Good evening at the 27th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is rainy and cold. I even saw hints off snow on our pavement in front off the building and that is rare. The Netherlands hasn't had snow in November since ages. It somehow reminded me off scenes in Harry Potter, where they return to the castle with snow in their hair during November / early December. 'It's already snowing somewhere in the mountains.' All because off that depressing tad off snow on our local pavement somewhere in the flattest area off the world with no mountains in sight. It's probably gone tomorrow, but it was there for a while. 

*

Corona restrictions are strictening by monday, and I had my own way off fighting Corona Blues. 

By making de Boed an outstanding Banana bread decorated with icing, slivered almonds and pieces off crushed Speculaas cookies. 

It was a great taste to people at de Boed and I had the receipe from a free magazine called 'Boodschappen.' Available for free at the supermarket I mainly go to. (Supermarkets in the Netherlands hand out free magazines with good receipes to their costumers for inspiration to them. I have a big pile with years and years off free editions in my book case. They have one every month.) Sometimes the best things come to you for free or are somewhat free. Not always, but sometimes luck comes for free.  

It's funny how I upload a picture off something that's already been gone by now. People loved it during coffee time at de Boed. It's a way to fight Corona Blues to soften circumstances to them by serving them something good with their coffee every often. I can invoice my groceries by now for baking, so I can serve people these kind off things with de Boed paying for it. They said 'I didn't have to pay everything while everyone enjoys it.' I still have a lot off ingredients left. I have the feeling I might make one again tomorrow for them. That seems sort off fair since they paid it.   

It's cold, it's wet snow outside and Corona is increasing and the country slowly gets back to lockdown. But at least I can soften it a bit for fellow clients and staff members. 

I wish to spend the week in between christmas and new year's eve watching Harry Potter. I wonder if we can see a white christmas this year, snow falling and temperatures below -15 degrees celsius for the entire winter. That requires even better baking, and more heartwarming soup each week. 

I'm tired. I feel exhausted a lot and I'm not really high in energy. I do walks each evening after dinner with a member off our care staff to get fresh air and not getting rusty in my legs. I sleep in time (I try to each night) I need fresh air to keep myself from overheating, inside and outside. I might drink a cup off coffee too much every often but I believe most Dutch people love their coffee. (I might just speak for myself. You can't speak for everyone if you state something like that.) Today I had just a few small cups at de Boed. I feel with poor people this season as poverty is not funny and I wish the government wouldn't increase the gap between rich and poor and be more heartfull with those in need. Most people aren't rich these days and hospitals are overflowing with patients and are not functioning up to where they should. We need the left wing in politics, but they are fighting each other and are unreliable these days. We need a better care system and something that watches us from falling behind in social care and things we need in life, and improvement should be for everyone. Not just for rich people. I'm not rich and I never have been, but at least I have something. Just a little something and I wish for care and wealth to be accesible for everyone. It's going to be a long cold winter, look after each other and don't be egocentric. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good evening at the 25th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cold and clear, changed by cold rain showers every now and then. It's only one month untill Christmas today. 

*

Wednesday Soup was for chickensoup. It was highly enjoyed by most people and I had adjusted alphabet vermicelli to it. It came from a receipe from the Soup Bible (I'm not religious according to the bible, but as some sort off a pagan / buddhist / esoterical believer I find the irony funny.) In Dutch it's called de Soepbijbel and I love how it's receipes always work out for me to feed the crowd in the hall from de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. My soup is appreciated and I'm proud to be a soup cook for about one year and a few months more every wednesday. People come and go at de Boed, But my soup lunch still stands firm to my fellow clients and staff. 

If christmas should have a soup as a start up, or if soup should be served at christmas, what kind off soup would that be? I have a few cream soups in my arsenal, among some very rich vegetable soups. People tell me it's as if they eat at a restaurant or hotel sometimes but what would be a perfect start up for christmas? I think people wouldn't be ashamed to serve my decadent soups at their christmas table if I say so myself and previous year a staff member served her family my Brocolli Courgette soup for christmas as a start up. (From one off my receipes.) I'm that good. And I'm not the kind off person to brag about her capabilities. (That staff member got re-located at another Leviaan spot because off her personal issues, but it was nevertless a compliment.) 

