Good evening at the 29th off December, 2021.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is rainy and cloudy. It´s not freezing outside but everything´s said with that. It´s just as depressing as always. 

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I'm doing bad. 

I wasn't capable to make Wednesday Soup the reliable institute I intended it to be previous week, somewhere before christmas. I had to call it off since I have slept bad again. I sleep awfull these nights due to being afraid Corona might cause a civil war in this country. Riot seekers are keeping themselves calm and Omikron appears to be less bad than what they thought, but what happened this year is enough to let it get the best off me these weeks. 

The manager off de Boed confirmed me they had enough cookies left over from christmas and it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I wasn't capable to bake some for them these weeks due to mental issues. Wednesday Soup will be announced on Thursday due to it. So to say, so I'm not capable to do my hobby due to issues. I decided today during my evening walk around the block it might do good for me to actually make it, cooking works well for my nerves most off the time and they'll be thankfull if I do so. I hope I sleep well this night. It was 2.30 A.M again before I could go to bed previous night. I'm not the every day hero I want to be when I'm like that. 

Some time ago I decided that is what 'Starlight.' Actually stands for. It's not the evil brat from the Vana Events forum, it's not the slut they want to adress me. 

It's my super hero form, the woman who cooks and bakes for everyone, who takes notes for meetings, who tries her best every day in psychiatric health and who isn't afraid to stand for what she thinks is right. The one who inspires people. I'm proud to do so and it's with aware intention I try to make the best off life every day, and I'm the one who isn't afraid to kick Mark van der Stelt for his ass when he has done wrong. No matter how desperate they want to scapegoat me each time about it. Sometimes it's best to stand for what you think instead off being a following sheep in a herd that has it's own bad  restrictions. But acting like Starlight is mainly about every day good, and just a bit better than that. I'm not overly social, but I have good actions I do for people and that's what it's about.   

Be brave, be honest, do the right thing- Always. 

Now, that's mainly what I'm trying to do here. These days when Corona, or mainly it's crisis, hits hard, I'm frightned for riot seekers and the country going mad due to restrictions. I'm not even afraid off Corona itself since I have survived that. I'm afraid off people's short fuse these days. I'm afraid the police or the army can't stand them when they really wish to do harm. Some idea in my mind says I'm rather down and out before the crisis ends when I'm all gucko like this about it and that's not a good idea. Somehow my common sense refuses to listen to it. 

When I'm like this, I'm mainly inside my home most time off the day and at it's highest point at afternoon coffee time at de Boed untill after dinner, then having my daily walk and then returning home untill medication time. Oh dear, I act like a client these days. This is what most clients do, and that's what this institute is for. Helping the mental, and unfortunately- I am one. I need to be taken care off these days. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.