Good afternoon at the 23th off May, 2021.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's cold and rainy outside, with here and there some breakthroughs off sunshine. Some cracks in the clouds today but it's still no nice weather.

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Why do I keep track off the weather each day anyway you might ask. It's to show you my sense off reality. I might be schizo, but I'm perfectly aware off the world around me and I know what's happening for real. There's nothing wrong with me in the field off awareness about the world around me. I'm not sane, but I can tell the weather, how late it is, what day it is and what has happened in certain situations. I'm keen when it comes to that so be aware and try not to fool me. 

I happen to have no job at the moment. I'm unemployed and I don't know if it suits me or that I would do better trying to find a job (on volunteer base) in my surrounding. The upcycling was making me too tired and sucked out energy after a while so I quit. I believe soup making every wednesday morning is not enough and simply being present at de Boed for a day spending isn't challenging, though it's a challenge being there all the time and coping with fighting old hags (Male and female) and it's general numbness to be there. I could be gratefull I only have to do that while my head and my mind is leaking fluid instead off doing something above my head, but I feel I wish to do a bit more in life on an acceptable level. A job can be an incredible important part off someone's identity and sense off worth in life. 

I still make jewelry when I feel like it and I donate that to de Boed's outlet when it's finished, for them to sell. I barely do that and it's not enough to be called a job. But I don't want to make it look like I'm incredibly eager to get employed since I'm still coping with mental illness. I should moderate everything out when it comes to that as I don't want to overwork myself on any level either. I can't handle a serious ass job with what I got. I got what I need on hand when it comes to basic needs, but maybe I could make it a little more and bring it to a level where I regain energy from what I'm doing instead off feeling empty and sucked out by the day. 

Allright, that's it for now. 

Thank you for reading.