A small side table safed from being thrown away.

 

Good evening everyone, 

This is the result off me saving a side table from thrash, it needed to be repaired and dyed a nice shade off green to be put in a state a bit better before it got broken. 

I didn´t cheat by skipping the inside. It´s completely dyed green. Except for the small ends to it´s legs. But it will stand on that all the time so the paint might come off too easily. I decided on keeping them bare. 

Today I have varnished it, it´s about to dry, and then it will be placed back in the sitting room corner where I found it. They told me they are about to buy a plant to put on it for extra decoration. 

For someone who has worked about 3 years in an upcycling, I don´t know much about re-constructing furniture, or how to re-create it so it becomes even better. My co-workers from the Upcycling (I took a day off today.) are true masters in that. I just repaired this and dyed it. With just a little effort, I got de Boed something nice to use for decoration. 

Allright, that´s about it. Thank you all for reading.  

Good evening at the 18th off September, 2020.

 

Good evening everyone, 

An idea for a book came up in my mind. For a book or tv-show or even a movie, where one off the main characters is schizophrenic, but on the other hand always wants to be dependable. When something or someone big asks her to be reliable and asks her for something important where she has to keep sincere integrity, her sane mental state perfectly is, but when she becomes delusional and gets an episode off her schizophrenia, it falls apart and the thing breaks down. The show could focus on this characteristics, and how lame she feels everytime she gets out off the delusional state and her true personality takes over again. And how she develops over time.  

It could be a touching plot for a tv show or a movie. It should be called 'Trust me like anything.' - I wish I could write literature. But my story would be much bigger and more complicated like that, if it would be about me, I would focus on what has happened in my life due to my disease. The main character in 'Trust me like anything.' would just be an outtake off specific parts and more focused on personal traits than on major happenings. 'Trust me like anything.' would not be a suitable title for my story. I'm most off the time dependable, I barely break promises, but something big asking me for help never crossed my path, to be honest. 

**

Girl Power 

I have been repairing a small side table at de Boed. It was placed in a living room-like corner, with a few couches and a TV, but it was broken and life-less. With some dangerous screws sticking out at a place where something was missing. I happened to be annoyed by the thing for a few weeks, wondering why there was no handy man available to repair it, (You'd wonder why they'd place that there to begin with.) But then I thought to myself: 'Why don't you do it yourself?' women, in the 21st century, (especially me.) Should know better than to depend on a man. I took the item to a creative corner, and with some help from two other ladies who repaired the small bars and screwed a replacing bar back in place, I made something out off it. After I got a little help to repair it, I decided on to dye it olive green. There was nothing against dying it green, (No complaints from de Boed's management) and now it's getting dry with it's second coat off green paint on.

I have been scrubbing and dying it myself, it happened in two days. (Not that it took me two days to dye it, but it took time for both coats off paint to dry.)  I'll varnish it this weekend, or on monday (It depends on who is at service during weekends if I'm allowed to do so this weekend.) and put it back in that corner afterwards and hopefully give the entire corner a little more allure.  

They are thankfull for me to have taken on that work. The plan is to place something nice on top to finish it's decorating function. I saved them money and got them a nice piece off decoration. Women should get more into DIY works, especially if they are single or in any other way have no man in their lives to do it for them. 

I'm a single woman, my father is death and my brothers live in another village. I can't just ask a strange man to do things for me. I wish to become a little more handy myself. Though I am thankfull for the women who helped me repairing that side table. Despite it being necessairy for me myself to become handy, It's fun to work with other people on the other hand and work alltogheter on something. (I have been thinking more about this. Wishing to be capable to do more DIY) I'll place a picture off that side table on here after the varnish has dried. Women can do anything. I hope I inspired people with this. 

My personal lesson from this, and to all off my readers: If you think you can do something about an issue in your surrounding instead off only complaining about it, I think you should do it and solve the problem instead. No matter what gender you have. ( but this matter is a little more ment to motivate girl power.) 

