Good evening at the 26th off November, 2020.

 Good evening everyone, 

I'm probably on front row to some famous vlogger war. I hear them exploding windows out outside. I heard two small explosions this evening. I hope they'll leave my house alone but go after each other instead. 

(Recently, people got after a famous vlogger living nearby this neighbourhood. They have been exploding the windows out off each others places like crazy, it's often in the news. All I can do is keep quiet and hope they'll pass by soon.) 

It's cold and gloomy weather in the Netherlands. Sinterklaas has entered the country in silence. There was no big show about it on TV this year due to Corona. It's seriously cold outside. I hope we'll get a dash off snow this year during winter. In this country, that's not always the case. 

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Medication enlowering doesn't take place as easy as hoped. I have to take it more slowly and they're planning on enlowering more slow than intended at first. I feel I have to talk through a lot before anything can happen, though I told psychiatric health care a lot this afternoon. It soothed to tell her. To tell everything relieved a lot. 

I got cured from Corona, this week was the first week I took on day to day life again but I decided on to take small steps and go forward easy going. I decided on to tackle my sleeping issues by going to bed later instead off trying to get to sleep too early. I have hallucinations about frêle blonde men wishing to actually take me to a comfortable home somewhere at a lakeside in some northern country. That's my heart's wish. To live comfortably ever after in some romantic surrounding somewhere abroad. Somehow it's getting a bit too much to handle, I should talk about this with health care and see what they can do about it. I bet my hallucinations aren't capable to actually build a life abroad, it's just distracting and silly. I should try keeping it from overwhelming me when I'm alone at home at night. It's not helpful to fall asleep with. It's even more off a thing getting emotionally attached to actual people in there who don't seem to excist. I supose I'm more lonesome and on the empty side off life than what's good for me.  

My guts are leaping up again and cause some stomach pain and other issues these weeks. I should drink way less coffee and watch my food again this month. I hope all off these gut issues don't turn out to be something seriously bad. It's not going to be easy to watch food in a festive season. Maybe I should take a road in between and see how I'll make it through. I wish to be capable to participate in most things. I hate the idea off having to watch my guts during december. It seems impossible so far. I should see how far I can get and then give it a better try in January, during diet month. That's probably a better idea.   

Next week, wednesday soup will take place again at de Boed. I decided to pick up my spoons again and give it my best again in de Boed's kitchen and cook for fellow patients every often. I believe since I have experienced it myself, I should continue my mission to feed them plenty off vegetables and hopefully keep the lot healthy. It's told by the Corona centre to everyone who gets it, to eat a lot off Vitamin C to strengthen your immune system. So it's officially approved off by the government. I heard my soup got missed by people at the time when I wasn't capable to make it. It's good to get compliments. 

I have a mission. I only allow myself to buy tons off new cookbooks (There are series out there which are addictive to collect all off them from) if I'm about to use them. I need about two new book cases if I'm willing to succeed in that mission. Some retards collect fantasy novels. Some people collect romantic novels and historic novels. Some collect walls off bookcases with manga, While other people just use bookcases as a showcase to decorations. It's just what you're up for. I can't wait to pile a few bookcases up with even more cookbooks. I only allow myself if I'm going to use them and cook receipes from them. 

Allright, that's about it for this evening. 

Thank you for reading.