Good afternoon at the 28th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today the sky is all sunny and clear, it's cold but beautifull outside. 

*

Yesterday evening I had a clear vision. Pluto is transferring to Aquarius, and everyone is expecting a high-tech, modern and emancipated version off society when it develops. In my vision, however, society was turned back a few decades untill the aesthetics and the morals off the 50's. I'm not saying this as a fan off said decade and it's style. I cheer for a modern society too. (Though I love old fashioned style, to a certain point.) But I'm afraid it's going to turn back to the late Pisces era. Untill short before the sun came up in Aquarius. I can't say it any other way. 

Simply because we still have karma to sort out, and society isn't ready for modern morals yet. I should give the modernisation off society still some time if I where you, if not generations for it to truly start. 

Crime could be caught easier, morals where more friendly, style was far more simple and decent, and people wheren't so alone and 'who care-ish.' at that time. That's what they are trying to say. So, red lipstick, skirts for women, easy going yet strict life and more respect for one another. And people where more gratefull back in those days. The good old values will come back, just as the styles. but it's a throw back for society. Not a step forward. I think we all should be warned against the fairytales and optimism some astrologers and mediums are trying to hold up for us. We are not done with the old fashioned yet. A warned person counts for two as the translated Dutch saying goes. 

'But how about the music?' I have been asking 'them.' Music was far more better in the late 20th century. But they couldn't answer me that, unfortunately. So everything is going a few steps back but the music 'depends.' Hmm... 

They told me I should look better for what is coming up. I look ratchet and unpolished and that's how I prefer it. But women (and men) where supposed to look their best decades ago. A lot off modern women slack in style and love it. I like an old fashioned style myself, untill it hits me in my emancipation and personal freedom. The Hollywood take on the old fashioned is perfect. But it wasn't fun for a lot off (odd) people to live in those eras. Women with skirts, clean blouses, fancy shoes and red lipsticks. *sigh*. I have to doll up my hair if we are truly going back. It's not completely to my liking. It's good for the old morals to come back to make society more easy. But I suspect it's going to be hard for some. (So beware.) We are not flying into an age off Aquarius, but rather fight out the last bits off the Pisces era. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

  

Good evening at the 27th off January, 2023.

Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy and grey outside. And cold. 

*

Today was for travelling to my family for a gathering this sunday. My grandma will turn 90. Which is pretty awesome. I already arrived today to spend the weekend here. It won't be all weekend. It's going to be held at Sunday. Still I wanted to be here today. 

Today was for travelling to my family by train, and then finishing the book Namaste, by Franscesc Miralles and Héctor Garcia while mom was still at work. I just loved it and it had a good impact on me. I never have been reading work that has been explaining spiritual terms from India as clear as this work to me. Usually I read them and they stand by me as quite 'vague.' But this was clear enough to understand. Except for the Indian names to persons, which where hard to understand. (And read, let alone pronounce and remember.) But other than that, the book was clear as water to understand to a low educated and interested noob like me. I have been interested in Buddhism and eastern philosophys and been reading about them for quite some time now. I just hope I can keep on remembering everything, I think I have to let everything sink in for a while, and then probably re-read. It's been interesting. 

The reason why I probably love the works off these authors, is that I can relate so well to their book 'Ikigai.' Their first and most famous work. For me, my Ikigai is cooking and baking. It's been a philosophy which suited my life quite much. I have been soaking in all their works so far and they're authors I can recommend to the audience.  

This is what the Dutch version off Namaste looks like, but I'm pretty sure there's an English version / version in your language off it. I have been shopping my copy in an actuall bookstore instead off online. And it's only 16,99 euro's. Which I think is an acceptable price for such a book. 

It's perfect for anyone who wants Indian spiritual terms perfectly explained to them, and who is interested in the lifestyle they describe. 

