Good afternoon at the 28th off September, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today was changing and cold, with a ray off sunshine just recent. Your typicall day in Autumn. 

*

My computer was at the Repair Cafe this week, something to do with a broken adapter. But they ordered a new one and I have access to it again. Though owing them 30 euro's for it. But it's no problem. I have been on Facebook and internet on my phone, but my laptop is more relaxed at certain points. 

The best way to set my mind off off things and have something on my weekend is baking. Baking, small house chores, keeping my kitchen tidy- mind set off stuff, and I needed it. Today was for preparing a batch off peanutbutter cupcakes. 

Frosted with peanutbutter with chunks frosting, and my own adjustment, chocolate sprinkles and coconut flakes on top. The receipe comes from '500 cupcakes.' Except that I left out baking powder and let it fly on self-rising flour on it's own, and adjusted a teaspoon off vanilla to the cupcake batter. I think they have an English version off the book. I needed a mind set off, I didn't see myself just coffeeing and doing nothing all day this weekend. I used the 'swoop and swirl.' technique for it's frosting. A piping bag is still too much off a difficulty, though I could try and practice. But maybe when food prices are not that insane anymore. 'Swoop and swirl.' with a fork is a guarantee for succes, while piping bag technique could fail. It's 18 cupcakes with a massive amount off icing sugar and peanut butter. I'm going to share these tomorrow at de Boed's afternoon coffee time. I was allowed to store them in their fridge, mine has little space at the moment. They look decadent and delicious. 

I still think, bad case, 2028 will be for the end off the Ukraine- Russia war. Just an insight, I can't explain to most. But it's not why I need a set- off. I barely dare to speak out WHY I needed a mind set off on this very weblog, while actually I discuss everything on here. But it's kinda sensitive. It's difficult. But a buisy Saturday helped me through. It's something about a man, and it's too close for comfort. That's all I can say. To seek a way to set off your mind is what they always reccomend to us, mental patients. So here we got 18 nice peanutbutter cupcakes. 

Allright, that's about it for now, - 

Thank you for reading.  

 

Good evening at the 10th off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's raining cats and dogs this evening. 

*

I wish for you to consider a certain possibility, something, an outcome that might be. 

Namely for Trump to win the American elections and the situation in the world to continue the way it is. It is very well possible Trump will win those. I don't know why I'm telling you this, just the fairies whispering it in, so to say. It's a potential, it's drama, it's not the end off the world, but it could be bad for economics and peace. 

Why do I think so? Is it just a personal fear? No, it's the fairies whispering in conservative America is not ready for a black female president. It's too much for them to handle. Despite Trump having records as long as an arm. (It's how they said it back in the olden days in films: 'A record as long as an arm.') 

I know some off you believe in fairytales and Kamala sounds too good to be true. Be aware conservative America might strike in this. I think I should warn you for the possibility. I don't know if 'the world ever after.' will come true with Trump for the American president. And all MY hopes for the future are fairytales after all, including that wicked 'New Grunge' look I have foreseen. 

'Een gewaarschuwd mens telt voor twee.' As how they say it in Dutch. 'A warned person counts for two.' As how it goes translated, I don't know if there is a litteral American translation to that proverb. I think the world should be warned. It's something that might happen. Don't be too optimistic about the future these days. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 9th off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was the last nice day according to weather forecasts, we're at the beginning off a period off Autumn, cold and rain. 

*

I'm on period pills, pills that are supposed to cause a woman's menstruation period. And I feel it. I'm emotionally kinda wobbly. And I'm mentally wobbly. Kinda stressed these days. I could do better. 

Maybe they will call Dirty Blonde hair Mayonaise and Ketchup hair later on. You know, that modern 'IT-hair.' In the shade Dirty Blonde. I also have it myself. Mayonaise and Ketchup colour. I told Mark van der Stelt's ex-wife to 'vreet her arrogance with Mayonaise and Ketchup.' ('Vreet die kapsones op met mayonaise en ketchup!') On the back off a letter omce. I don't know if she got that. To think you are a whole lot off something is one thing, to think I respect that when it's not adjust is another. 

But yes, the Mayonaise and Ketchup hair off modern war-era. And everyone has it. I think I'm the first one to come up with 'Mayonaise and Ketchup hair.' While having it myself. I have the feeling we're not off that trend yet. I'm moody enough to offend people with that certain hair to Mayonaise and Ketchup hair. It's something else than calling it 'statement hair.' all the time. 

I have trouble eating and getting food in. I eat, but with difficulty. I still get my meals in, but not that much and not wholehearted, and not scorfing it in like a wolf, like sometimes. It's in moderation and that's allready kinda hard. Not because it's expensive- I eat according to Dutch standards, and it's not too bad, but with trouble getting even one plate in. I think it's not worrysome yet, but it could be better. Maybe because there's such a burdensome topic about food going on, which makes it hard to eat. And maybe I should respect my nature. And not go against it. As long as I get basic needed food in. I even had fried eggs for lunch and because it's 'that time',  I forced myself a chocolate bar in. (Which was very good, actually.) I need food to keep the medication working. A start up in the morning to fill my stomach before I got my meds. I think it's not that worrysome yet, As long as I eat. But it's strange how actually I eat less, and gain weight. Since food seems less appealing to me. I think something is wrong with me if it makes me lose a crazy amount off weight. Since that's not the matter yet, it's only a small issue. 

Maybe it's even a good thing, given I'm a big woman with enough fat to handle less food. And maybe I'm going back to honey blonde when this crisis is done. I love a nice shade off honey in my hair. No matter if it's the latest trend. It could just be an awfull lot off time further when I do so. Just like new glasses. Maybe I should not wait too long with them. I just hope I don't have to owe up in vanity when it comes to frames. I'm sensitive for them looking awesome, but it's probably gonna cost. 

Maybe I need to reveal something about this crisis and war. There are rumors about Iluminati wishing to enslave us to make us work for them with high debts to owe up for basic life costs. But that's not true and that's NOT going to happen. After this war and crisis, it's truly done. And people can act a little barbie-goth unruly for a while. And we're going to see better glamour than the Mayonaise and Ketchup fashion off nowadays. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

What are we supposed to do nowadays?

 Good morning everyone, 

It's still fresh outside from the night, I have my windows wide open so the room can cool ahead to a hot day. 

*

People might wonder what we should do nowadays, war, crisis, negativity- but honesty is, that I think people are not about to do it at all. I think most will not like to fight a war, but they won't fight the government either. 

I can't give advice on how to do it during a crisis. I'm not the right person to ask. I think cooking and having a tidy home will help me through. But I'm not an expert on war or crisis handling. I just think you should be capable to cover the massive costs off this crisis. I can't deny. You need a good job for this. And a work mentality. Or a place to stay with little costs. Like my care home. I don't have to owe up much. I just have to sit it out in here. 

I think to eat and to live go before all else nowadays. But that's my advice to the poor people. I can't help with mindset, since my own is wrecked allready and stressed. But I think we should postpone big plans, or cancel them if they don't fit in the long term. If they can't be done in the long term. It might be a bit sour, a life without kids for example, or a home you can't afford nowadays. But don't act stupid and act, and fall down on your face because you where thoughtless. Sometimes we have to take things and be strong. More strong than what was ever demanded off us before, but we have to. That's how life can work. 

