Good afternoon at the 3th off December, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's ice cold outside with a forecast off snow. 

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This week will be Sinterklaas. I have been gritting my teeth all Sinterklaas period, because I thought the cookies and candies where too expensive this year. Sinterklaas has better treats than Santa Claus in my opinion. But it was just too much for now. Just like my fellow clients who where doing hard affording it. Why would you buy random strangers a Christmas gift, while you can't afford a bag off holiday treats, you might ask. 

It's because I'm a nice person and I somehow still believe in a better world. Despite the world around me being selfish and harsh. And people being complete childish dicks about it. Maybe I could have better purchased something tasty for myself. But I kept to my grocery budget and the extra money was spend on Christmas luxurious cosmetics this year. And on small gifts for the give away closet down the hall. But this week I'm thinking about purchasing chocolate kruidnoten. My all time favourite, but I just haven't had any this year yet. I think I deserve them. A big bag off them. Because I have been a good girl to others this year. Other than that, I have been quite sober. I got some Sinterklaas treats from mom, and they're kept untill December 5th. The supermarket was that expensive with other treats.

My own biggest gift this year, will be a bottle off The Body Shop Vanilla Pumpkin showergel for the give away closet down the hall. So Sinterklaas excists the 5th off December for the person who finds it. Other than that, there will be a Sinterklaas party held that day at de Boed, but usually I think off these as quite crowded and a bit annoying. So I don't have much to do with it this year. 

I don't even have friends to celebrate it with. I'm afraid it's going to be lonesome. Just like for a lot off other lonely people. 

My head hurts these days. It's as if my brain is about to be squeezed out somehow. It cramps, something is off, and I feel something inside that irritates and I can't quite get the hand on it. MRI has shown, there's nothing wrong on the inside when it comes to visible physicall matters. There's nothing to see on the MRI- scan they recently made. But it hurts and it irritates and it wrecks and squeezes me, and everything feels like it's too much. I can sit on the couch and write. That's what I can do these days. Other than that, a lot outside this terrain is too much. Sometimes I get to town to shop a bit and have coffee, but Zaandam is not a big place to walk around, it's agreeable to be there when I feel a bit better. Item shopping, mentioning trends and what people wear, having coffee, fun stuff. 

But this week I'm off service, I don't feel well today. I have been thinking to stop following fashion and trends. It was fun for a while, but my own style allures more this time. Real style never goes out off fashion according to the saying. There's nothing wrong with following your own style, as long as you're clean and fresh. It's important to be washed. Other than that, people should see for themselves. That's what we live in a free country for. 

My head feels so painfull and heavy at this moment... it's a burden. It's a lot off pain. And I don't know what to do about it. Just stay on my feet and go on. Other than that I have no choice... 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.