Good morning at the 27th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a warm night tonight. We're ahead to a warm week in The Netherlands. 

*

The protocol has it, orange nailpolish has to be off the day after Kingsday. I removed mine yesterday evening. My nails could be done more tidy, there's both statement pink and orange polish still in the ridges. We had an orange tompouce (The 'ou.' in it being pronounced as the ou in douche, not like mouse.) on a cute plate, but other than that it was a bit on the boring side. But it did not matter to me. 

I just did not feel like it due to my opinion. I haven't even watched the high points off Kings day in the evening news last night. It totally passed me by. It did not matter. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 26th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's a fresh night tonight in The Netherlands. 

*

It's 4 AM, I've slept, I'm sitting here in the living room, writing this to you, as good as pain free. But let's not outcall the gods. I decided to stay home this Kingsday, and do it in moderation. I don't feel much for celebrating Kingsday this year, but I'm willing to eat an orange Tompouce pastry for The King at de Boed today. I might come off as an old crank. It's just a way off perceiving things this year. I think The King is a spoiled man, who actually doesn't deserve this during a crisis like this. But then I would steal away a beloved party from The People. That's the other side off the story and we can't do that either. People love Kingsday. It's just that The King could do less spoiled in times like this, but that's my opinion.  I painted my nails orange, though. Simply not to fall out off tune with other people today. 

But my pain has faded and I'm doing almost fine. I can sleep on my side. But let's not sigh too early in relief, let's take it slowly so I can be utmost certain. I think it would be outcalling the gods if I would visit mom. I sighed a bit too early last week, and I started to feel it directly afterward. So I had to call it off. Really, I had to skip Easter from pain. I wish to visit at Mother's day, but that's way ahead. 

These days are for spending a lot off time at home. I'm unemployed, but to keep myself buisy, I do home work like cleaning. Keeping my tables tidy, doing dishes at least once a day, keep the laundry up to date, and yesterday evening was for cleaning my grill. Really, household jobs can be vulnerable. I got help with laundry folding, cleaning the bed sheets and vacuum cleaning, but I mop the floor myself each week. And I clean the toilet. This home is still on the messy side, but at least it's getting somewhere clean. I open curtains and windows each day for fresh air. It's been hard to get me at that point. I was a real slouch with a messy home. But as I'm getting older and this whole crisis thing continues, I'm getting more and more tidy. I think them lazy slouches are a bit jealouse, but most people are proud off me. They'd declare me a lunatic if I would call it wealth, but it sure is luxury to have a clean grill. 😉 

Isn't it a fundament off most religions worldwide, to be clean? Cleanliness is next to godliness. Christianity, Islamic, Jewish, Buddhistic, all swear by clean houses off prayer. I think it's much better than filthy messes to burn incense in. It's just that it stays more in the home and the near surrouding than to go in the outside world when it's this fresh and clean in my home. That's what I mentioned. Maybe that's a more safe option than to seek it too far off, or merely, it's all I can handle at the moment. And this home is the place I can be found most off the time. So why seeking it in the outer world? Maybe the Universe is more common sensed than I think. It's more in the home or the close surrounding when I burn incense now. But why would I need something far off to work? To stay home is safe. It works for me at the moment. 

These are pictures I blogged about some time ago, from fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. It's just that the link failed when trying to share these. Today it works. I went out short before Easter and pictured these. My close surrounding can be so beautifull and pittoresque. It's really lovely. It's national heritage. Simply to be here is no punishment. It's beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 23th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cold and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

The sore was almost off yesterday, but I felt it came back really badly. I almost made the appointment for a weekend at mom's. I have to call off from pain again. It's 01.30 at night, and I got out off bed from a stomach ache, and the sore on my side makes it impossible to sleep on my side. 

He's victimizing me, and it takes too long. It places such a stamp on me and my life and it's a heavy burden while I'm the innocent party in here. He has had that slut for several years, but he outcalls me ugly and scum all the time. He doesn't let me go in it, I'm not granted a second or even a seventh chance with any other man. It's just him and my feelings are not important. It's oppressive and humiliating and I feel so oppressed by Yoram again. I wish he made me free to choose someone else over him, like I was supposed to do all the time. He just doesn't let me while banging that slut. It's all me to blame, and they all call me ugly for no reason nowadays, while at first I was the prettiest girl in the world. I'm always the one to blame, to be kept low, while that gladjakker with his big dick gets away with everything. It's been unfair from the beginning on. I'm NOT the one to blame, It's NOT right. And I wish to continue my life in freedom and with equal rights to anyone. Not these rights to be scampted and dominated all the time by this giant dick off a man. And his prissy yet dominant followers. 

