Good evening everyone,
Today was sunny, warm, and a bit too hot for my liking.
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I'm on a medical cure to assure I'll get on my period.
I'm cranky and tired, and 'not in for it.' Today. I'm not social, I'm introverted and less talkative.
I had to look for distraction, so I decided to blog. What to blog about? I blog little these days, this previous year. It's not been much. I just think the internet is the same story over and over again sometimes, which bores at the moment. News websites are a bit cliché lately. As if everything repeats itself somehow. It's not that interesting anymore. 'I'm getting old, I've seen it all...'
Usually, weblogs are a perfect way to release anger and to let painted nails dry. I'm not angry, and my nails are just clean, clipped and filed. But I'm asked to seek distraction. My mind is overflowing with delusions, and stress. I had some strange nightmares lately. And those historical delusions. I happen to have delusions about the 19th century or the beginning off the 20th century all the time. And they're never historically correct, and the characters have never existed. My mind has had a few recently. Sometimes a few during the same week, and recently, it's been about ancient Germanics. In a hut, all covered in a thick layer off snow. It's been a bit much these days. But nothing terrible happened, it's just that regulair staff has been on summer vacation these weeks. Which works a bit distractive for my mind.
My head hurts from all that tension. I'm getting a bloodtest so they can see if I'm allright. And my blood values are still correct. I'm supposed to have one yearly. It's not my favourite part off being a psychiatric patient. It's been a bit much.
I have been stressed over the Ukraine war, and increased prices everywhere, and my concern about poor people. I worry a lot about the poor who struggle to come round, but most people tell 'to think off myself first.' these days. I should not worry about them. I can't change a thing about it, so it's not my concern. Truly, I have to think 'myself first.' at the moment, or I'm losing it. So I decided to let go for the biggest part. I can't help them.
And to lose my mind over it is a bit much. But it's worrysome. I think I already do. So let's quit that for my mental well-being sake. And I feel I'm a charlatan who can't even realistically foresee the weather.
At least I'm not broke, financially I'm getting by pretty well. But that's personal and I don't like to talk about it. People might come after me if they knew. It's due to bitter hard saving and well-thought out soberness, I can still cook meals. And do laundry wash with A-brands. For me personally, life goes by.
Allright, that's about it for now-
Thank you for reading.
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