And it's a long sit. Allow yourself to breathe every now and then and do a little luxury for yourself. Don't go overboard, but purchase those nice clothes every once in a while, and listen to good music along the road. I should not go too far on advice, I can't take that responsibility. I think you should furniture your home nicely and listen to the good old stuff to cope and make it through. Since it works when you're poor. Keep the thing tidy and homey, and be certain to have a hide out when you need it. It works for me. But that's all advice I can give. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

 

The 'Aquellium'.

 Good evening everyone, we're close to night. 

It's just that I had the idea short before bedtime to explain the Aquellium to you, the Pluto in Aquarius era we're passing. 

Aquarius is future and peace driven, but as far we can see, Pluto only comes with stuff we already know and war, it's the exact opposite off the Aquarius, and that can happen. Sometimes people are the exact opposite off their starsign, and I think this Aquarius to come with the old fashioned, is due to war. Appearently, when war occures, it became incredibly old fashioned and sober. Also due to lack off money, but it's something that stands out: The crave for the old fashioned. I believe it's the 'Aquellium.' As how I had it 'whispered in.' That causes it. And we will have to deal with it for the next 8 years at least. After that, it becomes a bit more modern, but Gothic. Not your average airy Aquarius style. Fashion will become dark, somber and Gothic. I swear. From a lipstick trend, to a serious 'It' hype for Barbie Gothic, as how I call the style. And I think the 'Aquellium.' will continue diffrently, since it's out off the usuall Aquarius style. But as far as I've seen, people who are an Aquarius, can be incredible cranks. Being all negative all the time. So, yes, Barbie Gothic. But it's more rich and decadent. 

I think the internet and people who are into Astrology are supposed to know, since it might make them wonder why Aquarius is so negative these days. It's because it's acting it's opposite. Extreme outcomes are less money, less improvement, war-driven and the crave for the old fashioned when it comes to style and fashion, and no improvement in entertainment and make-up. We will be a generation without true legendairy icons. These 10 years will end with a number one hit we heard time and time again by the Rolling Stones. And it's a bummer for the music industry. Namely 'Angie.'  Which will be 'The' hit for this decade. 

Most sergeants will tell you 'who the hell cares? It's war!' But it has a massive impact on youth, welfare and perceivement off these years. It's the most sober time since WWII, 

A time where we better be glad we can still live. Still eat, still dress, and sunshine on outside benches is free. Despite it will make us such poor idiots without a choice. And it draws us back to a minimum. Though it does to those without a safety net. But honest, Pluto in Aquarius does cause this, but it's an Aqualerium. Not the positive direction from the French Revolution, but more the negative side off it's opposite sides. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 7th off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and bright summer weather. I've read it has been raining in the Sahara desert. And flowers are blooming. Someone should film that. 

*

I would like to share with you again peace will officially be in Ukraine in 2028. And unofficially in 2026, when Russia gets tired off fighting, but won't officially sign peace. It's a long sit, if you have a moment...  And it barely depends on planetairy transits. Just like the economically crisis, I'm sorry for those off you who would like to believe otherwise. Uranus from Taurus to Gemini, Saturn and Neptune from Pisces to Aries, but it doesn't truly depend on that.  

It's stressive, especially for those who suffer from it. If you have strong guts and a big wallet, you can do it. All the others probably have to take and accept a lot. It's what I got 'whispered in.' But I'm not the sanest person out there, it could be wrong. But we'll see after that. It's the same story I hang to the internet for a while. I hope I won't go down in history as a charlatan. But we have to take a lot if it's true. 

And I prepared a cake. The cake box and the eggs where donated by a rich woman who lives nearby, and who does small donations to us sometimes. The eggs are from her own chicken.

It came out nicely, and we have a nice slice off cake on Sunday afternoon with our fresh coffee. They think my cake looks perfect.  

I'm not that fine, it's too humid and dense when it comes to weather, yesterday was for thunderstorms, perfect to clear the air. But it's still nauseas, It's awfull for me. 

I expect the Russia-Ukraine war to be the only war on the European continent for this entire century. It's the only conflict we're going to have. It's the only one for an entire century, but we have to sit it out. I also expect prices to increase. Even more than what they have done. Untill it's a totall off 21% for this entire crisis. I should mind my own business, or go crazy, probably. But maybe I just wish to warn you. Expect a long and expensive sit. Don't think too lightly about it. And use your common sense. And probably no big plans in the short term. It's just too expensive for most. 

My system is full with summer heath. I wish it would cool down sooner. I don't like summer. And everything seems like it's too much to take. It's a bit annoying. Let's end this post here. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good evening at the 3th off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's rainy and fresh outside. It's preferable over summer heath. 

*

Prick service failed this morning, they will come back next week. My vains are pretty deep to prick. I have a very thick skin. Impossible for a basic blood pricker. It's pretty hard, we need those values asap, but it's such dense damp weather, and inside the homes it's like this, I should not over-act on it. Losing my temper means a lot off sweat. Not to my liking. 

I have been vreeting quite a lot lately. Actually, a bit much. But to cook is my hobby, and it's still fun. 'I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.' And I'm storing liquid. Female bodies can store liquid and become heavier when they do so. I'm going to see General Practice over it tomorrow. And my foods are so good these days. I cook healthy, but it's often a lot. And I do little. Not preferable when you fry eggs on carbohydrate meals all the time! (Macaroni and Nasi with the traditionally fried egg on top.) But it's so yummy that way! 

 

My macaroni is pretty good, it's tasty. 

Today was for a meal salad, but I have been snacking on candies and cookies these days, and I had strawberries for dessert. Two off these boxes: 

Two boxes off street fair strawberries, fresh and delicious. Just too perfect to resist. My food is waaay better than de Boed, where they stopped providing us meals each night, but which was far more sober. Maybe it's due to that that I started vreeting all off this. And I'm one off the few lucky people who can cook, and who can afford to cook meals. And the desserts... Vanilla vla and fruit yoghurt taste better when I purchase them myself somehow. At de Boed they became boring. Served here in my own bowls, it's delicious 

(A bowl off fresh strawberry yoghurt.) I'm a gratefull eater to myself. I have a dessert every night. Usually vla or an apple. But I gained 15 kilograms in a month. That's too much. I believe it's food, heath and storing liquid. I feel like a balloon every time I see myself. It's been pretty much. I love to enjoy life with good foods, but it's so incredibly hard when it makes me gain all that weight! It's a bit frightening it's been that much, I believe it's something to see a doctor over. I'm not pregnant, and I haven't changed medication. 

Previous Saturday I had haring, vegetable soup and French bread with cream cheese. 

And a bag off street fair prunes to finish that meal. It's been delicious. Maybe I should do more to loose kilograms. More excercise. But I can't set myself to that. It's not the food, it's pretty healthy foods, but maybe the amount off food I eat. And the lack off excercise. I have no job, and mainly I'm here or drink coffee at de Boed, or cuddle the neighbourhood cat near the koi-carp pond. This week, swimming starts again. It's just doubtfull that truly works to loose a lot off weight soon. So to say, tomorrow is for General Pracrice, and see what can be done about it and to see if there's something wrong. 

My food is great, it's something to share and to be proud off. (That's why I put pictures on here.) It's wholesome and healthy. And tasty. I love food, but I gained so much weight this month. That's a bit off a downer. I'm heavily obese. It's not hard to deal with, but it's uneasy. So let's see what General Practice can mean for me tomorrow. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading!     

