Do you still believe in miracles, my dear?

 Good evening, 

Today started cloudy and a bit rainy but ended sunny. It was one off those days. I haven´t been outside since I have been tested on Corona for having a cold. It should be frontpage news if I caught Corona despite being vaccinated. I hope I haven´t. 

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Today I found out Hector Dexet is author to a children's book 'who ate the ladybug.' But it wasn't what I was looking for. 'Oei, wie heeft Stipje opgegeten?' in het Nederlands, But it's not my genre, I'm a bit too old for that kind off literature. The author looked like a younger version off Johnny Depp however and was good to look at, but I refused. I'm not going to chase him. Hector the ladybug in my mind, however, is a diffrent story. Common people would probably consider that inspiration for a children's book either but I won't go after that. It would make me immature. Hector is fictional and a mindtrick probably. 

Back to the title to this weblog. Miracles do happen. Sometimes when we're most desperate, there is a good chance that we, ordinairy souls with common purposes, no matter how wealthy or poor we are, will be saved by some kind off hand to get us back up in life. It's what we need. When life happened to me, I was miraculously safed a few times. Especially when it comes to housing or getting a place to live despite it being a massive crisis out there for people who can't have an affordable home, and there are many, many my age. Sometimes good things happen and I have gained some off it. 

Love, on the other hand, what this weblog would be mainly about, hasn't knocked on my door for real since forever and I won't believe it will. My part off luck was probably in getting a good home, but maybe I'm forecasting a bad omen if I keep on believing love won't be my part. But it's incredibly hard to believe it will after all. I don't accept anything but someone who is a perfect match for me. I haven't truly found someone like that. I'm too serious for vague flirts. I sense it's not my time for love and I keep myself safe by staying away from drama in this time and place off being. I feel a bit locked up in myself and left over since I'm an old spinster by the age off 28. I never have had a relationship and I come off to myself as someone who will stay left over for a while. Sometimes you got to play hard and distant to stay safe. But it feels better than to give myself to just anyone or falling into wrong hands. A woman alone should use her mind, after all. I just wish I had diffrent things to remember in my youth. It all came down wrong, and stone cold and lonesome. 

To protect yourself is the best thing a woman can do when she has to take care off herself, but cold loneliness and the feeling off not having someone worthit is the price. I'm willing to pay it since I like to keep myself safe and sound and protect myself from the wrong hands. 

Psychiatric health care is no place for a prince charming. I don't like the idea off having a fellow patient since they are unpredictable and like me, too unstable for good things. I keep my distance from trouble when I see or feel it. It's not my thing. Back in my youth I was unatractive and unwanted. Nowadays I act acoy to keep myself out off trouble. Like I told you, I live like a nun in a monestary when it comes to it but it's for my own good. Do I still believe in miracles you ask. Probably not in this time and place where I have to deal with too many issues and prudeness isn't a bad trait for me today. I just wish, I wish upon a star-  a good love won't be off afar. 

Allright, that's about it for now- Thank you all for reading.