Yesterday was for taking notes off the Leviaan council meeting again. It's been a while since I did so. I have had enough off taking notes for a while, but yesterday I took on it again, and I'm proud to say that I worked them out pretty soon and that I already send them to be printed. Office work is cool. As long as it doesn't soak you out and leaves you empty at the end off the day. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good afternoon at the 21st off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is cold and foggy and grey-clouded. Trees are still empty and it's January at it's best. 

*

Yesterday winter depression hit me. I feel so sad and mournfull and depressed. Somehow it started when taking a look at easter cookies, and ordering supplies for my batches off easter cookies this year. Ahead to that I was in a January mood. Fog, old fashionedness, winter depression, rain and grey clouds- people dying all the time and falling incredibly sick, And a massive crisis where western Europe has become poor. And children starving before they get to school each morning. It's so cruel. (I was thinking to myself sarcastically: 'Isn't it romantic?' I relate to the crisis by thinking back to the 1930's, the '50's or the 1900's. My home is decorated old fashioned and it's not strange for me to fall back to the old classic styles from crisises and poor periods from long ago. That helps me cope somehow. My hang to the old fashioned makes it romantic in a cruel 'You can't get it more accurate than this.' -way. But let's explain that later on.) All off a sudden when looking up inspiration for easter cookies, a massive depression hit me. I don't know if you can call it that if it takes on for a short time. But it wasn't nice. I can't explain why it hit me when looking up spring-themed easter cookies. You'd say it would cheer me up. But it dragged me down and I have no reason for you why that is. 

What helps me cope today is this: 

  

It's a perfect banana syrup waffle cake, with home made caramel sauce and it cheers me up how perfect it came out off it's mold. I'm proud off it. I made it this morning and it will be served tomorrow afternoon at de Boed's (A small community centre in Zaandijk.) coffee moment. The fog has faded. Fog on the river Thames in London is also such a January idyle I think off a lot these days, it's perfectly suitable for that January depressive feeling. It's that I have made a banana- syrup waffle cake instead off a British fruitcake, otherwise I could perfectly picture myself in old England with all that depressive fog surrounding the Gortershof garden. (This is old fashioned Netherlands, but you get the idea.)  Nevertless, my cake cheers me up. And I hope it also has that effect on fellow clients. Baking helps me through. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.  

Good afternoon at the 19th off January, 2022.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's clear, with here and there a cloud, and it's cold. In the south off this country, there has happened to be a blizzard. But the streets here are still as clean and grey as bricks can be. 

*

Yesterday was for coconut- straciatella quark tarts. Because my dad would have turned 70 this year yesterday. My mom and brothers told me to 'get over with it.' And 'go on with life.' And they didn't feel the urge to remember or celebrate. So I celebrated it this way with de Boed. The coconut and dark chocolate chips where my own addition. It was pretty good. I also adjusted a little extra vanilla extract, and amaretto syrup. 

Mom and my brothers refuse to make a small celebration out off my dad's birthday after ten years. It's hard for me for them to do so. I have cried a few tears over it these weeks. I'm not as harsh as my family when it comes to these kind off things. We should go on and not fear death and live our lives to the fullest, still I'm only human and I still have the urge to remember my dad in style each year. Death is a softer and better place for humans to go, and dad would only wanted us to live our life to the fullest. He would have hated us to still cry over him after all these years. Still I think my family is mean with it. And ignorant. It's not to my liking but they're not open to my side. I have no choice but celebrating it my style. In my own circle.  

No-Spend-Month is going nowhere. I went to the city centre off Zaandam, and had lunch with a cappuccino and then purchased a few books at a bookstore two days ago. I purchased Namaste, and two cookbooks among which the Chicken Bible. The last edition off the cooking bible series to complete my collection. Aside to that, I purchased laundry wash and softner on a discount this week. (I'm washing my duvet and pillows today. You're supposed to do so each half a year. I'm using my new laundry softner today.) And I gave away a bottle off new laundry wash and softner from those multipacks. I made someone happy with it. This flat has a small wooden case where you can donate stuff for free and people who can use it can take it from it. When I purchase multipacks for cheap off certain items, I'm not the last to share a bottle off this or that. Usually the donation case is stuffed with old books. Sometimes I think I'm the only one stupid enough to use it for what it's ment for. It's barely  put to good use. But not today, today I made someone happy with expensive laundry wash for color and sweet smelling softner. I also let someone borrow my new Hiro Arikawa book after I finished it. (With a note for her to return it after she finished it.) 