He should let me go, instead off sucking out my blood like a first class parasite. 

And people should realize and accept we are not a set, and it has never been there. People where so convinced we where 'the thing.' But in the end it wasn't, and I never wanted to. It was actually really scarry to be pressed in such a corner. They did not want to see the truth from my side. We are not a thing, and for my mental peace, we are better not since I never could stand the man. He's too stupid for me. Deal with it. They should finally move on and let me go. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good morning at the 22nd off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's fresh and cloudy outside tonight. 

*

I can't catch sleep. Something in me stays wide awake, and makes it impossible to sleep tonight. My second day off Easter went by pretty well. I feel with the death off the Pope. He was someone who felt with the poor and the weak and stood up for them. And who reformed the church or tried to. A loss for the world I guess. 

But my Easter went by pretty well. I prepared extra good foods and ate so good. I pictured everything. I don't know if it's appropriate to post all off that on here. I don't know if it will make people jealouse off it. Or snobby, or below this standard. I have no clue to what people might think off it. That's the charm off this weblog, but it could also go wrong. Maybe my dinners.... 

Dessert: 

white chocolate mousse for two days. It's been really great to eat all off this. It was delicious. It's how Easter meals should be. I only have to find out how to cook steak more perfectly. It's a way to go to practice with it. My skills on cooking perfect steak. It's really a challenge. And offcourse I had Kaiser buns for breakfast and cinnamon buns for lunch. It's been really good. 

This perfect food is not something I do every day. It's this year's Easter for this turn. de Boed had some Easter treats for us. 

Really nice off them. I have been vreeting this weekend. I still have to do the dishes. I'm out off energy for it for tonight. And I had this: 

Chocolate Easter eggs with a Pistachio pastry for two days. It's been Easter best and I have been enjoying it. I have been arranging it perfectly, I'm almost proud off myself. Some points off improvement, but most things where perfect. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 21st off April, 2025.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's fresh, grey and rainy in The Netherlands. 

*

I got my laundry on, it's the second day off Easter, I have been eating well and the food was really yummy, but I haven't stuffed my face on Easter foods. It's not going too bad today. My side still hurts a little, I thought it had increased a little this morning. So taking it easy it is. I can handle it. So far, I'm a little restless. But taking it easy I think goes well, unless when I get messed up in my mind. So it's not easy to determine. Maybe emotionally I handle it too well. Pressing all emotions about it away untill it become delusions. I'm not used to Easter this way, but it's not too bad. Altough the sun isn't out today, so no outside bench hanging with the cat for me. In the end, it might have been as if something has missed this Easter and I'm taking it too easy. (I mean a weekend with mom. Not Easter luxury. But mom's company.) 

In my opinion, one off the summons off luxury is dried fruits. I don't know where that comes from. Just like medieval royalty I think that really shows wealth. Just like spices and nuts. There was a time where in this country, it didn't cost that much. But now we're all robbed and companies take it like criminals, it sure is a sign off wealth again. Just like in the medieval age. Tutti Frutti cake certainly is the head price nowadays. But it would be such a refined Christmas treat. Or something for the winter months starting November. I promised to make Tutti Frutti cake on here some time ago, I still didn't get to it. (That's been years ago.) Maybe if I got it high in my head, I even might purchase fresh Tutti Frutti from the market, and feel like a medieval princess this winter. I know these times are very expensive. I might ditch it when it gets too much. So I should not be pinpointed to it. I can't even afford splurges on Christmas cookies and chocolates, so I should beware with dried fruits in Christmas gifts. But maybe I'll do that for this year's Christmas cake. 

I'm making plans way ahead. Maybe a bit early. And we should see. But it's one way I feel really rich. I found out spices, dried fruits and nuts where for the very fortunate during medieval times. Maybe that feeling off wealth when working with them comes from that place in history. Maybe something in my soul remembers. Strange enough. But I should not sound floaty. Good fortune like that for everyone is something from recent times. Somehow I think fortunate times will come back. And ordinairy people can afford them again. It's a dream to work with these again on a regulair base. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.      

Good evening at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was a lovely Easter day in Spring. Beautifull and nice. 

