Good evening everyone,
I have been attempting at monday morning activity 'Jewelry making.' at de Boed, Community centre in Zaandijk after four weeks off being abscent. I made it. I made them, I can live to tell the tale. I finished the set and it will be for sale tomorrow in our outlet shop.
Good evening everyone,
I have bought something during grocery shopping (I'm glad I can participate in grocery shopping on monday again.) which has a sticker on it with 'Best letter according to Libelle 2019.' (I probably have to explain first that during Sinterklaas there are chocolate letters for sale in the Netherlands. They are part off a tradition.)
Libelle is a classic women's magazine which is usually interesting to read and which has excisted ever since the 1930'/ 1920's s in this country. I love to read it in all it's decadent nostalgia and practicall heartwarming stories. I often indulge in it when it's on a coffee table somewhere. There, I said it. I love to read a magazine people usually associate with elderly ladies and muff old fashionedness. I love it. The floral prints they use are nothing but charming. And it's feminine friendly despite it's classicness.
I didn't buy the chocolate letter on purpose, but I wanted to write a blog about how it actually tastes. It's flavour 'Peanutbutter.' I usually have to think twice when a receipe has the option 'Peanutbutter flavour.' and often am a bit weary why Americans put that in so many things. It's something to frown a bit upon. Why choose peanutbutter when there are so many other perfect creams out there to choose from? Usually I'm pro America but this is something I think by myself 'Murica...' Peanutbutter is a bit vulgair in European kitchens. I couldn't help but trying it somehow. It wasn't even on discount but it was in front to me and it ended in my shoppingbag. It's covered in salted peanuts and it has a salty peanutbutter filling but it's yummy. I see why it has won a title previous year. It's a suprising but deserved title for something with peanutbutter flavour. I wonder what letter will win this year.
Good afternoon everyone,
As you might know if you have been following this blog, I have a receipe for banana cake and I have made it more or less a few times lately. I just felt a bit stuck with the receipe since I felt like I had been making it too much and I felt like experimenting with the basic bananacake receipe I have been making for months. (It's probably not as much as I think, but it feels like it's a lot.)
I somewhat felt like having a baking 'block.' as if I'm a bit numb on what I should bake next and it's probably due to lack off diversion this period. I have been making the same applesauce, bananacake and stewed pears a bit too much these months I suppose. I believe it's time to create some new dimensions and experiment with flavours as some have become a bit boring.
I have been developping a second flavour and it's perfect in my opinion.
Good evening everyone,
I'm probably on front row to some famous vlogger war. I hear them exploding windows out outside. I heard two small explosions this evening. I hope they'll leave my house alone but go after each other instead.
(Recently, people got after a famous vlogger living nearby this neighbourhood. They have been exploding the windows out off each others places like crazy, it's often in the news. All I can do is keep quiet and hope they'll pass by soon.)
It's cold and gloomy weather in the Netherlands. Sinterklaas has entered the country in silence. There was no big show about it on TV this year due to Corona. It's seriously cold outside. I hope we'll get a dash off snow this year during winter. In this country, that's not always the case.
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Medication enlowering doesn't take place as easy as hoped. I have to take it more slowly and they're planning on enlowering more slow than intended at first. I feel I have to talk through a lot before anything can happen, though I told psychiatric health care a lot this afternoon. It soothed to tell her. To tell everything relieved a lot.
I got cured from Corona, this week was the first week I took on day to day life again but I decided on to take small steps and go forward easy going. I decided on to tackle my sleeping issues by going to bed later instead off trying to get to sleep too early. I have hallucinations about frêle blonde men wishing to actually take me to a comfortable home somewhere at a lakeside in some northern country. That's my heart's wish. To live comfortably ever after in some romantic surrounding somewhere abroad. Somehow it's getting a bit too much to handle, I should talk about this with health care and see what they can do about it. I bet my hallucinations aren't capable to actually build a life abroad, it's just distracting and silly. I should try keeping it from overwhelming me when I'm alone at home at night. It's not helpful to fall asleep with. It's even more off a thing getting emotionally attached to actual people in there who don't seem to excist. I supose I'm more lonesome and on the empty side off life than what's good for me.
My guts are leaping up again and cause some stomach pain and other issues these weeks. I should drink way less coffee and watch my food again this month. I hope all off these gut issues don't turn out to be something seriously bad. It's not going to be easy to watch food in a festive season. Maybe I should take a road in between and see how I'll make it through. I wish to be capable to participate in most things. I hate the idea off having to watch my guts during december. It seems impossible so far. I should see how far I can get and then give it a better try in January, during diet month. That's probably a better idea.
