Good evening at the 27th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Welcome at my 500th weblog so far! I don't know how I made it to here, but it's almost worthit a celebration. 500 weblogs ever since 2018! 

Today has been cold and sunny. It's been beautifull but ice cold. 

*

Today has been for Monday Grocery shopping with the Leviaan grocery van. Usually that's pretty boring. But today I didn't mind. It went well. 

Tomorrow I do have a way to celebrate my 500th weblog. It's not been my intention when making these, it's just been having to use old banana's before they went spoiled, and an act off rebellion against Russia. Just like British women during WWII, I wanted to be as stable and solid as a rock and not being disrupted by the war. I took that as an example and I made two banana cakes for tomorrow afternoon with our coffee: 

I don't let my good spirits being disrupted by the Russians, it's a statement against the crisis, it's for de Boed so they have something good with their afternoon coffee (Instead off the boring cookies they usually put us up with. I told you I should practice gratitude better. But usually de Boed has plain and boring cookies with their afternoon coffee. A way for them to safe money these days, probably.)

One came out beautifully, and the other one came out messed up. But I suppose people don't mind once it's served in slices on a pastry plate. They're an act off rebellion against Russia and a way to use up old banana's and cheer up a boring tuesday. And now they're the perfect way to celebrate my 500th weblog, but I didn't have that one thought out untill now. People are probably going to be very happy with their cake tomorrow. If something has several reasons, it's probably a good thing. Most ingredients I had in my cupboards for this. It's a massive crisis, but I have been thinking ahead and hamstering some stuff for baking. 

I still don't have the money back from my hospital adventure, so I'm afraid I have to take it sober too tomorrow. I'm glad I can have cake too with my fellow clients and de Boed's staff. Who knows tomorrow is going to be a good day. It's at least promising for afternoon coffee time. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good morning at the 26th off February, 2023.

 Good morning everyone, 

This morning the sun is out to be bright, beautifull, and ice cold. It's gorgeous outside but it's freezingly cold. 

*

Yesterday, and this entire weekend, was for a bit off searching for cookbooks on Bol.com, the country's biggerst known website for whatever you can need. 

I found a few cool cookbooks, by Regula Ysewijn. Two works about British baking, and one about traditional baking from these countries. 

I was like: Oh, damn. What have I stumbled upon? I just have to have these. Since my hobby is collecting cookbooks and they look like everything I want in a cookbook and if only for the cover images. (And what's in it: British baking and food history and something about our own food history) The cooking bible series also comes out with a few new works. Which is something really exciting to look forward to this year. They haven't been published yet, but they are already displayed at Bol.com. As you might know, I have a shelve full with cooking bibles. So I just have to adapt the new editions to my collection. 

They come out with a baking tray bible, and a diffrent version off the salad bible. They already have a salad bible, but this one's written by a diffrent author. So I expect it to be slightly diffrent. 

They're not out yet, but they're still to come. 

I'm afraid I can't afford purchasing these all at once. So I have to take on it in small steps and purchase them one by one, once I have money for them. I think I will be so glad once I completed. But that's the fun off collecting: Small steps, and not everything at once preferably. That keeps it fun to be still 'on the hunt.' for collectibles. But that's my opinion.  

Today will be for returning home after a scrumptious sunday morning breakfast. Challenge off next week: Asking back the money for the cab and breakfast from my accountant. I think it won't be a problem. I would be relieved once it's back on my bank account. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

  

Good evening at the 24th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today it's cold, grey, cloudy and misty outside. There was even rain in the morning. 

*

Warning: this blog is about something medical. 

This morning was for visiting the hospital since I had to go for a bloodtest. I have been  feeling bad for a bit more than a week and I wanted to examine if there was anything wrong in my blood. 

There has been a public transport strike, so I had to go by cab. It's been a pretty expensive drive. Just like breakfast at the hospital restaurant. But I had to go pricking completely sober. So I was not allowed to eat before the bloodtest. I took a cab to the station when I was finished and then went to the station for the train to my mother's home. 

It's time for visit after a while off absence. I needed to visit mom and the family for this weekend and I bought her roses before arriving here. Today has been one hell off pricey. Sometimes I think life is after robbing you somehow these days. But what's needed is needed sometimes. We have to go to the hospital sometimes, and we are not alone in this world. So a gift is a necessity at times. (As long as you can afford.) Despite the times being expensive. 

This morning the meadows on the way to mom's place where all foggy and gloomy. It had something mystic almost to see the mist hanging over the fields. Something dark and spooky somehow. As far as I could see from out the train's window. This morning has been a small adventure. 

Next week I will discuss the test results with the mental health nurse. I have been really sick. But I had no fever, or high bloodplessure so I had to enclose something worse with that test. Like medicine or hormone levels. 