Good evening at the 2nd off September, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny, warm, and a bit too hot for my liking. 

*

I'm on a medical cure to assure I'll get on my period. 

I'm cranky and tired, and 'not in for it.' Today. I'm not social, I'm introverted and less talkative. 

I had to look for distraction, so I decided to blog. What to blog about? I blog little these days, this previous year. It's not been much. I just think the internet is the same story over and over again sometimes, which bores at the moment. News websites are a bit cliché lately. As if everything repeats itself somehow. It's not that interesting anymore. 'I'm getting old, I've seen it all...' 

Usually, weblogs are a perfect way to release anger and to let painted nails dry. I'm not angry, and my nails are just clean, clipped and filed. But I'm asked to seek distraction. My mind is overflowing with delusions, and stress. I had some strange nightmares lately. And those historical delusions. I happen to have delusions about the 19th century or the beginning off the 20th century all the time. And they're never historically correct, and the characters have never existed. My mind has had a few recently. Sometimes a few during the same week, and recently, it's been about ancient Germanics. In a hut, all covered in a thick layer off snow. It's been a bit much these days. But nothing terrible happened, it's just that regulair staff has been on summer vacation these weeks. Which works a bit distractive for my mind. 

My head hurts from all that tension. I'm getting a bloodtest so they can see if I'm allright. And my blood values are still correct. I'm supposed to have one yearly. It's not my favourite part off being a psychiatric patient. It's been a bit much. 

I have been stressed over the Ukraine war, and increased prices everywhere, and my concern about poor people. I worry a lot about the poor who struggle to come round, but most people tell 'to think off myself first.' these days. I should not worry about them. I can't change a thing about it, so it's not my concern. Truly, I have to think 'myself first.' at the moment, or I'm losing it. So I decided to let go for the biggest part. I can't help them. 

And to lose my mind over it is a bit much. But it's worrysome. I think I already do. So let's quit that for my mental well-being sake. And I feel I'm a charlatan who can't even realistically foresee the weather. 

At least I'm not broke, financially I'm getting by pretty well. But that's personal and I don't like to talk about it. People might come after me if they knew. It's due to bitter hard saving and well-thought out soberness, I can still cook meals. And do laundry wash with A-brands. For me personally, life goes by. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 28th off August, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is promising to become a hot summer day, with temperatures I find hard to bear. 

*

I prepared for it by 

1. shaving my leggs, and to have let done a pedicure. I have lady-like feet today. Very preferable during summer heat, and it's fresh. 

2. cleaning the toilet, be certain to tame down harches off badteria. 

3. throwing the thrash out, and be certain the kitchen and the floor are clean, which helps in preventing bacteria. 

4. being washed, and be sure I can be washed this evening. To shower and stay fresh is important! 

5. preparing a meal ahead, I don't want to be in the kitchen all day and feeling it because off summer heath.  

6. Opening the windows and the door off this flat wide spread so fresh air can blow through before closing and putting on my van. It's a good idea to air your place  in the morning before summer heath starts. It's cooler in the morning, and the place can chill down a bit before the heath starts. 

7. I put on a summer dress and flipflops. Being someone who was raised near a beach area, I like to wear flipflops in summer. Also when there's no beach near. 

8. I'm sure to have a pitcher off water steady so I can drink all day. Which I do. It's important to drink well all day when it's hot. 

9. Be certain to have something hearty on hand, like a salty snack, when you sweat a lot and you drank water all day, to re-fill your salt level. A cup off vegetable broth can also do the trick. Make sure it's hearthy and salty if you feel faint from heath. 

It's easy, take a mug, put a cube off vegetable broth in, pour over hot water from a water boiler and stir untill the cube is resolved. There you got your magic potion against feeling faint in summer heath!  

10. I prefer to stay inside all day, with my van on and the sunscreen down. No business outside for me on days like this! I can't withstand the temperatures. 

11.  I got zero calorie crystal clear lemon taste in the fridge when I want to drink something else than water. It has no calories, it tastes well and it's sparkly and refreshes. The perfect drink for a hot day! On the other hand, it's good not to get in heavy sodas like coke or orange soda, but zero calorie crystal clear is perfect. 

12. Be sure to have a van on hand. And let it blow and cool the room you spend your day in! Vans and air conditioning are important. 

13. Don't eat heavy stuff, or stuff which can cause infections like suspicious meat. It's best to stay away from that entirely on too hot days. It's best to eat light meals with well-prepared, quality meat. And be carefull with overly sugared drinks. Anything that can cause sickness and vomiting, actually, is a no-go. 

These are my tips to get through summer heath a bit fresh and healthy. Stay fresh and you'll get by well.   

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 26th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was dense and cloudy with sunshine here and there. 

*

Today was for cleaning the toilet, and for taking over coffee service from a sick co-worker. I don't feel so well myself. I was up all night tonight, I could not sleep. I was drowsy all the time during coffee service. But it was fun to do so, and it was good to set my mind off off things. I hope I can sleep tonight. 

The world hasn't exploded, and no nucleair threat has hit the Netherlands so far, still I don't feel in the mood for Christmas. It's late August, but I have seen a spoiler to beauty advent calendars for this year. Something ruined the ambience, I think they can keep their fancy advent calendars this year. Last year I had the Essence one. I think I'll skip this year's one. The world hasn't exploded yet, but I feel like such a Grinch. Not in the mood for Christmas. I'm not bankrupt, but I believe I 'don't feel like it.' for Christmas this year. The over-done luxury, the gold, the glitters- All a bit innapropriate for war-time and crisis in my opinion. Really, something has to happen before I feel they 'can keep their Christmas make-up.' Since I like to spoil myself with it by the end off the year. I like to be the Christmas Diva by the end off the year. I even duped the Dior dark lip with golden sparkles last year with what I had. It's just that this year I feel like putting on red lipstick I already own, and stick by it. Since the basic look with the dark brown eyeshadow and the red lip always seems to be the main thing everywhere. Adjusted a few silver glitters on top, but there you got your modern '20's Christmas. 

I'm not an IT-girl or a celebrity, I think I don't have to prove anything to anyone this year. Just nice red lipstick and a basic brown eye look with silver glitters. That's what I think for now. All we need is each other and some retro Christmas hits to pass it by this year. The rest off it doesn't truly matter to me for now. 

Christmas is probably already written in the stars this year, but beforehand, it's going to be hot this week. Sweaty summer weather, which requires being clean and hygienic. That's step one. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 25th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy, warm and dense in the Netherlands. 

*

I feel kinda bad. The historical delusions are getting worse, just like talking to myself and the lack to adapt to others. Usually I can conceal my short temper and be polite, but I feel my shell is thin and it's out more than usuall, also to stupid care takers. (Some work on my nerves. I can't seem to keep my calmth with them anymore.) So, little tolerance from me for people. I hope they can take it. 

Today, all the usefull I have done was to vacuum and mop my appartment floor. And prepare dinner. I'm not really sober when writing you this. I have been creative with yellow zuchinni soup this weekend, however. That's been dinner for Friday and Saturday. It was pretty good. Just like my sweet bell pepper soup some time ago. Strange how this crisis makes me creative with puree soups. If I invent a third one, I'm about to share the receipes. 

