Good evening everyone,
Today has been forecasted as a nice day off spring. - but it was cloudy and almost depressing today, and a lot colder than what they had predicted half a week ago. I felt a bit upset by it. I wasn´t feeling utterly bad, but still a bit dissapointed in the weather. They said it was because off Sahara dust flying all up untill into our country and causing the weather to be cloudy and the sky a bit orange. Sometimes that happens. And then again it was more cold and even a bit rainy at the end off the day. Such incidents.
Today was also for voting our city counsils. I hope the left will finally grow back again and be capable to form a true fist against national socialism trying to scoop this country over and cause agression, polarisation and unfriction off society as a whole. It´s none or less their fault this society has gone to fail and decepts a lot off people according to some. The left has a world to win. Usually I went with the Socialistic Party, but they have been making stupid mistakes and a lot off cool people have ended their SP membership. It´s a hard one for me since I have been standing up with them for better health care, taking part in protest marches and political actions for them. I believed in something that didn´t last in the end.
I´m thinking off ending my membership with them either. I believed they had it in them to turn the tide and prevent the country from going downward so much if they had made the right choices and wheren´t so corrupt themselves. Dissapointment numbers are increasing this evening. Ah, well. Up to the main blog.
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Life is not easy at this moment for me. I am literally fighting a medicine change that costs me entire mornings in bed with a terrible hurt head, not being capable to do things at all the entire day. I take my medication, have two cups off coffee at de Boed and then go straight back to bed untill coffee time in the afternoon. I head there again for two more cups off coffee and waiting untill dinner and then go home untill I have to get my medication again. Most off the time I lay in bed all day feeling sick as a dog but they say I have to make it through this stage off switching. It feels as if I'm fighting it on the edge off death or alive sometimes. It's the hardest I've been through in years. I barely care about Ukraine since I'm fighting my personal disease as much as this. Doesn't mean I'm ignorant about the situation as I follow the news when I'm capable to (It doesn't even frighten me anymore when I compare it with my personal situation. The hurt in my head is that big) but I have more important issues to face at this moment.
Life is tough, my darling- but so are you.
Hopefully I am, a short period before this, I was afraid off a nuclear war since Putin invaded Ukraine. But since my mental situation got worsened, I have my hands full off this. Today seemed optimistic. Yesterday I felt de Boed was too crowded and I had to take a break after afternoon coffee before dinner. But today I made it there the entire time and could have chats and support from people there and sit in the main hall. Most things seem to have faded to the background compared to what I'm facing these days. Doctor, my foot doesn't hurt so much since you stepped on the other foot- that way off curing it. It's strange enough a bit calming in the evening when everything is done and you realize the hurt you've been through mended other things to the background. I don't know how this is going to affect me in the long term, trauma upon trauma. I have never been so wobbly and frightened for myself before and I suppose I can't take much more after this.
I have no 'uitlaatklep.' in baking for de Boed and serving their afternoon coffee on saturday anymore these weeks since baking seems a bit too hard. Even that is too hard at this moment.
Allright, that´s about it-
Thank you for reading.
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