The world is not out off essential goods yet

 

Good evening everyone, 

I have made a previous blog post about something I think is fair for the world after Corona: 

Simply to put it back to a point zero, after which it can be fairly build up again without letting common folks pay too much for it, and drain it into even more crisis and despair. 

Poverty is not funny. It can lead to disasters like, people voting for a dangerous leader which they might see as a saviour to their problems, who might turn out dangerous afterwards. Like, what has happened before world war II. I hope it won't get that far with the current state off our world. But world leaders, companies and banks have to understand this point off vieuw. Though it's merely written to prevent people from becomming even more poor than they already are. 

The next subject I'd like to bring up, is that the world isn't out off essential goods which are necessairy to live. I believe people can still provide themselves basic needs if they think smart and act smart with their money. Despite this world being into a crisis, you can still make yourself a good living. What that actually means varies by case. I don't like to point my finger too much to people, but to quit smoking and drinking is a good idea at this moment so you might have more money to spend on basics which you might need more druing a crisis. I believe we can do it. All we need is a strong mindset. Sometimes that takes practice, sometimes that comes to us out off nowhere. Still I believe people can survive without panic or putting the world into actual danger. Sometimes I wish more people had a determined mindset off their own. 

To become handy and start to repair broken things instead off throwing them away when that's not necessairy, is also a good idea in a world like this. It can save you a lot, while you can still dress / live well with what you already have. Think smart and overthink if you actually need something. Don't agressively spend your money on things that aren't truly needed and save yourself some money for the situation after this crisis. You might need it. 

These trics are some things taken out off my life before corona. I had barely any money when I was a teen / young adult but still I prevent myself from hitting rock bottom by acting smart with what I have. Somehow I grow a bit tired off being poor. I had a short time where I could spend just a little more, but I'm afraid I have to re-use things from that period nowadays. Still, if you think and act smart when you barely have money, you can perfectly live without having to panic. Fear and panic are the last things we need nowadays. People need to keep their head cool and their mind focused, as that is what is going to help. 

Alright, that's about it for this evening. Thank you for reading.  

A mundial reset for the world and it's economics after Corona is done.

 

Good evening at the 17th off October, 2020.

 

Good evening everyone, 

It's stone cold and gloomy weather in the Netherlands. Corona infections are increasing nation wide and most governmental steps to decrease the virus are more strict, most things are closed. 

I decided to start living more from out my emotions, but I mention if I turn to my real emotions, most off the time I feel sad and depressed. It's not much off a cheerfull mindset to start to actually feel instead off acting purely rational most off the time. Emotional reactions seem to be more like how other people react in my case, (Sometimes I feel a bit alienated from others due to reactions and mindsets I don't seem to get, or them reacting on an emotional level which I usually see as biggot and a bit cowardish often. I'm mentally on a diffrent level than most.) but as irrational as emotions are, they aren't nice and easy to live with. Being rational causes emotions but it makes me feel less depressed somehow. Though even care takers tell me it's a good thing to live from out your emotions more and not always put on a brave face. I felt I was on a level where it almost broke me. But being emotion driven isn't everything either. 

Something is wrong with me this month, I'm falling backwards into mental distress and delusions. Talking with care takers about the matter helps me to clear things up and help me see what I'm actually going through. It isn't fun. There have been several stressfull events these months in my life. I seem to have a dangerous criminal with a record and several news assignments in my appartment's gallery. I feel on my nerves already, but this month he got arrested by several police cars. I wasn't at home during that event, but I heard from another neighbour what happened when I got home. 

A friend off mine is about to die. She has been treated for cancer but it didn't help. She is given up by doctors and she will die because off it. We don't know when that will take place, but it makes me feel sad. Life isn't fair sometimes. I feel so much sorry for what is going to happen to her. She was one off the few people who was actually there for me and my family in real life when things in our lives got bad. She's in her early fourties and she has twin sons in their teens. She has a wheelchair and she can't walk. I have had her over for dinner a few times. I feel it's so unfair for some people to go through things like this. It makes me so incredibly upset with life. 

I don't know how it happend, but I distant myself from my neighbours now my mental problems seem to get worse. Probably because I think off them as a bit narrow minded and negative minded most off the time. All they seem to do is complain about life and about others. They stick up their nose for fellow patients and somehow it feels wrong to be on their side in that. I know I can come off quite normal when I'm around them, but nowadays I can't seem to pick up the strength to come off strong. Or keep standing tall in my delusions so I choose to distant myself. I think I would have been disastrously isolated from others and the world if I wouldn't live in a care home. On the other hand, it does make me isolated since I barely meet people that way. Loneliness has delusional effects on my mind. It's a bad thing which I'm not able to cure for myself. I feel so sad this month. 