Next week, wednesday soup will take place again at de Boed. I decided to pick up my spoons again and give it my best again in de Boed's kitchen and cook for fellow patients every often. I believe since I have experienced it myself, I should continue my mission to feed them plenty off vegetables and hopefully keep the lot healthy. It's told by the Corona centre to everyone who gets it, to eat a lot off Vitamin C to strengthen your immune system. So it's officially approved off by the government. I heard my soup got missed by people at the time when I wasn't capable to make it. It's good to get compliments.
I have a mission. I only allow myself to buy tons off new cookbooks (There are series out there which are addictive to collect all off them from) if I'm about to use them. I need about two new book cases if I'm willing to succeed in that mission. Some retards collect fantasy novels. Some people collect romantic novels and historic novels. Some collect walls off bookcases with manga, While other people just use bookcases as a showcase to decorations. It's just what you're up for. I can't wait to pile a few bookcases up with even more cookbooks. I only allow myself if I'm going to use them and cook receipes from them.
Allright, that's about it for this evening.
Thank you for reading.
Good afternoon everyone,
This evening I'm going to be lowered on quetiapine. (seroquel) and it's on the late side since I should have enlowered and quit with it two years ago. It just didn't work out well during that period, it was in the year when I was stuck in a house with drug addict neighbours at Amberhout and felt as down as a brick. They consider these months a better period, and they're on about it pretty fast.
Within about a month I'm going to quit the entire thing and it's with large steps. I suppose I shouldn't allow myself out off the house untill April. (I'm not going to take it, I need fresh air and some people around me every often. But I suppose I'm lethal at this moment when it comes to it.)
When quetiapine is quit perfectly, they are going to quit Lorazepam since that is the most heavy medicine I have been on for about two years. It's suppose to be a rescue at moments when life's getting too much, you take it and at that moment your mind is suppose to calm down. But I was on it for about two years every night. It's something you can get addicted to, and something which looses it's abilities when you take it too much. It's also suppose to help you sleep. Which it just doesn't do anymore but that has been going on for pretty long. I have had sleeping issues for some time now, which I had before I took calming medicines.
I don't know how everything is going to work out these months. Am I truly allowed to live because I'm supposed to cook my fellow patients Indonesian foods? You're probably going to find out if you keep on following my weblog.
Allright, that's about it for now.
Thank you for reading.
Good afternoon everyone,
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Yesterday I finished this picture frame. It's still empty, but it's situated decorately at my book case, next to a fairy statue. It has no purpose yet, but I think I did well on it. The two jars are still in my windowsill, I suppose I'm still a bit low on energy and not capable to get them anywhere at this moment. Sometimes that happens.
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Yesterday I was at de Boed, but it felt like I had ran a marathon off at least 50 kilometers while it's just a few meters around the corner. Good grief, I never felt that way and care takers told me afterwards when I got back after about an hour (I couldn't take any more) that I was still looking too sick and not allowed to go out there. I'm still in quarantine since I'm still sick and it feels like I'm on my last leggs when I go out to do something. I also still cough and sneeze. So I'm supposed to stay in all day again. I had to lay on my bed all evening and a big part off this morning to overcome what I did yesterday. I have never been that low on energy. It's what you hear from most corona patients, how much off an attack the disease was to their condition.
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Something funny. Yesterday when oppening my letterbox I found another attack. The letterbox was all wet and some post stuck to each other and there was a small package inside. When in my appartment, I opened the package and it contained half a bottle off orange juice, the rest got leaked on my post ans when opening it, it almost shoot to the ceiling. It was called 'Vitamin Bo.' Some sort off orange juice mixed with sparkling water, I had it as a present from Leviaan, I felt like laughing about it instead off getting angry. It tasted well, it was just a pity it had barely anything left in that bottle after what it did to my letterbox. I know they intended a serious pick me up, but it felt like a funny prank. Or maybe I'm just a bit weird when it comes to that.
allright, that's about it for this weblog,
thank you for reading.
Sometimes... it's deserved. Sometimes.... you just have the urge. Sometimes... You know it's just because you're a glutton. And sometimes... it just doesn't take a reason but to have almost survived.
Coffee with a pastry this morning during a morning show called 'Coffee Time.'
