Mourning feels like it's over - as far as that goes.

 Good evening everyone, 

The sky is clear, the evening is cold. It's time for some silly story untold. 

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I had a long period off time, starting around 2018, where I was in mourning over things that happened in life and life in general. I somehow feel a bit better now. I don't know why. Probably something inside has caught up on me living a peacefull life in a safe home without a lot off trouble and finally understood it was done with all nastyness from behind years. It took me 4 years. 4 long years off getting over with that grief. I mourned and felt sad in general. 

It's clearing up inside my head when it comes to sad feelings. I have grown about 30 kilograms these years from both medication and loving to eat. Combined with depression (Food soothes.) it worked lame on my figure. 

I'm becomming vain again, or more to say: aware that I would like my face to be groomed and my body to be clean. It doesn't require make-up at all, but a face that's no longer at half point seven before I go out the door, and cleanliness is next to godliness- I believe in it again. I wish for something I don't have to be ashamed off and can show up with in public. Depression made me ignore hygiene but I wish to look and feel clean and taken care off again. I'm not going to make it a lifestyle to be unwashed. 

Today I helped with the dessert at dinner time at de Boed. They are no longer allowed to give us anything but yoghurt and fruit for dessert. It's up to them how to fill that in. I helped the person who made dessert by preparing applepie filling without sugar but sweetened with honey. It was a good dessert combined with yoghurt and as far as this goes, it requests more creativity from staff to make fruit and yoghurt a good match than 'vla.' or pre packed ice cream cones.. We had someone giving us Greek yoghurt with honey and walnuts for dessert- A beloved classic. I was a bit weary off the idea, but now I'm rather fond off the way people fill it in. Healthy yet tasty, I'm pro now. Today I baked them apples brought to taste with spices and honey in the oven and let them serve it with yoghurt for sunday dessert. (No sugar adjusted.) The entire building smelled amazing and it was a good idea. 

I have plans for a next 'level up.' But that probably requires expensive fruits I can make some sort off mosaic from. I've seen that idea somewhere: A woman cutting two shades off dragonfruit, mango and kiwi in almost cut teal like shards and dolling up tarts with it as if it where a mosaic. We could do something alike with our desserts. But as far as expensive goes- I just can think off 'peaches.' But I suppose they're out off season in October. 

Maybe baked plums out off the oven, or fruits brought to a point where they reveal juices to mix with the yoghurt when adjusted to a bowl would be a good idea. Stewed pears would be magical, but they're eaten here as a part off the main dish at times. I wonder if I'm allowed granola or muesli and build up a see through cup with layers off fruit, yoghurt and muesli for the idea off a parfait. So far, fresh peaches with a squeeze off honey would be perfect and to my personal taste. But I have to work with what's on hand now. I have the feeling yoghurt with fruit does well to everyone on diffrent levels, and is much better than ice cream cones all the time.  

Allright, that's about it- Thank you for reading.