December should have a few soups you would love to eat at holidays. Luxury enough to make it at a dinner table. Everyday vegetable soup is allright for January when all the shine is over. Aside to paprika soup. (Thanks thinking out loud for filling in my Soup Scheldue for that month. Week one will be for Vegetable soup, week two will be for practicing Paprika soup.) I have served the crowd a creamy Brocolli Courgette soup about four weeks ago so I can't make it my Christmas soup. People love to eat varied. And I should remember this year is a hard year with little to celebrate due to the Pandemic still hitting hard on people. It should be festive, wholesome and somewhat comforting to eat my soups this month. The third week off January will be for potato soup (I've never tried that one before, but I'm wishing to adjust crunchy bacon to it. But that's for two months ahead. It's good to practice things every now and then) 

Next week will be my famous Mustard soup, and the week next to that will be for Mexican Nacho soup. (Not made from actuall Nacho's, but it's a paprika soup with a creamy cheese adjusted to it so people can dip nacho chips in it.) It doesn't scream 'Christmas.' But it's wholesome and it's fun for those who eat. Mustard Soup is, by the way, made with local Zaanish Mustard*. There is a mill at de Zaanse Schans (A famous tourist location) which produces it. This will be my soup scheldue for the upcomming time. December has three Wednesdays left. I could re-do creamy mushroom since that one has a festive and luxury feeling to it. I could also make it my christmas start up soup the 22th. Question answered: Creamy Mushroom will be a Christmas start up for my audience. The 16th could be for some sort off a tomato soup. As long as we have soup, we might or might not have a spark off warmth to hold on to these months. Despite there being new restrictions in the air for this country.   

(*Zaandijk isn't as famous as Dijon for it's mustard, and our mustard is more rough and a bit more sharp, but I can recommend for those who love mustard to try it if you can lay your hands on it. ) 

Allright, that's about it- I might make weblogs with soup receipes for those who are interested. 

Thank you for reading.     

Good afternoon at the 22th off November, 2021.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is a sunny yet cold day in autumn, it's been about time to dig up my wintercoat for this year. It's still comfy and it looks stunning. It's cold enough so it's appropriate. 

*

Today was for grocery shopping. This weekend I saw Sinterklaas enter Zaandijk. Sinterklaas is a Dutch tradition, celebrated with a centuries old saint and his companions to give children presents every 5th off December. Sinterklaas entering places with a large ceremony is a tradition the UN seems to question since Black Petes  (His companions and workers, where Santa Claus has his elves) are racist according to real black people. I think I should stick away from the discussion as I don't want to be involved in either sides. But in my opinion, things change sometimes and simply emancipating Black Pete is not a bad thing. But you seem to get into trouble with many people once you state that somewhere. It was nevertless fun seeing Sinterklaas entering Zaandijk and his couch and horses and the entire procession, containing black petes, children and their parents and a few police motorbikes passing by our street. I got a hand full off candy and 'pepernoten.' Some sort off small spiced cookies Sinterklaas is famous for.  

It was a good afternoon that day. 

I have been reading a few books these weeks. That's mainly the reason I haven't been online for quite some time. I have been reading the translation to 'Sepulchre.' By Kate Mosse (De verloren Tombe in het Nederlands) And two books on Japanese wisdom. One called Ichigo Ichi, and one called Shinrin Yoku, both by Fransesc Miralles and Héctor Garcia. (Not because off Hector the Ladybug, but because the subjects seemed interesting.) Miralles and Garcia launched a new book named Ganbatte about Japanese will power recently. As soon as I finished Shinrin Yoku, I would like to have that one too to complete my small collection from those authors on inspiring self-help books based on Japanese philosophy. (I also own 'Ikigai.') Their books are easy and inspiring to read. 

I've read Sepulchre around Halloween, and the time off year situated in the book seemed to match that period and it was a cool read. I've read it before in my youth but couldn't seem to finish it. I have been finishing it with a little effort almost one month ago.  

I do hard reading sometimes. I have my moments where I read quite a lot, and then periods off time where I read nothing or where it can't seem to please me. I'm not a bookworm. But November has been a month off books. 

I have been inside a lot off my time. I kept perfectly to all restrictions by the government these weeks by reading in the evening and to be honest, I can't be bothered if they restrict more this winter as long as there are books that have my interest. I wish I had my willpower from the beginning, though. Where I said 'put your shoulders under it, and all will be finished soon so we can be free again.' That's been about two years ago, almost. I think it's best to look at day to day and make best off the situation each day. But I wouldn't be honest with you if I said the restrictions are hard for most to bear. I feel a bit better once they're off our shoulders. I can still handle them, though. 

One thing I can't handle are the holidays. I find this time off year quite hard to keep up with and to stay well. It's a well known phenomena in psychiatric health, and I didn't know I did hard on it untill previous year. Ahead to that I had no issues with the holiday period. It's a period with a lot off things being off the normal way, so it's when a lot off people have issues with their mental state off being or loneliness. 

