Good afternoon at the 4th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's all gloomy and grey outside. With rainshowers every often. It's as depressing as a doorknob. 

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Speaking off depression, I have the hang to feel gloomy almost all day, if I wouldn't have a hobby which cheered me up this morning/ afternoon, Baking: 

I have been trying to fight my winterblues with these. Two lemoncakes with my version off lemonglaze. Based on the Farmer-cake method, just with lemon zest instead off vanillin sugar. These where kind off an experiment with baking molds I had 'on the shelves.' for some time. It almost beats the depression. I feel good when I think about these, but when my thoughts go fly on their own, the sadness returns. These where not Nordic Ware, but silicon dupes I wanted to try previous summer. And they work just as well. Today I finally felt the need to actually try them. They are for de Boed's afternoon coffee moment tomorrow. I got complimented on them by my mental health nurse, who came to visit to see how I was doing. She said they looked like flowers. (One off them is actually a flower, but the other one could pass as one too.) These cause spring vibes this depressing winter week.  

I have been hoarding some baking ingredients at the supermarket this week, I haven't kept strictly to No-Spend-Month. Among which two lemons and icing sugar for these. But somehow I fear if I don't hoard things like flour, I might grab on an empty shelve the next time I need it, like last year around this time. And I hoarded vanilla extract, sugar and my baking secret which I won't reveal soon. But I felt the urge to buy it though it's not cheap. Other than that, I kept my groceries moderate. It's never a good thing to be driven by fear. But then I should have picked an other hobby before times where groceries have become expensive, or not available at all during a frickin war. And I still want to bake, despite it all. So people at de Boed can have something special with their coffee when I do so. To comfort them during these expensive and uncertain times. I want to make stuff that makes them forget about the crisis while they eat it, but as it all becomes expensive like this, I'm facing it myself even more all the time. I have a lot off baking plans for the upcoming month. It's just that the fears run high on me. But this time I victoried over Russia, for being capable to bake two pretty lemon cakes and they can't take that away from me. 

When I let my thoughts and my emotions run free, I feel angry and upset. I hope it's not winter depression that hits me. Sometimes I have that, and it takes often untill March to be cleared up. I hope we never get to a point where all recourses are truly up, or spare, and our money has vanished like water in the desert heath. We're doing bad right now, but we're not desperate yet. (At least I hope so) I hope we never really get to the point off true despair. I hope we never see a true famine or war ourselves, but I believe we will get a famine in Western Europe, absurd as it might sound now. Ten years ago, it sounded even more insane. We could feast like kings and queens and nobody thought it would go like this. At this moment, we are in the crisis situation and we will see worse. I feel so bad. Today is not for hunger, tomorrow is for cake in my case, but we have to look in the long term in this situation. Immense droughts and banning farmers from the lands won't do good for it. 

We should keep our heads clear, and make ourselves up for the war that's ahead to us. These years are no time to play. We need to be sure to have enough sources to keep ourselves alive during a crisis and a war that will take some time. I wish people would be more serious when it comes to this, and stop being such a tyke about it. 

We have more than enough available now to clear the job. We can live through a crisis and tell the tale if we think smart. Shelves in shops are still full off equipment and stock, and I advise you to get yourself a stock off items in case you need them, and some key items to survive would be handy too. It's never good to be ruled by fear or panic, but prepare for the worst as much as you can. 

 Allright, that's about it for now-   

Thank you for reading.