I still go to de Boed, I focus on making delicious and wholesome foods for group dinner. It's my attempt to help them to make it through the Corona Crisis. By making them eat tasty. I put my entire heart in the dishes I prepare. I can't seem to come up with anything else but to cook or bake these days for my hobby. Nothing seems interesting anymore. Life is so shallow and gloomy without a drive. Something to live for, a goal, something to safe my mortal soul. I don't have anything like that. It's so cold outside, it's cold in my home and I don't know if I'm going to make it through my own peronal crisises. 

To be honest, I don't really care about events not happening, or restaurants being closed, or shopping streets being restricted. As long as I can put food on the table that doesn't matter that much to me. I didn't go out that much before this crisis and I bet I can do without after it's done. People shouldn't be so prissy and selfish when it comes to following Corona rules. The more they put their shoulders under this crisis, the earlier we might get out off the whole thing and then it's over for good. I wish people would act more smart and compassionate about it. You'd almost wish upon them to get Corona so they would know what it actually is for that they have to follow those rules. That would be good for them. Most off the time I'm not resentfull like this but I feel it would be fair this time. The world isn't in a crisis over nothing. 

I wish there would be a smart way to get out off mental health care and build up a real life before it's too late and I have grown too old to make something out off life. I feel stuck. I wish I had other people to talk with, people who get me and who don't make me feel like I'm on a diffrent mental level than they are. It's a bit hard being miss understood and it's a bit lonesome. I wish I had real friends. That would help me out. 

    

 

A small side table safed from being thrown away.

 

Good evening everyone, 

This is the result off me saving a side table from thrash, it needed to be repaired and dyed a nice shade off green to be put in a state a bit better before it got broken. 

I didn´t cheat by skipping the inside. It´s completely dyed green. Except for the small ends to it´s legs. But it will stand on that all the time so the paint might come off too easily. I decided on keeping them bare. 

Today I have varnished it, it´s about to dry, and then it will be placed back in the sitting room corner where I found it. They told me they are about to buy a plant to put on it for extra decoration. 

For someone who has worked about 3 years in an upcycling, I don´t know much about re-constructing furniture, or how to re-create it so it becomes even better. My co-workers from the Upcycling (I took a day off today.) are true masters in that. I just repaired this and dyed it. With just a little effort, I got de Boed something nice to use for decoration. 

Allright, that´s about it. Thank you all for reading.  

Good evening at the 18th off September, 2020.

 

Good evening everyone, 

An idea for a book came up in my mind. For a book or tv-show or even a movie, where one off the main characters is schizophrenic, but on the other hand always wants to be dependable. When something or someone big asks her to be reliable and asks her for something important where she has to keep sincere integrity, her sane mental state perfectly is, but when she becomes delusional and gets an episode off her schizophrenia, it falls apart and the thing breaks down. The show could focus on this characteristics, and how lame she feels everytime she gets out off the delusional state and her true personality takes over again. And how she develops over time.  

It could be a touching plot for a tv show or a movie. It should be called 'Trust me like anything.' - I wish I could write literature. But my story would be much bigger and more complicated like that, if it would be about me, I would focus on what has happened in my life due to my disease. The main character in 'Trust me like anything.' would just be an outtake off specific parts and more focused on personal traits than on major happenings. 'Trust me like anything.' would not be a suitable title for my story. I'm most off the time dependable, I barely break promises, but something big asking me for help never crossed my path, to be honest. 

**

Girl Power 

I have been repairing a small side table at de Boed. It was placed in a living room-like corner, with a few couches and a TV, but it was broken and life-less. With some dangerous screws sticking out at a place where something was missing. I happened to be annoyed by the thing for a few weeks, wondering why there was no handy man available to repair it, (You'd wonder why they'd place that there to begin with.) But then I thought to myself: 'Why don't you do it yourself?' women, in the 21st century, (especially me.) Should know better than to depend on a man. I took the item to a creative corner, and with some help from two other ladies who repaired the small bars and screwed a replacing bar back in place, I made something out off it. After I got a little help to repair it, I decided on to dye it olive green. There was nothing against dying it green, (No complaints from de Boed's management) and now it's getting dry with it's second coat off green paint on.

I have been scrubbing and dying it myself, it happened in two days. (Not that it took me two days to dye it, but it took time for both coats off paint to dry.)  I'll varnish it this weekend, or on monday (It depends on who is at service during weekends if I'm allowed to do so this weekend.) and put it back in that corner afterwards and hopefully give the entire corner a little more allure.  

They are thankfull for me to have taken on that work. The plan is to place something nice on top to finish it's decorating function. I saved them money and got them a nice piece off decoration. Women should get more into DIY works, especially if they are single or in any other way have no man in their lives to do it for them. 