I'll keep up with you about it. 

Allright, that's about it-

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 17th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cold outside yet sunny. It was a nice day for late autumn. 

*

I shouldn't forget to put on vests and sweaters this season. Sometimes I'm a bit thoughtless and go out in my usuall longsleeve without anything over it. I'm often cold when I'm at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk when I'm about to do my business. I forget to think about warmer clothes these days. It's a good thing to remember before things get any worse. 😓 Most off the time I get myself dressed on automatic pilot and go for my longsleeve t-shirt instead off thinking too much about it. 

Today for Wednesday Soup was for an excellent creamy mushroom soup. I got complimented all the time during lunch time and got compared to a famous hotel (Van der Valk) with what it had become. It was an excellent soup, even for my doing it stood out above the rest in my opinion. Creamy Mushroom is one to repeat.

One off my key secrets for succes is to dress plain and simple when I'm about to make soup. It's almost a superstition but I hang on to it: A plain longsleeve, a simple pair off jeans and my go to walking shoes. Allright, my socks are bold and a bit outstanding, but other than that, no make-up and jewelry allowed to myself that morning most off the time. I take care off my face with skincare, though. No make-up and simple clothes are a good thing since you can't smear anything on something fancy and your face won't be ruined with what you are doing when you peel garlic and adjust strong flavoured onions to your pot. And tasting soup and broth is no problem when you wear a plain t-shirt you wear most off the time. Many a spoiled princess would stick up their nose for me like that. But I can cook my audience a famous hotel worthit soup and that's what makes it worthit for me. I had to wear plastic kitchen gloves for hygiene and a mouth mask due to corona numbers increasing. So it's best not to look overly made up on mornings like that. It adjusts to the big succes off Wednesday Soup each week. And I'm not loved any less by most because off it. 

Thursday I allow myself a little more class by dressing a bit better and allowing myself earrings each week. I haven't probably told you, but I'm someone who's feeling for dressing up can vary strongly each day. Most off the time I don't wear make-up and feel perfect by it. But I have the need to dress nice. Sometimes I feel angry at myself for slacking on that point, but I have found a point again where I wish to be groomed. It's an issue most mental people have, but back to the point: Dressing plain and simple helps improving the Wednesday Soup. There's no need to look like a moviestar when you're buisy in a large kitchen. 

I have issues in my head a lot. Most off the time I feel cramps and sores without any pointable reason to it. I even had a mental attack this afternoon. I haven't had these drains where I feel attacked by someone far away from me in months. I was at panic by it and I burned up three incense sticks to chase the problem away. It slipped away during dinner this evening but the feeling off something nasty being on me is still there. Mental attacks are awfull. They're delusions but a bit more anxious making and overwhelming compared to the usuall stuff. I had the fear Vana finally found out what happened to their car in 2018 and a leading woman among them was after me with black magic, trying to punish me for it. I can't just point at people and say 'You're using black magic and you're a nasty vulture.' (It would be a relief to call her that and clear off my mind. But I wouldn't be helped with it)

Not that I would like to have anything to do with them again after everything I went through when still wanting to be on their good side. I just have the idea being away from them works better for me, but it's an anxious feeling, them trying to somehow punish me for chasing away their stupid car from the parking lot. I haven't had any respond to what I posted online about it, and they're stupid as heck when it comes to that. I believe they have no clue what happened and are too lazy and 'Van gisteren.' to find out. In my mind, Vana is 'van gisteren.' when it comes to a lot off things and not up to date about this. (It means they're not up to date enough to know.) 

People ignoring you all the time also means you can go your way undisturbed. People having a vague mind also means you are a few steps ahead to them most off the time. If you have a clear mind yourself. As long as they don't care, I can go my way and get away with it. That's what it comes down to. Aside to this, I mainly wish to stay out off their business and really go my own way from now on. Attacks don't help that ambition. I already feel good about it and I love life despite all off this, so it's been a good thing to step off their train. 

I have my period again. I wish it would finally truly break through and bleed like it should since it's keeping itself a bit back. Vana Events and being on my period (almost) is not a good combination. Calling that important Madame a stupid vulture adjusts to the matter. It would feel so good to tell her the truth, however. They call me a whore and a slut all the time after all and I believe I don't have to feel guilty to begin with about anything. She's only as important as to what they give her credit for. Outside the Vana Events hype, she's just an arrogant, snobby weirdo. Nothing more than that and I leave it at that. When people suggest you not to take things serious and be suspicious about the world, start with them first. They might be your next problem if you don't. 

