Good evening at the 7th off August, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was bright, hot and sunny and the weather is promising even more hot weather for next week. I'm not looking forward to it. 

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My birthday was a succes. The quark tarts where well received on Friday, and we had a small celebration at de Boed with music for me and a volunteer who also had her birthday that day. People said they loved my quark tart and they enjoyed my birthday that day and I received a lot off birthday cards and congratulations from everyone. 

I needed a trolley to bring all off them to de Boed. Luckily I could borrow one from them. I adjusted edible silver decorations on top off my quark tarts Friday. 

Saturday I had the celebration with my family. We went to a pancake restaurant at de Zaanse Schans and it was such a lovely day. It was sunny, we could sit at a fancy terrace in a beautifull surrounding with all the green houses, the atmosphere and the flowers and the pancakes where wonderfull. I made a good decision on taking my family out to a restaurant for my 30th birthday. It felt nice and it wasn't crowded yesterday and we had fun talking and eating pancakes and cheesecake for dessert. I got nice presents and I'm not robbed in money. It was affordable yesterday. Life was good at that moment and I hope I will remember it for a long time since it's something to cherish. My family highly appreciated and they all had fun yesterday. It made their day, too. It was that good off an experience. 

de Zaanse Schans is good for 6 million tourists a year. It's often crowded with tourists from all corners off the world. 

It was a good idea. 

I found I could order a few special Nordic Ware items with a high discount at a website where I have been saving points from products. That way I got two Nordic Ware items this year for my hobby by making a lot off quark tarts. 

I expect this year to become hard and expensive for a lot off people. So it's probably a good thing to continue my mission: Bake them stuff that will help soften sharp edges. And boring Sundays.  

Today was for sleeping in after getting medication from the office and taking it easy after yesterday. Though it didn't take too much off a toll and I could keep up well, I was still a bit tired today. I had my aunt saying my dad would have been proud off my life if he could see it and that ment something for me. I have build up something good from the bottom on I can be proud off. Despite it's often boring and depressing, I do my utmost best to stand tall and give it my best. I do well in working for what I earn. I don't do well in mind, since they are fussing over medication all the time with me, though I have the feeling my mind is a bit calmer than usuall so it's heading the right direction as far as I can say. I have been behaving well this weekend! Like every weekend, every day, I do so. 

I don't deserve the reputations they like to put up on me in Vana Events circles. I could have wrecked the live chat on the wickerbeast burning last night and call Mark a jackass instead off a horse. But I haven't done so despite to have thought it. 'That's not a horse, it's a donkey. A big Jackass.' (I'm still sharing it with you on here. But it's to illustrate the matter.) I have behaved well yesterday and kept it in. (Mark is geen paard, maar een grote ezel.) And I don't know if I find the message off this wickerbeast so trustworthy, given there is a lot off fights and jealousy in those circles. People can't behave well sometimes. There are a lot off things going on about jealousy and it's sickness number one among them. aside from playing naive and stupid so they are not seen as suspicious. I have to see this wickerbeast works before I believe what it's been put up for. Like I told them in a postcard: 'Women among each other are just a bunch off chickens.' Did I offend someone or what? I have seen Mark and a few other men in chickensuits on stage on one event on a video and now they made a cattle off horses out off it to feel better about themselves. To keep from being offended over my postcard. To be honest, I don't believe this wickerbeast. 

If they keep on doing this, I know I've hit a spot and it's probably been more right than they want to admit. Women (and men) among each other are a bunch off chickens in their circles. Let's hope it doesn't spark over to every day life off North-Holland, where women are hard working and down to earth and helping each other instead off gossiping the shit out off each other. That's just not how most off us are here. Let that stay in South-Holland and Brabant, or Utrecht for that matter, (Where most off them live) where women are jealous bitches sometimes.   

Tomorrow is the start off a heathwave. Actually it has already started today and I hope I can make it through. I hate summer heath and what I need to do is to keep myself fresh and clean. It's also a period off mourning since it's been 10 years since my dad has passed away. 10 awfull years which haven't done good for me. I hope I will make it through next week. The week off the 16th off August is not the best week off the year for me. My dad is missed and it's going to be awfully warm. It's already not to my liking. The previous 10 years have been hell to me. My curtains have already been closed a lot this year due to summer heath. To keep bright sunlight out. I have been inside a lot since I burn easily since my skin is so pale and I'm somewhat allergic to too much sunlight. I could pass for a vampire nowadays if I wasn't so fat. (I'm not a vampire.) 

Winter is depressing, summer is scorching. Both is not to my liking. It's never good enough so it seems. Maybe life would be better if I was less alone and had a love to care for (And he for me.) I have been single  my entire life (I kid you not) and it's been lonesome. I wish I had love in my life. But it's hard to find that. Love, or a vampire victim (Masculine) And I wish for him to do the dishes and clean the house since I can't do that myself. Love would make life less lonesome. At least I hope it would. And I'm likely to suck him out since I'm a mental patient who needs care on all levels. I'm giving a lot off positive vibes back, though. (If I'm to his liking) I'm a mental patient in a care home. I should stay single for common sense' sake. But it's so alone to be single. 

I wish I wasn't alone in this world. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.