I'm glad I took it sober with my extra money this month, so I could afford everything today. I thought: 'Let's not spend it all at once, just because you never know something might happen.' And today is the perfect example off a thing called intuition working for me these months. The money I haven't spend on clothes was spend on an emergency. 

I would recommend this to everyone: Keep money behind for things like this. It's a crisis but we're human after all. So things might happen to us which require extra and high costs. Be certain to be capable to have emergencies covered when they occure. Don't spend money all at once. Better safe than sorry.

So now it's relaxing at my mom's home for this weekend. She appreciated the flowers. 

Somehow I hope the bloodtest was good for something and does what it needs to: examin whether something is wrong in my blood, or not so I have to keep searching. I have to say I have been feeling better ever since Thursday with my health. So I hope it's been nevertless usefull. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

 

Good evening at the 20th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is windy and cloudy outside. You could call it almost stormy. 

*

Today some sort off gloom has come over me. I don't know what it is, but after a weekend off struggling with my health, I feel all dark and down and negative today. And Monday already isn't my favourite day off the week. Still it has to happen every week to go grocery shopping in the grocery shopping van. 

This weekend I felt terrible. I have been feeling bad ever since Wednesday. I had no condition to walk to Koogerpark like I would have love to on Tuesday, and all because an emergency medication on Monday. So I have been feeling bad ever since last week. Though last week I felt more positive about life and enjoyed fun things more, despite the attacks. That's a few steps backward on the ladder. I don't know what happened today why this negativity has come over me so badly. Maybe a side effect to feeling so bad last week. I should contact my health care about it. I don't know if it's part off it. 

This weekend was for trying a package off cake from the Dutch brand Koopmans: 

The coloured sprinkles where my own adjustment. I wanted to see how it tasted. I shared it at de Boed, a small community centre in Zaandijk, for their Sunday coffee moment and it was delicious. People loved it and I loved it. I love baking and it's always good to try things like limited editions to see how it tastes. Usually I work from scratch, but this package I couldn't resist. 

This is the year off the rabbit. The Chinese year off the rabbit so to say. I have visions off rabbits and what they want for this year, they unite in front off my altair and I kinda hear what these cute bunnies want to tell me: They are into sharing. Collective stuff for everyone. Especially in these expensive times, the rabbit supports initiatives that are ment to support everyone for as cheap as possible. Like free coffee at de Boed, and going to the swimming pool on government support, cheap lemonade glasses in the supermarket for everyone (They seemed like good quality, so I couldn't resist.) And you get a price in the year off the sheep for sharing if you decide to start such an innitiative in your own life. I wish to go up for the price off cookie & cake sharer. I can share home made cookies and cake with people for free. So, Cheap innitiatives for as cheap as possible, and preferably free. What I said are examples from my own life, but I wish for the audience to see how they can adapt sharing into their lives. As cheap as possible. I got in a fight with the rabbit-feeling when it told me to share my closet and tableware more with the audience. I'm proud off my items. Closet and fancy tableware, so I'm not into sharing that. 

Though I believe sharing is a good idea. We are not alone in this world and if you can, you can help people make it through this crisis. I had the fun idea to support my locals and puchase more small items from the few local shops we have in the area, to support them and the Zaanish economy. Zaanstad is as poor as can be. A lot off places and streets are old, bad maintained and shabby. I believe they can use my help. Not to all costs, I have to protect myself and not overspend, as that's not the intention here. But purchasing small items which are a good deal in my eyes, help me and them making it through a crisis. And it's fun as long as I can. Support your locals! 

But that's my personal idea. Supporting your locals. The rabbit told me they are for sharing and initiatives for the collective needs off the audience. That does not necessairily mean shoping at local stores. But sharing items and foods as good as you can and I love the idea. If we would adapt a middle eastern mindset, and share among each other, we stand much stronger than when we would live just for ourselves and take it completely anti-social. But that's how I see it and how I would love to see it in society. 

But I should not fall for the trap some people who call themselves a fortune teller fall into: Stinking naiveness. This crisis is dark, people are egocentric and the trouble will only deepen and darken. I wish to believe in sharing. I do so myself and I would like to see everyone sharing. Laundry wash from multipacks, toothpaste, a plate off food- whatever you can miss to someone. But I also know mankind by now and despite the idea being good, I got a hard head in it. Though the rabbit is a soft zodiac sign with modest intentions and a sensitive spirit. It's ment well to mankind this year. 

Now it's up to us. 

Good evening at the 15th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today the weather was sunny and bright and there was a Spring feeling in the air. 