(If you hang on to them more, they start to gain a certain amount off power over you when they alienate you from the world outside. This is also how sects work. By no longer questioning them and what they do, you start to feed their power, which is not healthy when you get at a point when you are no longer allowed to question them by them and have to see them as the centre off your world. Breaking free from them will be utmost painfull once you have reached that point so you won't and give them even more power and capability to restrictions. I have seen this in Vana and it's not to my liking. It makes me even question if Vana is a danger for our modern day society in that way since they are becoming more and more populair among people and promote egotripping to a certain point.) 

It's good to think free.  

With my mind free, my hands smelling like garlic and my period being on it's way 

I think it's better to stop for this evening. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you all for reading. 

          

Good evening at the 15th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today it's water cold, gloomy and grey outside. The only diffrence with summer is that it's incredibly cold outside today and for the rest off autumn. It's just as nasty, just a whole lot colder.  

*

Personal Story. 

This night I have been awake and baking sand cookies with a squeeze off honey in them. I have been making the dough the day before, I even set my refridgerator two points lower to be sure my dough would be perfectly solid to use cookie cutters on. I have no picture, but just like dried prune and raisin cake- it's something I bake quite often and an overload off pictures isn't what we wish for when it comes to this. 

My cookies got appreciated at de Boed. Baking sand cookies is my go to thing I want to do most often when I don't know what to do during a day in the weekend. Or it feels like I want to do that most when I feel bored. 'What to do next? Hmm, let's bake sand cookies.' or 'I feel like making sand cookies today.' And then I skip it to a day when I have time and opportunity to bake them. I have a few adjustments I make to my receipe to make them 'my.' version off sand cookies. It's something for someone who often suffers from lack off taking initiative that sand cookies are one off these things I still do. Lack off initiative is part off mental disease sometimes. Another thing I take initiative in every often is painting my nails a dark, stormy grey. This weekend it's -24. We go togheter - by Essence on my nails. I got the luck my dark taste is in fashion somehow. I don't follow trends, I barely follow news on that, but what I wear is somewhat cool. Dark colours are in fashion these days. (Allright, I wear happy socks which are in fashion. But it's merely to be funny sometimes to wear loud socks.)  

The rest off my day after lunch was spend with a headache. I had to take rest and order my groceries instead off going to the supermarket. Luckily the headache faded and I could attempt to afternoon coffee to see people's reaction to my cookies. (That is often a high point to my day. People loving my home made treats) Yesterday I had a bad headache too. It started a bit before dinnertime. I had done little that day but making cookie dough and spend my day at de Boed having coffee and just- sitting at one point and doing not much.- (I have that issue again, sometimes I feel somewhat blocked and do nothing with my day but sitting in one place and drinking coffee. Staff at de Boed asking if I want to do something, a game, a walk around the block, often don't get me at that point. I have that again these weeks.) And headache hitted me hard. I had to spend some time in bed after lunch. Maybe I drink too little aside from coffee, and a little too much coffee. It's Anthedonia I got issued with when I have that. That's what it's called when you miss initiative to do things. I nevertless still feel exhausted when spending my day like that. You'd suspect I would not be tired when doing nothing all day, but I sleep at night and I sleep well most off the time. Compared to a few years ago, my sleeping pattern is improved and I'm thankfull for that. Sleep is an important thing when you are a mental patient. It's a luck to still be noticeable about myself, but I can do little to nothing about it when I have these issues. It's feeling stuck inside myself and it's hard. 

Maybe a low vitamin D level hits in again aside from regulair winter gloom. I don't know. I should do something with the text: SAND COOKIES are a LUCK to bake. For some it might not make sense, but for me, they are. (And de Boed likes to provide them with their coffee every often.) I could dip them in melted white chocolate next time and serve them in that variety. I have the idea it would be a perfect match with my regulair receipe. But that's for next time when I feel like giving myself a little challenge. The text noticed above should somehow get a sign. If only for myself. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.     

Good evening at the 10th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was misty, cloudy and cold at Zaandijk at our location. It was depressing autumn weather and a lot off people have caught the flu and called off today. Corona numbers are increasing and consequences for the people are restricting again. 

*

Like promised, I would post information about my new mugs which have arrived yesterday evening. I bought two whole sets, more than what you see in the pictures, (Birds and mammals) but these are two examples. A wolf, and a bird I don't know the name off. (I hope they will last.) They are made off porcelain, and dishwasher proof according to the description. I think they look nice and will have a good spot among my other mugs. I was up for a few new mugs and I love how this supported charity. 