*

I promised to post a picture off my Easter tulips. Here they are, they're a bit wreched, a bit crooked, but everything goes well if you know how to photograph. 

Easter wasn't too bad. I have been enjoying it outside nearby our koi-carp pond. With the neighbourhood cat to keep me company. Sacha the cat is really my friend. She is a tortoise shell and said to bring luck according to the Japanese. She lives in a home nearby. It wasn't too bad due to the sun and petting Sacha. 

I have been worrying, over-thinking. 'All those small things people aren't concerned with anymore... I still do these. But aren't they stupid for not doing so? why don't they still do these?' 'Why the hell do you think they don't do them anymore?' Something replies back in me. They're too buisy at their job or with their friends, at life. I've had that feeling for a long time. 'Why don't they do so anymore?' But I think people are too buisy, their minds too caught up with other things. But sometimes I feel what I do should also be done, still. But they say I should not over-worry. It's a flaw in me. It's why I'm in psychiatric health. See. Two days off bad medication intake and I start it again. This morning went well, by the way. My failed career at school started by wanting to change the world. And it failed at worrying. I worry about things nobody seem to do anymore. Them lazy slouches probably have a clearer mind. That's why they're no mental patients. 

I constantly think 'oh, someone should do this or that, or it should go with a little more care or diffrent.' I might be a little obnoxious. I can't do it myself to begin with. I think I have too much heart or a diffrent mindset that does not make sense. Something from an era where people still cared. Some place, somewhere, some time, long ago. But that can't be. I'm a bit annoying with it. The opposite off love is not hate, it is indiffrence. I see it constantly happening. That's why things go bad in my opinion. Because they don't care anymore. And the crisis makes it worse. They where not concerned to begin with, and now everything has to go cheap or be skipped due to money. Will the world still be allright after this? I know it will keep on turning, but will it still be allright? And will things withstand? I probably got nothing better to do than to worry about these things. Especially when I'm badly medicated I'm like this. They say I should not be concerned. Since it's bad for my health. 

I can take deep breaths and sneeze again, it's only a pinch point off sore in my side for the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good morning at the 20th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

Merry Easter to all. 

It's cold and cloudy outside in The Netherlands. 

*

I'm typing you this while my nails dry. I don't look that Easter best, I'm a bit slouchy this year, but at least my nails look almost a statement pink. For fancy and almost tidy occasions, I think this shade rocks it. Otherwise I think it's a little bit loud on people. I should not tell them what to do, but it's how I feel about it. But Easter actually feels like the perfect occasion for such a shade on my nails. It's not too loud or too heavy today. 

Yesterday I felt like shaking up them lazy slouches by tidying up my living room table, and serve myself tea with a pistachio pastry and Easter eggs really cute. And show the world. Really fancy, really nice, during a vintage era like this, this is almost pride. You could say. And the lazy slouches had a hard time dealing with it and gossiping about it loud and stupid. I think some women in the fantasy scene are really stupid and lazy when it comes to these sort off things. Slouching it like pigs. During a war in this style, that is not appropriate. I might be a little insane, but it's how I try to keep spirits up. Unemancipated? Might be. honourable? Yes. That's more off the thing. I think we're about to lose the war, but can we at least keep spirits up or try to? Or am I the only one who does that? The foods on my table are simple but good, my table is clean and I still feel well and not depressed. Maybe due to household duties to keep me strong. And the whole style I try to put up with it. But just for myself. Most men have never proven themselves worthit. So I put on all off this just for silly old me to have a comfortable living in this world during this time and day off being. 

Why am I awake at night? I feel I'm fighting death again. When I put myself to sleep, my head is wreched and I feel I'm almost dying. I can't catch sleep due to it. It's not my side that hurts, it's really my head that plays games with me. I'm a sucker who forgets her pills in the morning. I take them around noon from forgetting them for two days in a row. That's almost asking for it. Health care thought it would be a good idea for me to take controll off my own medication intake. But I have told them ahead I would mess with it and be forgetfull. But that's why my head is toiling a bit and doing hard with me. I have told them I'm an idiot with it, but where they to listen? Nah-ah. 

Chocolate is really expensive these days. but I think I do well for ignoring that, and not buying it that much. This Easter it's just one bag off plain dark, milk and white chocolate eggs during Easter itself. I don't crave 300 flavors and even more Easter rabbits for this year. Simply not purchasing, just like Christmas cookies. You could almost feel I'm unemployed on my pictures about it. Barely any sweetness for me during these holidays. Though I found out Pistachio in a pastry tastes great. 

