Good afternoon at the 2nd off August, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

It's cloudy yet warm in the Netherlands. This morning I was in the sun for 15 minutes and then had to go out off it because off a danger for a sunburn (My skin is that sensitive) but now it's cloudy and it's damp and stuffy outside. I wish it would rain for two weeks in a row. So the drought can be solved. 

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Tonight I slept well. Probably thanks to a bit extra medication. I have slept bad for two nights, and this night was finally a good night. 

It's Lugnasadh today. A pagan celebration to the grain harvest. Traditionally seen, you should bake a bread but it leaves me puzzled since I'm not capable to bake a yummy bread. I simply don't know how to do so. So I just had bread from the supermarket this morning. I'm not even going to bake cookies. Not because I don't respect it. People have accused me a lot off not respecting paganism, but that's not true. It's simply because the 5th is my birthday and I'm going to make de Boed three quark tarts for that day, and I will celebrate my birthday with family the 6th. I have a few celebrations this period and it's a bit much to do something today. I already made some space in my refridgirator for all those quark tarts. But the gods probably prefer a bread, or a grain cookie and a ritual to go with it. Usually I have the idea the gods off prosperity are on my side. Despite not celebrating their day their way. Usually I have enough and even more than what I need for a lot off things. I don't have money and I am not rich, but I have a good quality off living. I could be gratefull over that. Lugnasadh is also a time to be gratefull for what goes well. The food here is often a practice in gratitude since it's more off an alms most off the time than a festive meal. But my standard off living, despite it being very small, is a good one. I don't have much, but what I have is good. As long as I take it sober in general, I can afford. I have done it sober my entire life and I always have been poor. So what I have now is not so bad as long as I don't lose my head and go overboard with money. - But that's not likely to happen. I don't smoke, I don't drink expensive bottles off alcohol, I don't gamble, I don't have sex, I don't do drugs. I don't have a family to feed. I spend money on fun posessions and good quality laundry wash on a discount. 

I can be gratefull I'm wealthy on a small scale and I rather have this than a mocking husband who over-complains about life and does nothing to solve issues himself. (I don't even have a husband. I don't owe explainations on spending my money on fun things.) I can also take it very sober after my birthday period without an explaination to anyone because we went to a pancake restaurant. But let's await the celebration first. I have money from gifts from my family I wish to spend on it. I saved it up and that's what I use it for this year. I don't know if I could have done it without gifts. But let's say I can treat them to a dessert after their pancakes and the celebration doesn't has to be sober. 

I don't know about the next weeks, but we can use a celebration. At least I can after years off sobriety and a year off expensive bills, even more issues and groceries increasing in prices ahead. I'm turning 30, so a celebration is allowed. 

So yes, for me personal- it's a period off gratitude for life itself. That's not a practice, or sarcasm. It's the truth. 

I expect another year off having to take it sober and war consequences from the war in Ukraine. So we're probably poor, cranky and cold in winter this year. Lugnasadh is a celebration off the grain harvest. It's good to wish for the war in Ukraine to stop and the world to have acces to it again this period off time. A lot off people are starving to death because off it and in this country people also befall victim to it. It's the time off year to practice magic for grain and flour to be available again the next period. And to stop the war in Ukraine so people don't have to be cold in winter, I'd say! Instead off competing over costumes, you could also put this time off year to practicall use and massively put on pagan spells and rituals against the war so the world has acces to grain again. Mind over matter. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.