Allright, that's about it. 

Thank you for reading.  

    

Good evening at the 16th off September, 2020.

 

I had to make soup without the requested ingredients. I could blame myself for it, as I had handed my list off groceries for the Minestrone soup (Italian soup.) a bit too late. I had to work with what could be found in de Boed´s pantry. I got quite far with broth cubes, fresh herbs, potatoes, minced meat and some vegetables actually ment for bami and luckily I found a left over off vermicelli I have used before. I´m glad I requested a stock off broth cubes for soup making every wednesday. I had no complaints so far. Luckily no one mentioned the lack off ingredients. (I can be a bit laid back when it comes to handing over requests, or promises like that. I should learn from this, but I know ahead I´m going to be slack with it a next time and a time after that. You´d think I´d be higher educated if I wouldn´t be slack with such things. I have had that issue at school, and I am unfortunately not much working ahead off deadlines as a grown up woman either.) 

I managed to prepare wednesday soup, despite everything. Luckily. 

What I did make in time, was apple crumble for the entire dinner group today, but that was due to them having a huge amount off apples.  I was allowed to lay my hands on them and make something with it today. It turned out pretty well. I love making apple crumble a lot during fall, as apples are my ´comfort cooking.´ as you could say it. And during fall they are in season.

**

This monday, I made a necklace and a bracelet in some amazing bold colours. I think they look festive and floral. 

  

I considered to keep them myself, but they have been on the shelve for two days, and I decided to donate them to de Boed's outlet shop to help them making a bit off money and to let them be worn and appreciated by other women. As most off the time I don't wear what I make myself. I don't know why. I do have a set off self-made earrings I wear when I wish to feel fabulous, but neck and wrist jewelry is barely worn by me. So it's for the lucky woman who finds them tomorrow/ whenever it's found by someone in de Boed's shop. 

***

I had a bit off a depressed feeling yesterday. I believe it has to do with my job at the Upcycling shop. When I'm working there, I enjoy it but it takes so much energy and I feel inspirationless these weeks when I'm there. I have been making children's treats, but a piece off jewelry (What I'm actually hired for) doesn't come out off my hands. Something makes it hard and almost draining to pick up my work and start creating items again like I used to. What I've been making already sells pretty well, but new jewelry, or even a few cute earrings, are hard to feel inspired for. It slurps energy rather than giving me energy. I'm one off these lucky people who have a creative job, I shouldn't complain. But it's probably a good idea to take a break from it. I decided not to attempt tomorrow to re-load my energy (aka, doing something at de Boed instead) and see when or if I feel like going there again. I feel less gloomy by deciding to take a break and calling off for tomorrow. I hope this doesn't sound spoiled. I know people who would do anything to have a job anyway, or who would do anything for a creative job like mine. It's just that I can't put up with it anymore. I don't know why. I'm sorry to my great colleagues and the two amazing managers who are most off the time helping me perfectly. I feel spoiled. But on the other hand, my energies are almost back by deciding not to go. 

allright, that's about it for today. 

I hope you enjoyed reading.  

 

 

It got sucked out off my thumb - and that´s no lie.

 

Good evening everyone, 

Warning: Medical news, it might not be a pleasant thing to read for some people. 

There has been this issue going on with them taking my blood for a bloodtest having to do with my guts. This morning, another specialist showed up at my house to give it a try, (About the third in three weeks) And she suceeded, she could not get it out off my arms, but when making a fist with my right arm, she told me a vein on my thumb showed up beautifully while doing so, and she tapped off five small tubes off blood out off my right thumb. I hope something shows. If nothing shows, they have no information on which based they can help me any further. If something shows- they have a clue on how to help me, despite no diarrhea has been going on these weeks. The Mebeverine has been stopped, and I must say, I have no cramps in my stomach anymore these weeks. I doubt anything serious will show. 