No-Spend-Month is going nowhere, I purchase whatever my heart desires only to give it away almost immediately after I received it. In my defense I can say that it's a hard week. A fellow client has died, and a caretaker has become permanently sick and doesn't return to work after a year off abscence. I liked her and she was good and helpfull at her job. She was in my team for pretty long. The groceries where expensive but I decided nevertless to still bake, because people can use my work to soften edges more than ever this month so it seems. But what's life without sharing and giving away? Allright, that's it. I quit No-Spend-Month for this time and go on with life as decadent as usuall. I'm simply not strong enough this month, or I'm rebelling against myself. Either way, it doesn't work. When intuition, and the power off the universe have their way, sometimes rational No-Spend-Month is no use. Then I have to follow my heart and spend as I please. As long as I use my mind with it, and not go too much overboard with it. 

Despite it might seem a bit innapropriate to still bake, given the circumstances. I decided to still do so. I think I will be gratefull towards myself in the future if I keep on baking now. And yes, the sad people off de Boed do love their cakes despite it all. Maybe it does comfort them and I do help people cope. And it's good to practice my hobby and set my own mind off off things. It's a win-win situation for everyone in this case. (And yes, people -even the most sad people- loved the coconut-straciatella cake. They kept on complimenting me over and over.) 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 15th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is windy and cold in the Netherlands, and this morning there was a hailstorm. As far as it goes, the sky seems to be cleared by now and there's only clouds blowing over. It's still cold, though. 

*

This morning was for preparing semolina pudding. I don't know yet if it will come entirely out off it's mold. That will be a suprise when I decide to try it. All I can say is that I used a luxurious mold for it, and the suprise will be even bigger when it turns out to be good. Combined with the berry sauce, the old folks off de Boed will probably love it tomorrow evening, after our sober dish. 

It's ment to provide some comfort for Blue Monday. Blue Monday is the third monday after the holidays, and it's supposed to be the most depressing monday in a year. This year I decided to try to fight the monday blues with a comfort dessert. I usually try to make the best out off the wintermonths. To fight my own winter depression, and to help mainly myself cope with the cold and boring first months off the year. I need fun plans to stand it. I love lending people a hand with good foods, but my 'fight the winter.' plan is mainly for myself. 

In the Netherlands, winter means rain, grey skies and depressing weather for two to three months mainly. If I wouldn't be on extra vitamin D, I would be as depressed as a doorknob during those months, and they're just terrible on their own. So I'm trying to make something good out off them, despite the crisis and the weather. 

Sometimes we just have to stand and withstand circumstances, sometimes (Especially in our modern times) we can soften them and make something fun out off them, despite it all. I won't say you can set every hailstorm to your own hand, it's often best to stay in and let those pass. But in general, winter doesn't has to be depressing and boring if you make something out off it. 

My usuall idea off that contains wearing nice pinks and other pastels, this year preferrably in sweaters, and baking nice stuff so I can cheer myself and those around me up a little. Being inside my home and enjoying it and having coffee or tea with myself also works. Good coffee in weekends cheers me up. I happen to have a favourite cookie to side it these days. Today I'm wearing beige, but I had coffee and I did an attempt in making pudding for tomorrow. It made my morning. 

I polished my nails a dark green and tonight will be for dying my hair. The last time I dyed was in November, so my locks can use some nice hairdye. It's going to be a natural, cool blonde shade. But better than what I have now so I look more polished with that in my hair. I'm trying to grow my hair this year, so I'm not going to let it cut untill easter. I'm planning to see the hairdresser short before easter, and then just let her cut off dead ends and fresh up the front off my hair. I would love to have long, full hair again and wear it like it's a crown. It looks good on me, usually. So that's going to be the plan for next year. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

P.S, a picture off the inside off the marble cake will follow.      

