Good morning at the 27th off September, 2022.

 Good morning everyone, 

Today is grey and rainy. It's your typicall autumn weather with lots off rain and puddles on the ground. 

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Yesterday I was thinking off a fan off this weblog and I believe it was delusional. At first he had a cute appearance, but then transformed into an Animaniac (From that TV show) and made me believe it was delusional, (I don't think Animaniacs read this weblog) despite I like the idea off fans off this weblog, not the ones in my delusions, but the real ones who read this blog. I appreciate you all, though I don't know if you excist. 

Aside a ton off nastyness I have to go through, I have to take it economical this month since I wish to safe money on my pay account. Groceries where expensive this week, And I have a limit to myself to which I'm allowed to spend money on fun things. I'm a bit over that limit so I have to be sober for these weeks. I'm common sensed with money most off the time. It's hard to safe with groceries being so expensive, but somehow I manage to do so despite it all though it goes slow. Healthy finances are important. My finances are healthy, but I wish to restore the limit I set myself on my pay account for now. Nobody has money nowadays, so if you manage to safe it, you are a true hero. 

I foresee the crisis to end some day. It might take a few years, but it will all be over once and Christmas won't hurt so much in our wallets anymore. But it can take five years from now before that happens. Nothing lasts forever, and so does this crisis. It just can feel incredibly long and heavy. I just hope the government can bear the costs for all that time. And things won't increase too much in price. This year we have to be sober and use our creativity to make something good out off winter, though. 

I don't have the chance to go shopping or make sweet treats for this period due to my foot. It's just very rainy instead off a cozy fall period but I truly feel gratefull it's the end off the drought off this summer. I'm not faking it when I say I'm really thankfull it rains. And my crankyness is fading. Nature needs this rain. I still love rain, despite it being rainy for quite some time now. 

Soon there will be three more cooking bibles out. The chicken bible, the dessert bible, (I have been looking forward to that one) and the grill bible. Aside to that I have set my mind on an applepie book. (I collect cookbooks for a hobby.) I have to set aside money for that. Three cookbooks, and they have all increased in price. I wish to complete the cooking bible series. And collect more cool cookbooks since it's fun to have them and to collect them. But it's a hobby which requires money. Preparing foods from those cookbooks also requires money nowadays. But I think it's a good idea to invite my caretakers for a home dinner and play restaurant with them. I haven't had guests for a home dinner for a long time since my friend who I did that with died. It's been two years now. I could try to re-open my home restaurant for guests. So to say, as long as I can afford the groceries for it. 

I can't also stand on my feet for too long for a baking. It's a waste off eggs which spoil in my refridgerator for me not baking these weeks, and people requesting it all the time. It sure is missed at de Boed for me to bake.

This month I keep up with my Wednesday Soup for two years. This week will be for an easy Dutch Vegetable soup, which everyone loves and which is a classic. I will try if I can stand on my feet that long in a kitchen so I can prepare soup again each Wednesday. I couldn't celebrate in the actuall week it's been two years, unfortunately. But it's been two years and Wednesday I'm going to try if I can still do it. I don't know if I have fans for this weblog, but I sure do have real life fans for my soup who keep on coming back each week especially for my soup. Which means I'm a good soup chef and it does incredibly good for people. Especially during a crisis. De Boed can be proud off it. It also gives my life more meaning if I can prepare fresh soup each week. Life has been seeming a bit meaningless these weeks. I had delusions telling me to go to a petting zoo to find chicks in spring, or make more home made cake, or take a good bite off an home made Dutch applepie and I would know why I live again. (I got positive delusions who have good ideas sometimes.) It's not spring yet, and I can't bake soon. The idea off fluffy yellow chicks made me happy, though. Petting zoos are often free, it might be a good idea to visit one. Preferably in spring. 

Spring is a bit far off. I should think off something to find the meaning off life more soon. I feel raisin pancakes come close to the meaning off life on the short term. With a lot off syrup. 

Medication change is going by allright as far as it goes. I'm tired more often and I feel bad in the evening during dinner time, But most off the time it goes well. By the end off the day I'm exhausted despite to have done little. I still got relationship delusions, about people gossiping about me and realy taring me down when they talk about me. I got the feeling there is truth in it, but sometimes I come up with people who don't excist and that's where it becomes truly delusional. I got that quite often. Lately I had a delusion about a next life in Ireland. Now I got the idea that won't excist. So I dropped it. I got it quite often to overthink how people talk about me and how mean they actually are. I'm probably right, but it's haunting me and makes me mad and that's the point where it's not allright but sincerely dangerous. 

I think I end this weblog here. It's been quite a lot. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.