Being pricked in your thumb vein is a bit more painfull than to be pricked in your arm veins. Still I refused to let that pain get in the way off the necessairy blood they had to take. It was for my own good will to hold my breathe a bit. I´ll get the result within a week or two. If anything serious shows up, they´ll inform me about that ahead. 

Alright, that´s about it for this weblog. I feel like writing more today, as this wasn´t just a day for a bloodtest. 

Thank you for reading.   

Stone cold

 

Good evening everyone. 

If you could make up a world, what standards and what values would you like the inhabitants to have?

I'm worried, I believe that what was once prcious to me has rotated 90 degrees and has changed to a mentality I take my hands off. I feel it's not right to show up there anymore if you are plus size, an outcast or simply truly diffrent from the rest and that it has become the kind off rat race I'm not into, and I would never drag myself through that. It's a shame the fantasy world has become like that. 

In a land before time, all people where accepted completely no matter how weird they where, or how ugly 'real life.' assumed they where. That's all gone now. 

It has become superficial and it grows even more superficial each day and I'm not into it. I loathe that kind off mentallity. They can shove it in their ass. I feel allright, I'm not crying. I feel annoyed but it's rather something that makes me think: 

'Just when you think Vana Events and it's followers can't sink any lower, they prove me wrong and hit rock bottom again.' 

And they anoy me even more with their infantile behaviour which doesn't even hurt anymore since I expect nothing but morron behaviour from them. It's not me, it's them. It's the main reason why I refuse to show up at their events anymore and decided to focus on soft and friendly real life instead, Real life gives so much more fullfillment now than that group off superficial retards ever has done. It's one off my well-kept secrets that I do well in real life and don't need the appreciation off fake people like them, or 'the internet.' Whatever shady and ignorant that might mean nowadays. 

Allright, that's about it. 

Thank you for reading.  

 

To be pricked or not to be pricked

 

Good afternoon everyone, 

Warning: Medical news. It might gross some people out. 

Thursday morning I had an appointment with a specialist from General Practice, or probably from SALT (The countries biggest organisation for bloodtests.) (She didn't tell) It just turned out I'm impossible to prick, and my veins on both side are too hard for her to be found despite her professionality in bloodtests. 

It's something to be weary about. I'm not at panic, but it's not a handy thing to be so hard to be tapped blood from for serious medical tests. My guts are behaving well, though this morning I had cramps due to having a lot off unhealthy yet very delicious foods yesterday. I don't want to blame my mother for that, it's just that I came over to her and she decided on to order Turkish for dinner and it came with plenty off roasted meat, garlic sauce, fries and a too delicious kebab rice. I never eat like that and I couldn't help but shoving in a lot. We had some Ben & Jerry's ice cream for dessert, so you can guess the condition to my guts this morning. It's only once in a while I eat like that. Mainly I live sober and probably as healthy as I can get. I think everything will be allright once I got home, and it's passed and I'm on my usuall lifestyle again where I think I need to mock over every small cup off fresh coffee I drink. (I've had about five today only, but I prefer to blame myself as mom probably thinks she spoils me this weekend.) I think in general, the medical condition to my guts is not so bad, as long as I don't force things too much. But isn't that something natural? If you overly force things in your body, it's going to get damaged. On the other hand, I can't resist a feast like yesterday evening with my family. I'm glad I took part, despite to have had to pay a price this morning. It's sometimes impossible to weigh in mind what matters most at such a situation. 

The next step in this annoying thing with my veins going on, is that I have to go to a location where SALT pricks blood, or even worse: to the hospital if things don't do at their blood test location. Mom told me she has this issue with her veins aswell, so it's running a bit in the family. Luckily, she could be helped at a SALT location.   