Yellow zuchinnis are kinda cool. It's something completely diffrent from the usuall green one. I eat zuchinni soup with French bread during weekends when I'm low on money, since zuchinnis are kinda cheap and the soup is tasty. But it's usually the ordinairy green ones. Some times combined with broccoli. To vary with it, is kinda cool in my mind. Next time I might try a basic receipe for carrot soup, and see if it let itself vary with either. My soups are not vegan, or vegetarian even, since they require beef broth from cubes. So it's not vegan-friendly. But I find beef broth the most tasty one. 

I also invented a more home style receipe for classic Dutch vegetable soup, with nutmeg soup balls. I think it's pretty good. My Boed version was too expensive with all those herbs and the alphabet vermicelli. 

    (A bowl off home style vegetable soup. The beef broth is kinda dark in my version.) 

What's a woman to do during stressfull times than to perfection her soup receipes, and try to keep the home clean? 😉 We're ahead off hot temperatures this week, so I have to clean the toilet ahead to fight becteria. And care staff can help me clean the kitchen since I can't manage that myself this week due to delusions. I hope I can clean that stupid toilet anyway despite delusions and feeling so incredibly bad. 

I think the Russians think I'm a laugh, and my former friends don't care about me being a good home maker trying to keep the home clean, and myself, and making something out off it. I also do it to feel better than former friends who are kinda filthy when it comes to hygiene. It makes me feel somewhat better than them. I don't have much ahead to them, but home cleaning and cooking skills! 

And honest, a lot off planets in Earth signs require home work to move forward. Home work, cooking, traditional lady-like stuff. Usually most other things are doomed to fail when Jupiter hits Taurus for example, and the economy doesn't work with. I have Jupiter in an Earth sign on my birth chart. I think to do home work is the best method to move forward and make all that Earth on mine work for me. Uranus in Taurus and Pluto in Capricorn kinda asked for it either. If you wish to make something out off it, be a well-organized lady! Most other things seem to fail. These days, when everything seems to go wrong, I get a lot off balance from good home work. I'm still a slunge, and I need to ask health care all the time to help me, but a peacefull home is sooooo important! Especially these days. I'm not all steady at it, especially when being delusional. But when it's done, I feel soooo much better, in my small spot on planet Earth, where I managed to make a small home work for myself. And that's more progress than the economy most off these times. 

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to that. Most people my age and younger don't seem to adapt to the idea. They don't feel the sastisfaction off a clean floor, nice furniture or a pot off fresh Zuchinni soup on Friday. But mind them, given the current economy and the home market, I doubt they ever will. Still, I hope they will become like that and get it one day. Again, what's a woman to do but to perfection her home skills during war-time? 😉 Maybe I'm too wee, or too naive, or too conservative- all off those things I don't want to be. But I don't have a job, and I have time on my hands. And it feels better to do this, than to do nothing at all these days. Though I'm not steady in it, and I need help all the time. 

Home work- a well-kept women's war secret. For rough times, and it works. Especially for poor, country sided women like me. If it works, it works. I hope they don't have to dust this off off the shelves for a long time after this. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

Good morning at the 16th off August, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's raining cats and dogs outside in the Netherlands. 

*

In Dutch: 

Een paar jaar geleden is de overheid gestart met het uitdelen van maaltijden op basisscholen, omdat veel ouders hun kinderen geen ontbijt en lunch meer konden geven vanwege de crisis. 

Ik vind dat middelbare scholen en voortgezet onderwijs dit ook zouden moeten doen. Voor middelbare schoolkinderen zou er ook ontbijt en lunch moeten zijn op scholen, omdat een middelbare school kind hartstikke duur is tijdens de crisis. Het kan ouders ontzettend veel lucht geven als hun middelbare school kind kan eten op school. School lunches met af en toe een broodje gezond, gewoon brood en goedkope hotdogs- en bouwstenen voor de rest van de dag, zoals melk, karnemelk en fruit. Ik vind dat kinderen dat moeten hebben als pappa en mamma het niet meer kunnen betalen. En dat de overheid dat zou mogen regelen. Middelbare school kinderen zijn al duur genoeg. En ik vind het zo zielig als ze honger moeten lijden op school, en zich niet kunnen concentreren en mee kunnen komen tijdens de lessen vanwege gebrek aan ontbijt of lunch. 

We leven in een dure tijd, en de overheid zou dit moeten doen. En misschien moeten ze dit ook op MBO scholen gaan doen. Eigenlijk overal waar arme jongeren naar school moeten. We ontkomen er niet aan, we leven in een crisis. 

En met mij gaat het eigenlijk best goed. Ik moet vanmiddag een inval- koffiedienst draaien op Wijksteunpunt de Boed in Zaandijk, omdat iemand haar pols gebroken heeft. Ik sta ingeroosterd tot ze weer terug is. Ik voel me niet slecht, alleen een beetje gaargekookt en verwassen van de hitte van de afgelopen tijd. Ik ben blij dat het nu regent, en ik even op adem kan komen van de hitte. (Ik hou niet van hitte.) 

Ik denk dat we een hele arme kerst periode tegemoet gaan. Zoals de ouwe wijven hier zeggen: 'Zo droog als Sinterklaas zijn kont.' En dat vind ik heel erg zielig. Voor kinderen, voor arme mensen in het algemeen, voor iedereen. Ik denk dat bijna niemand in deze wijk echt geld heeft voor de feestdagen. Net als het gros van Zaanstad. Misschien is het ook wel gepaster om er weinig aan te doen. Feestdagen vinden de meesten hier nooit echt prettig. De meesten zijn alleenstaanden zonder familie. Maar het zal wel nóg schandaliger, nóg duurder worden, dus is het niet iets om naar uit te zien dit jaar. 

Ik ga altijd naar mijn familie met de feestdagen, maar de meesten hier op het Gortershof kunnen dat niet en hebben er een hekel aan.  

Ik denk dat ik er gepaster aan zou doen om ingetogen te zijn deze feestdagen, maar ik ben toch al nooit overdreven uitbundig met kerstversiering. 

Ik begin mijn eigen blog een beetje slaapverwekkend te vinden, dus ik eindig deze post hier. 

Oké, dat was het voor nu- 

Dank jullie voor het lezen! 

    

Good evening at the 9th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy and acceptable when it comes to temperature. 

*

I came to the conclusion that my favourite by Elvis Presley is 'Burning love.' I love the intensity off that song. 

I'm kinda tired and somewhat inspirationless. Coffee serving goes well, I'm doing somewhat well, Mercury is retrogtade, - It's probably that with this weblog today. Mercury, planet off comunication, is retrograde this month, and we all suffer from that, if we're not carefull. But I haven't been blogging much in a while. 

I can't think off much off a subject, except for feeling proud I'm still washed and clean during a crisis, and the feeling off being physically clean is sooo good. I might not look attractive, but I feel I can reject men for not being washed or as clean as me. This  crisis makes it hard for them to stay hygienic, but I don't do hard with it, due to my storage room, so I feel I can set that standard. Sweaty, bad-breathed dirtbags are not for me, no matter how hot they are. 

Today was for coffeeing at de Boed with fellow clients, I feel they do worse than usuall. But I'm not allowed to talk about their issues. Still, somehow they come off as heavy cases these days. Aside to neighbours becoming truly old and issued. 