Edit: I forgot my camera during coffee time, but the inside was pretty good and they loved it. Sometimes that's what cake can be about. I'm sorry folks, next time better with pictures!  

Good evening at the 14th off January, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today a stormwind is passing us by, including rainstorms and strong wind. 

*

I did two things this morning, 

I have been preparing a marble cake, which is for tomorrow and which didn't come whole out off it's mold - unfortunately. My ass will be saved if the inside off this turns out to be gorgeous, like it's supposed to be with marble cakes. 

And I have been preparing four jars off berry sauce: 

(I didn't cif them. But it's my intention to leave pits and chunks in.) 

It's for a supprise dessert for Monday evening for de Boed, a small community centre in Zaandijk, the Netherlands. It's so satisfying to cook berries with sugar in my cooking pan. 

I pureed the thing with my stand mixer to smoothen. It's really comforting, and satisfying, especially when it's raining cats and dogs outside. I brought it to a brothle after I smoothened, and after a few minutes I thought my sauce was done. I used berries, cinnamon, a lot off sugar, some jelly sugar and a hint off water in it. It tastes wonderfull, and I hope people at de Boed will love it, too. It's for a comfort dessert especially made to beat the Blue Monday blues this year. I'm going to make people's all time favourite: Semolina pudding. If you ask them what dessert they miss most, and what you hear them most about, it's semolina pudding with berry sauce. From their youth, like how their mother would prepare it. I'm going to make semolina pudding tomorrow, so it can stiffen well for Monday evening. Especially on a shitty day where the weather is all bad, after a boring potatoes, meat and vegetables dish (Like they are going to serve us) I know a semolina pudding is going to be loved by them. I'm really going to make work out off it. If it's going to get well out off it's mold tomorrow, I will really have something to picture for you. 

It's so nice to cook up berries, I'm willing to do more with it. I have been comfort cooking most off the day. Except for lunch and coffee at de Boed. I just cross my fingers I will have enough cake for tomorrow. And enough pudding for Monday. And that my pudding will come entirely out off it's mold. That's a lot to hope for. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 12th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today is rainy, stormy and windy. It's downright terrible outside. 

*

No-Spend-Month is going nowhere. I have been quite enjoying myself, this past first week off the year. With a shopping trip and a lunch at a restaurant at the dunes, and purchasing make-up with a huge discount online. (It was just too good off an offer to resist.) The previous time I hit the button quite harder and did well on No-Spend-Month. It's just that this time I don't seem to manage it well. I have had a great first two weeks off the year, nevertless, but I didn't play by the rules. Except for not buying clothes untill Spring. I kept myself well to that so far. It's only been two weeks, but it's been going allright. 

I don't know if I'm going to give No-Spend-Month a new, more fair, try. Or that I'll leave it here. It's not a bad idea not to spend too much money these months. Life is expensive, and every dime saved is one. But the world just seems to be tempting at the moment, with new fancy bakingmolds I recently discovered, and the authors to a favoutite bookseries off mine have come with new work. I definetely wish to read it. It's called Namaste by Franscesc Mirailles and Héctor Garcia, about the ancient Indian wisdom off Namaste. (They wrote several books on Japanese wisdom, like Ikigai and Wabi Sabi. Now they took a try on an ancient Indian wisdom.) It's feelgood, it reads perfectly and I love their works. Maybe it's something for later on. Just like those fancy (Silicon) baking molds I discovered. 