*

I have a warning I wish to share with all off you. Don't be shocked: 

The crisis will deepen. There will be a point where vegetables will be incredibly expensive, and probably not available at all. Not even a rich household can serve them on their plate and it's because off the drought that will be this or one off these summers, and it can hold on untill winter there will be no vegetables, and most people can only eat bread for dinner. I'm sorry to say. 

And it's best to repeat it again: Pluto in Aquarius is coming upon us, but I have the idea we shouldn't expect technological development the way it's promised to us. Be warned for dissapointment in that field. I don't know if I should come back from the 50's prediction, since that somehow seems a bit extreme to me. But you never know nowadays, as I've learned the weirdest visions often have the power to come true. 

You might say that I'm a doom thinker, but my foresights can be accurate at time.

So aside from freezing in winter, as we can expect, people will be hungry and underfed aswell. Be deeply aware is all I can say. I'm sorry to say this but at least I can say I did my duty when it comes true. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good evening at the 13th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today is bright and sunny but still cold. Still it's a beautifull day with spring in the air. 

*

Today was for grocery shopping and decorating cupcakes for an activity in the morning at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. I ate one, and decorated about 6. I was allowed to eat one, and then donated 5 to their coffee moment. They had it for an activity for valentine's day. Usually they don't have anything interesting going on on Monday morning after coffee, but this morning was fun and cozy with my fellow clients. I think I made a few people happy with a nicely decorated cupcake this afternoon. 

Except for grocery shopping, my day was pretty boring. Sometimes that has to happen, too. The boring yet functional days where we have to set ourselves to the usefull stuff. Spring is in the air. Maybe it will break through this week, and it really is a good idea to store sweaters for next winter. 

Yesterday I had the brilliant idea to send Vana Events a letter. I'm somewhat flipping over what might happen when they read it and the consequences they might perform due to it. It's not good for my mental health and I suffer from it. Still I thought it was worthit to send it. This is a free country after all and I wanted to give them a piece off my mind about some things. I'm crawling back from it, seeing how much damage this fear does to my mental heatlth, and since Vana are respectless biggots, I know I can't expect anything back. Something in me says: 'It's still Vana Events, and it's still a shit driven organisation.' So I think the outcome won't be good and it's been doing damage to me ever since yesterday afternoon. Such tossing and turning and at night I could only sleep after 2.30 AM. The terror. I really shouldn't seek contact with them anymore. Since they're the worst for my mental health. I'm losing it over that letter, and they don't take my feelings serious in this. That is scandalous on it's own. Vana Events is one big shithole and I shouldn't have contacted them, since they respectlessly never respond to anything off me. 

But I gave them a piece off my mind, and if I wouldn't be losing it over it, it was almost worthit. But it's terrible to have done so. I die a thousand deaths today. Though most people only see the outside struggle without knowing what's going on the inside. It takes that much off me. Vana has always been the wrong doer in this case. Most off the time I also have that death frigtned feeling over weblogs I wrote about them. I'm frightfull about Vana, still I feel the urge to speak my mind and not let myself being oppressed in a free country. Vana should take it. 

Today my imagination went to a container ship, stuck at sea during a cold and unruly February month. The crew and the captain just can't wait to arrive in Rotterdam harbor and deliver the goods packed on the ship, but it's cold at sea and they still have some days to go. They're stuck at sea, despite some springvibes being in the air today. And tomorrow it's Valentine's day and one off the sailor writes a message to his sweetheart. An old-fashioned love letter, but it won't have a chance to be send untill they're at a harbor. A device like a smartphone can easily send a message in time. But that's not romantic and this is supposed to be old fashioned and romantic, yet harsh. (Like being here on Gortershof in boring Zaandijk is harsh and endless for me.) But being stuck at sea during Valentine's day while you have a sweetheart waiting at home probably is a bit harder. 

I don't have a sweetheart. I'm 30 years old, but I never had a Valentine's day gift in my entire life. Valentine's day is probably for pretty girls who behave well and sexy. For me it's just the same boring old song like every day. But somehow I choose for it. I don't want to adapt myself to a man, so I'm still single. It comes with the pros that you can say and act as you please, without having to take count off what a man wants. I don't have to spend money on looking pretty, or eat less food in order to fit his gaze. I can go to war with Vana Events whenever I please without having to take it less for a man. I can speak my mind if I want to. My house is a mess and I'm in mental health care. I can do as I please. It's been the reason not to go after feelings in the first place. I don't know what I miss out on, but I also miss out on a lot off damage. Men are not my main purpose in life. But I would have liked a sweetheart this Valentine's day to romance with all day. Just like any girl. But it just did never happen and it seems like it's not ment for me. At February the 15th, I'm probably fine with it again. 