Good morning everyone,
As some off you might know, I'm a mild feminist and pro equal rights for most people. I'm proud Trump has lost the elections, and Joe Biden has won. Not only for America, but for the entire world.
I think it's such a win for someone like Kamela Harris to have won with him. Women and minorities are too often still spit upon. I believe people shouldn't do that. I hope they can make something out off their presidential term and not only having to clean up after Trump.
Sometimes you have to show your teeth to win a battle. It's something Dutch women back out for. Showing your teeth and seriously fighting for a cause they think is important. We can learn a lot from American women when it comes to respect and the right to climb the social ladder. I believe it doesn't always matter to be called a Bitch. It's offensive, but those who even open their mouth to call you that, are intimidated by your will power and wish to put a stone around your neck to drag you down. Don't let them scare you off to become something. Sometimes such people need a sincere and delicate kick behind their butt, because what you fight for isn't something small they should close their eyes for. It's important and should be treated as that. Sometimes people have mud in their eyes. It doesn't make you necessairily nice, but sometimes you know that what you are doing is for the greater good. Which makes you nice beyond people's understanding and I believe in that.
Allright, that's about it.
Thank you for reading.
Good evening everyone,
Warning: This is a blog on a medical issue.
As far as this goes, To survive Corona could be a cool story for around the harch whenever I'm a grandmother with loving grandchildren. (In the same categorie as the wish of getting married) 'You know, you are spoiled with modern healthcare. Grandma has survived a pandemic on her own, without there being medication available for it.'
I shouldn't cheer too early, but I'm slowly getting well.
Though next time I'll take more caution when having to cook for my fellow patients with this below the belt. I may have survived, but I'm still infectionous. I can't jump around a public kitchen after Corona, and the possibility off it still being in my system. I have to refuse them asking me to cook wednesday soup untill everything is done. I know on forehand they won't like that, but I can't take the risk off someone catching up on Corona because off me.
I lay in bed a lot, or I watch tv or eat / drink when I'm up or I take showers. To eat still goes perfectly. It's no issue to keep food in. It's a matter though, that I lost smell and taste for a while (It's getting back, but it was a bit strange to have that.) I had the perfect idea to purchase a range off DKNY 'be delicious' perfume samples some time after I got infected. I barely smell anything. I should wait with trying them after I got my smell back. To taste is less off an issue. I taste dinner I got served and breakfast I eat just fine.
I'm tired a lot, but I can't sleep except at night. But that's my personal issue. (Sleeping issues) That still goes on. I do take a lot off rest all day, though.
Good afternoon everyone,
I decided on making banana cake because I wanted something good to eat this weekend. I happen to have the problem that I can't seem to smell or taste well, and those are symptoms belonging to Corona patients. Can you believe it, I have been baking a perfect banana cake with a home made spice mix, the appartment must smell wonderfull but I only seem to smell anything when I keep my nose right above my banana cake. Yesterday I took a shower with several products but I couldn't smell anything after I was done. You get the idea. This banana cake doesn't get the appreciation it deserves. Still I wanted to share my receipe with you.
Banana Cake.
- 200 grams off bananas
- 200 grams caster sugar
- A teaspoon off Vanilin sugar
- A hint off salt
- 4 medium eggs
- A teaspoon off baking soda
- A teaspoon off baking powder
- 200 grams off all purpose flour
- two tablespoons off something that goes by the name off applepie spices or pumpkinpie spices abroad. I made my own mix. Over here it's called 'Koek en speculaas kruiden.' Ment for spiced cookies.
- 60 grams off unsalted nuts. You can use a mix off diffrent kinds off nuts
- Icing sugar for decoration.
- A cake pan for pound cake.
1. Mash the bananas in a food processor untill they're perfectly smooth. Adjust sugar, vanillin sugar and salt and mix untill the substance is somewhat creamy.
2. Adjust all eggs at once and mix untill it's smooth. Incorporate spices, baking soda and baking powder in your food processor untill everything is a liquid mix.
3. Adjust flour at once. Mix untill you have a smooth batter. Adjust all nuts at last and give it a short mix to mix well through.
4. Bake at 165 degree celsius for about 55 minutes untill it's well done.
5. Let cool in it's tin for about 20 minutes and then turn it to a rack or a plate. Top with icing sugar.
Good morning everyone,
I got my test result today, and I got tested positive on Corona. Which means I have it.