***

I believe de Boed misses my baking this weekend, but I just needed a break from the usuall. Visiting my family is often a fun thing to do these days. I have been shopping a bit in their town for post cards (I'm a bit old fashioned, I send post cards to people sometimes instead off just using the internet.) and things from the drugstore. The bookstore in Castricum (where my family lives) has gorgeous post cards, inspired by art from a variety off museums which are just stunning compared to standard franchise book store post cards. Post stamps are ridiculously expensive and they become more expensive each year, but I still buy them as, well, you need them to send your postcards. It's fun to pick just the right one for someone where you think they will highly appreciate the image and the message. I love that.

Tomorrow I will go home to Zaandam, I have an urge to go out more and do more fun things than just being in at home or go to work all the time, or just going to de Boed. It probably takes a bit more than a coffee around the corner to get some fresh air in my mind these days. I probably need a bit off a vacation. Or a few fun trips if that isn't possible. Just -something- to take more breaks from everyday life to keep me going every day.  

Allright, that's about it.   

Thank you for reading. 

  

Medical news

 Good afternoon everyone, 

My guts are healthy again. I got set off Mebeverine, but I haven't heard the last off it. (Warning: Medical blog.) 

Previous week, the General Practice doctor assistant came to visit to collect some off my blood to test it to see if my blood levels where okay. I suppose they could have been lame previous week. It's just that the doctor's assistent failed to prick me and tap off some blood since my veins on two sides (Both left and right arm) are too deep to prick. She got back without what she needed. I think now I'm doing better, my levels simply can't be bad. But she said she will return after to have discussed with the doctor what she's about to do next, and probably let SALT (The country's largest organisation for blood tests) make me donate some blood. I also requested the psychiatric health care bloodtest for this year. So I have two bloodtests ahead, and I hate those. I have to do one at least every year for the psychiatrist to see if I have levels that can inflict medication, or my health. But now I probably have to do two. Off one off which seems a bit useless since the problem is solved. I should tell them about that. Maybe it influences what they are going to do and it might save me from a useless test.

Allright, that's about it for this weblog. 

Thank you for reading. I stopped telling 'I hope you enjoyed it.', since that seems a bit too harsh to me personally for a subject like this. But maybe you did enjoy the story and that's not a bad thing.   

A few lemon-taste based baked goods.

 

Good afternoon everyone, 

I took the idea off wishing to finish my net off lemons. I had to order them to fullfill an amount off items to get delivered what I basically needed that weekend. I had been snooping around on pinterest, and ordered some ricotta cheese with them. I had some inspiration for Italian ricotta cake. It turned out beautifully perfect and I donated most off it (Minus a slice, simply to taste some off it) to de Boed yesterday. 

 Receipe for Italian Ricotta cake (My receipe) 

It was perfect. It tastes sunny, It tasted Italian and it's a perfect pick me up on any day. It was all gone during one coffee moment, and people kept complimenting me on it. 

Yesterday I created a self-thought out cake receipe, somewhat whispered in by voices. They have good ideas sometimes worthit listening to. Sometimes that kind off creativity seems heaven sent, while other times it's as iff the devil himself forces me to create things. This voice was kinda scary, but helpfull. (I made it in a delusional state, and that's, crazy enough, the best way for me to be creative as the result off both heaven and hell give me the best results. To be honest, I fear none off both. Neither hell or heaven can frighten me.) 

This tiny bundt cake is part off a big amount  off raisin - citrus cake I created yesterday evening in my food processor. I bought myself one this july and it works perfect. I haven't made a picture off the large version off this cake, unfortunately- and I have the idea they are already working their way out off it by now at de Boed. I'm glad I have a community centre on hand near by to donate stuff to. And I'm glad all off my bakings are appreciated most off the time. I wish to share my receipe with you. 

Raisin citrus cake: 

Ingredients: 

- 200 grams off unsalted butter 

- 200 grams off light brown caster sugar 

- a teaspon off vanillin sugar 

- 200 grams off all purpose flower and 2 tablespoons more if the batter is too moist. 

- 4 medium size eggs

- a bit off half fat milk. 

