Good evening at the 5th off September, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was for incredibly hot summer weather, despite there where clouds I believe everyone was having a hard time due to summer heath. It was a day for summer clothes instead off autumnal fashion. I hope the forecasted rain will fall tomorrow. (While writing this blog: Yes! It's raining!)  

*

Today I called the mental health office to ask if they could take on it more slowly with medication enlowering. Since I thought this was going too fast and I'm already doing a bit uneasy with the enlowering I'm currently on. I asked if they could delay it with one or two weeks since I feel I'm doing hard. 

I feel more negative and the people that probably scare me haunt me incredibly when they do when I'm like that. (Inside my head.) I feel the drain that's put on me more heavily now my medication is enlowered and I suspect it to become worse when they continue. It's not easy to have to enlower in such big steps. I'm shaking my head like crazy and it's hard to stop with it. I have shown it at de Boed and health care is informed. Aside from that, I do more hard on the inside right now.  

Today was for grocery shopping. I could afford everything, but it sure has become more expensive. I barely purchased any luxury other than what I would buy on a normal grocery day and why should I? It's a common week, after all. 

Today was an off-day for my looks. I put on my most comfortable summer skirt (One I better don't show at Utrecht Centraal.) and a plain blue t-shirt and flipflops, and I walked around with unshaved leggs. I feel better now I'm showered and washed my hair. I still haven't shaved my leggs like the entire summer. But I feel better to be shower-fresh and clean. Despite it being a crisis, I still try my best to be washed. It won't get any more exciting than that for looks. Sunday I looked gorgeous since I took effort and I felt a lot better about myself, today was an off-day and tomorrow I'm at least clean and washed. It's not one endless drama anymore with neglect like it was for some time but that's been for two days. Today was an endless drama off neglect for looks. Tomorrow is fine since I also blowdryed my hair this evening. It's promising. 

At this moment, I'm enjoying the rain and thunderstorm in silence, in my quiet bedroom late at night. It's such a relief when Autumn really begins and rain will flood the soil and rivers once more. It's been one hell off a drought. I love it to rain. Especially during such a hard summer. Rainy days require bakings. Autumn requires bakings and it's probably a good day tomorrow to see if I can make something nice with my self-selected cookiespices. Only a few months untill christmas, folks! I'm looking forward to a nice christmas period, old fashioned in style and ancient or not. Let's be glad our moms can still provide it (With our helps. I think it shows some sort off class to share costs with her if you can.). Let's try to find affordable ways to celebrate autumn and christmas this year. We can probably try by re-using stuff that's still on the shelves, like previous years' outfits or kitchenware we still have for holidays. Let's hope this will end well, and please realise you don't always have to pay the headprice for holidays. It's harder when you have kids- they probably almost demand new presents each year. I have no clue how to save on costs when you have kids since I think it's the duty off parents to provide them good stuff. If you don't have kids, saving money goes a lot easier. If you don't have young kids anymore, you could try to skip presents entirely. And just focus on a nice gathering with foods, family and atmosphere during christmas and we could use decorations we already have. And, let's do a christmas with those beloved classics- they are often less expensive than new stuff. Let's focus on what we do have and see what we still have instead off mourning over what we can't have. It's important not to let our spirits down by Russia and war politics and this is going to be a hard one, probably. - Everyone bales about the situation and that can't be helped. But we can decide how we react on situations and how we handle things. I hope I'm still positive after a few months off freezing, but let's give positivity a try despite it all. We still need to find light in our hearts, even in the darkest times and now I may sound like a cliché in a movie or a novell, but these days it's even more true than ever before. 

We should try not to let ourselves be down by Putin, and higher prices for this or that, but still be gratefull for the things we still do have and try to make the best out off the situation. 

I hope this encourages. I will try this myself the upcoming period. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.