I'm not allowed out the upcoming time and maybe I was right about infecting people when cooking food for them. I hope it won't get any worse than it is right now, I have mild symptoms and they're about to investigate who I have been in contact with. I hope I won't die because off this. I see it a lot less positive than yesterday.
I don't feel in the right mood for banana cake. Or maybe I wil make myself some for comfort food this weekend.
I haven't told my mom yet. I don't want her to worry too much about me but that can't be avoided this time. What am I to do if they have to close de Boed down because off this? I feel like I couldn't do anything about it, but I'm guilty in this as far as this goes.
I don't mean, closed down, but to take more rest and taking your time to truly do things is much better for most people than to live it at full speed, like when it's no lock down.
People take their time for what matters these weeks. I personally feel revived by simply just doing a few small tasks each day and not over-hurry them. Isn't this what mindfullness is probably all about? Take your time, do everything with care, do most things with full awareness and don't haste things. Life is pretty relaxed if you take it that way from now on. without any commitments, with barely anything stressfull going on, just to breathe and to live. I love that. I feel like I personally can deal with life much easier that way. I may come off as a slowpoke not caring much about others, or being a bit unrealistic. But I feel modern times requires too much from most people. Don't hurry, don't overdo things, take things to a level where it's acceptable for you. Sleep in when you feel like it, take long showers and groom yourself as much as you wish to, take time for your morning coffee, eat healthy, take time to cook food, take time for your household - This is what it takes to make me satisfied and happy. Other things in this modern world seem a bit more pointless to me personally when it comes to it.
Tomorrow I'm going to take my time to bake a banana cake. I'll share my receipe with you if I succeeded. It's actually an easy cake. It's simply replacing butter with bananas in a standard cake receipe and then roll with it.
Allright, that's about it.
Thank you for reading.
Good evening everyone,
Personal quarantine has taken place for almost five days now. I don't really mind being in quarantine. I feel like I got a week off, and took the chance to spoil myself a bit by taking good care off myself and doing household things I felt I was a bit behind on. Somehow I don't really fear I'm about to die, and given this sickness fades after a few days, I suspect it can't be a serious ass Corona. (Or maybe it can, but then I have to applause myself for having a perfect immune system.) Still I take this serious enough to slow down a bit, take more rest and take good care off myself every day in a way I often feel I have barely time for.
I feel like I'm visiting a really nice person who takes perfect care off me instead off being in my own home and fallen to the despair off someone who might have a pandemic illness. I should take days or even weeks off like this more often, also without Corona being around and when it's behind the back. I suppose this is how you can keep up with a drama like this. I pamper myself like a princess.
I still feel a bit low on energy. I believe I should eat a fresh made vegetable soup to regain energy.
When all off this turns out to be just a small flu, I hope to go on with life and creative projects at full power again and do everything I'm already planning ahead to do for de Boed. Can you believe I spoiled myself by purchasing about three big cookbooks these weeks? I feel like I'm lucky I have no husband this time to be accountable to when it comes to cooking / baking supplies. It may sound weird but I have been splurging a lot when it comes to that this year and I'm not planning to hold back on that subject. It's my number one hobby. I can imagine myself getting fights with a man over purchasing a lot off expensive cookbooks and kitchenware. But it's not something I wish to stop (Getting more and more supplies.) as long as I can afford.
Maybe I'm allowed to live simply by planning to make de Boed a perfect Indonesian dish and even more perfect soups each week. I bought a book on soups, on stews and on Indonesian cuisine. I decided the first thing I'm about to do is to make a nice dessert to celebrate I'm out off this as soon as it's over and I'm declared Corona-free for the second time this year.
People in this region are very fond off Nasi and Bami, I felt a strange energy allowing me to live since I was planning on using the Indonesian cookbook for dishes at de Boed. I don't know how to explain that, but I'm taking it. If that is my deal with a higher being to survive Corona, to make those dishes a few times for the group, then I'm taking it. It's sometimes as simple and pure as that. I'm already glad that I couldn't have infected people with Corona by making them soup and hearthy pie previous saturday. And I'm allowed to do what I love to do best these months: Helping people through by making great food. (If you believe in such encounters.)
Tomorrow I'll get my test result. I feel somewhat optimistic.