Really, when I feel I want to mirror myself to 'common women.' I look at care takers my age. What they look like, what's common for young women around their 30's. Fellow inhabitants off this place are too old or too sick. But actually I mirror to older women. Around their 50's or 60's, since I think they dress more colourfull and more happy. I wear more bold colours than my generation. And more their every day style. I look kinda old, but I feel better when I look a little more irreligiously cheerfull. For a millenial, it's almost irreligious to wear bold colours in a happy style. But I never felt like my generation. I barely fit in with them. But it's not the blacks, it's the colours I prefer. 

It's going to be a hot weekend, and a tropical Monday. I called off all my appointments, and decided to stay in that day. I can't stand heath. And really, I already decided my next birthday cake will be a home made syrup waffle cheesecake, with caramel sauce. It's litterally almost a year away, as if you decide 4 days after Christmas what to prepare next Christmas for dinner. But it's something diffrent than my MonChou cake.  

Big challenge this weekend: To stay alive, and to stay fresh. Nothing is as hard as a tropical day for me. I hope Elvis is going to save the day that day. 

Allright, that's about it for now, 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 7th off August, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today has been too bright, and too sunny for my liking. 

*

The situation in the world makes cranky. I don't seem to be capable to withstand, but it's not only the world that drives me mad. 

I'm a bit out off my mind. And I have the idea, people might think predicting the war's end is a little distastefull later on. As if we can't look worse later on. Tasteless, and vulgair, and everything I shouldn't do. Except if I was crystal clear certain. So I quit predicting the future in public. 

That's how I feel these days: Fed up, from summer heath. The situation in the world, and so on. I'm not really realistic, I also got voices and delusions out off fear. I wish there was a remedy to keep my dignity and my calmth. It can be over soon, it can take a while. I felt up to the ceiling from anger before. I have no clue how I got rid off it back then. It was after a heartbreak. I had to sit on my hands not to act out off anger. 

But here we are, nobody got killed. Maybe I feel better when Summer's done, and temperatures are back to normal. I don't do well in summer heath. Life could be harder, life could be easier. Next week, it's leaping up to 31 degrees celsius in this place. I don't like. 

A positive point about this day, was my youngest brother coming to visit for my birthday, because he had to work this weekend. So I could display my dishware again on an ordinairy Wednesday, and share a pastry on a weekday. 

I love it to feel fancy with these, and do coffee or tea with people. My youngest brother is a straight, geeky  man, he couldn't feel less at ease with it than he did, but I love it. He loved the pastry, though. 

I don't have the occasion often to have people over for coffee and a pastry on my nice dishware. Birthdays really are one off the rare times I got it. 

I'm playing Elvis Presley at the moment. It's the best music for hot days in my opinion somehow, and I can't explain to you why I think so. Elvis hits the nail during hot summer days for me. It's not a hit, he's not in the news, he's just one off the best during summer. And it cheers me up. I feel a little less somber and fed up when playing Elvis. Maybe Elvis understands my loneliness. I don't know. It's just very good. 

It helps me to withstand summer heath. So, Elvis and having coffee with my brother today. 

I don't have much to say about Mark's canary for this year. The 2024 wickerbeast was just a powerfull one, and I hope they know what they're doing. It's not to play with. It's actually a 'death corvus!!!!' 'Don't you mess with it!!!' But I keep on pointing at it as 'Mark's canary.' I don't know if I can survive their disaproval off my degradating, but it's uncle Mark's canary. ('Mark z'n kanarie') There's nothing dangerous about that thing. I have no points against it. 

And it helps me to laugh to relativate the Castlefest 2024 canary. 

I would like to end this weblog with the modern classic 'A little less conversation.' Elvis remix by Junkie XL, a 2002 hit. And still a cool one. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 6th off August, 2024.

 Good morning, everyone, 

Tomorrow is promising to become a nasty hot day for me. I don't like summer heath. 

*

Yesterday was my birthday. I have been preparing birthday treats for de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. And people loved it with their coffee. 

Duo quark-tarts with birthday sprinkles. Inside it's two flavours, a layer strawberry and a layer mango, with chunks off pineapple on the bottom. It was a perfect taste for them. 

For my birthday celebration on Saturday, I prepared Monchou cake. With cherries from can and tiny white chocolate hearts on top. 

It's been yummy and well-received by my family and people who had a slice off it.  My birthday table looked like this: 

Very romantic, very elegant for an afternoon coffee with family and friends for a 32th birthday celebration. I turned 32 yesterday. 

It's been energy consuming. Some people do this in one day, but I took my time to prepare, make, have it, and then clean the mess the day after. It's not possible for me, energy-wise, to do this at once. It may seem lousy, but medication and energy keep me from preparing birthdays last-minute and cleaning the very same day. Just too hard. 

Sometimes I dream off a whole Christmas celebration at my home, all luxurious, well-prepared and decorated with fancy Christmas kitchen ware and such. Dinner from an icon like Nigella Lawson or Donna Hay. But that's probably a bit too much. Given how much this small celabration took me. I think I'd rather stay gourmetting at mom's. But as far as this went- lovely.  

There are also people who do this every sunday with a much larger group off relatives, but I think I would not be capable to do that either. Just too much energy, too over-prickling. Every often is a much better idea for someone as low in their energy as me. Man, I can't even watch TV or cook like an ordinairy person. That's the good thing off protected living: Being annoying with your disease as much as needed, without being in the way off someone. But a small birthday celebration my style was possible. I kinda liked how it went. Without too much trouble. I really have to re-gain energy from it, but that's how lame and low my energy level is at the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good evening at the 29tth off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is dry, hot and annoyingly warm for a pale skinned person like me. 

*

Saturday I prepared a syrup waffle cake from a cake mix from a bottle. They sell these for Holland tack at Xenos. It was good and my fellow clients loved it. I served it on Sunday. 

The serving tray got from Zaanse Schans. It's been pricey, and the theme was 'Classic Dutch.' for this idea. 

To bake from scratch is too expensive. Baking packages are still more doable. The serving tray, however, was very pricey. 

I got issuesd with the heath. And my head hurts in the evening. Today was for grocery shopping, and I did so with a lip oil. Instead off the usuall lipstick. Warm weather requires lipgloss or lip oil to the supermarket in my idea. Lip oil is the 'IT'- lipproduct off these years. Mine was an Essence one, though. It's bluntly hot, my head hurts and it's sweaty. It's time to shower and then eat my salad. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 29th off July, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's way too sunny and hot outside for my liking. It's not my type off weather today. 

*

Honest, I think it's not even visions, but something on my mind told me it's NOT going to be peace by the end off 2024, and it's going to be a damn dry Christmas for most. 'Zo droog als Sinterklaas zijn kont.' Like vulgair old ladies at Gortershof say. I think I don't like the idea off predicting peace wrong, so, I quit predicting peace on this weblog. Hell and heaven know if it's 2025, 2026 or 2028, for godsake. I'm fed up with it. I just know there should be peace concerts worldwide after peace came true. A real, big peace celebration. But is that going to happen? Usually I see too positive scenario's when I'm fed up with something. Then it's not clear enough anymore. 

But so far, Christmas is not going to 'feel like it.' This year, even worse than previous year, or during Corona, where everyone already seemed unpleasant to be around and cranky. With sky high prices and bills. But I think it's rather common sense that whispers me that in. If it continues like this. I hope my predictions for the short term will come true, and this whole situation won't last and last. 