This week's Wednesday Soup was for brocoli-zuchinni soup and people loved it. It's been a work off love again for those who wish to eat a fresh bowl off soup each week at de Boed, community centre in Zaandijk. A small village in the Netherlands. I have been snickering a bit about something I came up with about it: 

'We don't eat this shit, we just sell it- we reserve the right to eat soup to the young, the black, the poor and the stupid.' (It's how the tobacco industry has put it in their disclaimer: 'We don't smoke this shit, we just sell it- we reserve the right to smoke to the young, the black, the poor and the stupid.') It's not true that I, or 'we' (As in: de Boed's management.) don't eat my soup, me and most caretakers love it. I just have been thinking it out as how some people might perceive my soup kitchen each week. Trying to make poor people who are desperate eat that shit. It's not true. It's restaurant worthit soup. I really give it my best and I love how people enjoy it, and today I have been enjoying a bowl myself. The only thing about it, is that it fullfills me even more to make poor fellow clients eat it. They just love it. And I love that. I have been really sarcastic about it. Who needs a critic if you can do so yourself? 

The weather for next week has been forecasting winter showers over the Netherlands, with chances for snow. Just like I thought. It won't last long, but winter isn't over yet. I feel I'm prepared, though hoarding three jars off peanutbutter probably wasn't the best idea, since I'm out off them almost already. But I got warm sweaters and socks. I feel it's going to be allright next week for me. 

Yesterday evening I was enraged. It wasn't loud anger, but the silent, poisonous-for-yourself kind off anger. I have been fed up with the crisis, the poor people getting poorer, the poor kids suffering even more, the weather, the energy crisis, the war in Ukraine, and just the feeling off deep dark crisis and having to be sober in general. I have been enraged, but to a point where I could still function. I just sat there on my couch, digesting it all, and feeling terrible without anything or anyone to speak my mind to. It really got the best off me last night and it doesn't does so often. Luckily it faded and I could go to bed. 

We won't be poor forever. There will be a time where we will be as decadently wealthy as we where in, say, 2015. It's just that this year will be a pitch dark crisis year for everyone, where we better don't be ungratefull about the things we still have. It's going to be a year where everyone will be sober, and has to play it sober. We are poor. But there will be days when we look back on this and we live to tell the tale. 

With this positive statement, I'd like to end this weblog for today. Remember to keep your head up, despite it all. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.     

Good evening at the 9th off January, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy with here and there a rainshower, with sometimes that excagerating spring vibe weather breaking through. It's been a pretty bad day, though. The grey was more. 

*

Today was less off a jay day than yesterday. It's been the average grocery shopping on a Monday-day. Not much sunshine breaking through, and it was cold and mostly cranky. Sometimes we can't change a thing about circumstances, and we just have to let them blow over us. It doesn't last forever, and also boring days come to an end. 

Off all the days in the week, Mondays are my least favourite. Not because off weekend blues, but mainly because they're boring and because off the hasty grocery shopping that takes place under surveillance off caretakers. It's something mandatory every week. But we just can't go without since Zaandijk has no shops closeby, so we are driven to a supermarket each week by a grocery van. One positive thing is that I haven't spend much today on groceries, while still getting what I need. In fact, I restored my payment account with what I saved from the Saturday trip. Despite everything, it was still a stupid day with dutyfull work and just being at de Boed's coffee moments. You hear me complaining about such a luxury in a far off village, I know, but there was a time when supermarkets where closeby and I could go there whenever I pleased without caretakers being on my back and a van with a driver putting such a stigma on me each week. Still I can't go without. 

It felt less harsh due to my weekend trip, though. Usually life goes by boring every day, and Mondays are even worse. But today it felt almost like I could take on it, and that's what a good weekend is supposed to be about. 

Still I sit here all buzzed, I really have to restore from this energy-draining day. 

I wish I knew what kind off soups or desserts they serve on board off cruise ships. Last year I had fun imagining myself on board off a cruise ship with my luxurious chicken soup and my tourist-like outfit. I didn't go much further than that for a holiday last year, but what would be served on board at the Holland-America line? If I can prepare something similair, I can daydream again and it was fun. They can't take that daydream from me. Short before Christmas, I prepared luxurious paprika soup, better than the Fletcher hotel and worthit an empty pot when I did so. I can't go on a holiday and I can't just go to a hotel and wine and dine there. Muscles are served at a luxurious cruise, but they won't serve them here. It's usually old fashioned Dutch kitchen, or something that's not too high maitainance they serve here. I bet on a cruise ship, people can choose from a large dessert buffet, and a good soup is just part off a luxurious lunch or dinner buffet either. I can't take on it like that. That's just impossible for plain old me at this shabby place. 