   

It's something to give lazy slouches a headache with. And to enjoy Easter with, offcourse. A clean, lucky and almost organized home maker can still show this off to the world. It's my humble idea off pride nowadays. I should not over-act on it, though. That's almost seeking for trouble. And this picture does not show I'm unemployed. On other hand, I think this is good enough. (That deserves it, at least.) If I tidy up tomorrow morning, I'm all steady for a lonesome Easter 2025. I don't even have my family in my surrounding this year, but at least my care home does it for me. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 19th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning it's sunny and cold in The Netherlands. 

*

It's something for the headlines off the news, I've slept through for a whole night! It's really an appropriate morning, and the sore in my chest is reduced. It's still there, and it's still bothering me, but it's acceptable and something I can live with for now. Only if I breathe in real deep or sneeze it's still there. Still enough being felt to stay at home for it. It's not done, but I could sleep on my side tonight. 

I'm baking off two cinnamon buns for breakfast. It's not Easter yet, but they where calling my name from the freezer. At least to eat goes well. In moderation, since I can't call the amounts for Easter foods scrumptious. It was one hell off pricey, but I got little amount for it. Still I think it's going to taste well. But really, these amounts are hell to pay if you have a family. I'm glad I don't have one. Still, Easter. I think many a picky care taker would not call me out for eating too much with these scandalous sober amounts. 

But yeah, I've slept untill 8 this morning. Being in bed wasn't so hurtfull 💖 Maybe next week I will hand out the Easter chocolates to mom if the curing proces goes this well. I'm not like Miss Piggy, getting up from a surgery table all at once yelling 'I'm cured!' Naw, this sore is quite serious. But this place is so beautifull, it's almost a crime to go home from here during Easter. It's authentc, covered in flowers, and incredibly, timelessly springy beautifull this year with the cherry blossoms all out. It's a dream this Easter. So, I don't mind to stay. I'm photographing all the beauty this year. It's like the 1930's and 40's, where everyone had to live it sober, while the farmers and the village folks still had a little luxury with everything in bloom. It's timeless and lovely. Yesterday I pictured fruit blossoms and chickens nearby. I love it, and more will follow. So my Easter isn't all ruined. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading   

  

Good morning at the 18th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's cloudy and fresh outside in The Netherlands. It's still dark, though. 

*

I'm here in my living room, I just took painkillers and I try to empty a pilch off water. (By drinking it, offcourse.) I put on a warm vest and I'm sitting my sore out. Today is for tidying up, cleaning the kitchen, tidying the living room and clean the toilet. Household chores I piled up this week. It sincerely has to happen. I think I'm very proud off myself if my home is clean during Easter. 

I don't know who else has this, but due to this crisis, I prepare foods better than I usually did. More thoughtfull, with great care and more caution. Due to prices. If I grease and flower a cake pan for example, I make sure it's done utmost well and all cake comes out perfectly instead off bits being off after the proces off baking. I do my best better to it. And a little grease to that: I imagine to prepare it for my really hot crush. The tension off you know what (😉) makes me do my best a little bit better, and picture it very nicely for the internet to see on Facebook. 

So it's not just dry potatoes, vegetables and meat, but really tastefully made food from it, done with Ikigai care and love. When I'm capable to cook. If not, it's just take away and pizza. But honestly, I would not feel ashamed if Ed the dragonslayer would look at my Facebook, and see what I cook with him on my mind. So, that makes me do my best a bit better too, both prices and the idea off my very hot crush seeing it. He's so hot you won't believe it. 

I had him on my mind with the Easter groceries. It made me want to eat perfect foods. I think it works to take good care off myself and cook well for myself. I never confessed to him. I just don't know if my broccoli would be so good again if I would end up with a broken heart. But I'm not planning to confess he's the hottest man in the whole Zaanstreek. I should be very carefull with that. It's good not to have him in my close surrounding. It's a little key secret in cooking for the eye off the world to see: The thought off a little you know what when picturing it. It's grease for the mechanics in my head / my system that make me cook. Just like price increasement. And my idea off respect for food. 

In my head, I hear them lazy slouches complaining it always looks that good. But it's the only thing I do. I don't take more care off my looks, though I think I don't look dull, but making foods look sincerely good on the internet is all I do due to that crush. A common gal would spend tons on make-up and clothes, spend time in the bathroom and tempt him. (And get the guy) I make sure my foods look nice and picture them in a good-looking light for the world to see. 