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be awfull. Who am I with these kind off prognosis? Who wants to hear them from me? I could be an economic or a politician without the slightest idea off a spiritual gift if I start to talk like this. Or even a lobbyist for war economics, (since they seem to be in charge off everything)- but not a true future predictress.  

In that same category falls the idea economic quarter marks show a shrunk economy for the last quarter off a year. It's not predicting, just a feeling. I learned not to be positive about these years. And people start to think off me as a trouble maker if I point things out too loud these days which don't come true. I haven't happened to have done so in real life, people don't have the faintest idea I have done a prediction and try to point out actuall peace. But it's un-doable. But somehow I have the idea it will be a dry Christmas out off poverty for most this year. ('Gortdroge kerst.' Like how it's said here.) 

I should stop it at that for this weblog. People are un-doable annoying when I predict it wrong. I don't like to end up in fights, cold behaviour and discussion, and most off all: It's stressive. So I quit predicting on this weblog. The future at this point simply could not be more vague. 

Allright, that's about it for now-

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 28th off July, 2024, 2.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and bright outside. 

*

Somehow, if you wish to mentally wage a war, you have to flaunt and look gorgeous. Outshine the enemy. I think Putin laughs about our modern day beauty standard, rooted in the 1930's, so it seems. And the west to become more and more poor, and the trends and the technology to become more and more outdated. 

We can live without, I'm not the first to jump into that hole and purchase new, but I think Putin laughs his ass off when it comes to the West to become more ratchet by the minute. And people not looking their best, and circumstances not being optimal to win a war. It's shamefull. 

Not only Putin, The Middle East and China probably laugh with. The brilliant sparkle off the west is sincerely off these days. That's no way to mentally wage a war. We don't look our best, we feel broke, we have to wage war. We're at survival mode for most. And it's stressfull. I believe our enemies laugh at us at the moment. I believe to consume less is good for the environment, but for us personally, and our mindset? It could be better. We could develop a more sharp mindset if it would have been diffrent. But maybe that's not the way, and survival mode helps us to keep peace. But Putin laughs about us. Thinking it's a shame for women here to look less pretty than before. It's a feeling I have. 

We simply don't have money to do so. To set up a big war is too much for us, so it seems. Maybe that's for the best. Now at least we don't have to truly fight. It's not preferable. But the looks off vintage times because we 'don't have better.' Is a laugh. 

I'm typing you this in a plain white shirt and an old Christmas pyjama pants I wear over and over again. (Green with gold and black tartan. I change it with  red one, and in winter these are with green and red longsleeves.) It's a bit cheap. I wear my PJ's a lot inside the home, but I don't feel like a queen with them these times. I simply don't purchase new ones all the time. I got the feeling these times will turn in a new Middle ages for the West if we don't stop it. Medieval, since it's a turn back in progress and wealth. But honest, can we take it? I think another five years off crisis would be utmost bad. Society would be devastated by it. I have felt or foreseen a situation with another five years off crisis, and it's awfull for this country. And honest, if this country can't take it, then how about the rest off the world? The Netherlands has a high standard off being. Or at least it had so. It's not preferable for the world to continue like this, for no one. Food prices and bills have to decrease first. People can barely live like this, and there should be homes in the Netherlands for those futureless children. I wish politics would truly solve it. Instead off playing nasty games with us. 

My head hurts from over-thinking, I'm not that well. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 28th off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was sunny and bright. For me this type off weather is not preferable. 

*

I think I can't make a bet for, say, a cow to it, but I think 2025 the Russia-Ukraine war will end. It's a thought. I think I can't bet for a cow, like how the old farmers would say. 'Je kunt er een koe om verwedden.' But I doubt, but maybe it's true. It's a preferable foresight, and the crisis to end at 2026. It's THE most preferable situation, and concerts and big parties at Maddison square gardens in New York, and all over the world, and not a nucleair threat in sight. That would be the best ending possible. Best situation, best circumstances, and there won't be babies born as poor as the streetbricks anymore if they would do that. It's an amazing end. But it's if world leaders would come to agreement. I should sigh in relief, but I foresaw a death bad ending untill 2032 for the crisis, and the world being devastated. Really, down to it's flat ass. Maybe there is time to end the war before that happens. Otherwise Western society is somewhat doomed. Not to speak off Ukraine if they would really use Cetan to it. If it could be beforehand, that would be much, MUCH better. It's a positive scenario, with a very positive outcome. So, 2025 is the most positive for now. But then it has to happen. It simply has to happen. Later than that would be criminal. 

The world could use it to sigh in relief. It's a whole lot off stress off off our shoulders. Maybe I have been over-acting on the point 'war with Russia.' if that happens. Peace should happen. 

Allright, that;s about it for now- Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 22th off July, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's changing clouds with sunshine. I find warm temperatures doable this way. 

*

The news stated Zelensky wanted to discuss peace with Putin, but somehow I came to think it won't end soon. The Russia-Ukraine war won't be over that soon. That's what I think about it. Don't get too cheerfull too early, and don't start to hate me over a wrong prediction, don't get too harsh on me, it makes you dumb.   

To be honest, I don't think it will be over before 2026. And all attemps to peace will end up in vain somehow. Don't cheer too early, and don't get naive with life untill it's truly over. It's best to use your common sense a few months longer than to stop it before the war and the crisis end. If you use survival methods- don't quit them by now. I honestly think we are up to two to four years longer with the war in Ukraine. Maybe I should not step off off that point. But I can't guarantee it's true. 

And Biden is out off the race for American president, it was in the newspaper this morning. It's an even bigger point where I personally think Trump will win these elections. And some things are ment to be. But visions are a bit vague at the moment. But to be honest, I think Trump will win the American elections, and the war will continue. It's the worst case scenario I trusted to become true all the time. It's nothing to become cheerfull about for now. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.    

Good evening at the 21st off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was damp and warm, but not overly hot anymore. It even had rainshowers. 

*

I heard on the radio Zelensky wanted to discuss peace, on behave off giving up land to the Russians. It could be peace will be here much sooner if they all will agree. And Russia agrees with it's suggestions for peace, it could be here within 6 to 7 months, and the crisis can be over next year. But that'd be all theoretically. I have no vision about it, 

But the crisis could be very well over next year if they all would agree upon it. Including the Ukraine war, but to our very loss. I should beware with it, since this is all rumor and positive prognosis, despite The West will lose a war. Something we can't win from Russia, Russia wins all it's wars. So far, Russia has never lost a war. But would that not be great if it would all end before this Christmas? On cost off our loss. 

I feel like a charlatan worse than a tabloid, since it's speculation and I got it from the news. It's better than being a charlatan in a tabloid, but now I got it stated on the internet: I suck at forced future predicting. And I can't say it's real. Even I could not see this happening. But with a little luck, it will happen, and we can afford again. Offcourse prices will be lower if peace comes more early. And grain is affordable again. But victory for the Russians in that case. So little to celebrate for the west. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 20th off July, 2024.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is a warm day in the Netherlands, it's not much to my liking, I'm not good at standing heath. 

*

I'm not doing bad, I can cope with my crush on mister Ed, the pagan hunk. I can withstand it and mentally I don't flip over it anymore. It's so hard to withstand crushes and lust when you're mental. To the point where mental health comes first and you have to let them go if you're sane enough to understand that. But I can handle it. Though it was hard. 