This week I will have lunch tomorrow at a restaurant in the dunes. Johanna's hof. After that I will take a walk through the dunes with a caretaker. It's a reward for to have excercised well with them the previous months, going with them on walks and swimming each week, like a good girl should. I behaved well according to them, and I will be rewarded for it like that. So, it's not completely true I have no luxury at all this week. I have to pay for that lunch myself, though. Luckily I can do so with money mom gave me. Life is good these weeks. No-Spend-Month is going nowhere, but sometimes it's needed to spoil ourselves a bit. The foresight off tomorrow cheers me up a bit from today. 

I heard on the news today Spain is the most populair holiday destination for people so far. Maybe I can make a Spanish baking this summer, so we can also get into that vibe. I know one thing for sure: Most off us won't make it to Spain this year. But I can put the taste off Spain on a pastry plate for us this year. 

Some '80's pop I'd like to share with you this evening: 

Just heard it on the radio and I love the groove it has. I love '80's pop. 

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading. 

       

Good evening at the 8th off January, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was cloudy and grey, but with here and there shy sunny interfalls. Sun breaking through the clouds and lighting this mild winter day. 

*

Yesterday, I threw No-Spend-Month out off the window and went visiting the city off Alkmaar, my favourite city in Noord-Holland. Really, Zaanstad can't tip it. I went there by train early in the morning, and had coffee in a cafetaria, purchased the dessert bible in a bookshop, among a postcard for my cousin, and then went over the market, passing a cooking supply shop, (And purchasing pink cupcake papers with ladybugs on it.) and then went back, purchasing some nice buns from a bakery for breakfast for the next morning. I didn't make it a long visit but it was good to be back in The old city where I spend most off my time when I was at school, a long time ago. I miss Alkmaar. I hadn't been visiting for a while, and going there gave me such positive energy, and the dessert bible is just love at first read. I can draw a lot off inspiration from it, for a Sunday dessert for de Boed every now and then. I could do this because my mom gave me money some time ago. Otherwise it would have been entirely impossible. I love visiting old romantic cities and have coffee with a pastry there, scooping around looking for fun items. I couldn't help myself. I haven't kept to No-Spend-Month, but I needed an escape from here yesterday. Just something to get over with the daily boredness and gloom. 

I traded the boredness for spring vibes, early as it is. It's only winter, but I feel them bubbling in my heart and I feel joyous, and full off life and wishing to enjoy life. Despite the crisis, the war, and the trouble ahead to us. I have been sending my cousin the postcard, and my mom a card with a squirel on it today. I found a few postcards on a shelve, and some poststamps I forgot about. (I love sending postcards to people.)  The rest off the time, I'm trying to be sober again and spend little money, despite those spring vibes in early winter. Today I gave air to it by wearing a white and pink sweater, bright and lovely as it is. Instead off simple clothes, but keeping the rest off my clothes quite simple. And it's just love I feel for what I could do with those ladybug cupcake papers. The cooking shop was just one big dream for a hobbycook. All sorts off bundt molds, (Also a lot off Nordic Ware) lines and lines off tart pans, machinery and equipment for cooking, kitchenware to make your table extra chique and romantic, it was just perfect. Just like the bookshop. I had some money on hand, but I couldn't shop 'till I drop, so I picked the items I purchased mindfully, as far as that goes. I love markets, so I took a walk over the Saturday market, looking for buns for breakfast, but there was no bakery stand. Probably off for holiday vacation, but what is a market without a bakery stand? So I purchased breakfast at a bakery. Not bad either. 

It was a perfect day, and there is so much greatness in the dessert bible. I just love it. Just like the forecasts, the beginning off this year seems very positive to me. It's a period off spring vibes, good purchases and fun things to do, instead off piling yourself up inside. Much better than previous year. I know we should be weary, I know it's a crisis and a war, but I just wanted to go out and have fun. Which I barely do. Do things that make your heart beat faster- That's my advice for this year. I listned to it. 

