off sexism in a lot off works. Pagans being too much into Fantasy novels have their mind probably a bit muddied, and I believe this Wickerbeast, pure and innocent as she seems, should not be at Castlefest, where all women should be to die for so pretty, or they fall behind. Another thing that itches. I don't want to be today's sweetheart where the next day I'm thrown away in the thrash because some jerk sees me as ugly. That's not emancipated. I have a personality, a heart, a soul, I'm a fire witch with the power off a true and original godess. As long as they keep on treating me utmost rude, this wickerbeast is a lie and I'm not good with it when it's presented to me like this. Vana is an organisation ruled by men, and somehow it seems to me more insecure women seem to go with it, not pleased with how I behave, while in a modern era, they should re-think themselves and just as good respect someone like me. I'm decent, proud, a hard worker and a believer in doing good. But nothing but disrespect and being treated like thrash has befallen me. I don't believe Vana at all anymore. They have to think a little harder when they try to put up a show with a wicker godess again. I believe this weather is proof off my right. Vana is NOT emancipated, and this gift to the gods is NOT accepted. 

Good evening at the 6th off August, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today it's stormy, raining cats and dogs and it's bad weather for a day in August. 

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Yesterday evening, at the 5th off August, Castlefest has been burning 'The mother off Ancestors.' A wickerbeast dedicated to women, emancipation and motherhood, and something about it itches. I can't see Vana as emancipated at all after how they treated me during my time with them. It's no miracle the weather is this bad during Castlefest. Speaking off requesting the gods, this is probably what you got. 

Vana has been slutshaming, catcalling, and somewhat violently pushing me into a role I don't wish to be into, due to their vision on my opinion, which they call a big mouth, but which I would call adjust.

Vana keeps on telling me 'to become a mother.' 'Let someone impregnate you.' 'Keep your mouth shut and become a mother, and become less off a vixen.' In my opinion, this whole wickerbeast was nothing less than a big scam. Vana Events is NOT emancipated, and I believe some things are not suitable to personificate their wickerbeast. I don't wish to be a mother, I am a mental patient in psychiatric health, I have problems with my fertility, and so on. It's a big offend to keep on telling me to 'Get pregnant and shut up.'

Now Mark and Natasha being all hypocrit and ment for the appearance off Castlefest with this one, this one falls pretty wrong with me, and it's a lie and an offend to me personal. I have NEVER been treated with the right respect. Not as a maiden, not during this era off my adulthood and I believe it will never come with them. They try to force me with a man I see as highly unsuitable for me and who I have never seen as attractive. (Yoram B.) Is this Wickerbeast dedicated to me personally? I don't accept it. I won't come back for another big lie off a wickerbeast. Also given the rude way it's been going with Yoram and how he wanted to get rid off me, by picking a younger girlfriend. THAT is not emancipated. Vana ignoring the matter while I contacted them about it several times makes it even worse. You guys emancipated? Do you believe it yourself? I'm not into Yoram, but I tried to contact them about the matter because it was rude off him the way that went. He even called me ugly and said there where more pretty women on the terrain than me. His girlfriend is a frele bimbo with blonde curls, where I'm a fat, cool blonde with glasses. Somehow Vana calling themselves emancipated itches and it's NOT adjust. I have been telling Mark: 'Have you fallen off off your religion?' in some letters. If this is how he wants to get his face back, by burning some straw doll instead off showing and acting truly and for real, then he is one hell off fake in my opinion. I can't see Vana as emancipated and this whole wickerbeast was a big scam.  I think it's an offend for the gods to any true pagan.   

I believe the gods agree with me, seen the weather. This was not Castlefest weather worthy. When it comes to Vana: Don't believe a word they put up with, it's fake and the gods cry over it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.