I think Ed the dragonslayer would reject me if he would find out. That would make me so sore, I'm not likely to say it to him. I wish to keep on cooking this way. For my own sake. It's affordable and healthy. I better keep it at that. Before I start to swoon over the potatoes again. (Naw, it's usually the meat and the vegetables that steal the show.) And it's just that on a daily base, I can't afford expensive desserts, but I can flaunt a bit with the dishware. I got second hand bowls from a give away spot a few years ago. They look perfect. And it's always the cheapest Vanille Vla. But it's all I can afford. Ed the dragonslayer is no ordinairy man, I think I might do it all wrong. Maybe he wants to see better foods, or diffrent foods. But this is what I got at the moment. But he's inspiring. Motivating, and if a lazy slouch wishes to do what I do, she should pretend to cook for her man my way. I think I would not be capable to 'get the guy.' But I eat well at the moment. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

*

Today was for General Practice. Appearently, they think I cramped or stretched a chest muscle. It's not really dangerous, it's just that it can last for a few weeks. I prefer my own home and my own bed when it comes to that. So, I stay at home this Easter. And I have to keep that spot warm. I have to find something for that. 

When it comes to Easter, I decided to purchase yellow tulips for the occasion. They're on my dressoir in an antique vase from the family. I bought them on the way home from General Practice. And I decided to eat nice meals and do a pastry this Easter. A coffee with a fellow client with an en Vogue pistachio pastry. I've read up somewhere pistachio is the trend for this Easter. 

My plates are one hell out off fashion, but I serve good foods on them. And to be honest, I don't like the current Easter trends. My shirt is a bit Easter Fashion. But leave it at that, I think the current fashion in dining is a bit rough in it's lines. I think it was cheap to develop. It's not refined, where I prefer more cozy details. But if you'd want dining plates like that, from, say, Pip studio in The Netherlands, you'd pay the head price. I can see why that's not actually fashion. But it comes off as if current Easter dining trends look a bit cheap compared to previous ones. But maybe that's this year. I feel I should fall back on the timeless and the classics not to fall out off style. Or my own feeling off style,  (Classic is out off style this year. But it was so pretty when it began these previous years.)

I miss the days where every farmstyle Belle could flaunt with her Pip Studio dish ware. Even my cousin had it. (I was too young and too poor for a set.) But that's really back in the days. I have to accept there's a time where I come off a bit old fashioned with what I got. Naw, I can't flaunt with the dishware, but at least I can flaunt with what's on top off it, at least that still stands. 

 I hope my tulips will bloom, They're still in the green knob at the moment. They deserve a picture on here when they stand all nice. 

Honestly, I made Easter less dry, but what is more off a dry Easter than one where laughing hurts like hell? Naw, that can't pass for a dark point in a crisis, where I have to keep myself in all the time not to hurt myself from laughing about my own jokes. I'm like the Brits, when it's bad, make sure you can laugh about it. Really, vreeting myself an incident was not the intention last week. They say this can lasts for a few weeks. I have to accept. Hopefully it will be over by next month. But let's simply await that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 17th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's softly raining outside. 

*

I'm sitting here with a pot off tea in front off me. I can't sleep anymore from pain in my chest. The Guardian Angels aren't really biting today. It hurts an awfull lot. It's 04.00 AM, I decided to spend Easter home alone, due to my bed being more comfortable when I have all sorts off pain to deal with. And mom not really being helpfull if I would go there. It's going to become a boring and dry Easter. I'm also recommended not to eat fat foods. I have to take it lightly due to these pains. And now we think it's not my stomach, but maybe a muscle in my chest. I have to call General Practice this morning. It's too much to sanely handle. 

To breathe deeply, to cough, to swoon, to laugh deeply- it all hurts too much due to the pain in my chest. It's so deep, it's almost unnatural. I hope it's not a heart attack due to greasy ordered foods. I can't get the clue to it, so I better don't analyze it myself. That would be unthoughtfull. 

It's really overwhelmingly big. Just like the headaches, but I got rid off them by drinking enough water. That's how I saved my life with that. Having pain that kills me in my chest is really hurtfull. I don't know how to get rid off it this time. I took painkillers. But I still feel it through medication.  It lasts ever since Sunday. It's really time to see the doctors for it. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

Good morning at the 16th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's warm and dark outside in The Netherlands. 