And now I'm trying to go back to sobriety, Springvibes can also come cheap. 😉  

Allright, that's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.   

Good afternoon at the 5th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's grey, cold and cloudy. It's perfect weather to feed a winter depression. 

*

This will be a blog with a warning. 

Society is going backward, people are fed up and speak off some sort off a revolution to safe the world, but something told me yesterday evening that society can face the problems that will be thrown to it much better, if it stays the way it is for a while and doesn't evolve to the next version off society. Which will be disastrous in this case. 

If society would develop, we would get something worse than a dictatorship and I had a clear dream about it some time ago. It wasn't good. Instead off peace-making hippies, the extreme right got the overhand and destroyed life and it's most important values and brought up some extreme nasty and violent men to keep law and order under their rules. It where some sort off Nazi's 2.0, and I'm not kidding about it. Everything that's strange and eccentric was put to chains, the nazi's kept law and order and women where thrown back to unemancipation. The country wasn't going forward. It's the sentiment that plays among white men who feel victimized by modern emancipation and Black Lives Matter. The extreme right will victory with violence, put the law book under their own conctruction and torture strange people to death. And it didn't look fair or better. I should warn you about it. They where about to change countries borders, put strict rules up for women and minorities, act with brute violence and put our beautifull modern law out off order to control Europe. Entire Western Europe (Except for Scandinavia.) was victimized by it in my vision. The emotion off the extreme right lives strong in a lot off people. It's a threat and a potential danger, and it has to be kept under control. As screwed up and as stupid as society may seem nowadays, at least it's not a dictatorship, minorities are protected by the law and the police is strong enough to keep hold off acts off brute violence (Or I may hope so.) 

If society would stay the way it is for, say, 50 years, it's much easier to face the problems we will have to face. Famine, war, poverty, etcetra. If we would be thrown into a dictatorship governed by the extreme right, it will hit us even harder. I have the feeling I should already warn you against this. If society evolves these years, it will not be for the greater good. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading. 

Good afternoon at the 4th off January, 2023.

 Good afternoon everyone, 

Today it's all gloomy and grey outside. With rainshowers every often. It's as depressing as a doorknob. 

*

Speaking off depression, I have the hang to feel gloomy almost all day, if I wouldn't have a hobby which cheered me up this morning/ afternoon, Baking: 

I have been trying to fight my winterblues with these. Two lemoncakes with my version off lemonglaze. Based on the Farmer-cake method, just with lemon zest instead off vanillin sugar. These where kind off an experiment with baking molds I had 'on the shelves.' for some time. It almost beats the depression. I feel good when I think about these, but when my thoughts go fly on their own, the sadness returns. These where not Nordic Ware, but silicon dupes I wanted to try previous summer. And they work just as well. Today I finally felt the need to actually try them. They are for de Boed's afternoon coffee moment tomorrow. I got complimented on them by my mental health nurse, who came to visit to see how I was doing. She said they looked like flowers. (One off them is actually a flower, but the other one could pass as one too.) These cause spring vibes this depressing winter week.  

I have been hoarding some baking ingredients at the supermarket this week, I haven't kept strictly to No-Spend-Month. Among which two lemons and icing sugar for these. But somehow I fear if I don't hoard things like flour, I might grab on an empty shelve the next time I need it, like last year around this time. And I hoarded vanilla extract, sugar and my baking secret which I won't reveal soon. But I felt the urge to buy it though it's not cheap. Other than that, I kept my groceries moderate. It's never a good thing to be driven by fear. But then I should have picked an other hobby before times where groceries have become expensive, or not available at all during a frickin war. And I still want to bake, despite it all. So people at de Boed can have something special with their coffee when I do so. To comfort them during these expensive and uncertain times. I want to make stuff that makes them forget about the crisis while they eat it, but as it all becomes expensive like this, I'm facing it myself even more all the time. I have a lot off baking plans for the upcoming month. It's just that the fears run high on me. But this time I victoried over Russia, for being capable to bake two pretty lemon cakes and they can't take that away from me. 