Natuurmonumenten Webshop

And like I promised, the link to their (Dutch) webshop. These mugs brighten up a dark and somber day. I had to live quite economic for the rest off the week and I still have to the upcomming period, but I felt it was worthit somehow. 

Today was for paprika / bell pepper soup. It's a signature soup I make whenever I feel like experimenting with soup and my skills. People loved it and I adjusted chicken breast to it today. I had to start a bit more early since de Boed's kitchen got maitenance today. The substance off my soup was a good one and it got complimented. Aside to paprika soup for Wednesday Soup, I have made a quark cake with dried prunes and raisins in it, (That one I post more often on here.) and I donated that for  the afternoon coffee moment. Somehow I felt I did what I could to brighten up a gloomy day at a community centre specialized in care for mental people. I got compliments all afternoon but somehow it was a bit too much. I turned all red and exhausted and had to take my rest for the next hour after having one cup off coffee and a slice off my cake since I felt like I had been buisy all day. Sometimes taking count off being a mental patient myself is a bit hard. It was, however, a good day for me on a lot off fronts. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.    

Good evening at the 8th off November, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today it's cold with here and there a rain shower. It's mainly autumn weather today, including leaves on the ground everywhere. 

*

Today was for Monday Grocery shopping. Aside from the main stuff I need to do outside, I mainly stay in most off the time. There's no place like the comfortzone off my own home. 

I went to the dentist last week, I have no holes in my teeth. I brush regulairly and I happen to brush well. There's still that issue with bleeding gums I actually have to toothpick more. But I'm a coward and making my gums bleed by having to pick the rot out off it is a step too far for me. I should, I should. Something in me tells me I could try it. It's necessairy to do so in my case, and the dentist has warned me several times already. It seems like I need to, and that's going to be my stick behind the door to 

-try-. 

Not much positive happened in the baking section. I happen to own a mold in the shape off a castle. I gave it to myself as a present for my birthday this year. I tried to make a chocolate bundt cake in it, but it got stuck in it and I had to be creative with what came out off it. I made a regulair looking chocolate cake with ganache and chocolate sprinkles in a springform with it. I loathe that. I have an inner perfectionist who is kinda hurt by all off this. Next time I'm going to try better, but I blew up on the batter to begin with. I forgot the flour and the baking powder while the batter was already inside the mold,  so I had to put the batter back into the bowl, add the flour and such and then put it back in the mold. I had greased and cocoa'd the mold ahead, (When one makes chocolate bundt, you have to use cocoa powder instead off flour over your grease which is preferably a butter of some sort.) but it got wrong this way and it's not a result I wish to show on the internet. I set myself a step back, and I'm going to try baking again with more easy stuff untill I feel comfortable enough to make chocolate bundt in the shape off a castle again. I could try a diffrent mold to practice first. However, my confidence got such a blow, I rather try some basic receipes and things I have been making over and over again first before I even wish to get myself to such a big project again. I'm a perfectionist at times. First things first, babysteps before I can walk. 

I ordered mugs from 'Natuurmonumenten.' A nature protection organisation in the Netherlands. I had the idea whispered in by a voice in my head. Sometimes it's a bit weird, but voices can have perfect ideas. Those mugs are just gorgeous to look at, and I do well by supporting a nature protection organisation. I had that idea myself first, but the voice supported me to do so instead off only thinking and I somehow agreed. There are so many people out there just talking, while they should be doing something for this world. I love the stuff 'Natuurmonumenten.' has to offer on their site. So it's going to be my first action for nature protection once they deliver my mugs in time. If they are reliable, I'm willing to buy more off their nice stuff. I felt somewhat off a positive rush that night after doing this. 

The rush to do well for this world sometimes feels so sacred, so intense and I love how it feels. I call it 'Sacred fire.' or 'Holy fire.' (Heilig vuur.) I don't know how to explain this to someone who has never experienced it before. It's a drive, a passion- It could chase a demon out off it's hollow and it's something that can't be compared to something else. It's positive. I can see myself doing more for this kind off charity. 

I could kick people out off their own cave and preach they should do more for charity- but that just doesn't work for most and we have all seen that kind off stuff before. It's not my style to confirm people to have a heart for the world. It's something I hope they find out themselves. I understand people clamping you with things about 'donate' and 'buy to support.' can be even seen as something rude and I compare it to be clamped in the streets by some sort off a religious or charity related organisation. Most people don't like that. If 'Natuurmonumenten.' has proven to be reliable, I can post a link to their site, however. And you can see for yourself. I'm not some sort off messenger from something divine. I'm just an ordinairy tut with a holy fire burning inside her to do something for this world. Make a diffrence, Purchase fancy tableware! 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.