Good evening at the 3th off June, 2020.

Good evening everyone,

I feel well. I don't feel depressed or bad these days, though I feel a bit distant from my neighbours. I have been reading something that occupies my mind, but I suppose it's something good since it helps me cope with stuff. I have been reading the buddhistic wisdom from a South Korean monk, Haemin Sunim. As it caught my eye on a (In the Netherlands quite famous) site which sells books and other stuff.

Sometimes, that happens. I have an abillity which I would call 'Intuïtive Shopping.' Sometimes when I see something, I have the urge / a strong feeling out off nowhere to buy it, and often that works out well. The purchased items often do something for me. 

Most things written in my copy off his first book hit ground with me and are helping. It calms my mind and makes me see things diffrently. Which is a perfect thing for me at this time and space off being. I agree with most things, and I can relate a lot off things to my personal life and experiences from the past. I would like to thank Haemin Sunim for writing this, as it helps. I have never met a real life therapist helping me with issues like that.

Though soaking in all off that wisdom makes me a bit distant from my surrounding. I have told someone what's on my mind, and that it's hard to find connection about it with other people. I felt it was a good thing to inform her. If people catch me in this floaty state off being they might think I'm delusional. But I suppose I'm fine.

Despite feeling so distant, I feel like reading these books off wisdom at least three times to soak everything in correctly. Even the symptomps off my schizophrenia seem to shut up when I read this, and think about all off this. It works as a cure at this moment. I wonder what happens when I lay it aside, but for now it's perfect.

I think that's about it, though I would like to quote something from 'Dingen die je alleen ziet als je er de tijd voor neemt.' (In Dutch, I'm sorry) to my audience.

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Schuif niet heen en weer als een school vissen 

alleen omdat je vrienden dat ook doen 

of omdat anderen zeggen dat je dat moet doen 

Blijf je overtuigingen trouw. 

Zet het bestaande paradigma op zijn kop

en word een trendsetter.  

(Haemin Sunim - Dingen die je alleen ziet als  je er de tijd voor neemt.) 

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Thank you for reading