*

My side hurts so badly, I can barely breathe. It's 04.00 AM, I've slept a few hours. Health care said they can't do anything for me untill General Practice opens. I'm hurt so badly, really, I'm not used to over-eating on such a scale. Usually I'm really prude with food. If that's the cause. I'm hurt, I can barely breathe or laugh, or cough. Yesterday evening I was doing really hard finding a position to sleep. I have a Guardian Angel LadyBug on the internet. Everytime I post a sore, he cures me kinda fast. That's what he does, that's why I'm so open about it. I believe if I post something on the internet, someone cures it with magic, or something reads it which cures it kinda fast and easy. Or I should see General Practice first thing tomorrow, and use common sense, though the Guardian Angel often also works for me. If he's still among my readers. 

It's a sign I don't vreet. Being hurt from feeding on take away this weekend is a sign I don't do it that much. Not as much as common youth, usually I'm more well-thought with it. But I can't withstand it, appearently. It hurts really badly. And it holds on for several days. Usually it vanishes more easily than this. I'm not used to this. Really, to take a deep breath already hurts. I had to pile up several thoughts and emotions yesterday evening. Because relieving them would have hurt too much. We're almost three days further now, and I think to see a doctor is not a bad idea. Laughs already hurt. It's not preferable for me to have this issue. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good morning at the 15th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

It's somewhat warm tonight. 

*

I'm out off bed with a stomach ache. I have to take it calmly for the next few hours. My body digests the foods from this weekend a bit slow. 

I'm doing a bit floaty. I have been following the news these days. The subjects are really interesting. People say you better don't follow the news, but I think I better do, to be informed about what's going on in the world nowadays a bit. It's better than knowing nothing. They can tell you anything if you don't watch. If you watch it like a great adventure, it's not as damaging than when you watch with your whole heart in. At least that's what works for me nowadays when I watch it. Contrairy I'm like 'Oh, my favourite soap starts at 8.' but that's my cynism. Sometimes I watch a TV show after it, sometimes I quit watching TV for that night, but then at least I know what's going on. It's better to be informed than to stick your head in the sand. At least I watch only once a day. I'm not a news junk, but just slightly informed. 

I think, this year it does not matter not to be festive with Easter. I will attend at my mom's, but I'm thinking off doing so only for one day. I don't feel like celebrating it this year. It's not really important if I do so or not. If I would have children, it would have been diffrent. But I'm an old spinster without, so I don't disrupt anyone for not celebrating. Just a matter off how I feel it this year. Photographing flowers is my ode to Spring for this year, I'm not Christian, usually Easter marks the beginning off Spring and celebrating Spring alltogheter for me. But this year I don't feel like it. I just don't know if my photography counts for the Easter gods. I've just been told that it's really good. So maybe it's not that bad at all to do this instead off celebrating Easter. I think it doesn't matter for the cause off Ukraine wheter I celebrate it or not at all. It's not important. But it's up to me. I haven't even eaten Easter chocolates. My mom ordered some from the local chocolate shop, I bought them for her, so I think my first Easter chocolate for this year will be at Easter itself. I haven't had a rabbit or an egg so far. I'm that much off an Easter Grinch this year. I think it should be integrit this year. But that's my opinion. I also don't feel for Kingsday this year. I'm probably a bit off a crank. I think the king is a spoiled rat during this time and day off being, during this crisis. And the royal arrogance doesn't speak to me this poor year. He doesn't deserve to be celebrated this year. I think it doesn't matter wheter I celebrate or not. It's not off importance. I just don't feel for the nation wide festivities. I'm not in a mood for parties and celebrations. It feels inappropriate this year. It just doesn't speak to me. 

What do I feel for? Small comfort. Healthy foods, comfort reading, such things. Not really big parties. Something with both feet on the ground. It doesn't matter, the world is not saved by it. It's just this soft attack off mine, to skip on festivities. But I hope they understand. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 11th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's a beautifull and sunny day outside in Spring, in The Netherlands. 

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I'm not doing that bad. I mean, I talk to mycelf and I'm distant with fellow clients, but I'm not doing bad since Spring is the most beautifull off seasons in Zaandijk. It's gorgeous with all the flowers out. It lends itself perfectly for some sweet walks and photography. People on my Facebook love it, and so does my mom. This whole season is too beautifull, and I'm sensitive for the beauty off Mother Nature. The pink blossoms soothe my mood. And so do the tulips, the daffodils and the beautifull gems in the gras I can't name. An example?