When I let my thoughts and my emotions run free, I feel angry and upset. I hope it's not winter depression that hits me. Sometimes I have that, and it takes often untill March to be cleared up. I hope we never get to a point where all recourses are truly up, or spare, and our money has vanished like water in the desert heath. We're doing bad right now, but we're not desperate yet. (At least I hope so) I hope we never really get to the point off true despair. I hope we never see a true famine or war ourselves, but I believe we will get a famine in Western Europe, absurd as it might sound now. Ten years ago, it sounded even more insane. We could feast like kings and queens and nobody thought it would go like this. At this moment, we are in the crisis situation and we will see worse. I feel so bad. Today is not for hunger, tomorrow is for cake in my case, but we have to look in the long term in this situation. Immense droughts and banning farmers from the lands won't do good for it. 

We should keep our heads clear, and make ourselves up for the war that's ahead to us. These years are no time to play. We need to be sure to have enough sources to keep ourselves alive during a crisis and a war that will take some time. I wish people would be more serious when it comes to this, and stop being such a tyke about it. 

We have more than enough available now to clear the job. We can live through a crisis and tell the tale if we think smart. Shelves in shops are still full off equipment and stock, and I advise you to get yourself a stock off items in case you need them, and some key items to survive would be handy too. It's never good to be ruled by fear or panic, but prepare for the worst as much as you can. 

 Allright, that's about it for now-   

Thank you for reading. 

Good evening at the 1st off January, 2023.

 Good evening everyone, 

It's cold, rainy and windy, though it's not overly cold. I turned the central heather a bit lower today. 

*

Today was the first day off my two No-Spend-Months. It went quite well. I haven't spend money today. I just had a cup off coffee this morning and I was inside all day. 

Just fresh coffee and some quiet me-time this morning. I didn't even have the radio on, cause it almost caused me a headache so I wanted the surrounding to be quiet. I didn't even eat the Christmas wreath cookies I found on my shelves. They're still in their package. (Though I had a pack off Buggles.) And I have been looking up the point saving programe at a website where you can safe for Nordic Ware on a discount. But I already own the two items they have on that site. So not much to safe for there. 

I heard the name to a good song on the radio during the Radio event off the year, the Top 2000 at the end off the year where they broadcast a lot off good music at the end off the year, and I have been looking it up on YouTube and enjoy it. The White Stripes with Seven Nations Army. 

 I just love it, and I love the lyrics. I have heard it before, but never knew the name to it. I love this kind off music and Rock classics in general. It's the best idea from Dutch radio to make a wonderfull programe at the end off the year playing this kind off music in a list where people can vote on it. And I learn a few names to songs from it, so it's also usefull. 

That's the day: Coffee, not spending money, alone time and The White Stripes at this first day off the year. 

I had a wish for last year: To publish 200 weblogs and I almost nailed it. It where 198 weblogs last year, so I'm short on two. Just damn it, almost... That will teach me to publish so little during autumn. But I just couldn't find the heart or the inspiration to write. Or my broken ankle was just in the way. 

2022 was an awfull year, I just hope 2023 will be much better. There's a promise in the air for it. It looks good astrologically seen for the first months to half off the year, so it's hopefully going to get a bit better for me and the world. The fireworks yesterday where just beautifull. I have really been enjoying them from behind my window. I live on the first floor off a small appartment building. I had a perfect sight over the houses last night. And before that de Boed had a quiz with great apple beignets (They came from a bakery and they where just so good) where I won the second prize. De Boed made quite something off last evening. After that I wanted some alone time with the radio on untill after midnight. It was a good evening and I have been really enjoying it. 

It's a bit off a bugger that the holidays and autumn are over. And we have to deal with winter for almost three good months. It's the perfect time to safe a little money in my opinion. I just hope the next year will be a good one. 

Allright, that's about it- 

Thank you for reading.