Good afternoon everyone,
I just had my Corona-test. It's day two off my personal quarantine. I still feel like I can cope with it. Outside it's a sunny autumn day and the sound off a public landmower on mowing the grass around this building. (It's been day two since they have been doing that. I wonder why they haven't managed it in one day. The public lawn isn't that big.) I have been watching TV and it's all about the American elections. I have been skipping to Coffee Time, a morning show on a diffrent TV channel and served myself some coffee, but skipped back to channel 1 after that was done. After a while I got fed up with watching TV and did an attemps to fold laundry. (It took about two days to get the entire laundry done, so I'm proud I got folding done in about half an hour, except for my bedding stuff.) That's been my morning so far.
Allright, on to my personal problem:
I have been locking myself in with caution and on as much distance as possible from most people, but previous saturday, I have been cooking a large pot off brown bean soup and an onion pie for my fellow clients at de Boed. What if I got them sick with that? I hope nobody got sick so far. I believed I did well for them serving them something healthy with all kinds off herbs, garlic, onion, beans, vegetables, a hint off meat and broth. I have been trying to cook delicious foods for de Boed to help people through this crisis, but what if I have been infecting people during that proces? What will I do if I do turn out to have Corona? I feel a tiny bit better today than I have felt two days ago. Things are slowly turning by but I believe I have been acting irresponsible with what I tried to do. I should ask my care takers about that.
Wednesday soup (My task at de Boed, to make fresh soup for wednesday lunch) could not take place today since I have been in quarantine. It got skipped to next week. Or when I'm back on my feet. Whenever that might be.
Good afternoon everyone,
I suppose I have to thank my guardian angel again, you know, I've talked about him. A male angel who is concerned with my health and who probably lives on my shoulder. General Practice and Leviaan (The organisation I live at.) where fighting over me getting or not getting a Corona test, but as usual when I put something health-mattered on the internet, it finds its way and helps me with that certain issue. So, tomorrow I'll have a test at home. I feel somewhat empowered by that. This morning I put on a shiny pink nail polish to give air to that feeling and put on daytime clothes instead off hanging around in PJ's all the time. I'm so glad I won't be without uncertainty in this.
When taking a look at myself in the mirror, I could clearly see I was sick. I have something going on that makes me a bit gloomy. Even when I got tested negative I'll have to stay in untill it's over. I can't take risks with that nowadays. Be brave, be honest, do the right thing.
Allright, that's about it for now.
Thank you for reading.
Good afternoon everyone,
I have called off from de Boed for probably the next two weeks, since I have complaints. I have a cough and I sneeze, and I have a mild fever. I'm not allowed in at de Boed at the moment since they can't take any risks.
It's such a task to get a Corona test done this week. Care takers are asking General Practice for me to be tested at home, but they don't have time and their test service is already put to it's limits. I'm not allowed to use public transport, and care takers won't take the risk to have me in their car with god knows what in my system. They asked if my family could drive me there, but my family has no time for that. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Hoping it vanishes after two weeks but staying in without any chance off being certain?
As far as this goes, I mention to have a serious fever as I have to take breaks from what I'm doing and not being able to continue at once. I have been making applesauce today my style but I had to take a break from cutting and peeling apples or things would have gotten nasty for me. The applesauce got finished today, but I understood how serious my problem was when being onto that.
My kitchen looks brand new, and kinda expensive and modern when everything looks this shiny and clean.
Coming to think off it, I have been making the stewed pears mentioned in previous posts, but to eat them got me kinda tipsy and that's not allowed in here. So that receipe won't be used anymore. I felt somewhat light and loose from the world when having them. The feeling wasn't unpleasant, since I love how it felt. But I can see why It's not allowed. I like to stick to the rules, so no more stewed pears with white wine for me.
They make a nice picture, though. If I had a husband, first off all, the Corona test would not be a problem since he would get me there, and the pears would not be a problem since I would be somewhat supervised with him around and he would eat at least half off them so I would not end up tipsy.
Now I have to deal with General Practice and Leviaan fighting over getting me a test which would get me out off uncertainty. I think I will make it if I have Corona. I believe I will cure from it, but it won't be easy if this is serious Corona.
There's an issue with Corona damaging your brain. My brain is already sick and damaged, but how will my medication work after it got damaged from Corona eating it up? I believe that could be the end off me, if it hits too hard on my brain. I don't know how to take on this. Should I keep cool, should I make it while I actually don't care what the world things and let go off my emotions, or should I go all egocentric and act like I need to think off myself before the rest off the world? The last option is not my style. I would like to go through this gracefully and just do it. No matter if it gets right or wrong. I conquered it, or I got defeated by it. But I did so with style.
Allright, that's about it.
Thank you all for reading.