I'm a single woman, my father is death and my brothers live in another village. I can't just ask a strange man to do things for me. I wish to become a little more handy myself. Though I am thankfull for the women who helped me repairing that side table. Despite it being necessairy for me myself to become handy, It's fun to work with other people on the other hand and work alltogheter on something. (I have been thinking more about this. Wishing to be capable to do more DIY) I'll place a picture off that side table on here after the varnish has dried. Women can do anything. I hope I inspired people with this. 

My personal lesson from this, and to all off my readers: If you think you can do something about an issue in your surrounding instead off only complaining about it, I think you should do it and solve the problem instead. No matter what gender you have. ( but this matter is a little more ment to motivate girl power.) 

Allright, that's about it. 

Thank you for reading.  

    

Good evening at the 16th off September, 2020.

 

I had to make soup without the requested ingredients. I could blame myself for it, as I had handed my list off groceries for the Minestrone soup (Italian soup.) a bit too late. I had to work with what could be found in de Boed´s pantry. I got quite far with broth cubes, fresh herbs, potatoes, minced meat and some vegetables actually ment for bami and luckily I found a left over off vermicelli I have used before. I´m glad I requested a stock off broth cubes for soup making every wednesday. I had no complaints so far. Luckily no one mentioned the lack off ingredients. (I can be a bit laid back when it comes to handing over requests, or promises like that. I should learn from this, but I know ahead I´m going to be slack with it a next time and a time after that. You´d think I´d be higher educated if I wouldn´t be slack with such things. I have had that issue at school, and I am unfortunately not much working ahead off deadlines as a grown up woman either.) 

I managed to prepare wednesday soup, despite everything. Luckily. 

What I did make in time, was apple crumble for the entire dinner group today, but that was due to them having a huge amount off apples.  I was allowed to lay my hands on them and make something with it today. It turned out pretty well. I love making apple crumble a lot during fall, as apples are my ´comfort cooking.´ as you could say it. And during fall they are in season.

**

This monday, I made a necklace and a bracelet in some amazing bold colours. I think they look festive and floral. 

  

I considered to keep them myself, but they have been on the shelve for two days, and I decided to donate them to de Boed's outlet shop to help them making a bit off money and to let them be worn and appreciated by other women. As most off the time I don't wear what I make myself. I don't know why. I do have a set off self-made earrings I wear when I wish to feel fabulous, but neck and wrist jewelry is barely worn by me. So it's for the lucky woman who finds them tomorrow/ whenever it's found by someone in de Boed's shop. 

***

I had a bit off a depressed feeling yesterday. I believe it has to do with my job at the Upcycling shop. When I'm working there, I enjoy it but it takes so much energy and I feel inspirationless these weeks when I'm there. I have been making children's treats, but a piece off jewelry (What I'm actually hired for) doesn't come out off my hands. Something makes it hard and almost draining to pick up my work and start creating items again like I used to. What I've been making already sells pretty well, but new jewelry, or even a few cute earrings, are hard to feel inspired for. It slurps energy rather than giving me energy. I'm one off these lucky people who have a creative job, I shouldn't complain. But it's probably a good idea to take a break from it. I decided not to attempt tomorrow to re-load my energy (aka, doing something at de Boed instead) and see when or if I feel like going there again. I feel less gloomy by deciding to take a break and calling off for tomorrow. I hope this doesn't sound spoiled. I know people who would do anything to have a job anyway, or who would do anything for a creative job like mine. It's just that I can't put up with it anymore. I don't know why. I'm sorry to my great colleagues and the two amazing managers who are most off the time helping me perfectly. I feel spoiled. But on the other hand, my energies are almost back by deciding not to go. 

allright, that's about it for today. 

I hope you enjoyed reading.  

 

 

It got sucked out off my thumb - and that´s no lie.

 

Good evening everyone, 

Warning: Medical news, it might not be a pleasant thing to read for some people. 

There has been this issue going on with them taking my blood for a bloodtest having to do with my guts. This morning, another specialist showed up at my house to give it a try, (About the third in three weeks) And she suceeded, she could not get it out off my arms, but when making a fist with my right arm, she told me a vein on my thumb showed up beautifully while doing so, and she tapped off five small tubes off blood out off my right thumb. I hope something shows. If nothing shows, they have no information on which based they can help me any further. If something shows- they have a clue on how to help me, despite no diarrhea has been going on these weeks. The Mebeverine has been stopped, and I must say, I have no cramps in my stomach anymore these weeks. I doubt anything serious will show. 

Being pricked in your thumb vein is a bit more painfull than to be pricked in your arm veins. Still I refused to let that pain get in the way off the necessairy blood they had to take. It was for my own good will to hold my breathe a bit. I´ll get the result within a week or two. If anything serious shows up, they´ll inform me about that ahead. 

Alright, that´s about it for this weblog. I feel like writing more today, as this wasn´t just a day for a bloodtest. 

Thank you for reading.