Things go down, that´s just the way it goes.

It´s always like that. Things build up, florish and then break down into nothingness.

It´s something you have to get used to if you aren´t. It´s the best not to loose our mind over it, though I have several times. I´m a bit more resistant to losses than I have been in my youth. But it´s not something to go too light on too early, as that can still be painfull.

There has been a time, probably, where things where build up and could stand forever. But that time has been gone. I think people shouldn´t hold on to hypes anymore. Or to the next public made god on a pedestal, as pedestals break and gods fall down on their face. Never, Ever, attach yourself to one.

Don´t go to easy on feelings. As unimportant as people wish to make them these days, people are build up out off feelings. Irrelogic as they are. But life is irrelogic, painfull and unfair.

It´s possible to fight unfairness, that happens a lot these days and it was about time it was going to happen- But to fight pain is a harder thing. Inner pain kills people. Or so to say, I´m not easy with my feelings. To me inner pain is almost deathly, and has almost been deathly.

I´ve learned not to fear a lot off things in life. By lot off things I mean things people are barely used to, but I´ve learned to deal with it. I don´t know if it´s common sense to scratch open some wounds, I have learned it´s useless to try to convince people off my side off a story, and that I´m sensitive for their lack off understanding, I have been bursting into anger about that some times. I still think I´m not as guilty as they make me. I don´t know why I bring that up on here, what for?

I have had my share off pain and punishment by fate. I´m sure off it, and I´m known with a lot off people thinking it´s funny to see me suffer. Do not cast thy pearls before swine as they say. I should stop pointing out such things to some people, as they don´t deserve to know. Somehow I sense I´m in trouble somewhere, and on the other hand I think I´m too mature to accept their punishment and let it come over me like something I´m the victim to. Somehow I think everything´s  over already, I´ve broken contact with it entirely and it´s not my cup off coffee anymore. I think I´ve done well with that, and I have put it on bravely for standing by my side and refusing to give in to pressure. I´ve done the right thing by turning my back on it when I couldn´t take it anymore.  I´m certain I´m right.

I have been cat-called too many times, and have been degraded too much by to have been called a slut and a whore and to be pressured into a certain role that didn´t feel right. There is nothing acceptable about that. I have been bullied and broken down into too many pieces. And I reacted furious to that. Somehow to end all off it and break with them was the best thing to do. To fiercely stand your ground is better than to be mentally buried by bullies. I´m not going to take it back.