I have a cold

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been one off these days where it started rainy but it ended sunny. Days are like this a lot this month. The national lockdown has been lightned up and all shops are open again. The vaccines seem to get Corona under control, finally. 

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I couldn't enjoy the weather, however. I had a moment for myself while being in quarantine at home. I happen to be vaccined, but I have a serious cold today. I mentioned it while I got to the office to get my medication and they put me in personal quaratine again. Luckily I will be tested tomorrow and hopefully the result will come soon to free me from quarantine again. I don't mind having to stay at home, actually, I enjoy being in here and I have been very buisy these weeks with appointments so I took today as a day to rest a bit. Being sick is not the best reason for a day off, but I need it. I'm probably going to take the entire week off to get cured from this cold if I need it. 

There was a time and place where you where a wimp if you took off the entire week to cure from colds. That was something for men, not for responsible women at their plight. They only took off if they had at least 42 degrees off celsius fever or so. Women where true superheroes and they still are. My supervisors as far as I have them are mainly women, and this part off the country is strongly emancipated and depends on working women. I'm proud off it. 

It probably prevents a lot off gossip, jealousy and complaining over every little pain you have if you have your own function and responsible plight. I wish I could join the workforce and do my duty among them. I'm not the one to easily complain about pains or problems. I had to when I got schizophrenic and had to tell the world simply to warn them somewhat or to explain what I had, ever since being handicapped I had to seek serious help with life and got over that kind off shame, but a true modern superwoman in this area off the Netherlands barely complains. She makes fun off her life, cracks jokes instead off complaining, is a bit shameless in her words and manerism but is highly dolled up and feminin, has a loving man by her side and got out off life what she wants. 

I envy that. I rather have / would have had a satisfying career than a family with children off my own. I don't feel heartless about it since I love the family I have, (I'm not married or a mother, but I still have my brothers and my own mother.) but I mainly need a field where I can prove myself somehow. I'm simply ambitious but I use my drivenness for other fields off my life nowadays like my creativity. I would have loved to cause world peace with what I got but I ended up colouring mandala's instead and I like to keep on improving in the field off colouring and jewelry making. 

Previous week I made a bunch off earrings (I forgot to picture them) and donated them to de Boed's outlet shop. I donate stuff for free but I do that to keep on improving my personal skills. Like donating banana cake for free.

I bake because I love to bake and love to improve my baking skills. It gives a sense off fullfillment to make people happy with what I got. fullfillment, admiration and appreciation feel a lot better than a cranky man on the couch who wants life his way and who chagrins about every 'abnormality' you consider creativity and who simply doesn't understand. That would not be to my liking. Being a creative and colourfull soul comes with people's lack off understanding here sometimes. But mainly I cover what kind off a weirdo I am by only showing them the good things. Banana cake is something that always got their appreciation. Luckily, just like bringing new pasta receipes and desserts to the menu by having the urge to cook Italian and a bit fancy sometimes. 

About their mindset on things they aren't familiair with, for example, simply playing songs they've never heard off, no matter if it's an artist they're a fan off, is a bridge too far for some if you come up with that. Sometimes it takes a bit braveness to bring new things to the menu. Like fresh soups with a lot off fresh garlic people considered not to their taste, but the way I prepare them they think it's divine. I got my neighbour liking all varieties to things she thought she wasn't into. She told me she prefers more traditional cooking and basic Dutch kitchen, but as far as that went, She loves everything I make so far.  

My adventures in the kitchen are over as far as that goes, since de Boed lacks in staff and is underemployed in the weekends. They can't find people to help me with cooking and I bale about that. I loved cooking for them and making myself off use while living here and helping them cope with the crisis. I'm only allowed to prepare wednesday soup every wednesday as far as that goes. 

I'm a bit held back when it comes to cooking during the main week as it's more busy on those days and people act stressed if you ask too much off them on those days. Life doesn't give you much out off it when they knot your Ikigai. Cooking food for people and cooking in general is my Ikigai and what I got energy out off in daily life. I bale that it's been made impossible this way to keep on practicing my dearest hobby each weekend in their kitchen. 

Today I practiced my hobby at home by making myself banana Nicecream with frozen raspberries I had bought before. I felt like trying that and it was to my liking, though I adjusted two tablespoons off honey extra to the receipe where it requires only one. But it was a tasty and healthy dessert. Based on fruits and sweetened with honey. I love the wide use off bananas as a replacement for bad stuff in a lot off sweet things. I could get even more skilled by trying more methods to bake healthy stuff instead off baking traditional. I feel inspired to try so and to prepare perfect sweet foods that aren't fattening. 

Allright, that's about it so far. Thank you for reading.