Good afternoon at the 9th off October, 2021.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is cloudy and cold and I'm glad I took a sweater with me to my sleep over adress. I believe the entire winter might be cold and gloomy and that's how it's been all year this year. 

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I believe I don't have much to share with you today. I don't do exciting weekends most off the time, usually I just do whatever I already do during week days, except on some weekends I visit my family - like this weekend. 

My mom requested me to print a few off my self written poems. As she is a fan off my poetry. I fixed a document for her on Google documents and printed a few off them. Some include my shady sense off humor. I have the idea some pagan mothers will cringe over it- but that's no news to me and they're uptight and petite minded as can be, luckily my mom isn't so prude and boring. She appreciated the ones I wrote lately and combined in that document. I have no ambition to become a serious poet. I just write to relief my day every now and then and I post some off them on a poem website sometimes but my work isn't populair. It's always good to have your mom as your biggest fan on these things. I believe I won't bring it any further than that. 

When I was younger, I had the secret ambition to become a writer off fantasy novells- when I was about 13. I haven't set the ambition in true motion and most off my works won't fly and if I would have been published- I might have had to sell it as children's books. Most off it is destroyed however, and my ambition to write fiction has never become something serious I can make a living off. The way some people look at me nowadays in that nasty scene tells me I don't even have to try, or I have to take it to a nickname they never expect to be me and lay most in my publisher's hands. I don't know why I came up with that. I have ideas, I just don't have capabilities to write and most fantasy books are not my style off writing. 

It's never a good idea to brag over things you don't have accomplished, or try to make yourself bigger than you are. Sometimes you are just simple old you and that's what you have to accept before you get into the outside world. It's not hard when you love yourself but don't expect too much from yourself to be something special. I can colour, I can cook wonderfull, I can bake old people happy- but I can't set up a good fantasy novell. I picked up the fun off writing recently, though. But it's extremely modest and nothing pretentious. Sometimes it's good to keep on seeing yourself in the right light. I don't do much on ego dwelling. I don't know if I want to make my stories part off a world I broke up with and which never appreciated me much. I don't want to have anything to do with them cold and uptight bitches and dorks who broke me down so many times.  

There are so many books out there already- why would mine be more special than any other story? realistic thinking sometimes isn't so bad.  I believe I better keep it to myself and keep it a realistic succes than to make it fly.

I just like to use my imagination a bit every often and write things. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.