I popped the laundry in the machine, and now it's in the dryer. I had coffee this morning, and I polished my nails fuchsia. It's a hot, lazy Saturday morning. I'm taking it easy, I should drink more water. It's recommended to drink plenty off water when it's this hot. I'm typing this while my nails dry. I mentioned nailpolish dries easy when I type weblogs, and I got 'something on hand.' when it's drying. I haven't typed in ages, so it feels. But maybe there was little to write about. Just life, plain and easy every day life. 

I cope with the crisis a bit easier since my caretaker said: 'We're in it for some time now, people learn to deal with it. It's not so hard.' It took tension off my shoulder. It's a sane thing to say. She said people are used to it, and have learned to cope. Learned to deal with this economic crisis, instead off being in missery. It does good to my tensions about it. I felt such pity with them. It's good for my stress to realise people 'can do it.' So to say. 

It's what I mention, people can deal with it. And it doesn't seem too hard for them. But maybe that's me and this surrounding. This place is as poor as the streetbricks, but when they say they can cope, it's not too bad for now. Still I hope we will get out off it soon. And people aren't too troubled by it. Still, but really- it's stressive. Especially for a sensitive soul like me. 

Personally, I think to eat fresh vegetables and to be clean with A-brands counts as my personal biggest luxury off these days. Fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, good home-cooked foods, and for today- clean laundry. And fresh A-brand coffee in the morning. I think I should be gratefull for these. And offcourse, Thursday swimming each week. It's on summer retraite, but the first week off September, it starts again. I love to swim. And I love vergetables. I eat plenty off them. 

Maybe all my generation peers from this place can brag about is too have eaten fresh vegetables in their youth, during the crisis. Being 'such snobs.' Because the cucumber, the paprika and the carrots where perfectly fresh. But that's all we can do. All the other luxury simply wasn't there, or for us. Poor as the streetbricks as most off us are. We can't even go on summer vacation. And we usually wear too little make-up and expensive clothes to be snobs about it. 'But the vegetables? Perfect!' But then you're a real poor Zaanstad snob. And no, they don't come from the market anymore, but the supermarket in my case. Fresh fruits and vegetables and perfect home cooking with them is my pride. It's 'important.' for someone with my poor social status. As far as I have one. I think it's as low as the streetbricks, but to cook propper meals with fresh supermarket vegetables is our pride. 

Today is for trying to get in enough water, and keeping calm during this heath. My nailpolish has dried, and it's almost luxury I used top coat on top off it. Essence, but what else? Fuchsia pink statement nails! But I'm not certain if fuchsia was just a trend, or an actuall statement colour. But I think it works for summer, or for a very feminin Christmas look, somewhere in a luxurious time. But let's not start about Christmas yet! We're dealing with summer! Still, fuchsia pink, and it's almost joyous. Almost scandalous if I wasn't to think it's 'statement.' for these times. 

I would like to see perfect research on these times when it's all done. in as much fields as possible. We lack so much information, we're almost blind during crisis and war-time. It's pretty dangerous and lame. But maybe it can only be answered afterwards. Still, I got questions I want them to answer. Research on marks and poverty causes by the crisis, what people suffered on, I want them to do those researches, and causes to the crisis I want them to research. I want this to become more open and clear. It should be done over and over again, maybe in times with a brighter look on these times. What where they up to? I wish for it to become clear. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

    

Good afternoon at the 12th off July, 2024, 2.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

The weather is still bad and dreary, it's raining all day. 

*

Daily life is like a Hayao Miyazaki at the moment, in antique, old fashioned Dutch Zaandijk. Not because off the Japanese demons, or the magic that happens, but because off Miyazaki's simpleness he puts in the daily life off the characters in his movies. Kiki's delivery service and Howl's moving castle are perfect examples off it. It's Western European simpleness at it's finest. As if the characters couldn't have a more simplified yet elegant life. It's old fashioned and plain yet elegant if you watch well, and that's due to the old fashioned surrounding to the characters. And Miyazaki's women are often a bit simple in style. It's how Zaandijk let itself being described. If I wasn't so fat with thick glasses, I would currently fit the description. And the women in my surrounding would look perfect as Miyazaki characters. Except that most are psychiatric patients. 

Kiki's delivery service plays in a fictional 1950's-1960's place which would fit for old Zaandijk. It's as if time stood still and people haven't developed with ever since. It's mainly the older generation from around my mom's age (Around their 60's, with their youth in the 80's) you find there. But it's how they like it. Stale and pettite minded as it is. The Miyazaki feeling fits. Also the simple yet content reaction from people to the most simple things you could present them for nowadays. Like in Ponyo and the deep Sea. It's such gratefull work to bake for them. And they don't spit on simple meals and old fashioned plain coffee. Honestly, but it's a bit negative. Miyazaki's characters are more cheerfull. These people swear by negativism and crank when they talk. And offcourse, the cars are not oldtimers but more modern. (Not the most brand new under the sun, it's poor common people, but it does for slightly modern cars.) 

And offcourse the plants, the gardens, the hortenses, the roses, the pond with the koi-carps, the old fashioned green houses, the touristic Zaanse Schans, and de Zaan river. But these are not stale elements for Miyazaki's work. Still, the romantic old fashioned is present. 

The surrounding is death old fashioned. And the only thing missing is something flying. Miyazaki swears by a flying element in his works. As the main character. Sometimes there's a trauma or police helicopter above in the sky, but there's no magic involved. I wish there was, something flying and magic to solve the Ukraine war during these days. And then, plot twist, it turned out to have been something simple to solve the matter. But offcourse this is not a kid's tale. 

Honest, I did not like it at first, but it grew on me and now I love it. It's pretty romantic, isn't it? Such a surrounding during a crisis and war-time. The people and the food being simple, and the circumstances being troublesome. But later on, you would not dare to brag about it to someone rich (Or moderate, but we see all off that as rich since we're mostly poor.) sane and normal, but for now- it looks like 'something.' fascinating and thrilling as it is. 

I'm not fit for the main character, with me, you would not win the academy award in this surrounding. But it's as if it's perfect for a Hayao Miyazaki film nowadays. Except maybe that it rains a lot with grey skies. In Miyazaki's works, the sky is often blue with clouds. My place seems more haunted than a Miyazaki due to the weather. But on a nice day, it could pass. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.                     

Good afternoon at the 12th off July, 2024.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's raining cats and dogs outside, it's nasty weather, but at least it's not too hot. 

*

What if I happen to have been wrong with the peace prediction all the time? And peace in Ukraine will be upon us sooner than 2028? It's a bit doubtfull. You can say I'm a charlatan if I don't got that right. I think this war won't last forever. I think it might be sooner peace than main 'common' prognosis. though. So that makes me a bit off an optimist. I can't help it, we might be at peace again next year. But count me an idiot if that's not the case. It's a bit doubtfull. It's such a cheerfull foresight, I almost don't dare to believe it. But who am I to be trusted with it? I'm not a renowed paragnost. I just learned to trust the 'worst case.' scenario's. But 2025 is a 'perfect case scenario.'

