It's something I found at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk among their colouring books, and I coloured it in with their pencils. Sometimes talent/ skills don't need expensive materials to work out well. I colour with what I can find at de Boed most off the time. I think it looks bright, lively and it has it's way with depth I always adjust to images like this. It's a fun way to spend an afternoon, and it helps while you have to deal with issues in psychiatric health. Like I have explained before. Mandala's and colouring books are everywhere at those places. They like to keep you buisy / set off your mind that way. Somehow it works, and along the way I became a bit more skilled in coulouring. (I'm in psychiatric health for 10 years next year.) I wrote my name on it so the image in that public colouring book was obviously mine and people understood I wanted to come back to it later. It's not very sensible to do so, but my work survived and I finished it.
I finished another work lately but that became runny (I used markers on it) since I spilled water on it. I'm not content with it either so I probably won't show you. It's been a pity waste to have been onto that.
Today was for walnut-coffee cake with the right amount off coffee in it, and not spoiled on the floor like with the previous one. I handed it out to de Boed and people loved it during coffee time. They always ask me to publish a cookbook, but I'd probably get in trouble with copyright for that. I just have my receipes from cookbooks and authors I don't want to fight with. I mainly don't come up with them myself, I only practice them pretty well most off the time. I don't have a picture off it, because it looked like my first attempt. I even served it on the same plate. It just tasted a bit more moist and coffee-like.
Like this.
My receipe comes from the book Masterclass Cakes- Rutger van den Broek
(In Dutch only)I should hand them (Those who request all the time) out where to find my receipes. I don't want to get in trouble for stealing.
Tomorrow is for grocery shopping. This week will be Halloween. It's not something old fashioned old people who are easily set off are fond off, so de Boed will probably let it pass in silence. It's never been a thing in the Netherlands untill recently. I wish to take note off it, however- I would like to bake something Halloween like and dress up as a pretty looking Witch for that day. I don't know how the others will react and I have to dig up my costume from moving boxes. I talked it over with staff and they thought it was fine with them to do something for Halloween so I moved some off the younger staff to do something with it.. I'm singing 'Halloween Halloween Halloween ween ween Halloween ween ween Halloween ween ween.' out loud in my own home all the time, and I feel like I want to do something with it. (To be continued.)
Mentally I could do better. I have side delusions most off the time in the evening just before medication and they often find me a bit on the mad side at the medication office. I believe I have a bit off a hand on myself as long as I notice. But it's hard and being tired makes it even harder to keep a hand on myself when it comes to mental problems. It's more easy to loose grip. I decided to take a whole Lorazepame again instead off skipping a half and trying to build off medication. It doesn't work for me to stay stable without medication these days. I don't know what my problem is. Maybe I'm just doing hard 'just because' these days. I have no clear reason for it. Life in autumn is cold and tiresome. It's nice and cozy but people's system have to work harder these months to keep on track. And then there is that stupid nasty feeling in my head which sometimes comes up and makes me dizzy with madness and then fades. 'something.' doesn't work well and it's hard to explain. (To staff. It's hard explaining them what exactly my problem is but it's a feeling inside my head close to some sort off a cramp.) I've had this for years and it's not easy living with it. I wish to grow at least 90 years off age, but sometimes it feels so hard I doubt I might live the next morning. It's hard to believe I might grow even 50 with it but I don't want to insist on scary things like that to my readers in every post as that is not nice to be pointed at all the time. I want to grow old, don't understand me wrong. My quality off life is still very good despite having this issue. It's still fun to be around. It's just not easy. It's probably uneasy to hear me complaining about this all the time but I have no other way to describe it: 'Hard in my head and it feels like I'm going to die.'
Tomorrow might be for more content,
Allright, that's about it-
Thank you for reading.
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