Maybe I will go for a cappuccino and some chocolates at the local chocolate shop tomorrow, still to have a little Valentine's day myself. On Wednesday there will be fresh soup again from my hand for the broken heart's club at de Boed, mainly consisting off poor and old fellow clients who don't have a Valentine's day either. A day like Valentine's is cruel for some people when you look at it. But if we would abolish it entirely, we could abolish all holidays so the poor and lonesome won't cut themselves open to it. Luckily most see it as stupid commercialism. But I can't help thinking I'm about to bale about it tomorrow. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

  

Good evening at the 10th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

This evening the sky is cloudy, dark and rainy. It's pretty depressing ATM. 

*

There has been something on my mind these months. In the newspaper they spoke off economic standstill. It means in the entire European Union, the economic growth has been 0,1 plus or 0,1 minus due to the war in Ukraine. It kinda triggered me into thinking 'With standstill comes stagnation, which means there is probably no space for improvement and fun things next year.' I think that's a bad thing. No space for development, whetheter it be creative and artistic, in the field off science and education or health. No money means no money and that sucks. I think it's always such a good thing when the world improves as good as possible. 

We can re-work with what we still got, see how far we can get by re-using classics and keep on doing the same thing over and over but then slighly better, but a little improvement and a little investment would help us much further than re-working the old all the time. But I'm afraid re-working the old is the reality off today in modern Europe. As long as we keep on being buisy, there is no space for personal stagnation, and a material downfall can mean mental improvement and people being more gratefull for what they have, I agree. 

But I would love to see a little more improvement, more opportunities to try harder, and more creativity to satisfy our mortal souls. Not a standstill that will probably last a few years. I'm someone who agrees the world can do perfectly with less materialism, and spoiled brats should be more confinced with what they got instead off whining over the latest fashion and smartphones. But no growth at all? That should not be and isn't good for anyone. People are born to explore and improve themselves each time.  

I felt a bit upset about that news and I still feel upset about it. I hope this year won't be one off even more standstill for the continent. But I shouldn't expect that. I think I better go with 'As long as we keep ourselves buisy with what we still got, there is no space for true stagnation.' And maybe we will grow somehow, after all. 

Good evening at the 9th off February, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's been cold and grey outside today. The previous days have been more sunny. 

*

Today I decided I wanted to repair my closet. It's been broken for several years but I have been slacking in repairing the stupid (Cheap ass) thing. Untill today. today I had a clear vieuw in mind where I needed the clothing rack that has been on the floor for so much time. I went to the thriftshop, but they didn't have the part that was broken. I had to take a long walk to the do-it-yourself store pretty far off. The bus is having a strike the entire week so I had to go on foot. I paid pretty much for the parts. Luckily I have been arranging an emergency fund for broken parts. Every time when I had 1 or 2 euro's left, I put it in a saving tin so when something is broken, or when I need to buy things like poststamps or screws, it can be done with that money. (I'm smart with money.) 

It was pretty much off a walk. From my home to Gamma's near the viaduct. Or maybe I'm just in bad condition for being lazy all the time. Fortunately, Gamma's had everything and I think it's quite handy to have one on walking distance. It's less fortunate for it to be pricey. But that's where the emergency fund comes in handy. (Lesson in here folks: Be sure to have some money left in case something in your home decides to break.) Despite the rack to be on the floor for so much time, today I had the windfall on my mind to do something about it. And the screws I bought are probably fit to repair a broken knob on my TV closet aswell. My home isn't rich and I don't have the money for new stuff, but at least it's not broken anymore after I repaired my furniture. 

I need the clothing rack to store my sweaters. I decided to re-wear them next year. Especially when prices keep on being this ridiculously high, I'm going to need to wear them again next year instead off buying new. But they take up some space on my shelves. I had that vieuw pretty clear on my mind today. So I had to move my ass to save it up next year. (Lesson in here: It's a crisis out there, so safe up your clothes this year so you can wear 'em again next year.)  

Aside to buying equipment from the do-it-yourself store, today was for sharing home made cookies with de Boed. Yesterday I felt fed up and almost agressive. But instead off speaking my mind to the person I held those feelings for and calling him a faggot, I decided on cookie baking. 

  

Buddha saved me this time. I had the feeling as a new learning Buddhist, hungry for eastern wisdom, I better don't perform out on acts off violence or bullying. Not even when delusional anger hits me. So I made these to leave the subject off my anger alone and keep myself from spilling karma points. AND the audience to de Boed's music afternoon loved them. They kept on complimenting me on them. So it's win-win. Instead off spoiling karma, I probably gained it. I love Buddha. I didn't make a complete fool out off myself yesterday and I did something good. Buddhism saved my soul, and many other things yesterday. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.