These are some off my images. It's so beautifull. It's my idea off heaven. At least what I've read about heaven. Usually I spam my facebook with these. The elderly ladies love it. I took pictures off our Japanese Cherry Blossoms from the shared balcony at the first floor off my flat. It was really a good idea. The trees look perfect from that perspective. It's an ode to Easter, almost. At least this surrounding makes Easter less dry. Just like the May month- It's all dwelling in beauty for the eye to see. It's the high point off the year in this place. At least they don't take away the flowers. Everything is very expensive, but flowers outside are so durable, they keep coming back each year, so the government hasn't cut costs on them so far. I might be a simple soul to enjoy these. I just love them. Simple, senile, or a bit sensitive. I love it. I barely dare to show up at de Zaanse Schans, crowded with tourists as I expect it, otherwise it just screams 'Picture me.' Life outside is perfect nowadays. Walks, photography, sitting on outside benches, all sorts off things that are seen as hyper old fashioned, are great at the moment. It's beautifull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 7th off April. 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was bright, and almost too sunny in The Netherlands. 

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This morning was for baking appeltaart. From a 66 cent baking mix with donated spices, donated raisins and an donated egg. I measured the ingredients sober and well. Not to spoil too much. 

Spices are from the Toko, and the Elstar apples where on a discount. I adjusted two hands off roughly chopped walnuts to it. It's two tablespoons off cinnamon, one tablespoon off kardamom, one teaspoons off grounded cloves, half a teaspoon off nutmeg, and two teaspoons of star anise. Mom already donated these spices during this winter, I was sober with them. It will be for tomorrow evening's afternoon coffee at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. I hope they'll use the nice green decorated plates. It's how we can have appeltaart for relatively cheap. My appeltaart is usually a bit spiced. I wished to prepare it this winter, but I had no energy for it. But here it is. 

At the moment, I sit in my living room with a pilch off water in front off me. We have to drink, otherwise we would die. I think I do well, despite less luxury, despite harsh circumstances, despite those nasty headaches all the time. I think I do well. I feel I still love life. It's a thing I do: I love life. Life is beautifull. It's not necessairily fun, but it's beautifull and I believe in sweet old Karma to take care off me. And the world. That's what it does nowadays. It's what I believe. It's what I see. 

I can't even go to the shop to buy flowers, but this year I will try to clean my dressoir and take pride in more cleanliness. My head hurts too much for it, and I feel too weak. It's not much off a year for Easter to begin with. (Though that may sound like a lame excuse.) I made space this morning I'm not likely to fill. Luckily I don't have kids. Or a spouse that would expect me to do elsewise. At least this home is not empty. It's sweetly decorated and full enough not to be empty. And no Easter decorations is not a miss. I think I'm not the only one in this flat building who does nothing for Easter. I think I'd better be glad I can show up alive at an Easter feast this year if it continues like this. Let's make that washed, with a dash off a scent, and they better be gratefull this big old star appeared there alive and well. Haha. (Please read that sarcastically. I don't like to display arrogance.) Someday, somehow I'll make more out off Easter. But let's not promise. 

Tomorrow will be for cleaning the toilet, and doing laundry. We need basic hygiene and clean clothes. Also during this time off being. Even a weak mental patient who is easily tired can do that. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Edit: This is a slice off Dutch applepie with our coffee this evening. People complimented me on it a lot. It was really nice for an ordinairy day like this, with little to happen. Sometimes people need a kind pick-me-up. It worked tonight. 

Thank you for reading! 

Good morning at the 7th off April, 2025.

 Good morning everyone, 

This night it's cold and dark outside in The Netherlands. Nights are freezing, days are beautifull. 

