Good afternoon at the 29th off March, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today started cloudy, but it ended up sunny for this moment. There was a promising off hail storms and even wet snow for this week- but as far as that goes, I see nothing. (I decided to keep up with the weather forecast, though they're not always accurate) But this isn't the end off the week yet. 

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Today was for re-trying my new baking mold. At the first try, a cake didn't come out completely but I refused to give up on it so I dusted it a bit better with flour and then rolled with it. The shape off this mold makes my cake a bit more square and firm compared to the previous one. 

It's my proven receipe for quark cake with dried prunes and golden raisins. Topped with icing sugar. I didn't flour my mold that good. Haha. Tomorrow it will be handed out to de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk to go with their afternoon coffee moment. It's good to give in my opinion, and to bake. I feel a bit better about life in general when I can bake. 

Today is for a day off. I needed a day off from de Boed to bake, do some dishes and sleep in a bit. I felt a bit tired from going to de Boed all the time and I needed some space, so I took it. Tomorrow will be for soup making and handing out my cake. I can even say I've done some dishes today as I'm usually more lazy when it comes to washing up and let it leaping up err, quite big. But aside to baking came the urge to do them. I'm probably thankfull to myself as I've put everything in my cupboards when it's all dry. (I'm not good at the household. I'm lazy when it comes to that.)

I do better than I did a few weeks ago. I'm in the last week off medicine change and so far, I'm climbing up a bit from feeling terrible. I had an attack yesterday, it was the second one in two weeks. My mind breaks an cringes over certain subjects I'm probably frightned off without wishing it to be, but I came over it twice and I can say the new medication makes me feel good. Although it probably doesn't cover everything. I was one hell off scared as my mind broke down and the feeling off being under a Witch's attack hurt me massively. (I'm interested in the subject off Paganism and Wicca, so I know what it truly contains. It's just that it always is as if there is some jealouse witch after me trying to break me down with dark magic. It's jealousy, or not wishing to accept my interest in their subject as people are 'like that.' I can't say it any other way than how I experience it.) 

It came after reading a book about wicca in the kitchen and practicing magic in the kitchen by Lisa Chamberlain. Both wicca and kitchen magic have my interest so I bought this book some time ago. I know the pagan community can be a rathouse when it comes to treating other people, but I wanted to read that book for myself, though something started to cringe in me after I finished it. As if I was under someone's nasty attack. You'd probably understand I don't trust pagans very much anymore, let alone the scene who visits events. They have treated me with more disrespect than I have ever treated them, and I'm serious about this. I think I should be weary with the subject, as it triggers 'something.' nasty in me. 

Though I wish to read more from Lisa Chamberlain. A renowed author from wiccan books. It's a bit double sided, though I don't want to have this 'under attack' feeling for entire evenings after finishing her works. It's not good. Probably something personal, but I felt so bad after finishing that book, I should be on my guard. It's nasty to say I should be on my guard for a religion that claims to be peacefull, but there have happened a lot off things towards me from them and it didn't feel always nice to try with them. I think it's not just been me. But foribiding me to read something on the subject goes a bit far in my opinion. Treating me with respect is probably asked for too much from some. And who knows I have always been a nice witch without anyone taking count off that possibility. I was interested, otherwise I would have never entered their events and their information and I still use semi-gemstones, candles and incense and most off all: My intuition. 

But most refused to accept me and be nice to me in return after fighting with Vana Events. But Vana is no saint either and I believe mutual respect is a key ingredient for every good understanding with people. I rather feel the need to let everything go and go my own way, instead off trying again and again and stepping on some sensitive toes again. I don't like them that much. Let's keep it at that. I'm glad I will never go there again as it didn't feel good anymore. Vana should watch their own behaviour more and look into their own direction more before pointing things out to me. It's not easy for some, but I believe it will do better for this entire situation if they would stick their hands in their own bossoms more before going after me. But I don't have to accept their bullshit. I'm free to go if they're not to my liking anymore. 

 

 Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.