- a teaspoon off salt 

- a teaspoon off baking powder 

- a teaspoon off baking soda 

- a teaspoon off nutmeg 

- a teaspoon off kardemom 

- juice from one lemon 

Citrus raisins: 

- about 400 grams off white raisins 

- juice from one lemon 

-juice and zest from one orange 

- a squeeze off honey. 

1. one day ahead, well your raisins in a bowl with fresh lemon and orange juice combined, a squeeze off honey and adjust the zest off one orange. Set aside in the fridge. The next day you will mention most off the juices are soaked in by your raisins. They taste pretty well this way, but it's just step one. 

2. In a bowl, whisk the all purpose flour with baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside. 

3. Grease in your cake molds and preheat your oven to 165 degree celsius. 

4. Cream the butter combined with the caster sugar, the vanillin sugar, the kardemom, the nutmeg, and the lemon juice. Mix untill nice and smooth. I adjusted a little bit off milk to help my food processor mixing all off this. But if your butter is soft enough, it's not necessairy. 

5. Adjust the 4 eggs. one at a time is preferrable, but I did two at a time and it wasn't a bad idea. 

6. Adjust the flour mix in two steps, finish the batter by adding the raisins. Look if you think it's too moist. adjust more flour if that is the case. 

7. put in a cake mold, and if there is too much, you can put it in smaller, more funny cake molds like I did yesterday evening. 

8. Bake untill golden, (when a sharp item like a knife comes out dry after inserting it and takin it out, it's good.) which took me about 55 minutes, but it depends on your oven. Smaller cake molds take less time, about 30 to 40 minutes. 

I allowed myself to eat the small bund cake to taste if it was all good and well made. I have to say it tastes a bit better after one night in the fridge. The next day it's even better. 

allright, that's about this for this blog. 

I thank you for reading.    

A day for lemons

Good afternoon everyone, 

I wasn't allowed to go to work today. Everyone found it was a better idea for me to stay in and eat as little as possible, and simply to stay near my toilet, just in case things come up. 

I decided on to make myself usefull. I made a tray off lemon brownies and did an attempt to make lemon glaze. The brownies (Or blondies? as these are blonde) look perfect, my lemon glaze tastes perfect but doesn't look picture perfect and that's a pitty. My camera requests to charge the battery, so I'm afraid they won't be shown on here. I hope the old folks at de Boed will enjoy it. I will be in big trouble if I eat any off it, but I felt like I couldn't do nothing today.

I haven't had Mebeverine yesterday evening. I somehow feel a bit better, but I know I shouldn't cheer too early. I should be on my guard and have no coffee at the coffee moment, but just stick to healthy tea. Nothing bad about fresh tea, I drink that during night time before bed. it's just that I enjoy coffee with sweet treats during coffee time, but now I have to refuse that. It feels bad. What if I'm never allowed coffee and sweetness anymore? I barely have anything else in life to enjoy. I won't cry over it, my health needs to be in the first place. But it's something to bale over. I feel like I already live like a nun, no alcohol, no men, no gambling, no drugs- just a sober and helpfull life to others. I'm fine with it, but can I have at least... coffee with sweetness with it? It's something even real nuns are allowed to have. Any religion around the world, no matter how strict, will allow you coffee with a brownie every now and then and tell you it doesn't matter to god. (Or at least that's what I think. I'm not very religious to be honest.) Or maybe I shouldn't have coffee too much, and then allow myself a bit off coffee sometimes to make it bearable. It's been the pharmaceutic industry that has caused this upon me. Right? My guts wouldn't be so weak without that mental medication. I don't see why people would laugh about this as it's cruel and painfull. If life gives you lemons- cook with them. I should better keep my head held high and laugh about it as far as possible. It's probably a good thing I'm not capable to eat anything as much as I like anymore. I'm pretty fat and maybe this can make me loose weight. I shouldn't be upset. Allright, it's time for donating that tray off fresh lemon blondies to de Boed. 

Thank you for reading.