Good evening at the 17th off January, 2022.

 Good evening everyone, 

Today was water cold as how they call that, It's been cold with clouds changing with clear skies, it's still January today. 

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My Blue Monday didn't go as planned. First off all previous night I thought I was about to die. I was fighting something that almost choke me and it took hours to fight it off. I had blurred visions about my family comming to get me and something in my chest felt wrong. I promissed you somewhere I wouldn't write too often about that feeling off dying in the evening or thinking I'm about to die because it happens a lot when you have to take heavy medication combined with a brain issue. That was the first issue today, I got hastily out off bed around 4.30 a.m without any sleep, scrolling through my cookbooks since I desperately wanted to bake de Boed a treat for tomorrow. (My dad's birthday but he has died in 2012) Then I decided to go back to bed and try to get some sleep. I was out off bed before 10 A.M so it was a broken night. I decided then I was about to bake something diffrent than what I had been planning at night and I'm going to do it tomorrow for my fellow clients. I made myself fried eggs with bacon on bread from a left over from this weekend and then decided to go grocery shopping and having lunch at de Boed. Consisting slices off bread with peanutbutter and chocolate sprinkles, and a glas off milk.  

Well, at least my breakfast was a succes. I had a talk with a care taker about what I was going through and luckily she was understanding this afternoon. I went for grocery shopping with the van and got provided a little help from our health care staff to do it since I was tired when being at that. After groceries I went home to rest a few hours but I couldn't sleep. Then I went storing groceries at their place, had some rest here and burning a candle and incense and photographing that beautifull present I gave myself this weekend. It's how the day went by mainly untill dinner. Which wasn't so bad. A brocoli stamp with tomato sauce and vegetarian meat siding it, topped with graded cheese and pine tree nuts. (We have a new care taker who is vegetarian who cooks for us every monday. She cooks vegetarian for us.) And rum raisin vla for dessert. (Vla is some sort off a thin custard mainly eaten in the Netherlands for dessert. The people at de Boed are most fond off rum raisin.) For de Boed, that is not bad. 

I had just an ordinairy day like most off the time, including bad sleep. Nothing special happened, except for some laundry being done. Tomorrow I will finish the laundry. This evening is for snacking on fruits and drinking green tea. Nothing is sacred, except for sleep, I swear. 

And that's how Blue Monday 2022 went by somewhere in the middle off good or bad. Every Christmas has a Blue Monday. But what does this day teach me? Not to take note too much off it probably, or I might call upon some bad omen to take place that day. It brings bad luck to plan something fun to soften the edges. At least for me today it does. If it wasn't for the food, today would suck. Maybe next time it's good to let it pass by instead off taking advantage off fate.

Allright, tomorrow will be for applepie with almonds, golden raisins and dried prunes with my selected cookie spices for de Boed. I have been thinking that combination out this New Year's eve and it's something small I can do for tomorrow. 

That's about it for now- 

Thank you for reading.