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I still don't feel it for Easter. I don't have Easter decorations in my home yet, and I don't miss them, but it starts to itch a bit. 'I should do it...' starts to creep up inside a bit. All I need this year is a branch. I still got decorations in storage that look good. Previous year, I purchased a few nice Easter charms for the branch. I think they will work well again this year. I also got a Mr and Mrs. Easter rabbit. A pink Pip-Studio like chicken basket and a few bold coloured eggs for inside it. It's just that I'm not really certain. As if something ruined my feeling for Easter this year completely. Maybe it's the news. I have been fanatically watching the evening news for a week or so. It's as if I would do violence to Easter by putting it up in a war year. My mom doesn't feel like it, either. She hasn't got her branch and decorations up, either. Naw, what we think off as suitable would be yellow flowers. That's a spring tradition in our family. A simple yet classy bush off yellow flowers, preferably tulips, instead off all off those decorations. Which feel a bit out off tune this year. Maybe I should do that. A cute bush off yellow tulips on my dressoir, integrit yet nice and simple as it looks during this droopy Easter. I think flowers are a whole lot off something on itself already. Gratefull as we should be for having them in our country. I think off this song, 'Het regent harder dan ik hebben kan, harder dan ik drinken kan...' And it suits my feeling for Easter 2025. ('It rains harder than I can handle, harder than I can drink.') So, an integrit bush off yellow tulips for me during this Easter. Simple yet appropriate. I think I will go after that this week. 

I think if I tidy and clean my dressoir and put it in a nice vase, I did my best for it well enough. Let's hope the Spring gods agree with me. It might have been diffrent if I had kids, but I don't. So I think it's not much off an issue not to have an outstanding Easter on this year. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

 

 

Good evening at the 4th off April, 2025.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was bright and sunny in The Netherlands. 

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You know what, they should have written down in Twilight how Edward Cullen raised his kid, because that's really difficult. Everyone thinks they can pop out kids nowadays, but honest, a death horse can do it- But it's really difficult to raise them well. I might repeat this joke in the future. Having kids is no joke. 

It's beautifull weather, it's scorching already for my skintype. It's a very sunny day in spring. I barely feel like home cooking anymore. By the end off the day, I'm always so tired it's usually pizza or take away. I eat lunch and breakfast every day, but dinner is such an issue for a single, mental person on heavy medication, I lack energy and I can't really rock it like the olden days. I don't starve, but it's such an issue. I have no energy for better. I do my best, but I'm so tired and drained from the day. 

I think the world will be solved in the future, but it's not near soon. Maybe I'm a slant old optimist. Thinking there will be peace and a normal president for the United States, but in the somewhat distant future. Honest, 2027 will be the worst year for all off this, but there will be peace again one day. I don't know if everyone who wants to, can still read my blogs. Since it's all so expensive by then. It's just that it's not the end off the Earth, that would be shocking. I'm convinced, but who am I to fool? Maybe you should all see for yourselves. I just should remember not to act like an optimist weirdo. People think I'm crazy if I would do so. 

And really, Americans can't have Dutch coffee on a large scale anymore in the nearby future due to import taxes. Or our cheese, or our flowers. It's bad for them. Everyone knows nothing comes near Dutch coffee off good quality. The world is not as connected as it used to be nowadays. It's a loss for everyone. The World was an understanding, a real power statement for everyone, everyone was connected, and if you wanted to, you could belong. Even if in a diffrent time, you would have been the biggest nobody on the planet. Nowadays The World is not capable to hold up it's pants anymore due to costs and war. I think The World is not as connected as it used to be to The Internet, so I don't know who reads, and if people can still read. Who would have thought we still had to fight out a war, dressed and dolled up in 90's fashion? At least that's my idea, young people have no money for dressing up, and above a certain age or rich all fights stuff out in 90's fashion. I miss the idea off a connected 'The World.' before it all came down. Broad mindedness is not usuall anymore. It's a miss. I wish you would see what I see, and it's not the standard for the future. But then you have to be a really good seer. And I better don't claim that anymore. But for the next 5 to 7 years, we're stuck in it. It's also in my beliefs. Somewhere in between my ears. It's not how I would like to raise children and young people, in this narrow mindedness. It's difficult. I'm a globalist who believes in equal rights. That used to be a cool thing, now I better shut up. 

These are dangerous times. And something I see as justice is far off. Nowadays, it's really local, close by, our own lawn- all those things that don't require internet, or import or export. I post pictures off stuff my neighbours would like to see. Fancy and old as they are. Like flowers, or old Zaan houses. I think I do well to it, under these extremes, I make myself a well-behaved kid. Floral beauty, timeless and under any circumstances agreeable. I have people to take count off, I better don't go overboard. And they like me and my style. At least what I think is timeless, nice and agreeable. To misbehave is such a thing for rats. Or maybe people with less off an understanding with their neighbours. That's why I might look a bit frumpy on Facebook. It keeps me going. And I can afford. I don't know how I would have been among my own age, or just care takers. I think it means I care about my neighbours and fellow clients. It's a dark world, but at least I try not to offend them. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.