I got visions for a time after the war in the short term. So this won't last forever, still I don't know when it's about to happen. I'm too vague to pinpoint on. So don't trust me. 😩 

Still, the issues this country has to face if the war ends in the short term... it's not mild. I think the year to the ending off the war is the only vision I will make public, and after this it's done with public shared visions. It's not good for me. All the doubt and uncertainty, since mainly it doesn't let itself being pinpoint to a date, or a year. I heard that's with most others who have this. But it stresses me out to come off unreliable with it. Just like the trouble I got with 'the other world.' If I dare to do so again, but to predict the war on the (removed) Vana Events forum,  was a bad idea. It's best to keep things for myself. It's too big for me to get involved in public predicting, I feel it's too stressfull. So, no to public predicting after this anymore. I don't take it well. 😩 

Allright, that's about it for now - 

Thank you for reading. 

    

Good evening at the 11th off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today the weather was pretty good. Moderate warm but not too hot. And sunny but not scorching. Like how weather should be.  

*

Today I took an escape to mom's. This morning was for swimming a few lapses at the local pool. I still swim every week. It's just that there happened to have been waaay too much children at the recreation section today. A school's game or so. It's very much to my relief a child is not off my own concern. 

I'm so concerned about the world all the time. I wish we could all afford everything again, and people would not have to suffer so much from the crisis. I overpainted bladdered off statement pink nails, so the colour is on again. It's bright fuchsia pink. 

I took an escape to mom's. de Boed is not very positive these days. People are negative and cranky. I don't know if bold, fuchsia pink is actually 'statement pink.' Just like the buzzing bright green. Maybe I'm just following a fashion trend and declaring it 'statement.' Just like my shoulder length, dirty blonde hair and my bright red lipstick. People are not complaining I'm disruptive or annoying with these. So I guess I'm not doing harm to anyone. Maybe I'm just annoyingly following stupid fashion. 

Maybe I'm even the only one trying to make these statements with fashion. I barely see anyone out on the streets or in the shops with it. I do see bright pinks and greens being worn, though. I'm not harmfull with it, maybe they'll just see me as someone wearing what's in fashion. And the fuchsia and the bright green where just a temporarily but expensive trend, though I did not pay much for having both on my nails. (In my opinion, it wasn't much.) Maybe it wasn't too bad off me doing so. I didn't pay the head price for it. 

Trends are following each other like crazy these days. I think that's Pluto in Aquarius. It's not so steady to tell what's on trend, or truly in fashion. Let's not be too bothered with it, unless I really like something. I decided on trying to keep pretty hands this weekend, though. I'm glad I put the nailpolish in my purse, so I can over-paint, and maybe it's not fashion (anymore) but fuchsia pink nails are really lady-like for a change. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

Good evening at the 8th off July, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was changing and somewhat warm. 

*

Dear ungroomed women with your hair untidy long and undyed- 

I feel with all off you. The crisis has robbed you off your precious hairstyle, I can't help but to feel with you. I don't know if you want to hear that from someone like me, but I see you more and more often, men and women with ungroomed hair. It's a downfall off society, it's a crime! Simply not to be capable to look your best due to money. I feel sorry for you. 

I hope times will change soon, and we all can look and feel our best again.  

Yours sincerely- 

Me. 

Today, I spotted a lot off women with their hair untidy, uncut and undyed. I can't help but to feel with them. 

I wondered if the Pinterest images off girls and women with undyed, messy hair where accurate for society. Most off the time I don't mention, or I think it simply isn't. but the ordinairy grocery shopping and daily life women looked like that. More and more women start to look like that. Like I said, it's a downfall off society. Everything being so expensive, they can't look their best anymore. I feel with it. 

Hair is a woman's treasure. Her not being capable to make it look pretty anymore is a crime. I think they will look at it back in shame. I can't do anything but to feel with it. And maybe it's even painfull to mention to them. But I just wanted to share something to show I care and feel with them. 

My own hair is cut by the Leviaan hairdresser for very, very cheap. And I can dye it a dirty blonde, according to fashion standards here. But I'm granted to live due to my disease. Eye off the needle. 

I did some grocery shopping today, had coffee at Leviaan de Boed twice, and prepared dinner. I'm on my couch with a pot off green tea. Overthinking things, feeling pity with the world again, tomorrow I'm told I shouldn't and mind my own life a little more. I can already tell. I don't know how people are going to perceive this later. But it's not off nowadays concern. But I can't help. Care staff says it's not my problem. And psychiatric aid is telling me either. And offcourse I don't actually help someone with those issues. But maybe this world is too conditioned to only think off ourselves and feel with no one anymore but our own. But hence, sharing that might get me into trouble. Though a hand full might agree. But I know too well what poverty and being left out can contain. A miracle saved my life. And I'm here, still living it well somehow. Minding my first world problems. 

I think fuchsia pink and dark green 90's checkers don't go well togheter, It's not accurate togheter. But I got fuchsia pink polished nails and a dark green 90's vest. It looks good, I have to say, but it's a bit off tune, very rich and low profile togheter. though tomorrow isn't for warm vests, but it's going to be bluntly hot. Not to my liking. But it's fuchsia pink on my hand and foot nails, and it will do tomorrow. The nailpolish was not too expensive. Tomorrow I can survive indoors with fuchsia pink on my nails. 90's checkers in a warm vest are for later concern. (It looks nice togheter, though.) 

First world problems, like how health care wants to see it.  Not making myself crazy with concerns. I'm not good at it. My heart is in the way sometimes. I have to sit out the summer heath tomorrow. Cooling the home, and drinking enough water. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

   

Good evening at the 30th off June, 2024.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been your typicall sweaty swamp weather. Moderately warm after hot days, it's been brotheling. 

*

Something in me fears romance is death. This world could use more real time romance, but people are usually NOT romantic in the sweet, classically way. So baking something romantic and presenting it romantic it is. And they talk about it weeks after, since they enjoyed it. 

But usally, it's as dry as the streetbricks in old Zaandijk, though the surrounding is very romantic. Maybe we're not the right people for actuall cute romance. Fairytale miracles in our lives. We're not that it when it comes to looks. Old, ugly and saggy as we are. It's not preferable for romance. 

'Romance?' *Points at chocolate banana cake.* 'There you got your romance.' And I'm probably right. More romantic than that it won't get around here. 

When a hot mature wizard drives by, he's just on his way for work. 'Out off his way, Bitch!' But don't expect something better than that to happen here. The streets look very romantic, but most people could do better. Maybe I got it a bit in my head. Something in me longs for 'romantic.' at this moment. Something nice, cute and spontaneous. But more than coffee I can't expect. And coffee here got served at steady times. It's not spontaneous. Longing for romance is a death end, probably. 

Maybe the reason why sensitive youth longs for manga and anime all the time. The rest off life is so incredibly dry. As shallow as a dry fart. 

I'm not talking about sex. I think that's not the point. I'm talking about sweet old romance. I think the commercial off a fantasy event is also beyond the point off 'spontaneous romantic.' And the people there are not romantic. I rather find them a bit dry outside the events. As shallow as a dry fart? Most off them. Is it preferable? Does it dress up real life? Does your heart sing in real life? If the answer is no, then I'd suggest you to put some romance in real life. Not on an alcohol or drug base, but on a fun base. Maybe you could play a song and dance with your beloved to it in the living room. To dance togheter in the living room is a nice idea. Or if you don't have a beloved: Play the music anyway, and fantasize. But what do I know? I don't have a beloved. 

I better opt for my lust & romance on toast in the morning. That's how it always goes. It's the after shock to that crush that makes me long for the romantic. But I'm mad in my head if it gets too strong. I better don't listen to that. Life lacks real romance. 

Allright, that's about it for now, 

Thank you for reading.