Good evening at the 29th off August, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was rainy, cloudy, gloomy and there was no sun ray in sight. 

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I have been switching a medicine from morning to evening. It's been rough since I have to get used to that and somehow I feel it keeps me from sleeping. Sleep is sacred to me since I desperately need it to function. The reason for the medication to have been switched, is that the InVega drains energy during daytime so by putting me on it in the evening, they hope the worst effects occur during night when I sleep so I can be more energetic during daytime. So far the theory, when it comes to it I think I can't sleep due to it. I don't know why, but I have the idea taking too much medication at the same time gives me some kind off a medication kick which keeps me from sleeping. I've had two nights without any sleep at all now. I think we can say it doesn't work for me, unfortunately. I don't know what the psychiatrist is going to say: Keep on trying and hoping it will fade, or switch back to the old pattern and let me live with general tiredness and bad levels off energy all the time. 

At morning, I could finally sleep a few hours but I don't like the feeling it gives me for now. The cocktail off medication in the evening has a weird effect on me, unfortunately. 

The rest off the day I spend on baking cake with golden raisins and dried prunes which I served warm during coffee this afternoon. I found out today that cake with dried fruits is best served warm as it does something for the flavor. Usually I keep my cakes an evening in the refridgirator to be served cool the next day, but today I handed out a warm cake. I learned something new today and people loved it, nevertless. 

It's one off the best things in life, sharing food with people and brighten up an otherwise boring sunday for them. Giving presents is fun and for me it comes with a good feeling for myself in return. I believe in the philosophy that 'It's good to give.' for both me and the person receiving something. Sharing (preferably own made) food, sending nice postcards and giving special gifts all have that feeling for me. (I'm old-fashioned, I send postcards with heartfull messages to people.) I'm also good at picking stuff for people. If I do say so myself. I have somewhat off a sense and a general overvieuw on what suits someone so it's usually appreciated what I do. Then again, -It's good to give.-  

I finished my painted rocks today, tomorrow I will upload a picture off them but it's as if they're cursed. When applying lacquer to them, two people started to fight each other and yelling at each other while I laid a finishing hand on my work. It doesn't deserve to be cursed, I used such nice colours and patterns for them and you'd rather expect something good to happen when you see what I've made. Sometimes the world works a bit weird and it's not my intention to make stuff which causes fights. I feel as if the therapeutic effect off my work has benefitted me somehow. I was thinking off the new century. How at the beginning off 'the age off Aquarius.' Everyone had such high hopes for positivity, but how it worked out rather contra on the world. The world is rather going insane instead off truly healing. I felt frustrated about that. I made pretty works, but maybe the surrounding picked up on my vibrations which caused people to cause drama among each other. That was not my intention. But maybe 'de Boed.' is a boiling point anyway during weekends when it comes to drama and I picked the wrong time to be onto artwork. It's just how you prefer to see it. A madhouse will be a madhouse at times, no matter what. 

Despite bad omens, I feel inspired to create more stuff and paint more stuff since I found it helpfull to get over with some feelings. Art therapy and mindlessly painting stuff a certain way feels good. Anyway, it's finished and tomorrow I hope to leave my audience just as questioned as myself on how such art can cause an atmosphere off fights. Or at least liking what I made somewhat. 

These times are dark, but with what I'm doing I hope to create a little light. Not always clear to some, but I hope to cheer people up with food and positivity in daily life. I'm lucky the older generations are still sensitive for that and I'm capable to do what I have in mind with them without them misunderstanding or acting weird on it. Food, colourfullness and kindness still do good to people. (Kindness is the intention when I don't feel exhausted and drained from medication. In that case I can come off as a crank and have to look after myself first. I'm not egocentric in daily life, just a bit more onto myself when it comes to that. I believe you should never get yourself into true danger when you can avoid that and keep guard off your own well-being when it's required.) I'm not a care taker and I have no understanding off what is good for mental patients, but I do know how to mildly entertain a crowd to make them feel a bit better. I'm also a good singer and I sing for them when there is music on the program. They love me singing for them in the microphone. One off the best things about all off this? All off those compliments which do truly good for me. I love my audience as they love me. 

Allright, that's about it. - 

Thank you for reading.