Good evening at the 29th off October, 2023. 2.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was grey, rainy and cold. Only a few rays off sun in the late morning. 

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I don't know who else has this problem, it's just with everything that surrounds us, I have such issues with trusting mankind. It's as if I can't have mercy with my enemies anymore, no more pity with others as much as I used to, and woe if I start to enlow myself on behave off someone else. It's like nowadays I'm in survival mode due to the crisis and the war. Usually I live with other people and it's a sense I feel in my heart. (Not to mock you or sound too sweet, but it was true.) 

These days, everything is so dark, I somehow lost faith in mankind and I feel less willing to help others and stand by them. Instead off donating laundry wash and softner for everyone, it was just a bottle off each for a friend, and the rest off it was for me and me only and is stored in my storage room. I'm talking about the Robijn Zwitsal I was planning for Sinterklaas. But de Boed has handled another package off more ordinairy Robijn softner so retarded and stupid, I'm not willing to donate anything to them anymore. Due to a conflict, it's just one bottle off each multipack to the give away closet down the hall and one off each to my friend. And the give away shop can forget about it.

It's so dark sometimes how people handle things, and my goodness in general. I don't know if it's good to work with my elbows a bit more, but on the other hand, I'm good untill St. Juttemas with laundry wash and softner for a very long time now. Maybe I should keep it at that and not stick my head above the cornfield anymore and donate. It's as if de Boed doesn't know how to handle it anymore with such donations. Let's simply not do that anymore. No matter how shiny their eyes are when requesting it. My friend requested, she got it in person. Not everyone anymore. 

On the other hand, it's perfect in a crisis year for stupid old me, always low on money and living on governmental wage and luck. Let's keep the whole thing and smell divine next year. On top off all the stuff that's in the storage room. It's a bit selfish, but I think it's a good idea. Though sometimes I'm still a bit soft and high in my head. Today was for donating lavender shower foam and body butter from storage down the hall. One package each, but the person to have found it is lucky this month. 

Mankind... It's not due to the conflict with the give away shop I lost faith. It's just crisis and war in the news, and people grow more poor each day here. We're a bunch off strange old cowboys here in the poor area off the north west off the Netherlands. I don't expect the crisis to be over soon. We're going to have to handle it a few more years. Despite everything. It's hard. I'm not the only one here gritting her teeth. I wish it was over soon, and things would go back to normal for everyone. Especially for poor people like us. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.